All Comments on 'Jebidiah's Change Bk. 01 Ch. 12'

Great chapter. Lot of moving parts to the story line. Take care not to over complicate things and confuse your readers. You definitely need a character list so that your readers can reference it when needed. So many characters it is hard to remember each one.

There's a roster list, basically chapter zero of the series.

Did I miss the binding of Joy? In this chapter it sometimes seems that she is part of the bond or am I mistaken?

Chapter 10, right as the first goblin attack happens.

Re: Joy's bonding. I missed it too. Went back and reread that section, I'm guessing it occurred in the paragraph that starts "Camp was setup quickly" on page 2. Doesn't stand out like the other bonding events, where it is obvious that Jebidiah sees it developing and happening. Just a mention of a lust feedback loop for/with the already bonded ladies, which on my initial read through I took to be having had Jebidiah as its source. Satisfactory conclusion for the ladies, coitus interruptus for Jebidiah, off to fight goblins we go. Joy being mentioned as one of the bonded later in the chapter I just took as a typo.

Joy's binding was a little muted, since it got interrupted. I liked the scene but it was kind of easy to mix.

Still enjoying this! Battles a little hard to follow, definitely curious about the mad cackling mage, lul.