Jay's Loelife Ch. 21

Jay leans his head against mine and exhales. I can feel the weight he's carrying come out in that one breath. "It's different when it's because of my family."

"No one's perfect."

"My family is. That's why this is so irritating. They're better than that."

"They were just giving you a hard time. It's normal. I do it with the guys all the time. Your brothers didn't know better."

"They should have," he argues. "They might not be household names like Tom Brady, but they're making their way. They know what it's like to be in the public eye."

"I don't know why you're crying about it. I'm the one with one-hundred-thousand unread messages. And to be honest, you throwing a fit about this in front of your family is making me more uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to enjoy your time here. I want you to want to come back."

"I want to come back."

He gives me a look that says he doesn't believe me.

"I do. It's not terrible, I promise. Your brothers are a hoot."

"And my parents?"

"They're cool."

"You don't like them..."

"It's been two days!" I laugh. "I'm still fucking nervous. Especially since your mom told me ‌you basically bring all your boyfriends home so you can get their stamp of approval. What if they don't like me? What happens then?"

"That would never happen."

"Let's not forget my history with parents not liking me."

Jay moves to his knees in front of me and wraps his arms around me. "My parents aren't your parents."

"I know this. Do you?"

His forehead scrunches in confusion.

"You're the one trying to replace my parents with yours."

"I'm not trying to replace them. I just want you to experience their goodness. It's the one thing I have to offer."

I run my fingers through his hair. "You have a lot to offer."

Jay lays his head on my stomach and sighs. "I love you."

"Are you proposing?"

Jay growls. "Not funny, Loren."

I love teasing him. "It's a little funny."

After a minute, he stands up and holds out his hand. "Are you ready to go? I'm done for today."

Now that's an offer I can't refuse. His family eyes me cautiously as we gather our things. It's clearly concerning to them that we're leaving early.

Taylor fidgets with the rope thing. "Are we still on for training in the morning?"

"And brunch after?" his mom adds. "I bought everything for Loren's one dish with eggs, green olives, and swiss chards."

Jay slips his hand around my waist and smiles at his family. "Of course. And it's Loren's last full day, so I thought we could take him around town after?"

There's a collective sigh. It's strange to me ‌they care this much. Neither Corey, Isaac, or Cole's family cared like this. Not saying they didn't care, they just let everyone do their own thing. When they fought, people would storm off for a few hours, maybe give a cold shoulder for the day, but no one ever acted like it was the end of the world. The difference in family dynamics is mind blowing.

****

Jay collapses on the cracked leather sofa. The cabin has the cabiniest vibe there is. Everything is black bears, canoes, fishing, and elk--down to the toothbrush cup and toilet paper holder. He pats the cushion next to him. "C'mere."

I should change clothes but he looks awfully inviting so I go to him.

He points to a vintage cedar chest at the end of the sofa. "Grab a blanket?"

I hold up the wool blanket with pine trees lining the edges, questioning his taste. "Don't you think this place is overkill?"

"It's possible I didn't have the heart to tell my designer that she didn't understand the assignment."

"It's not terrible..."

"Yes, it is."

I spread the blanket out over Jay while he scoots back and makes room for me. Once I'm in, he kisses my shoulder and the side of my face. It's very attentive, almost desperate.

"You should re-do the cabin," Jay says as he nibbles my neck.

"Re-do the cabin? Why?"

"'Cause you have good taste."

"You just want me to come back."

"I do, but until then, I'd like to feel you when I'm here. I'd also like to not feel like there might be a dead carcass hanging in the garage."

I laugh. I do a lot of things but interior decorating isn't really my go to. I can get by in a pinch, but that's about it. "We'll see."

"You could do a whole series out of it. I'm sure people would love to see you invade my space."

I reach between us and grab his crotch. "You know I love invading your space, but that kind of thing is for OnlyFans."

"That's not funny." Jay scowls. "Do you really have an OnlyFans?"

I shake my head. "I don't have an OnlyFans you idiot. I have an OnlyJay's and it's a one user platform."

That makes him smile. His hand slides down back and he grips my ass. "Does the user get live shows?"

Not a fan of fucking on leather, I get up and strip my clothes off as I saunter to his bedroom. "I guess there's only one way to find out..."

****

I'll give it to the decorator, she has great taste in beds. The mattress, the sheets, the comforter--it's what I imagine sleeping in heaven is like. That and the blowjobs. Even after we're dressed in workout gear and waiting for his brothers, Jay is all over me. "We should workout naked."

"Yeah--" I laugh. "I don't think your brothers would appreciate that."

"Not this morning, just...sometime. You're so hot when you work out." He runs his fingers down my bicep. "Your arms turn me on. Did you know that?"

"My arms?"

"Among every other inch of your body. But yeah, every time we work out, I'm fighting a boner. I didn't know I was so into muscle bottoms."

I toss my head back and laugh. "Muscle bottoms?"

"Yeah," he says absently. He's too busy kissing my neck and running his hands over my body, down to my butt. "You have a thicc ass, too."

I'm about to tell him he needs to cool down because his brothers will be here any minute, but then the door opens and Taylor, once again, announces their arrival. He notices us and smiles. Then he notices Jay on his knees in front of me and his face twists. "Oh c'mon! Be gentlemen. We brought the ladies with us."

His brother's presence doesn't deter Jay much, but knowing Danielle and Niki are two seconds behind them is like a bucket of cold water. I lean forward and whisper, "Later tonight you can do whatever you want to this thicc ass. How does that sound?"

"Like a long day," he groans.

"Do we want to know what you guys are whispering about?" Derek asks.

"Why are you still on the floor, Jay? Are you afraid to face us like a man?"

Jay gets up from his knees and adjusts the bulge in his pants, but deliberately avoids facing anyone directly as we all head to the gym.

****

Jay's right, it's a long day.

The workout is awesome. I don't hate spending time with Jay's brothers and their fiancées are a definite bonus. Brunch is good. Donna has me cooking alongside her. I don't think I'm teaching her anything new. She's been cooking for this crew since before I was born, but she seems genuinely interested in bonding.

Then we head to town. Waukesha is beautiful. Lots of history of which Jay's parents are excited to share with us in great detail. Eventually, Jay convinces them to head to a favorite winery of theirs. The Petermeyers must have some serious small town clout because the eight of us are seated in a secluded room that overlooks the vineyard in less than five minutes while others wait in jackets outside.

The sommelier does a selection of Pacific Northwest inspired wines on behalf of Jay, throwing him eye flutters and extra pours. By the time he's done showing off for Jay, we're all drunk.

Instead of heading out, Mr. Sommelier sits next to Jay, who's sitting next to Niki and Danielle. Derek, Taylor, and I sit on the other side of the rustic banquet table, laughing as Jay pleads silently with his eyes for us to come save him.

Derek waves with his fingers then moves his chair, deliberately puts Jay to his back. He looks at me and frowns. "We're sad to see you go tomorrow. You should stick around longer."

"Yeah, train with us," Taylor begs.

"I'm pretty familied out. No offense to you guys, you're awesome."

Taylor sighs in disappointment. "You have nothing to be sorry about. We should be sorry, about the other night, we didn't mean to complicate things for your job or between you and Jay."

I wave them off. It's really not that big of a deal. "Jay may have overreacted. I actually expected the weekend to go worse. Staying up for a few hours fielding annoying messages is part of my everyday life. I'm just glad your parents don't hate me. I came here thinking they wanted to bury me under their deck."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Derek says dramatically. His face is flushed and his eyes aren't totally focused. "You're marrying the King and you'll be treated as such."

"I'm not marrying anyone--"

"You're with Jay and the parents have been shitting themselves over it. They know you're different. If they want Jay, they have to go through you. That much is crystal clear."

"What? I don't want that."

Taylor looks sympathetic. "It's not your fault, it's just family bullshit, you know? Jay is and always has been the golden child. He's the best and the smartest out of the three of us."

"And the best football player," Derek adds. "Which has always been sooo important."

"Oh yes," Taylor nods. "The very best. Has the better contract, the better agent, the better endorsements, blah blah blah," Taylor says. He rolls his eyes and uses his hand to mimic talk, talk, talk.

"I know I'm not the best NFL player, but I was good enough to get drafted and I'm good enough to keep playing. Too bad they can't see that."

"Mom has never asked Niki or Danielle to help in the kitchen."

"Of course not. They're not engaged to Jay--"

I want to remind them Jay's not engaged, but there's no point. This isn't about me.

Derek seems to realize they've gone on a bit of an alcohol induced tangent. "Sorry, it's just frustrating, you know? We love Jay. He's seriously the best, but it's hard to live in his shadow. No matter what we do or where we go..."

Taylor takes another drink of wine. "We can't even be mad at him about it because he doesn't even know. He doesn't realize life isn't easy for others like it is for him. No one tells Jay no. No one. Even as a gay player, he has it good. The other out players have not had his kind of acceptance."

"You got in with the good brother. Mom and Dad will do whatever it takes to make sure you're happy." Derek thinks about it for a second, then smirks. "I would like to be there when Mom finds out Jay's not moving back home."

"Moving back home?" I ask.

Taylor grips his brother's shoulder and laughs manically like he'd completely forgotten that factoid. "Oh yeah. There's always been talk of Jay moving back when his contract is up. Until now, there was nothing stopping him. I think that's why Mom's been so sweet on you, trying to butter you up to bring her baby back home."

Well, maybe they still want to bury me after all.

I across the table. Niki and Danielle are doing a pretty good job of sidelining the sommelier from trespassing, while Donna and Robert talk happily with their son.

"We don't mean anything by it," Taylor says. He looks a little more sober now. "We probably shouldn't say anything."

I watch Jay for another second then turn back to the brothers. "It's fine. I'm surprised, is all. Thought you guys were the perfect family."

"Not perfect, well--" Derek winks. "Except Jay,"

"Honestly, we're a good family. But even good families aren't perfect families. We love our parents and we love our brother. It's just that sometimes we want to strangle them."

"For what it's worth, we're so stoked you and Jay are together. We've never seen him this happy and you've made this weekend so much fun."

Taylor smiles, a little of the stress he wore a minute ago, evaporating. "Totally. You're rad." Then he jolts, like he just remembered something very important. "I follow this chick on Instagram and one day she posted screenshots of some of the stuff people send her in DM's. I bet you have crazy DM's."

I throw my head back and laugh. If he only knew. "Yeah, you can say that."

His face lights up like the State Fair at night. "Tell us everything."

"So many DM's about my feet. People want feet pics and feet vids so bad."

Taylor leans forward with rapt attention. "Really?"

"Every day."

"What else?"

Instead of trying to remember, I pull out my phone and show them.

SIT ON MY FACE AND SUFFOCATE ME

I want you to hit my insides another way...LMAO...but actually

Let me worship your feet

I want to hold your ass not your hands

I had a dream about you last night and it wasn't a dry one

I want to lick you from your head to your toe after a sweaty workout. Let me worship your armpits I'll lick them clean for you.

"This is just what's at the top of my DMs."

"Has Jay ever read those?"

"I've shown him lots."

"We've even role-played a bunch of them," Jay says as he squeezes a chair into our little circle.

"We've not done that."

"Of course we have."

I look at his brothers and shake my head. "He's lying."

"C'mon. Remember that one time..." Jay winks, as if I will suddenly recall something that never happened. He's so full of shit.

I narrow my eyes. "You know what we're about to role play? You never having sex again."

His brothers cup their mouths and OooOOOoo at the wicked burn. Then Taylor proudly punches his brother in the shoulder. "That's some kinky stuff right there."

Jay shrugs his shoulders as if it's no big deal. I gape. "Excuse me, no. Nothing kinky happens between the sheets. Just regular, boring 'ol sex."

Derek and Taylor lose it. "Jay, I didn't realize you were so boring in bed."

Jay glares at me, see what you've done? He started it. I take a deep, exaggerated, okay-let-me-explain kind of breath. "Jay's not boring. I just meant that the sex isn't kinky or anything. Just some good vanilla stuff."

His brothers laugh harder. Jay glares harder. I'm not helping anything. Which is my intention.

"We have kinky sex," Jay defends. "Tell them."

"I've had a lot of kinky sex before, and we don't have kinky sex."

Jay's mouth drops open. His brother's mouths drop open. Danielle's and Niki's mouths drop open.

Jay leans forward, not wanting to attract attention from his parents, who are busy settling the bill. "Sometimes we do it rough and, what about that time I came back from training camp and you were--" you know...

"Where I was wearing nothing but a jock and your jersey? I mean, it was hot, but not that kinky."

Jay throws his hands in the air.

"I take it you know a lot about kinky sex?" Taylor asks, eyeing his oldest brother carefully and with much humor.

"Oh god yeah. Pretty much my entire sexual life until Jay was full of guys who had crazy expectations. I did all sorts of things to keep up appearances. Probably anything you can think of, I've done it."

Jay crosses his arms like a petulant child. "I can be kinky."

"You'll call me Daddy when we get back to the cabin? Oh Daddy. Give it to me, Daddy.'" Wrong suggestion. All the wine Jay drank looks like it might come back up, same with his brothers. They're all a little pale. I laugh. "I take that as a no."

Jay shakes his head.

On cue, Robert steps up behind Jay and puts his hands on Jay's shoulders. "Do you guys want dessert before we finalize the tab?"

"A round of vanilla ice cream?" Taylor says but he can't even get through the suggestion without falling out of his chair in laughter. Derek collapses on top of him, the both of them laughing hysterically. They've clearly recovered from their moment of queasiness.

Jay grabs my hand and drags me out of my chair, towards the exit, shouting, "We have to go. See you at brunch tomorrow!" He takes me to the parking lot and loads me into a waiting car. The ride home is quiet. He does not find my amusement amusing.

Once we're back at the cabin, he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist. As he takes me to the master suite, he whispers, "If you want me to call you Daddy, I will."

I smile at the giant goon. "I don't want that at all."

"But you said--"

"I was fucking joking. Damn, Jay."

"You don't think I'm kinky."

"So?"

"And you've been with a million other guys and done all sorts of kinky stuff."

"A million is a lofty number."

He sets me down and levels me with a very unamused look.

I sigh. Clueless Jay. With a shake of my head, because he can be such an idiot, I lift his shirt over his head and push his pants down. Once naked, I walk backwards to the bed, pulling him like a puppy on a leash.

"Imagine getting your first bowl of ice cream when you're fifteen. Nothing fancy, just plain vanilla. So good, so satisfying. You invite people to share your ice cream. They bring toppings. You start small, some sprinkles here, chocolate shavings there. The more people you invite over, the more toppings they bring. Each new person trying to outdo the last. Before long you can't even taste the ice cream because it's hidden under a mess of whip cream, syrup--"

Jay rolls his eyes. "I get it."

"Do you? Because I just want some fucking vanilla ice cream, you know? I didn't know how bad I wanted it until I met you. What we do wouldn't make great porn, but fuck if it's not the best sex of my life. I don't have to think about it. I don't have to pretend or perform. For the first time in a long time, I get to fucking enjoy it. I get to lie on my back or on my stomach and bask in the intimacy of sex. There's no pressure. If I tell you to fuck me harder, it's because I want it, not because I think it's what you want to hear."

"Yeah?" Jay hardens against my hip as he presses me into the mattress. "What else?"

"The way you turn me on. It's not about a pretty face, a hot body, or knowing I'm getting laid. The arousal I feel because of you runs straight to here--" I say, sliding my hand up his chest before resting over his heart. It's corny, but true, and Jay is eating it up.

His lips ghost against mine. "You rarely want to fuck me."

"I always want to fuck you," I correct. "But I spent so many years fucking so many guys that--"

Jay growls and spreads my legs, hiking them up so he's where he wants to be. It's possessive and, honestly, really fucking hot.

"Do you want me to fuck you like I fucked them?" I ask.

He grabs my wrists and stretches them above my head, pinning me. He shakes his head.

"No one ever got me on my back and between my legs like you do," I tell him. "No one."

Jay looks thoughtful. "Maybe vanilla is the new kinky?"

"Vanilla is the best kinky."

****

Donna watches with sympathy as we enter the living room. "You guys look marginally better than the others."

If only she knew. Jay kept me up most of the night, feeding me the best array of vanilla I ever had. French vanilla, vanilla bean, slow churned vanilla, upside down vanilla, ass in the air vanilla.

Jay nudges me. His face is flushed and a smile pulls at his lips.

We weren't the only ones who had a long night. Taylor and Niki are curled up on one sofa, while Derek and Danielle are on the other. ESPN is playing in the background. No one looks particularly happy to be alive.

Jay takes my hand and tries to lead me to the last available spot before his mom cuts in. "Loren, you'll help me with lunch?"

"Oh...only if Danielle and Niki help too."