Jackie Jac 01

Jackie Jac 01

Hi, I'm Jackie Jac and I do what comes natural to me, but I've never been first in line, however, being second in line behind my slightly older sister, Evie, didn't work out too bad for me when it came to the good DNA that she left over for me. I mean, people have had to take a second look at me for like ever since I look a lot like Evie's younger sister than brother. Which brings me back to doing what comes natural to me, which is to carry the appearance of a girl without being a girl. I guess.

Oh, and it suits me better that after all of those second looks, that I have been tagged as a "soft boy" as opposed to a fem boy or that other title.

Um, let's see what else might interest you then. Ah, I still have nerd blood running through my veins and I appreciate how that group of friends hasn't turned their backs on me, I have a few, well, a couple of other non-nerd friends and I feed the hungry. LOL, no, not down at the soup kitchen, but only because some of those folks liked me a little too much behind the counter and by that, I mean there were too many of them who wanted to take me from behind, so.

And the hungry that I feed, once a month or so, are my friends via a bonfire and snack mixer. And the occasional misfit who wanders towards my backyard from the power lines property when they figure out that a little food and maybe a beer is available for the whimpering and puppy dog eyes. And oops, I mean the outcasts. The misfits hang out near the oil pipelines, so that's my mistake, so I occasionally feed a few of the outcasts, but I often have my nerd crew chase them away. And yes, that's LOL.

But it's also par for the course with the way my backyard opens towards the power lines property, so my nerd body guard crew are on constant high alert.

Anyways, that's my social life for the most part. I mean, I wander out to other places from time to time, but my insurance agent often warns me that my personal policy (on my fem face) would be voided if I purposely put myself in the presence of someone would didn't appreciate what I have, so.

Now, I'm not trying to give the impression that my bonfires are blow outs or anything. Just a few folks here and there who know me and deal with me in a respect manner, a few things of beer and snacks from the Deli. LOL, which is why I have the occasional outcast appearing just outside of my property line because a good Mountain Lion can smell food from a long distance, right? Oh, and they can smell beer too.

So, my bonfire mixers are somewhere just above being boring and at least within the boundary lines of socializing, so, yeah, that just about sums it up nicely, I think.

And LOL, there is an area for "private" socializing in the grassy area along the side fence and a log for my nerd friends to sit on (which is just a dedicated row of foldable wooden chairs, but everyone calls it the nerd log row, so).

And then there is Howie, a good guy and my wood pile master, but just a little too horny for me, but like I said, Howie is a pretty good guy. Just too horny for my tastes.

"Well, it's not gay that I speak with you, Jackie Jac, so."

"And I never said anything about that Howie, I just said that if you wanted to talk to me, well, you should say more than twelve words, so."

"Fine, Jackie Jac, your body is impossible!"

Oh, so good guys who are a little fag on side just go right for then? Huh, right?

"Well, thanks Howie, I think, but I'm pretty happy with the amount of good DNA that my sister Evie left over for me. I mean, it's kind of what got me going in this direction anyways, so."

"Well, that's about all I had to say. I mean, it's just that I have just been noticing some things about you lately, Jackie Jack, that's all."

"Alright, then I guess we're done here then Howie, I mean, unless you have other thoughts that you really want to get out and all, so? I mean, that was a lot of bother on your part to whisk me off towards the "private area" of the bonfire just to say that you like my body, so???????"

"Hey, I mean, I didn't whisk you over here, so."

"Well, half of that line was from something the Dragon Princess said and I just wanted to use it, so?"

Oh, I see now. That slightly fag on the side guy was looking for a way out to save face seeing how he wasn't going to get anything from me then, right?

"You can leave first, Howie, I'll find my way back alone alright. I mean, I know my backyard like it's my own backyard, so."

Oh, I mean, the night was young, so he could have put up a little more of a fight, right?

"Well, the line was "why not just kill me now and end all of this bother" anyways Jackie Jac, so."

"I know, Howie, but I didn't want to put any ideas in your head about killing me, but thanks for letting me know that you bothered enough to try something with me, so."

"You don't know what I was going to try, Jackie Jac!"

"Howie, the first words out of your mouth were about my body!"

"Oh, well."

"I'll see you around, Howie. Well, listen, for future reference, it goes flirt, date, blow job and then obey, alright Howie?"

"WHAT?"

"Just kidding, Howie and hush your voice before you have to explain to everyone why you're off on the grass screaming "WHAT" and all, so."

I mean, I just made that sequence up on the spot, but it sounded decent, right? Flirt to generate an interest and then go on a hand job date down by the river, which probably leads to a blow job on the front porch later that night and then lay down whenever the bull says to, right?

So, I strolled back on my own and swung around towards the nerd log.

"LOL, I can't believe you, Jackie Jac!"

"What Janelle, we were just talking and stacking the wood, so?"

"Yeah, but look at your high tops! They have grass dew on them, for Pete's sakes!"

"WHAT? (Oh snap, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry)."

"LOL, relax, Jackie Jac, I'm sure you have some paper towels or napkins around here somewhere. Or fifteen other pairs of high tops, I mean, you're such a nerd!"

"Oh, says our Nerd Princess who is watching over the designated nerd sitting log! And I mean our beloved Nerd Princess who seems to be just a little extra perky tonight, so??????"

"Oh, oh great, the soft boy notices my push up bra and nobody else does, great."

Well, I've known Janelle for like ever, so you know things after so long, right? Like how all of a sudden, she was extra perky!

"Hi. I mean, right?"

"Oh, um, hi, I mean, sure."

Oh, oh great, LOL, someone finally noticed Janelle's perkiness and she, well, you read it, that was Nate saying "hi" and that was Janelle saying "sure" and off they strolled in the dewy grass. Which was fine because I had to be on a mission to find something to wipe my high tops dry with, right? I mean, we all have priorities, so.

Well, of course, I had plenty of paper towels, but I didn't expect Bruce's girlfriend, Cierra, to sneak up on me while I was drying off the dewy, dew on my shoes.

[Wipe, wipe, scrub, swipe, wipe, SOB, wipe, swipe, brush, wipe]

"So, Jackie Jac, any prospects these days?"

"Not my style, Cierra and you know that, so."

"Well, things change every day, so you need to keep after things to keep up with things, but you know that's all on you and not them, right?"

[Frustrated wiping, hard wiping, the color is rubbing off wiping]

"Well, if someone would just take me out someone without forty expectations."

"Oh, sorry Jackie Jac, so you're looking for someone in their late forties who struggles to get it up or something because these younger bulls don't have those types of issues and these are different times and all, so?"

"Cierra!"

"Fine, I'll back off and by the way, you're rubbing through your shoes with frustration, so? Also, huh, I mean, even your nerd queen has a date, so."

[Super frustrated wiping, very hard wiping, theses used to be red wiping]

"Anyways, Janelle isn't on a date in the grassy area, I'm sure she's just pointing out a star formation to Nate, so."

"Alright, or being his Bonfire Girlfriend, if that gives you any ideas. I mean, Nate's pointing north and Janelle, all of a sudden is pointing north, so maybe it's a Pointing North date and all. Anyways, I said that I would back off, so change your damn shoes get back at it, bonfire host."

[Ha, ha, ha, black high tops, ha, ha, ha, better then sex, ha, ha, ha]

"Jackie Jac, I wouldn't necessarily say something, but I see some eye shines out in the back and they are getting a little close to Jenelle and Nate, so???"

"Well, be the man and tell the outcasts to move along. I mean, can't you see that I'm having a high tops emergency here, Pete?"

"Well, with the way you bend over so finely, I mean, everyone here knows that you have a mighty fine and shapely ass, I mean, a shoe emergency, but listen, I think one of the eye shines is your dirt crush."

"Pete, stop calling Sammy my dirt crush and yell at them that the bonfire is winding down and stop watching me fiddle with my shoes!"

"Yeah, but Jackie Jac, I mean."

"OMG, is your dirt girlfriend out there too? And is Janelle role playing a Bonfire Girlfriend for real?"

"And you stop calling Kaylee my dirt girlfriend then. And I don't want to talk about Janelle (but I've seen things)."

"Well, the party is still over and I'm not walking through the dewy grass again, so you need to man up and clear things out for me."

I mean, why is everyone always sneaking up on me and all? Especially at my own house?

"Hi."

"Oh, um, hi Sammy, I mean, we were just talking about, but all good, I promise and um, well, I mean, you talk now then."

"So, you, Pete, right? I mean, Kaylee's probably hungry and thirsty, so."

[Swoosh, swish, body check, bump, return, oops sorry Sam, brush off shoulder, swoosh]

"So?"

"I mean, Sammy, if you can get some the hot coals from the bonfire into the grill, I have some steaks in the refrigerator."

"Ah, Jackie Jac, you have a gas grill, so."

"I mean, whew, I'm, wow, the bonfire is hot and all, so."

"Ah, Jackie Jac, we're on your rear patio, so."

"Well, I mean, I thought you were going to kiss me on the cheek last time and all, so."

[Mwah]

"When Pete's Dirt Girlfriend pushed us together."

[Mwah, ummah]

"I mean, I've never called you my Dirt Crush, so."

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, slurp, mwah, ummah, ow]

"I mean, the bonfire mixer is basically over anyways and all and I thought you were going to talk now, Sammy."

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, slurp, mwah, ummah, ow]

"I mean, Sammy, do you think that Pete and Kaylee are loving right now (gulp)?"

"I'm not sure who says it that way, Jackie Jac, but what is she doing?"

"Oh, hey, um, don't mind me, hi, I'm Cierra and I'm just making sure that the two of you know which pair of jeans gets unbuttoned tonight, so don't mind me as I unbuttoned your jeans, Mr. Outcast. Oh, and I don't see why any of us has to mention this to my boyfriend, so bye now, Jackie Jac, the party is just about cleared out, so mums the word. (Ahh, Mr. Outcast, you might have to do most of the work, but watch how you man handle his precious hair.)"

I mean, she knew I could hear her whispers, right?

[Gulp, slurp, suck, ow, ow, bite, suck, nibble, nibble, slurp]

"Now take it out of my boxers, Jackie Jac! I mean, other than, ahh."

[Ow, ow, oops, pump, thrust, pump, thrust, ruin, run, wreck, pump, pump, huh, huh, ah, ah, wait, huh, ow, ow, ga, ga, ga, ga, oh snap, oh snap, ow, ow, ahh snap, OMG, OMG, what, what, throbbing, OMG, throbbing, ooh snap, oh, gulp, swallow, swallow, ewe, ewe, oh]

"Ahh, ooh, ooh, sensitive, Jackie Jac, sensitive, ahh, ahh."

"(Ewe, gulp) I mean, I just like that you kissed me, that's all, so."

"I mean, how many steaks do you have in the refrigerator, Jackie Jac?"

[Cough, gag, gag, cough]

"Four, I checked the refrigerator and if you ever call me a Dirt Girlfriend again bitch boy."

"Kaylee, I mean, I mean, ooh, oops, I mean I said Outcast Girlfriend, but I coughed, so."

"LOL, its fine slut, now come on, I'll help you with the steaks. I'm actually a grill master as well as a certified Dirt Girlfriend, so."

I mean, they were still just the outcasts who wandered around when I had a bonfire, so we weren't friends and all, but when you have a grill master, you take advantage of that grill master.

[Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, flip, flip, flip, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle]

"That's how I sound in bed, Jackie Jac and your nerd friend Pete likes the way I sizzle, so."

"Well, I'm actually happy that Pete has such a Sizzle Girlfriend and all, so."

"Oh, well, you're the posting master, so you can post that. I like Sizzle Girlfriend and all, so."

"I mean, Kaylee, I like to attach photos and stuff, so."

"Huh, well, I'll work on getting some new lingerie for such photos then. I assume that's where you going with all this then, Jackie Jac, so."

[Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, flip, flip, flip, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle]

"Well, I mean, I think that bathroom booty mirror selfies are hot and all, so? I mean, there might be a small bag in the bathroom cabinet under the sink, so. I mean, it's probably all matching black and very flattering to your figure and all Kaylee, so?"

"Huh, well, I mean, huh, I'm at a loss for words right now, Jackie Jac, so."

[Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, flip, flip, flip, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle]

"I'm just saying that a Sizzle Girlfriend should really sizzle, so."

"I mean, did you just turn the tables on me, Jackie Jac?"

"Let's serve the guys and eat, Sizzle (Bitch)."

"Huh? Guys, belly up to the patio table, I guess."

You see, folks? When you have as few of friends as I do or did, you reel them in whenever you can. And you try to forget that you got lost in a moment of lust.

End Jackie Jac 01