by savagedream
I enjoyed reading this first chapter & I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Thanks for writing and submitting. I did find the story a little awkward to read, without too much flow, but don't have any suggestions beyond that.
you expect us to believe that even though he acts like a total ass hole that she is willing to screw him no way she would find a way to avoid him and sleep out side if needed she sure wouldn't screw him total waste of time what you described should have taken place over a couple of months not days get a good editor and do a rewrite and slow it way down so it is more realistic and believable
Please tell me she is knocked up now. Need more. Hot fucking story! Write more.