All Comments on 'Jake and Jordan Share a Dorm Pt. 01'

It would have been nice to have a page or two more.

I hope you post again soon.

Thank you, this looks like it will be a great read!

WTF ??

This could be a very hot story of sibling love and affection. Good start for your first story please continue.

A good start to what I hope is a very hot incestuous love story. I am impatiently waiting for more

I'm fairly certain that the ratings for your first story would have been higher, much higher, had it been more of the story. Had you gotten to the point of someone, either one, both of them, were at least contemplating the prospect of idea their sibling was worthy of masturbatory inspiration, or more, your first effort would have garnered more attention.

You would have gotten considerably more views, and thus more people anticipating your next installment, and more followers.

This said, you can't change what's done, but you can progress into the story further than maybe you originally intended on the next installment, to make up for it. Even if you're reluctant to fully indulge the twins immediately, the next chapter definitely should involve some swapping of bodily fluids, even if it's not wholehearted for one of more of them.

If you don't intend to continue with at least a second installment, that would be a huge mistake, and it needs to be your next submission.

I was terribly disappointed that I couldn't rail on your for spelling, grammar, phrasing, etc. I do love the chance to hound new authors for their poor mechanics. *wink wink*

Please do continue.

It rounds to 5. The only problem was it was too short. Ok, more details would have helped, but it’s a great start. Please don’t keep us waiting.

Your idea is good. Your hook is good. However, this chapter was too short and too rushed. There is plenty of room for development of the plot and I'm looking forward to see what you do with it.

I am enjoying this story and excited to see it continue.

Nice start, but the unexpected ending waso a disappointment. Should have been a lot longer.

It has potential. Little short, though.

Can't wait to read more about these two college co-eds in the future!

Looking forward to more :-)

When you move this story forward -- and you definitely should -- give a bit more description. Does Jake have a dusting of soft chest hair for his muscular chest and pecs? A treasure trail? Pubes? And when his cock gets so hard, are they headed for a love-making session down the road? They very well could've each other right there!

, a little short, but the perfect speed, I love drawn out stories, take it nice and slow, very nice voice as well

This is as close to my basic fantasy with my sister as it gets without the sex part. Simple, to the point, and very effective. I love it that they hug when naked and get to feel each other. That was very erotic. Thank you.

Off to a really great start. Please don't fuck it up! There have been so many damn stories on here that had potential and started off good only to degenerate into an epic failure later. 5/5