All Comments on 'Jailbreak'

I really, really enjoyed this story ... dealing with an often sensitive subject, it was well and sympathetically written.

Thank you.

Beautifully crafted. Thank you, G.

I am glad to see your works submitted and published JMMJ. :) hugs my friend

-starsong

Well written, sad but at the same time a happy ending from a bad situation.

Great story. Blended families are more the norm now in our society and it's good to see that civility is possible.

Phew - I started late this evening, and didn’t expect to read it all tonight. ‘One more chapter’ I kept telling myself. I couldn’t stop.

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As you described, a nice light read - no mayhem or murder, literal OR figurative, and no dastardly ‘Snidely Whiplash’ style villains. A ‘happy ever after’ for all.

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I especially enjoy stories in which location plays a prominent role. I love the Western Carolina/Eastern Tennessee area, and had fun revisiting there in ‘Jailbrsaking’.

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Thanks for sharing your story.

Excellent story!

5

Excellent. Really liked it.

A sweet story and an excellent recommendation. Well done.

Wonderful. I wish I could write like this.

Outstanding

Well, that was a good one - I'll ratchet that up to a great story - with a nice flow through the years, no loose ends flapping in the breeze and an ending where everyone is happy. Such Realistic dialogue between the family members and great editing either by your and/or your "staff".

Excellent story, Five Stars worth. Thank you for it.

Very enjoyable story and very well written. I hated to see what Mary did to herself and her family and even felt sorry for her end result before her therapy, but not enough to seriously hope she’d be pardoned. The wrap-up was good, bringing needed closure. Finally, I got a good laugh at the UT color comment and Jason’s sweatshirt idea; a friend once threatened to send me a Vols jersey following a particularly surprising game. Great job!

Loved the chapter titles

The Warden/Prisoner context is a fun diversion from the standard story on Lit. While one could argue this tale is a bit wordy and bland, that is only due to the background of the typical Lit LW submission. In effect, a truly effective BTB without bloodshed, bruises, or one-way trips to a Mexican brothel. Well done!

I will also point out that the excellent grammar and word choices make this tale an easy read.

Keep 'em comin'.

Very good story!!!

Interesting process. Very good story.

I can say "The Rehab" will grab you.

So Mary rehabilitated herself after she lost her marriage and family, but couldn't see her cruelty for her arrogance and narcissism. Its like an ape turning into a college professor. Mary didn't just rehabilitate, she evolved. From evil to virtuous, from cruel to generous. It was too much to belive. But thanks for the effort.

Quite nice. Good Pgh touches, although a little surprised that CMU wasn't on the initial architectural school list. North Allegheny HS?

What a wonderful story, could have gone in any direction. 5 stars every day

Liked Teed Up, points get taken off for the inexplicable transformation of the wife. No way 10 ptsch sessions turn a woman 180 degrees around from her obvious dominant personality. And vice-versa - the husband doesn't go from hating the warden to loving her. It's not human nature.

Same plot as teed off.

What an interesting concept. Wardens, prisoners and visitors. I almost didn’t read it because of the way it began. Instead, you built the characters in a really positive way. Although I thought Jason would either marry Grace’s mother or go back to his ex-wife. I was pleasantly surprised that he found another good love interest. It was a good story and a happy ending.

what a lovely lovely well crafted story. My wonderful barb and i love loving happy ending stories. reminds of us

This story started off well,but ended up nauseating,everyone living happy ever after,what a load of hogwash.With her attitude Mary isn't going to drop her knickers on a first date,let alone have an afternoon of sex before being wined and dined.Also as she was so busy how could she take the afternoon off?.Matt and Grace were too good for words,never having a row,yet staying together through their university careers.What a saint Leanne is,stepping back so Jason could shag her sister and William is too good to be able to describe.As for Sheila,why did she have no love interest,she seemed to flit in and out of the story at the authors whim.?

Well written, but the relationship between the X's was too close. No wife will tolerate proclamations of love to an x.

Good story. I liked the concept of the shrew wife as the warden and the beaten down husband as a prisoner. After that part though I think the story got pretty predictable. The only surprise was Jason hooking up with Myrium instead of Leanne. And I use the term “hooking up” in the old fashioned sense. But it was somewhat gratifying seeing Mary realize she was the problem and working to get her life back in order after their divorce. Thanks, jmmj5, for a very entertaining story.

Near brilliant story. The emotions portrayed were so raw it hurt.

VERY WELL DONE!

Hallmarkesque. If you like that sort of thing you'll love this one. Well told.

Your a bit too soft for my tastes, wife is pretty much evil, cheats on him(divorce just began) and is easily forgiven, sure she changes but why was forgiveness so easily given, so much abuse and forgiven just like that.

Slow, pleasant story. Mary's abrupt 180° turn is unrealistic tho. In general when those people suffer the consequences of their behavior they just double down.

At least she wasn't a cheater, just did not have the proper appreciation of her husband and kids to put the care and effort into maintaining and holding on to the family.

First, this is a well written story, few spelling or grammatical errors, a reasonably good plot, and a proper ending. Not one I would have chosen, but I am not the author.

But, what is with this bullshit statement

I love you but I am not in love with you.

What a load of fictional bullshit. Trite clichés.

I read the words but they make no sense. I cannot understand this sequence of words.

In the real world they make no sense.

In fiction I have absolutely no idea what message the character is unsuccessfully trying to convey. Are they supposedly talking about a romance?

Is he planning on two timing his new girlfriend?

Maybe sexual attraction is what they are talking about. We all love to flirt and to fuck.

Are they recalling the good old days of young true everlasting real eternal love?

Are they merely affirming that we like each other?

Are they hungry? Perhaps they love each other like I love apple pie.

Do they just excite each other? I love my Mustang/ Harley or whatever.

What exactly is meant by the phrase "I love you, but I am not in love with you."?

It makes as much sense as saying I am purple, but I am not purple.

This talented author obviously has an above average vocabulary so why can't he/she use unambiguous words?

Why repeat a word like "love" that conveys such a vast array of emotions or even physical feelings.

There are over 470,000 words defined in Webster's, plus all the slang and quasi techno geek speak. Surely out of 1,000,000 possibilities contained in the English language there must be other more suitable options instead of writing lovely loving nonsensical ambiguous nonsense.

Well, that's all from me folks.

Upgraded to 5* after second read.

Very well done.

To the Anonies that blast this for being too long, wrong choice of words etc etc etc.

Write your own story just the way you want it.

Top work, real heart wrenching stuff.

Well written. But…….

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It was impossible for me, at least, to understand how Jason even gave Mary the time of day…much less help her out so much and tell her he would always love her. As well, the transformation of Mary from a super narcissistic controlling bitch to a fairly humble nice person was both way too fast and too complete. Just no way.

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4 ****

Wonderful story! I had some trouble with his magnanimous posture with Mary but I just bypassed that for the sake of the story.

10 STARS

Pass the sick bag,parts of this were simply nauseating. Why did Jason finish up with Myriam and not Leanne?.Also how come Sheila never had a boy friend?.

Nitpic, you almost sound like me there.