Jacob & Mrs. Gilbert 01

Jacob & Mrs. Gilbert 01

I have heard before that once you do something at least twice, then it becomes your job, even if it's just a side job or a chore. Well, I rewrote that old saying after the first time Mrs. Gilbert asked me to take her car through the huge automatic car wash just on the outskirts of town. If Mrs. Gilbert was going to hand me her key FOB and then retrieve it back from me while wearing her house robe, well, that's my kind of chore. And it certainly didn't hurt that her robe never seemed to be closed too tightly.

So, how did this new chore of mine come about? I was in the right place at the right time and praise the heavens for cat burglars and Mrs. Gilbert's belief that cat burglars hide inside of the automatic car wash amongst the high-pressure soapy water and the multiple rotating soft swirl brushes while waiting for an unsuspecting victim to use the car wash.

And because Mrs. Gilbert liked to wear her house robe exactly how I thought a house robe should be worn, well, I kept it to myself that cat burglars went extinct way back in the day, which I also didn't mention because I had no interest in saying something that she might consider to be a comment about her age. I mean, if it ever came down to it, I would be truthful and state that cat burglars and Unicorns went extinct in the 1970's or something, but until then, I was going to treat my eyes to whatever I could glimpse twice a month. And speaking of twice a month, it seems to me that the Forever 40 Ladies club could meet more than twice a month, but I take what I can get.

"You're all set Mrs. Gilbert. You will pull into the parking lot for your Forever 40 Ladies club meeting in the cleanest car in Middleton."

Here's another thing I learned from my new chore and it speaks to my tender age of 22 (Mrs. Gilbert's words, not mine). If Mrs. Gilbert wears such lingerie under her skirt and blouse, then it stands to reason that I have stood before many women in my brief past and some of them were wearing basically the same thing and I never knew it. And just because it's delightfully fun to say, viva garter belts and nylon stockings.

"Thank you, Jacob, it's really nice that I have you around to take care of these things for me. I mean, the thought of a cat burglar hiding in between all of those flinging and flipping brushes scares me so."

Here's another that I learned the hard way while taking care of Mrs. Gilbert's car cleaning duties. I don't always hear everything she says because my brain diverts a lot of energy to my eyes and away from my ears. I mean, I get the functionality of certain lingerie, but the look and the styles are for men, right?

"Huh, would you look at that? My robe slipped open a little more and you didn't run down the street. Huh."

Nope, I didn't hear anything, but a lace bra, am I right?

"Hello? Earth to Jacob!"

"Oh, ah, sorry Mrs. Gilbert. Anyways, have fun trading gossip with your friends tonight. Who is your BFF? Maggie?"

Ah, seriously? Did her robe open up even further when she planted her hands on her hips? And is that a pose or the beginning of a scolding?

"Yes, I suppose it's fair to say that Maggie is my BFF at the club. Maggie and I actually had a brief lesbian affair when we were abducted by aliens because they left us alone in a small room at the bottom of their spacecraft."

Is that small square piece of plastic on the front of her bra a snap feature? And if it is, does not mean that there is no hook feature in the back?

"Oh, I'm sure that working on your crafts with your friend Maggie in a small work room won't alienate you from your friend Maggie, Mrs. Gilbert."

So, if the small plastic snap were to be un-snapped in the heat of the moment, would things go "swish" or would it be more of a "swoosh", not that it would matter, right?

"You know Jacob, Maggie is really going to pressure me tonight about giving her an update on how it has going between you and I. Her suggested plan has you and I getting involved in a crazy sex affair in three easy steps."

It would be "swoosh", right? I mean, I'm no expert on bra sizes, but her bra seems to be awfully full, so they would go "swoosh", right? And do I move back a little or stay put and take one for the team?

"Well, Mrs. Gilbert, if you think it's crazy that you always trip a little when entering the hall where the Forever 40 club meetings are held, it might be because there are four steps instead of three steps."

That's it, I've decided, I would lean inwards and take one for the team. So, moving down a little, would that garter belt thing interfere with the quick removal of her undies or did the designers take that into consideration? And why in the hell haven't any of the girls I've dated before worn such lingerie for me? Like, all one of them?

"Maggie said that step one is a crazy quickie because we lose ourselves in a few moments of absolute lust. Step two would be what Maggie called afternoon delight and step three would mean that I make you breakfast in the morning. So, Jacob, what do you think of Maggie's plan?"

OK, I'm positive about a few things, but those are not granny panties that Mrs. Gilbert is wearing. But they are not a thong either. I mean, that's a nice triangle in the front, but I can just see the edges of material that slope diagonally across the sides of her globes, so what type of undies is Mrs. Gilbert wearing then? The stupid designers should print the name right on the front of the triangle.

"Ah, Mrs. Gilbert, I don't think it's crazy at all that you and your friend Maggie often have a quick breakfast for lunch in the afternoon sometimes. Everyone loves pancakes and eggs, right?"

Alright, scratch the name printing idea. Those little accent bows are totally hot and it would be a shame to not have enough room for them. OMG Jacob! Stop thinking about such things and get your head in the game! I mean, there are other things to gawk at, I mean think about as you stand in front of your lovely neighbor, like if there are two garter straps in the front to support her stockings, does that mean that there two straps in the back? I mean, a woman wouldn't want her nylons to be lopsided, right?"

"Well, I guess were done here, Jacob, so snap out of your day dreaming and make your way home as I finish getting ready for the gossip club. And I wouldn't mind if you kept your eye for me tonight about 10pm or so when I get home. I mean, I couldn't greet you at the door in just my slightly opened house robe if some stupid cat burglar nabs me."

Damn, another snap. Her bra has a snap, her garter straps have snaps and now the extinct cat burglars are going to snap nab her away? Not on my watch! I'm not giving up on my exposed skin eye candy every two weeks because some stupid cat burglar made a come-back from extinction.

"Mrs. Gilbert, wait. I have a confession to make and I'm apologizing in advance, but I can't go on much longer pretending that I don't notice you."

"Huh, really. Go on young man and start confessing then."

"OK, here the thing. I know it's wrong, but I'm single and you're single and I'm interested in starting a crazy affair with you. And if people catch on and call us out for our age differences, well, we can claim that we were abducted by aliens and forced into it. And if that doesn't work, we'll tell people that I had to seduce you to get you out of a lesbian affair."

"Well, so far, there doesn't seem to be much that we would have to explain to people, so go on."

"But that's the thing, Mrs. Gilbert, you have to listen to the things that I'm saying. I mean, sure, it would take a little while for people to catch on because our very first sexual encounter would just be basically a quickie and we might get away with spending a few hours in bed together during the afternoon, but sooner or later someone will notice me leaving your house in the mornings and claiming that we only enjoy having breakfast together is only going to go so far before people start putting two and two together. I mean, listening to the details is important, Mrs. Gilbert."

"Well, Jacob, I'll be sure to pay closer attention to you moving forward."

Alright folks, just to prove to you that I wasn't standing there drooling over her wonderful body and learning where every curve was, I also learned that Mrs. Gilbert must watch old western movies once in a while because she used her hand to swing the right side of her robe back just like the old-time western gun slingers did in the old movies when they were ready to draw.

"And as far as those cat burglars go Mrs. Gilbert, well, I read online that they have made a come-back from extinction and are known as thugs now, so maybe I should have a quick look around your house before you get involved in getting ready for the gossip club."

"So, Jacob, if I listen to what you're saying carefully, which I promise to do from now on, for my safety, you should have a quick look around, especially in my bedroom where my makeup vanity desk is?"

"I'll be quick about it, Mrs. Gilbert."

"Well, let's not get to carried away with how quick things will be, Jacob."

"I'm sure your friend Maggie would approve, you know, for your safety and all, Mrs. Gilbert."

"LOL, yeah, Maggie would approve of video of that! However, speaking of safety, I'm safe and I have almost two hours to get ready, so are you just going to stand in the foyer and gawk inside of my open robe or are you going to attempt to work a few of my snaps?"

Hold for an update folks. They are going to go "wallop" once I unsnap the little plastic snap on the front of her bra. I mean, as soon as she whipped her robe back in gun slinger fashion, well, all I knew at that moment was that they were going to go "wallop" as I took one for the team. LOL and I was right.

Anyways, I am happy to finish my story by saying that OMG, Mrs. Gilbert still has some physical and vocal game! I'm also happy to report that our first quickie wasn't all that quick, twice.

Unfortunately, I must conclude my story with honesty and let it be known that Mrs. Gilbert promised to interject her friend Maggie into our wild and crazy sex affair. Oh, yeah, I know that sounds great, but the truth is that Mrs. Gilbert's parting words for me after we left her bed were that she would ask her friend Maggie to cough up a pair of her panties so I would have something to jack off into as I inhaled Mrs. Gilbert's lingering perfume and while the automatic car wash conveyer slowly moved me through the wash and dry cycle. I mean, I thought that little camera on her dash was just connected to her GPS system, right?

But hey, I can almost claim it as a 3-way, right?

End Jacob & Mrs. Gilbert 01