Jay's Loelife Ch. 08

chapter

eight

jay

I think about Loren the entire time I'm home for Christmas. I want him to feel comfortable with my family but I also want to avoid anything that may trigger him. Since I don't know what that is, every picture is carefully scrutinized before sending. No Christmas ornaments, no tree, no group photos.

I haven't told my family about Loren but they know there is someone. We suck at hiding stuff.

"I promise to fill you in soon enough." It's not much but it's all they get, for now.

The mess of presents aren't even cleaned up before I'm rushing out of the house and catching my flight back to Seattle.

"Hey," I say into the phone as I deboard the plane. "I just landed."

"I'm thirty minutes from your house. See you soon," Loren says over the road noise and the rain. His van is cool looking but not quiet.

It's pouring buckets so I hike my bag up and run to the waiting car. Seattle doesn't get white Christmases; it gets wet Christmases.

I look at the time when I get home, I have just enough time to shower and change. I finish getting dressed and rush down stairs; dripping hair and all.

Loren stands there in expensive grey joggers and a matching zip hoodie damp from the rain. The way it hugs his body is worth every penny he didn't pay because I'm positive they were gifted. I went with him to his post office once and ended up picking up twice as many packages as we dropped off. 'People want me to show their stuff,' he'd said.

I quickly pull him in for a long, hard kiss.

"It's only been three days," he says, his eyes alight with humor. He's so beautiful and he knows it.

"A long three days," I tell him as I pull him to the living room and set him on the couch. I push him back and lay next to him. "Can we please just do nothing tonight? I'm tired."

Loren wraps his arms around me. We spend the rest of the evening just like that. I feel guilty that I'm not more entertaining, but Loren doesn't complain. He's sneaky though. His hand drifts south, grazing my junk a half dozen times.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," he chastises. "It was an accident."

Accident or not, his subtle touching has me horned up and I can't stop myself from kissing him. Again, he doesn't complain. He also doesn't let me get as far as I want. When I try to get in his pants, he shakes his finger at me, teasing me. "I don't want to compromise your virtue."

Two can play this game.

"I'd hate to put you in an uncomfortable position," I say as I push my pants down a few inches. Once I have my dick out, I start stroking it. "I'll just take care of this real quick. Gimme a minute."

Loren can't stay away. He quickly pushes his pants down and rolls on top of me. Loren hot as he ribs against me. It's over embarrassingly fast for both of us. I'd like to say we last twenty minutes but...

Once we catch our breath, I reach out like I'm trying to grab a fly.

"What are you doing?"

"My virtue, it's getting away."

He laughs harder than he should. I love the sound of it. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. It's getting late and he'll be heading home soon.

"I really missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Are you coming to the game day after tomorrow? You know you have tickets in willcall."

"Oh, I don't know. We'll see."

"I know you don't enjoy watching football but you can still go and cheer for me."

"But there's parking and crowds, and people--"

"Okay, okay, I get it. You don't have to go."

Loren moves until his hugging me from under my shirt. He does this a lot. I don't think he realizes how desperate he is for skin-to-skin. I don't say anything because I love it and, if I bring it up, he'll stop.

Once he's snuggled in, he mumbles, "I'll try."

****

Loren doesn't make it to the game, which is fine because we lose. The loss hurts more now because we're so close to the playoffs. Luckily, we're still having a good season and I'm hopeful we'll go the distance.

I opt to fly commercial since Denver is so close. Any time I fly like this, I give myself an extra hour for photos and autographs. I make it to security before the crowd forms.

It starts with a few whispers and discrete pictures but once the first person approaches me, it's chaos. I love it.

I have an incredible fan base who are kind and respectful. I get to do a lot of stuff in my day-to-day without people in my face, so moments like these are fine. I've had a fair ride considering what other players go through.

I give Will a heads up. He's parked on the curb when I make it outside. A few more autographs and pictures and then I'm a free man.

"You always do this to yourself. Why didn't you fly private?" He asks as we pull away from the curb. Will is another one of my homies from college. When Seamus got married to Kelly and moved out, Scott and Will moved in. I loved living with them but it wasn't nearly as easy as it was with Seamus.

"It's only a few times a year and people love it."

"You love it."

"I do. All these years and it's still bizarre to know all those people are going home and sharing their story, how they saw Jay Petermeyer at the airport or that we shared a flight. It's not much, but it's a cool feeling to know I made their day."

"More like their year, but yeah, I know what you're saying."

****

The trip is quick but packed. I spend every minute I can with my buddies. I even babysit little Aidan one night so Seamus and Matt can go out.

It's my last day. I'm walking down the beverage aisle with honey-to-do-list from Seamus when I see a kid on his hands and knees reaching deep into the bottom shelf while his friends watch.

"Just get whatever's left," a pretty brunette says. "It's going to sell out if we don't."

"She's right. We barely got here in time for the coconut creamer."

The poor soul on his knees manages to secure three cases of soda. He stands up and brushes off his pants then hefts all three cases in his arms. "This can't taste good. There's just no way."

With three cases of Dr. Pepper, two giant containers of coconut creamer, and the largest bottle of lime juice I've ever seen, they leave. Honestly, I never would have given them a second glance except the ingredients looked awfully similar to a weekly special I saw at Seamus's café. Loelife's Drink of the Week.

Loe. My sweet Loren.

He posts a drink in the morning and the shelves are baren by the afternoon.

I toss a case of water in the cart and dial his number.

"Hey you," I say after the beep. "I just watched a group of kids clean Safeway of all their Dr. Pepper, coconut creamer, and lime juice. It made me think of you. The drink is surprising good, by the way. The baristo, as you call them, scammed me of sixty-dollars. Not sure it was worth that much," I laugh. Remembering how Matt made me tip him and his two friends twenty bones each. Pretty steep for a soda. "Hope the trailer reno is going well. Call me when you're free."

I leave another message when I land in Seattle and one more when I get home. After practice, with no returned call, I drive straight to Puyallup.

I find Loren in the shop. He's bent over the trailer frame grinding it to an inch of its life. Sparks are flying everywhere. He's wearing a tight long sleeve shirt and a face shield. I don't know if it's the look or the confidence of a man who knows how to work power tools, but I find myself very attracted to him like this.

Corey elbows me. "Hey," he whispers. "Want a seat?"

I follow him to the side of the room where Ruby and Isaac are sitting on stools. I watch in silence as Loe does his thing. He's a natural in front of the camera. I'm continually amazed by him and his talent. There's not one thing he hasn't been able to master. Except for learning football, though I don't think he's really tried.

The funny blonde guy from before is standing behind the camera. He waves when he sees me. At least he stays on task this time.

Loren stands and takes off his protective gear. "The thing about any renovation is you need to be prepared. I thought the frame was in a lot better shape. In fact, I bought it thinking it was the only salvageable part. Clearly that's not the case, but I think I finally got the rust off. The next step is to paint it. You need to use a specialized paint that's made for this type of thing. You can find it at your local hardware store. I have a couple brands linked below if that's the route you want to go. I decided to reach out to my buddy at RazorLine auto. He's crazy talented and is going to powder coat this beast for me. I know not everyone can afford--" Loren glances my way and does a double take. He stands there, shocked. He glances between me and the camera a few times. "--Umm." He flounders. "Uh, not everyone can afford to powder coast the frame...the DYI paint is fine just follow all the directions and do your prep work. Always do the prep work."

Loren films for another thirty minutes before he wraps up.

"I've done all I can do. I'll take the frame to Cameron tomorrow and let him work his magic. But I'll be back, prepping a few things so we're ready to hit the ground running when the frame is finished. Have a good night and remember, it doesn't matter if you're living the low life or the high life, just make sure you're living your best life."

The second they're done the blonde guy is one me.

"Jay! What an awesome surprise. Did you just get back? I saw the pictures you posted of you and your friends. Who's that cutie the little boy? Omg I just about died when he was wearing your hat."

He just keeps going and going. I look at Loren for help but he grins and goes about organizing his tools. When he finishes cleaning up, he saves me.

"Sven, leave Jay alone. He needs both ears to play football."

Sven rolls his eyes. When Loren's out of ear shot, he leans in, "You know, he and I used to hook up all the time when we wrapped up filming. Now he's all shouldn't you be working and leave Jay alone."

"You two used to...?"

"Oh yeah, all the time."

"But not anymore?"

"No, not for a while. I'd like to think he started catching feelings and got scared off. He's never been much of a feely feely person, you know?"

Oh, I know.

I waggle my brows. "Maybe you should ask him if he wants you to stay and edit."

The answer to that question is written in the sky apparently. Sven won't go there anymore. Since Loren is off limits, the small blonde man looks at me with sultry intention. "What about you? Are you free tonight?"

Loren shows up out of nowhere. With a hand on Sven's shoulder, he shoves him towards the camera. "Time to pack up, Sven. This isn't a brothel."

Sven makes a face, blah blah blah. Before he leaves, he discreetly gives me another business card. "Good luck next week. Last game of the regular season!" he sings. Then raises the roof, "Woot woot! I'll be there!"

Loren graciously holds the door open for Sven, as soon as he's outside, Loren shuts the door rather hard.

Ruby must have snuck out because I don't see her but Isaac and Corey are watching with great amusement.

"You guys are free to leave."

The three share a look. I imagine it has to do with Sven and Loren's past.

Corey nods. "Good luck next week."

"Are you going?" I ask.

"Nah. It's sold out."

I look at Loren, whose suspiciously busy. I look at Corey. "Uh, you know there are tickets at willcall, right?"

Corey and Isaac both look at me, then Loren. "What is he talking about?"

Loren pushes the cart of tools to the side of the room. "Can we talk about this tomorrow."

Isaac doesn't want to wait but he knows Loren won't be forthcoming so he turns his attention to me. "Have we had tickets at willcall all season?"

My eyes dart between my boyfriend and his friends. I'd lie but the truth is pretty apparent. "For the majority, yes."

"Oh my fucking God. Are you kidding me Loren?"

"There's tickets with your name on them if we make it to the championship game."

Loren glares at me. I shrug. This is his grave. I was under the impression he told them.

Isaac points a finger at his friend. "I know Jay just got back so I'm not going to fight tonight, but we will talk tomorrow." He and Corey walk to the door then pause. "I can't believe you didn't tell us."

Loren starts turning off the lights and I follow him out the door and to the house. "Thanks for having my back."

"I had your back when I started reserving four tickets to every home game for you and your friends. You not telling them is on you, not me."

Loren doesn't argue because he knows it's true. I don't argue because I miss him...and he'll have his ass handed to him tomorrow anyway. When we get into the house, Loren excuses himself to shower and change. When he comes back, his hair is dark and damp and he's wearing a white shirt, dark green sweatpants, and no socks.

He collapses on the couch next to me then curls into me.

"Are you done ignoring me?" I ask.

"I wasn't ignoring you."

"A little bit, yeah. You didn't return a single call or text the entire time I was in Denver."

"Well, it's not just me. You were busy with your friends."

I take a breath and try to speak without escalating the situation. It's the first time we've talked in days, I don't want to ruin it. "You're right, I was busy. I did call you as often, though. If I made you feel like you're not a priority then I'm very sorry."

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying you're busy, too. You have your own list of importance's."

"Okay...what's going on, Loren? I feel like you're irritated."

"I'm not."

He most definitely is. I wait and let him sit in his emotion for a moment.

It's soft, a barely audible huff, but I know he's given in. "Do you look for other people when you're out of town?"

I look at Loren but he's got his head buried. He's hiding.

"I'm not sure I understand the question."

"Nevermind, it's stupid."

"No, tell me what has you worried. I want to know."

"I don't know. I freaked out a little, worried that you might realize there's someone else who's better suited for you."

"You've lost your mind."

"Don't make a thing out of this."

"Oh, I'm making a big thing out of this. I won't stop until you know there's nothing to fear when it comes to me."

"Sounds terrible," he groans. He still hasn't looked at me so I tip his chin in my direction but he shakes me off. "God no. How embarrassing."

"Ewe, feelings, so gross," I mock.

"You do understand me," he says with a light chuckle. He's embarrassed, as he should be for thinking he's not good enough. It takes a little forcefulness before he finally looks at me.

"I find it funny that you're upset about the thought of me with someone else, meanwhile, that funny Sven guy works ten feet from you."

"He's not funny."

"He's a little funny."

"I can't believe he told you. He's such a fucking loudmouth."

"He was just bonding with his favorite player."

"Whatever," he says. "We haven't hooked up since last July, not that you care since you're a better man and nothing gets to you, but I thought you should know anyway. And when we were hooking up, it wasn't serious. Just sex."

"Just sex."

"Yeah. Just sex."

"On that sofa?" I ask, pointing at the sofa he won't let me touch.

"Unfortunately, yes." After a moment of silence, he asks if I'm mad.

"How long have we been dating?"

"Six months?"

"And if we go to a party, how would you introduce me?"

Loren rolls away with a sigh. "This again?"

"Yeah, this again."

He takes a moment to think about it then he sits up and straddles me. "I think it's stupid I have to do this but whatever." Loren grabs my wrists, pins them on either side of my head, and leans down until he's in my face. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Could you not be so obsessed with me?" The question shouldn't make me this happy but it does. I hope it brings him security, to know we're official.Loren shakes his head at me and leans down for a kiss, which leads to a bunch of kisses, then longer kisses, until we're making out.

"Now that we're official, can I get a blowjob?'

"Oh, I see the real motive behind the question."

"Not at all, but it is a perk. One I really want. If I don't cum more regularly, I'm going to lose my balls. They will actually fall off. The doctor said so."

"The doctor said so, huh?"

Loren starts rolling his hips almost innocently. "Yeah. I can bring a note if you want. For best results, sex five to twenty-five times a week. Preferably a minimum of once in the morning and once before bed."

"Twenty-five?"

"Yeah, fifteen would be fine, though."

"What kind of sex."

"All of it. More the merrier. The naked kind is best. Doctor says naked sex will help the most. So, lots of naked frotting, handjobs, blow-jobs..."

"Anal?"

Loren's palms press against my chest as he rolls his hips with a little more enthusiasm. "Yep. Anal is good. Prostate simulation will keep my balls healthy for sure."

"That answers that."

"I take as good as I give," he says confidently.

I shiver. "That's good."

Loren stretches out on top of me and we make out, rubbing against each other, slowly bringing the other close to climax. Loren starts to move down my body but I stop him. It takes every fiber of my being but I stop him and I hate myself for it.

Frustration takes over and Loren sits up. "I thought..."

I'm quick to pull him back. "You thought right. But if we move another step forward, it's all I'll want to do all the time. I mean, it already is, but it will be worse and it will drive me nuts that I can't. So, here me out. If all goes well, I have five weeks left in the season. If we eat shit, it will be less. The second we finish our final game, I'll come home, shower, and we can start filling that Rx. Twenty-five times a day."

"Five weeks?"

I nod. "Max. Maybe less but for the sake of my career, hopefully not."

Loren swings his leg off me and stands up. "Ok. Then you'll be bed ridden for a week. Don't make plans."

I grab his hand and pull him back down. Just because we're not taking another step forward doesn't mean we have to take a step back. I pull his sweats down until we're lined up. We make out, slower this time. It's not over embarrassingly fast like last time. When we finish, we lay on the couch cuddling.

"How's the trailer going? Seems like you're doing a lot of frame work."

"Don't you watch my stories?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Then I wouldn't be able to ask you about it. Whatever you're doing during the day, I don't want to learn because I watched it online. I want to listen as you tell me."

"Technically, you'd listen to me tell it if you watched my stories."

"I deserve something more than what thirty-seven million other people get, don't I?"

"You're insufferable."

"You like it."

Loren plays with my fingers with one hand while he shows me what he's posted online over the last twenty-four hours. I like see him in action. I could definitely get used to a daily debriefing like this. When he finishes, we eat ice cream while playing footsies on the ottoman. Loren sets his bowl down and grabs his camera. He aims it at our feet, rubs his naked toes against mine, and snaps a photo.

"There's been a lot of speculation about my relationship status lately. This will keep them busy."

"Busy with what?"

Loren laughs. "Finding out who I'm playing footsies with. If you have even one pictures out there of your naked feet, they will have you named by morning. The internet is a crazy place," he says. "I should actually charge for this photo. People would pay big bucks for this picture."

"Of our feet?"

"Fuck yeah," he says, rubbing my feet with his in a kind of sexy way. "Feet fetishes are a big thing. I get requests for feet pictures all the time."