Jacqui Wilkes And Me

"Yeah but Jacqui, look at what you've achieved. The sacrifices you've had to put up with to get where you are."

"Gwen. For the last four years, Marcus has paid my course fees and found us a lovely flat that he's never once asked me to contribute rent for. I've achieved more in my career because he's been there financially, emotionally, and all-round supportive. He's also helped fund me in Melbourne when I've needed some rent money, the new dress and shoes for the charity shows and fundraisers."

"So how do I repay him? The man I love with all my heart." I looked at Gwen as she swallowed hard and tried to blink away tears, "Hmm. Well, Gwen. How do I repay him?"

She went to answer. Her mouth opened but absolutely nothing fell out. I looked her in the eyes, "Exactly!"

A little time later Gwen spoke up, "Jacqui, I want to apologize for my part in this umm... this what I talked you into. I'm truly sorry. Look, I've asked everybody to give you time and space. They've all got their fingers crossed that you come back to each other. All this episode goes no further than us, we've all given our promise on that. Tricia can't make it to the event and management said that was fine. Seems a lot may not be there. I wish they'd all said that before. God, I'm so disappointed in us all. We never really thought about it, did we? I've changed my flight and called a taxi. I've created enough chaos for one day and I'm deeply ashamed of myself. I'm so sorry. I'll go now and see you back in Melbourne on Monday." After an awkward kiss and hug, Gwen was gone.

Alison. My word that woman knows some swear words but I'd have to say that once I'd worked through the details she was more forthcoming. She made it patently clear I was in the wrong. I told her if what I planned was our only way back to each other I'd follow through with it and to hell with the rest. She suggested I give it the weekend to consider and come back with my final decision because work would become harder to find if I pulled the pin.

Alison wasn't about to give up though. She also asked about a contact number for Marcus. She thought he might open up to her. I told her what I thought of that plan.

_ _ _

I could only wait and hope he'd be home before I fly out on Sunday night. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself, looking around at our lovely little flat, all our 'stuff' gave me pause to think about our life together.

I fell in love with Marcus King at college, he just didn't know it at the time. I couldn't really do anything about it, at eighteen and seniors I had a boyfriend while Marcus had a two-faced slut by the name of Sharon 'Shazza' Winter who slithered out from under some rock and attached herself to him like a leech.

Slut-features and I played in the same netball team which aggravated the shit out of me. She stole my position: Goal Attack. Typical scatty blonde. Taller than my five-foot-six inches by a couple. Big gazonga boobs, long legs, and bigger physically, I'm a thin frame and she muscled me out of the way in the trials. Bitch still took a few elbows to those important little places though.

What pissed me off about the slut was Marcus was besotted with her. And she all but had him on a leash. Sometimes I could have gone and slapped that smirk right off of her whore mouth. There had always been a bit of rumor and innuendo around Sharon and what she got up to. Marcus didn't realize. I found evidence she was doing the dirty on my sweetheart after one of our away matches.

All of us had showered, changed, and made our way to the bus while little miss-can't-keep-my-legs-together was nowhere to be found. When she turned up she was a mess and that unmistakable smell wafted around her. Sneakers, socks, and coverups in hand she wobbled and smirked her way to the back of the bus to peels of laughter. Of course, innuendo got replaced by all-out gossip complete with cell videos from the bus. So, no surprises when Marcus gave her the shove off. 'Me' and 'mine' split harmoniously, we weren't our forever and that meant I could snatch Marcus up.

And then, just like that he disappeared. His older sister had gone from school too and the house they lived in had a 'for sale' sign on the fence. It was some weeks later that one of Marcus' close mates had caught up with him and found out the full story. His mum had hooked up with a visiting American country and western muso of some sort and the sleaze had convinced her to run off with him. His Dad packed the family and they'd moved into the city.

His friend Jim said that it had done Marcus' head in and he'd lost all trust in females in general. The thing with his mum had been going on for a while and when he found out about what rent-a-slut Shazza was up to it all unravelled.

I immersed myself in my career. Theater, acting, and drama creation became my one focus. Yes, I became a bit of a 'dryballs' when it came to my social life but what I was learning became my first love. Being browbeat by my three flatmates to venture out for the night changed things for me.

I'd not seen hide nor hair of Marcus until he walked into that bar where my girlfriends and I were. It was one of his mates that I was watching first, he looked, and acted like a player. I'd decided to stay well shy of them all.

I saw one of my old high school mates, Amanda, kissing one of the guys. 'What the hell was up with that!' She moved so that I could see who it was she was doing the deed with. I couldn't believe who it was. My heart jumped into my throat, he was here. He was back in my world, still as lovely as always, his smile said it all. My staring across the room, willing him to see me. To acknowledge me.

His eyes headed in my direction, first with a look of curiosity and then recognition. That smile. His attention drawn away to another of my high school friends dragging his head in her hands to her, demanding a kiss.

Before Julie's kiss had finished I had made my mind up that Marcus King would be all mine before the night had ended. And that was exactly what I did, I set out to win the heart of the man. By the end of the night, I had totally handed him my heart to do with whatever he so wanted. That night we became a couple of lovers in love and started down the road of being the best of everything we could to each other.

_ _ _

He walked through our door early Sunday evening. Surprised to see me still home. "Jacqui honey, I've got some things for us to consider. That we need to sit and talk through. I don't know that you'll particularly like some of it but when I explain things, and the reasons... well I'm hoping you'll see it's best for both of us."

I disagreed with all of it. Hated it, vented, raged, and shouted at him. It was so unfair of him to even suggest what he'd come up with. Why would he want to break up such a beautiful life together? Told him what I'd done to undo the hurt I caused. In desperation and in front of him I rang Alison, shouted, and demanded she send the email to the producers and that I wouldn't be returning to Melbourne at all. I rang Gwen and asked her to explain to Marcus how sorry all of them were and how our personal situation wasn't a topic of conversation anymore. He was unmoved by it all.

His arms surrounded me. I was wiped, the effort expended overwhelmed me, "Jacqui, you've come so far in your career successfully. You can go as far as you've ever dreamed and follow that path. I'm not capable of sharing the limelight with you, it scares the shit out of me. I've thought about what that would mean to us breaking up. You could make a serious impact in your career, I'm fine with it. You need to show the world your talent."

My head shook 'no' silently, tears blurred my vision. He cannot be serious. "You can't be serious."

I pushed against his chest and forced myself out of his hold. I wiped the tears away, "You don't get to do this to me, throwing my love away so easily. Or just walk away and wipe your hands of me like you're doing me the biggest favor... It's you I want in my life. You know that. I've loved you for the longest time. I don't need to go out in the world to be a success. I can do that with you right here. We have a beautiful life together. And I won't walk away from that."

Things he'd said had hurt me. He crushed my body to him, "I'm sorry honey. Guess we need a better plan Huh? This is the last thing I wanted to do. Seriously upset you."

"Marcus. Anything you bring up that means we separate our lives will upset me so please, I implore you. Please drop this train of thought. I'm not going to agree with that. At all."

We stopped talking about that subject in total. If Marcus brought it up I ignored it. I wouldn't let it be a sore point with us though and after five or so minutes I'd refresh my demeanor, put my smiley face on and we'd get back to where we should be.

_ _ _

On a raft of clauses Alison renegotiated my contract and because I dug my toes in and wouldn't compromise the producers relented putting any kind of onus involving our relationship or life. It helped. A lot.

What I wasn't ready for was an approach by a production company for an acting role in a three-part mini-series, involving filming over three and a half months in Melbourne and Sydney studios. Additionally, outside and external scenes were to be filmed in New Zealand. Their summers can be rather fickle so the shooting period would commence in mid-January to mid to late February during some of the hottest weather. That was the plan.

Alison admitted what they were offering wasn't amazing by any stretch of the imagination but it had some serious advantages for me as an actor. First and foremost the director for the series was a Kiwi who had become a bit of a sensation in Hollywood. He'd produced a blockbuster and scooped an Oscar, had just completed another that was awaiting release and in nine months was due to start filming as a director on one of Hollywood's longest-running flagship sci-fi big-screen film sagas. He admitted he enjoyed working with up-and-coming Kiwi and Aussie actors.

When I told Marcus his response was so, so positive, "Oh. Wow!... Damn, that man makes a good movie... Hey! isn't he in line to direct... My head was nodding like a bobble-headed idiot, Wow! Honey." Staring at each other with huge smiles my man pulled me to him, "I'm freaking proud of you. This is it you know. Next step up, on your way honey."

The other advantage. The chance to work side by side with two actors I had a lot of respect for. One Kiwi and one Aussie. Both had made their names in their own country and then internationally. Renowned for sharing their experiences and knowledge in the art form. Both had had nominations for film awards as best supporting actors and both had won their many awards in films that were considered big screen blockbusters.

I'd sat in a workshop that was presented by our Aussie legend at TAFE and I took what she passed and used it time and again in film and theatre roles more regularly than I'd care to remember.

So, with that on the fourteenth of January and a month to our birthdays, we were both same-year February babies, Marcus and I said goodbye for what should've been a little over a month away from each other.

Long days, multiple locations, multiple scenes, rehearsal, and script changes meant staying focused and in touch with things, costume changes, and changing emotions for scenes that would be episodes apart.

I'd hoped that Marcus could fly over for the weekends and he had planned to but remember what I said about the weather being fickle.

Well, it started raining and whenever it stopped the wind started. We were filming in the upper north and the weather was forecasted to get worse with a tropical cyclone predicted to make landfall by the end of the week. Forecasts upgraded the cyclone and warned that it may escalate to a civil emergency. People headed south in droves.

I found it hard to stop my eyes from leaking when I called Marcus. He already knew that flying over would be silly, "Honey, it is what it is. You just focus and concentrate on what you have to do. We're still both here and doing fine. You need to make the most of your opportunity. Concentrate on your profession."

I couldn't stop choking up, he asked if I was okay, "I'm... I'm fine... You called my work my profession. You've never said that before. No one ha... Oh, see now you're making me cry... You big dope."

One civil emergency, a few location changes a three-week filming overrun and a whole lot of very tired actors and crew disappeared in all directions. I was meant to fly home for three weeks then Sydney for a week then Melbourne for three. Never happened, straight to Sydney. Then Melbourne. Back to Sydney. Finally, three and a half months after leaving home, I was back. With a few days off before flying out to Melbourne to start filming the soapie.

For the time I was home neither of us got out of bed for long, well maybe to put dry sheets on our bed and eat. Feast might be a more apt word for it. We didn't wear a lot of clothes over that time, more than once we ran out of hot water. Marvellous for the soul. We had time to celebrate our birthdays belatedly, both twenty-six years and a few months old now, what the heck happened to twenty-five?

_ _ _

Things didn't calm down. If anything the year got faster. Demands from advertising and promotional commitments, and an Australian mini-series successfully took care of my year. We ended with a dozen weekends where we managed to get together. Other times flying visits. It wasn't what I wanted at all and I knew the strain was getting to me.

Christmas came and went. Our twenty-seventh birthdays were celebrated, not together. Again. My next challenge hit me right between the eyes.

Alison rang, "Hey gorgeous, I have an offer that you'll want to take a serious look at. You've an offer to audition for a Hollywood role. I've emailed the details and the first audition is in Sydney in a fortnight. When you've perused everything, come back to me and we'll talk. Okay? All good? K. Bye-ee."

_ _ _

Chapter 3 - Me.

While Jacqui was filming in New Zealand I had a call from Alison Reid. Jacqui said she could be 'forthright and bitchy but conciliatory too.'

To Alison our relationship as a couple was different. She wanted to talk to me because accepting your partner's commitments with very little questioning or argument wasn't that common. I told her how my separation talk went sideways, why I proposed it, and that Jacqui was adamant she'd never accept it. She understood, if anonymity was what I wanted she'd make it happen. I added if Jacqui had overseas film companies asking for her she'd be hard-pressed to maintain a separated relationship. And that's exactly what happened.

The film audition and screen test had gone well but the producers for the soap dragged their feet over when she would be written out. They had a contract commitment. Playing hardball, wanted a sealed deal that Jacqui had the Hollywood part before committing themselves. Hollywood refused any form of negotiation telling the production company to sign Jacqui's release.

The Hollywood audition was delayed. The book author wanted his niece to play Jacqui's part so all the parties were in long drawn-out negotiations. Alison felt Jacqui had enough to deal with and kept it quiet. Then to prove the point Jacqui was already over-committed Alison rang to ask her if she'd be up for a three-week trip to do a spot on 'Celebrity Treasure Island.'

Jacqui lost it, "Are you fucking serious right now Alison. Even if I had the time it'd still be fucking NO! NO to-fucking-day, NO yester-fucking-day and NO to-fucking-morrow."

Jacqui ended the call and threw her cell across the room. "FUCK!" I went to her and held her, she mumbled as she dug her head into my chest, "Just make it go away, honey."

For tonight I did. After abusing the shit out of my body she quickly dropped off and slept the sleep of the dead. Somewhere during the night, my cell went off, 'she ok marcus?'

I replied, 'yep. she will be. needs time.'

'cool. thanx marcus. nighty night.'

_ _ _

Her professional life became all-consuming. Lots of commitments away from home and away longer. The Melbourne production company finally got their way with the Hollywood bosses and she left for the US audition earlier than what was planned. By November she had her first support role in a major Hollywood movie.

The local mini-series should have gone smoothly. Two explicit sex scenes for Jacqui's character had been added in the final two episodes. Jacqui refused point blank but the argument went back and forth until Alison got the Hollywood lawyers involved. They pursued the fact the producers were aware Jacqui was up for a major film role and attempted to capitalize through despicable means.

Jacqui said Hollywood was becoming aware of what sexual misconduct was all about.

She finished filming her character's departure from the local soapie. The mail she received from heartbroken fans of the program and wishing her good luck overwhelmed her.

Alison called me. "Jacqui's withdrawn, short, and curt with me, other times disconnected and unaware. I've had to go over points a few times but in most cases, I'm sure she hasn't heard anything. Or she fakes it. In the end, I'm told to 'just deal with it' or if she's in a good mood, something more conciliatory. You know, 'I'll leave it in the best hands' or 'I trust your decision.' I know this woman well, we've been on this journey and down this road and any other fucking cliché you want to name." I may have snorted at this point. "Something is well off with our girl... I'm worried. Really worried. I'm not gonna be in the States to watch over her shoulder all the time but she cannot go over there with this present flippant attitude she's adopted. It's the land of sharks. I'm scared she'll sign something she shouldn't."

Has Jacqui signed up to something already? "No, everything goes through me... but, I got a heads up from a very reliable source that some of the people have gently posed to her the suggestion that a state-side agent may be a good idea. They've even suggested a joint relationship with me as a sweetener. Marcus the source said this isn't new news, it was dropped into the conversation at the first audition and from what they understand at ongoing meetings."

I asked Alison what her plans were, "We have an open channel through my source and I've stressed I want to maintain that. I'm intending a confrontation, a 'come to Jesus' with Jacqui. What shape that takes I don't know yet. Just keep an eye out and if anything untoward comes up let me know please Marcus."

I wasn't expecting to see Jacqui for a couple of weeks so when I got in on Friday and the washing machine was going and there were travel bags inside the door I guessed it was gonna be a great weekend. The smells coming from the kitchen were pretty good too. But the kiss was off-the-charts hot.

I must have dozed, I felt lips lightly kissing my face. My eyes opened to a pretty face wearing a curious little smile. Her finger traced up my chin across my lips and up my nose. Her tongue found my mouth.

The aggressor, her hand pushed my chest. With one movement, the sheet disappeared. Her leg swung across my middle pinning me. Hands went to my shoulders and she looked down at me. Her lips curled evilly, eyes fixed on mine shuffling her core down leaving a wet trail behind. Her free hand reached down between us and found me, her fingers playing. Finding a response to her hand movement she smiled.

She played, tapping and rubbing the hardening head against her opening. Thinking about what was coming next drove us both crazy, I raised. Her hand movement became more urgent, but she pulled herself away, teasing. We both moaned in frustration though and then slowly she lowered herself sucking me into her.