Jazz Man

"Hey, dude! How you been?"

"Fine! Do you need some help?" Shawn asked.

Kyle's sax case was beside him, and he was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

"That would be great. Can you get the sax again for me, please?"

"Uh-huh!"

He let Shawn pick up the instrument, turn around, and move away before taking a step, and as that was happening, he saw Kim who smiled at him.

She moved closer, closed the door, then said, "Hi."

Kyle stood there and looked at her then said, "I don't know how it's possible, but you look even nicer than you did the last time I was here."

Kim not only smiled, she had another flutter and thanked him.

"These are you for you."

Kyle held out the roses, and Kim didn't just flutter, she shuddered. No man had bought flowers for her other than a corsage for prom. Back when she was dating a 'younger man'.

"Oh, my goodness! These are gorgeous!" Kim said as she smelled the bouquet.

"Yes, you are," Kyle said, drawing a little 'come on now' look from Kim along with another beautiful smile.

"We're having spaghetti!" Shawn said as soon as he had a chance to speak. "With meatballs!"

"Nice!" Kyle said back. "And it smells like garlic bread."

"I love garlic bread!" Shawn informed him. "And meatballs!"

"Me, too, buddy. Me, too."

"Doesn't my mom look pretty?" Shawn said, that silly little smile on his face that said he knew he was going to be in trouble.

She turned around immediately and gave him her own look just as Kyle said, "You can say that again."

Shawn did say it again, and his mother pretended to be overwhelmed.

"I don't know about you two," Kim said as she had before as she turned back around as she began trimming stems.

"What? Can't we compliment our favorite girl?" Kyle said as he walked up beside her and set the bottle on the counter.

"Yeah, Mom. We both think you're pretty!"

Kyle leaned her way, put his cheek next to hers then quietly said, "Yeah, Mom. We do."

Kim's body didn't shudder and her tummy didn't flutter, but something else happened for the first time in ages. She felt a growing...wetness in a place that ached for something it hadn't had...in ages.

Suddenly, Kyle's...age...didn't seem quite as big an obstacle as it had since he let her know he was interested in her.

"Well, I guess if the two most handsome men I know think that's true, then I suppose I should tell them both 'thank you'."

Shawn was smiling and watching the adults as his mom turned toward Kyle and smiled.

"You do look amazing," he told her, causing the wetness and its intendant warmth to radiate out to other parts of her body.

"Thank you," she replied very sweetly before finishing the last stem as the timer went off. "Dinner is ready. Could you get the bread out the oven while I rinse off the pasta?"

"I can," Kyle told her as he again leaned her way and said it from an inch away from her ear.

"Thank you," Kim whispered.

"You're welcome," Kyle whispered back as Kim's body trembled and her knees felt weak.

Just seconds after sitting down, the conversation started, and her anxiety ebbed. Within minutes, Kim felt like this was the most normal thing she'd ever done. Just her, her son, and Kyle Roberts, the Jazz Man, who seemed to belong there with them.

Over the course of dinner she learned more about him than she had since they'd met. He was hesitant to talk about himself, but she got him to tell her about his childhood, the death of his father, going to college, dropping out, his mother's passing, and how and why he'd joined the Army and the full story as to how he went from the infantry to the band, his return to college, and what he was majoring in.

Kim told him how sorry he was about both parents then asked, "So what do you think you'll do when you graduate?"

"Thank you. Well, I've thought a lot about going back in the Army," he told her as he watched her reaction.

"I think service is a very noble profession," Kim said, pleasantly surprising him.

"But?"

"No buts. I think that's great if it's what you want to do. Would you be in the band again?"

Kim had very little understanding of the military, so Kyle explained what he meant.

"No. Well, yes. Were they to allow me to re-enlist, I'd be back in the band. But I have no intention of doing that."

"I don't understand," Kim said as she tried to make sense of what he was telling her.

"I loved being an enlisted soldier, but if I go back in, I'll do so as a commissioned officer."

"That's higher up, right?" she asked, feeling silly for not knowing.

He thought about making a joke about second lieutenants, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't understand it, so he answered truthfully.

"Yes. All jobs are important, and no one is any more important than anyone else. But in terms of the um...pecking order, if you will...yes, it's...higher."

"So you'd get a lot of money?" Shawn asked.

His mom gave him a look that made him ask, "What's wrong with that?"

"It's okay," Kyle said as he looked at Kim.

"I'll never be rich if I stay in the military, but money isn't my goal. But to answer your question, yes, I'd make a lot more than I was, but I'd be doing it because I still have this...this need...to do something for the greater good."

"Well, I think that's very admirable," Kim told him, the tone of her voice somehow different.

Kyle could see something had changed in her demeanor but didn't mention it until he and Shawn had finished practicing and playing, and the boy went to bed.

He and Kim had a second glass of wine as they sat down on the couch together, and after touching glasses, Kyle asked her if everything was okay.

"Yes. Fine. Why do you ask?"

"I got the sense—the very strong sense—that something about me possibly going back into the Army didn't set well with you. Am I wrong?"

Kim took a small sip then, for the first time, said what was really on her mind without any interference from Persons 1 or 2.

"I know this is going to sound...ridiculous...but after telling myself over and over there's no way I'd ever...date...a man your age, I think I was maybe a little disappointed to think you might leave Charlotte again."

Normally, Kyle would have gotten flirty and said something like, "Oh. So you DO like me, huh?"

But as he watched Kim while she spoke, he could tell that she did. Or at least that she wanted to like him.

"You do know the military moves entire families when the service member moves, right?" he said in a quiet tone of voice.

Kyle was right. She had been disappointed. She admitted that she did like him, but for some reason it didn't occur to her that she and her son could move with him. That didn't occur to her because she hadn't even thought about things going that far. But when he told her about returning to the Army, the first thing that came to mind was him leaving and her staying. With Shawn. Alone.

But when he told her that families moved together, she had another flutter as her heart beat faster again.

"So what are you saying, Kyle?" she asked, too afraid to even look at him as she took a second small sip.

He reached over and ran his index finger down the length of her hair then said, "I'm saying that you don't need to let that be something to be afraid of. Unless, of course, you already know you'd never leave Charlotte. For any reason."

Kyle smiled then said, "Well. Pineville."

Kim finally smiled, too, and she even turned to look at him.

"I have been up and down and back and forth about this, about...us...for days."

Kyle didn't say anything knowing she wasn't finished.

"It wasn't until tonight that I realized that I...that I really do like you."

She looked away for a moment then turned back toward him.

"I have all these thoughts swirling around in my mind, you know? Like...how old you are."

She smiled again then said, "Or...aren't."

Kyle smiled back then held out his hand hoping she might take it. Kim looked at it, then set the glass down and gave hers to him.

"Or how old I really am. And then there's Shawn. And my parents live here. And..."

Kim looked down again briefly then looked at Kyle and said, "And then there's me. And how much I want to fall in love again and be loved and for Shawn to have someone who loves him, too."

Kyle slowly slid closer and watched to see how Kim would react. She didn't move away or pull back, and she didn't let go of his hand.

"I'll love you like that, Kim," Kyle quietly told her after she turned to look at him.

She was staring at him now, and maybe even more than that as she looked into his eyes to see any sign of dishonesty or deceit. She knew she was gun shy, but she still believed in love, and if Kyle was lying, he was incredibly good at it.

"And I would love Shawn like my own."

Kim finally blinked then said, "I...I believe you, but...you...you barely know me."

"True. But I...I have this feeling. I can't really explain it, but it keeps telling me..."

He squeezed her hand, smiled a kind smile, then said, "That you're the one."

Kim wanted him to kiss her so badly it hurt, but her rational mind was still in control, and while it was, it was going to speak for her.

"Kyle, I'm...I'm going to be...40 years old," she said as though she were apologizing.

"Did you not hear me say I dated someone 14 years older than me before?"

Kim had heard him say that, but she'd forgotten about it because this was...her...and not some abstract other woman.

"I did," she told him quietly.

"So you have to know that doesn't matter to me."

He reached out and gently touched her face then said, "You...matter to me. And Shawn matters to me. But your age doesn't."

Again, Kim heard every word, and in its last gasp to stay in control, her rational mind said, "So you're...25?"

"For a couple more months," Kyle told her as he tried not to smile.

She saw the corners of his mouth, and when she did, she smiled, too.

"Wow. I'm...I'm falling for a man who's..."

"Crazy about you?" Kyle said, finishing her sentence before moving closer and closer until his lips met hers.

Kim kissed him back, tentatively at first. One soft, gentle kiss. But when he kissed her a second time, her rational brain said, "I give up," and when it did, Kim put her arms around him and she gave in.

"Please don't hurt me. Or my son," she told him during a brief moment between kisses.

"Never," Kyle replied, looking into her eyes until she was sure.

"Okay," Kim whispered before pulling him down on top of her as tongues swirled and flicked causing Kim to moan softy with desire.

Just before she said, "Shawn's still awake," Kyle said, "I know Shawn's here, so please don't think I'm going to try and go too far, okay?"

Kim looked at Kyle and wondered if he could somehow read her mind. Relieved, she smiled then said, "Okay," again before taking his hand and putting it on her breast and saying, "but we can go a little farther if you'd like."

It went no further than second base, but by the time Kyle left just before midnight, Kim found herself wondering how her life could have changed so dramatically in such a short period of time. Especially considering that the reason for the change was a 25-year old man she'd only recently met.

And yet it had, and while she knew she could get hurt again, she realized she wanted this more than anything she'd ever wanted, and if she did end up getting hurt, then so be it. For now, the possibility of falling in love with someone like Kyle Roberts...no, with Kyle Roberts...was more important to her than protecting her feelings.

That night, for the first time in so long she couldn't remember, Kim's hands went somewhere they hadn't been in a very long time. And there was one little area in particular that was the focus of all her attention as she lay there alone dreaming about what might come next as her body shuddered so hard it scared her.

Less than two minutes later, she was asleep so soundly she was still out when Shawn came in at 9am the next morning to make sure she was okay.

"I'm fine, honey," she told him with a sleepy little smile.

"Are you too big to lay down by me?" she asked her son.

He gave her a look that told her he wasn't quite sure, but after a second or two he said, "I guess not," then crawled over her and lay beside her on top of the sheets while she lay under them.

"Shawn?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Do you really like Kyle?"

"Well, yeah. He's...awesome."

His mom turned his way then smiled as she kind of ran her fingers through her son's hair.

"How would you feel if...he and I...you know, if we were...dating?"

Shawn sat up so fast it scared her, but when he kept going and did a happy dance on the bed, she knew everything was okay.

"So is that a 'yes'?" she asked with a little laugh.

Just like when he was small, Shawn went up, threw his legs out, and fell down on his bottom. But being 11, the bed bounced a whole lot more than it had the last time he'd done that several years before. The action caused an equal and opposite reaction in which Kim nearly rose off the mattress before laughing even harder.

Shawn laughed, too, then, without answering his mom's question, he put his arms around his mom and said, "I love you, Mom."

She put a hand behind his head and held him close and told him she loved him, too, as she fought back tears borne of happiness. And as she held her son close she wondered if maybe, just maybe, she'd finally found true love. With someone so unlikely it scared her.

Whatever small amount of fear Kim was feeling vanished as she and Kyle spent several hours together on Saturday and then again on Sunday. Part of that time was devoted to helping Shawn who was improving rapidly, and Kim found herself taking a greater interest in his music even though she knew it was largely due to who her son's teacher was than the music itself.

As she sat and watched her two guys interact it reminded her of how it felt to be in love. All that mattered was being near that special someone, not what he was doing. She smiled when she later realized she loved just watching Kyle study, something he did on both of those days for at least an hour or so. Even more pleasant was hearing him tell her how difficult it was to concentrate with her so near by.

But best of all was the time they had together once Shawn went to bed. It was the simple things like handholding or just laying her head on his shoulder as they watched a DVD together. Then again, the kissing was pretty amazing, and even though they still hadn't gone beyond second base, the anticipation and the tension building between them was delicious.

After another week much like the one before it, Kim felt like she was continually drugged. It was such a pleasant high that she began wondering if her rational mind really was in control or if this was more having had some deep, emotional need being met after what felt like years of neglect.

She'd told her mother, who was also her closest friend, that she'd met someone, but she neglected mentioning this 'someone' was much younger than her. Her mom was thrilled to know her daughter was finally dating again, and she asked Kim to bring him to dinner one evening, but so far, at least, that hadn't happened.

Kim stared at her phone for quite some time trying to decide if she should call her mom or just work through these new feelings on her own. But if she really was 'drunk on love' Kim knew she wouldn't be capable of objectivity. But calling to talk about Kyle meant coming clean about who he was, and that only made dialing her number that much harder.

But her need for wise counsel from the person she trusted the most overrode her fears, and seconds later, her mother answered.

"Kimmy? Hi," her mother, Margie Peterson, said when she saw her daughter's name.

"Mom. Hey. Are you busy?"

"No. Not busy at all. What's going on?"

"I...I need some advice."

"Oh. About...a man maybe?" her mother said, a hint of teasing in her voice.

"Well...yes."

"Okay. I'm listening."

Kim did her best to explain how things were going, how much Shawn looked up to this new man in her life, whose name was Kyle, and the way he made her feel.

"But?" her mom asked after Kim set the stage.

"I guess I'm wondering if what I'm feeling is real or if I'm just...floating on a cloud."

Her mom laughed politely then said, "Honey. That's how love makes us feel. If you didn't feel that way I'd tell you to run like crazy."

There were a few seconds of silence before Kim said, "What if he's...wrong for me?"

"Wrong? Wrong how?"

"You know. Wrong," Kim said as though that cleared things up.

"Kim? Are you seeing a married man?"

Stunned, it took Kim a few more seconds to reply.

"Mom, how could you even ask me that after what Shawn's father did to me?"

Kim could barely even say his name anymore, and her mom felt terrible for asking.

"I'm sorry, Kimmy. That wasn't fair. I just couldn't think of anything else that would be a huge concern. Unless he's...gay."

"What? Mom! No. He's definitely not gay!"

"Is he...controlling? Or angry? Or...a Scientologist?"

Kim laughed at the Scientology comment then said, "No. He's kind and gentle and...sweet. And very smart. And an Army veteran."

Her mom laughed then said, "I believe you've mentioned 'handsome' a time or two already, honey. In fact, I believe you described this Kyle as 'drop dead gorgeous'."

"He is gorgeous. And maybe that worries me, too. I mean, any woman from 18 to..."

Kim almost said '80' but nearly laughed when she did, used '58' as her upper limit as the women who would fall for him.

"Don't forget that you're a beautiful woman yourself, sweetheart."

Kim smiled then thanked her mom.

"It's true. So it makes sense you'd be dating men who are as attractive as you are."

There was another long pause before Margie said, "It's something else, isn't it?"

"Yes," Kim said very quietly.

"Is he...a bum? You know, the kind of man who hangs out at the beach making things out of driftwood while you work to support him?"

Kim turned her head and moved the phone away in order to laugh without hurting her mother's feelings.

"Mom? We don't have a beach in Charlotte."

"Okay. But you know what I mean, Kim."

"No. He's not lazy. He's gone back to college to finish his degree."

"Oh. So...does he have children?"

Kim started to answer when her mom said, "Oh, my. Is he...older? Maybe...a lot older?"

"No. He's definitely not older," Kim replied even more quietly.

"I give up, honey. Just say it, okay?"

Kim bit her lower lip then took a deep breath and said, "Just the opposite."

"Of?" her mom asked.

"He's...younger than me, Mom. Quite a bit younger."

"Oh. OH!" her mom replied. "Um...how much...younger?"

Kim bit her lip again then said what she'd avoided saying.

"Um...how about...14 years younger?" Kim said, turning it into a question.

Now the silence was on her mother's end.

"Oh, my. That's...a lot."

"I know! And yet I...I think I may be...falling in love with him."

"Didn't you meet him less than a month ago?"

"About that," Kim said as though she were apologizing for something or trying to justify it.

"Well, with...your ex...you dated for two years then had a yearlong engagement. And..."

"Yes. I was 26 which isn't...old...but it's not like I got married right out of high school."

"Don't feel bad, honey. I thought I knew him, too. I loved that boy like a son, and now all I want to do is wring his neck!"

Kim finally laughed again then got serious.

"What do I do, Mom?"

"Tell me something you don't like about him. About Kyle."

Kim thought for a few seconds then said, "Nothing. I can't think of a single thing."

"Is he...employed? Can he support you and your son?"

"He's in college. On the GI Bill. So no, he doesn't have a full-time job. But he seems to be leaning toward going back into the Army. As an officer."