All Comments on 'Janie's Honeymoon Cruise Ch. 01'

Poor Robert!

Robert had enough information, the whore had failed the test miserably.

He soon had his new bride in the moonlight at the rail with nobody around. He picked her slutty ass up and over and dumped her in the ocean to feed the sharks.

Poor Robert my Ass!!! Robert is a drunk...Period!

Janie fell into it Innocently enough and after thirty days of no sex and desperately looking forward to the honeymoon cabin, I'm surprised she wasn't having orgasms just holding hands.

Accidentally witnessing a very sexy and sensual surrounding - well, Amber and Sam were friends, she was comfortable with them and hearing Ambers' story and watching - well...jump right in.

I thinks she should discreetly screw every available guy on the cruise, keep Robert drunk and annul the wedding once back home, move on and either find a new man or join the swinging community.

Thanks for a fun read, should have carried the cruise few more days but good as you ended it!

The bride already knows her future husband is a roaring drunkard and I’ve been many weddings and this is the first time I’ve heard of any loving couple going on their honeymoon with anyone other than themselves.

I have no idea why this couple should want to get married? Apart from the slightly sketchy plot line, there are some issues with grammar and punctuation.

‘stated Amber’ is not part of the conversation and shouldn’t be within the quotation marks, so it should read.

"Sam is pouring coffee and vitamins down his snout as we speak,” stated Amber, “he thinks Robert should be ok even if he only lasts thru the ceremony."

Just my view.

Amanda

Robert has every right to get an annulment. What a bitch. 1 star

Since Lit doesn't allow a negative, assigning any score at all infers acceptance. Don't score it.

I read some of the comments for this piece and found some negative. Isn't it interesting that most of those commentators don't write themselves? Kind of like the monday morning quarterback.

I thought the story worthwhile and could see some of these scenarios unfold. It is certainly reasonable to believe the reactions by some of the characters faced with what unfolded.

have used up space on this site that could be used by a worthy author. You try and present something to the public with absolutely terrible grammer, lousy punctuation, a plot that is shitty and unfathomable. There is no way I could begin to give this a score.

The point of this couple being married is? And the point of this story is? Someone mentioned that this could 'happen' and that the story was 'worthwhile' and they could see people acting this way? Really? they can find people so fucked up they would do this? There is no one to like in this story from the stupid drunk husband to the whore/slut wife and everyone else in this story. But the writer is a swinger so he will write a story about people having random muiltple partners at every turn. In this case it happens to be on someones honeymoon, which brings me back to the question why did this couple ever get married? They care nothing for each other and the wife has absolutely no 'love' or 'respect' for her husband. So what is the point of marriage? Marriage used to be about being with a partner you loved and respected if you are just going to fuck around and not respect and not love your partner then stay single and fuck and suck everyone and anyone you want. That is what this whore/slut wife is doing. As someone else said in part two the ship sinks with all the people drowning. That would be a good chapter two.

If ever there was someone totally useless it would be this author.

Hope for a follow up.

The people who comment here as if this is a real couple are so retarded. Evidently they have no idea what the words "erotic fiction" mean.

1) Erotic - meant to be sexually titillating - not necessarily to you. I know that its hard for you to understand that something that you don't like might be erotic to someone else. Think of it this way - I find your incest fetish repulsive, but I keep that opinion to myself.

2) Fiction - it is not true. It is not a real marriage. Get over it.

Morons.

Good Story. Voted 5 Stars.

Yes, I've heard of plausibility... but I still able to watch Shrek without tearing my hair out (unlike some pedants here who wouldn't know fantasy if it slapped them in the face with a big wet dick).

Ever heard of fantasy? It is fantasy precisely because it is not plausible in real life.

Now, stop wasting air and put an end to it all already.

Lets see if I follow the logic here. If for some reason one partner in a marriage fails to live up to the other partners desires then the door is wide open to cheating. And I mean cheating on a massive scale.

Now most women after 45-50 years old loose their charms and sex drive.

That means it time to dump their fat asses and get a young lover.

Hint to all men keep the money well hidden, in fact appear to be broke at age 45 and see how faithful and loving the bitch is.

even fictional ones, should just never get married. Ever.

"Yeah, yeah a perturbed Janie answered, but Robert and I made the deal, so I'm going thru with it. Anyway it's on for tonight and I'll wear his ass out."

"a perturbed Janie answered," should not be inside the quotation marks as it is not dialogue. Seems like you make this kind of mistake a lot in this story so I'm thinking it's a lack of understanding rather than a typo or two.

Her husband, so worried about their wedding and whether or not he can make her happy, goes on a drinking binge and screws up her wedding night. So what is a loving, concerned bride to do. I know, she should go fuck the neighbors and her friends. Yeah, that is a reasonable story line, for a slutty whore who should never have agreed to marriage in the first place.

Of course she has an excuse right? Robert made her go without sex for a month and then was not available when she needed him. However, that does not wash considering that in the morning, after her lust was satisfied, she had no thoughts of her husband or guilt at what she had done. Instead, her thoughts were about how much fucking she was going to do over the next eight days with whoever she could find. Her primary thought about her husband was "fuck him". I wish the author had expanded on that a bit to show her making the decision that the marriage was a mistake and that it was over.

And what good friends the author portrayed. Did Amber continue to console her friend and advise her to be strong and not cheat on her husband. Of course not, she knelt down and started sucking dick, allowing her newlywed friend to join her. I guess none of the three of them cared that she was ending her marriage before it started. Sam was such a good friend to Robert as well, NOT. There was no way that Robert was not going to find out. He would know she did not spend the night in their cabin and that would lead to further investigation.

Some may be surprised, but eroticism does not require cheating. There are many stories on this site that are far more erotic that do not also glorify cheating. Some that do have cheating are also good because they explore real consequences. This story could have had Janie and Robert accidentally discover the swapping together a few days into the cruise. After some discussion, they could have decided to join in, perhaps just for the duration of the cruise. That could have been even more erotic, which leads to the conclusion that the intent of this story was not simply to be erotic but to also glorify a cheating slut and her cuckolded husband.

Here is my suggestion for chapter 2. Robert wakes in the early hours of the morning and discovers that Janie is not there. He dresses and heads to the door to look for her. Just before opening it he hears Marty and Kara leaving his friends' room down the hall. He does not want to run into them, so he waits as they walk past. Fortunately for him, he hears them discussing the night with Janie and that they cannot wait to get back in the sack with her and Amber and Sam.

Robert is crushed. He sits back down and begins to think about the situation. He does not know what to do. He is mad at himself for his actions, but does not feel they are an excuse for hers. After a couple of hours he decides that he cannot stay with Janie. He knows he can no longer trust her. If she would cheat on her wedding night, she will be a cheater for the rest of her life.

He gathers and packs up all of his things, writes a letter to Janie and heads off the ship to catch a flight home. When he gets there, he packs up anything belonging to Janie and delivers it to her parents house. He explains to them that Janie found several other men on the cruise that she would rather be with and that he was having the marriage annulled. They just stared in shock, speechless, as he walked away.

Mid-morning after the wedding night, Janie, Amber and Sam finally awoke from their slumber. Janie cleaned herself up, dressed and said that she had better get back as Robert was probably wondering where she was. Amber asked her what she was going to tell him about being gone all night. She replied that he was dead to the world when she left and would have been all night. She would just tell him she had risen early and went for a walk around the ship. She asked them to not say anything about last night to him and to ask Marty and Kara to do the same. She said that if Robert was drunk again tonight, she would be back for more and bounded out of their room and back to hers. On the way, she thought about helping Robert get drunk again. She was really looking forward to married life with Robert, but with an evil grin on her face she decided that it would not be bad to have some more fun before that got started.

She entered their room and Robert was not there. She thought the room looked a bit empty but could not immediately determine the reason. Then she saw the letter on the bed. She opened it and read; "To my dear wife Janie, I really hope you enjoyed your wedding night with my ex-friend Sam, Amber and that other couple. I heard them talking in the hallway when they left the room early this morning. You were evidently quite the star attraction. I am sure you will have an enjoyable remainder of the cruise. Consider it my parting gift. I have packed up and headed home, my home. It is no longer yours. I guess my fears about this marriage were not unfounded. I will have our marriage annulled when I get back to town. You will find all of your things at your parents' house. Please do not try to contact me. I will not see you or take your calls. I will not spend any more of my life with a slut who will cheat on me at the drop of a hat. Have a nice life. With faded love, Robert".

Janie sat down in shock. The glowing satisfaction she had felt for the previous night's activities began to turn sour. She realized that her anger at Robert along with her pent up lust had prevented her from recognizing that her actions could have serious consequences. Since she really did want to spend her life with Robert, those consequences could not have been any worse. She knew Robert well enough to know that there was no hope of reconciliation. She just sat and cried.

Now that would be a fitting ending to this story.

So typical of this poor excuse for a writer, YOU DON'T FINISH YOUR DAMN STORIES!!! you have so many chapter 1's and other unfinished stories, do you just get bored with them?!

more chapters will follow. Based on this chapter alone, I hope Robert figures out what has transpired. Sure, he's been drinking too much, but that does not excuse Janie's behavior.

tim this story is 2 years old, there is no chapter 2 and never will be.

However, then it went of the deep end with her getting involved with the other two couples. No doubt there were plenty of young men on the ship one or two of which she could have met, flirted with, and then fucked. I would have rated it 4 or 5 stars, Instead I rated it 2 stars.

reading your stories is worthless. where the fuck is chapter 2 this rates a rating of 1 only because there isn't a minus number why write a story and then either not finish the damn thing or other chapters another worthless author. with a number of unfinished stories why bother writing them if you cant finish them. maybe you can explain it to me thru clicking on my screen name.

I think BetterEnding should've do chapters 2 and 3 of this story make it more exciting with Robert packing his stuff and leaves his disgusting slutty ass bride and her disgusting slutty ass friends on the cruise. Divorce her ass quit drinking get in shape and move away never to be seen or heard again.

WHY get married if your into having sex with other people really don't believe these storys one a slut always a slut next thing will be stds and divorce and dumpt lol same as all the rest of the storys in loving wifes yea some wife!

Your ending would be awesome...Maybe add an epilogue that shows the response from her parents and her friends.

SmallKahunapussy, do you do write your whores and cucks from personal experience?

From the perspective of hot sex, what Janie experienced with her old and new friends was pretty hot. From the perspective of all of Janie's build-up prior to the cruise, we are led to believe that she is committed to her husband, especially after she seemed to be okay with his state of affairs being so drunk the night before the wedding.

It seems to me that the story would have been much better with Robert showing a little constraint with his drinking and having a heart-to-heart with his new bride about his nerves and tie into that his fantasies of sharing his new bride. At that point he is surprised to find that she has similar interests and then they get involved with the other couples. Could have been quite the sex filled cruise with lots of other angles to explore.