All Comments on 'Jen's First Time'

I really enjoyed this, so intense!

But the line "filling her with his hot seed" seems unlikely, since he was wearing a condom.

Definitely one of the better stories of this type, especially if it is your first effort. I can imagine each aspect (massage / older guy / boyfriend's brother) actually happening.

Some suggestions though. I don't know how you check your work, but there were a couple of spelling mistakes that stood out. In an erotic story there is really no excuse for wonton (wanton) and coming (cumming). Perhaps an over reliance on spell checker? There were also a couple of continuity issues, the most notable being "... deftly slipping a condom on." then "... filling her with his hot seed." Sometimes a re-read a few days after finishing writing or having an editor check it over can be advantageous.