Jerri Jaye 01

Jerri Jaye 01

"Good morning, Jerri Jaye (mwah)."

[Cheek kiss]

"Sorry about all of the hoopla with the girls last night roomie, but that was the absolute best episode of "The Real Divorcee's of Middleton" ever!"

[Cheek kiss because Jerri Jaye is a sucker]

"Well, Andi, if you, Vicki and Janet would have paid closer attention to the clues for their season finale contest, I mean, that bleach blonde husband stealing bimbo Barbie Bangs, is clearly buried under the north end of the power lines, so."

"Huh? Wait a minute, that's a $10K prize and they pay out even if you only find a loc of her bleached blonde hair just as long as the DNA tests line up!"

Well, it was clear to me that each clue, written or spoken, took you right to the only huge power line tower that has a green base, so. And I learned from a TV show once that if you want to bury a treasure or a body, you have to pick a place that will never be torn down or rebuilt or messed with in any fashion.

"Anyways, I'm having Trevor as an overnight guest tonight, so?"

[Sucker kiss, I mean, cheek kiss]

"Will BLTs be fine? I'll side order Southern Fries from the Pizza Shop."

"Perfect, but listen, I mean, your old crew were power line people, right Jerri Jaye?"

"Whisper me a secret and maybe I'll call one of the old crew to see if there are any fresh dirt mounds then."

"(Vicki wants to try a butt plug.)"

Well, anyways, hi folks, I'm Jerri Jaye and I don't want to spill any secrets of my own, but Vicki's secret isn't all that much of a secret because she also whispered that same secret to me just a few days before, so. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm the "confidant" of the house, but I sure do get to hear a lot of secrets, so.

Anyways, this is actually not the beginning of my crossdressing story, but things were just a little freaky back then and it still freaks me out a little, so I'm starting about a year afterwards. Which is really a great place for me to start because it actually takes a while to get the right appearance, the voice, the attitude, the makeup and the hair down pat, right?

Um, I like my body and you may or may not like my body, so you can check that for yourself from my Chang homepage and just so you know, the comments are only turned on while I have my own page live on one of my devices and that's because I'm afraid of negative comments, but seriously, I mean, if you want something nasty and mean, just go online, right? I mean, even a cute new born bunny doesn't stand a chance.

Why we live in such times is beyond me, but here we are, so if you want to leave comment on my page, just look for that little flashing green dot.

Other than that, I like all people and I will engage with women or men as the moment dictates. I mean, most women are a little taken back with the way I live my life, but there are those who accept me and befriend me and that basically goes the same for guys. I think. I mean, sort of. I mean, I've been poked, groped, bumped, humped, and twenty other similar words, but I have never been kissed and I can sleep diagonal in my bed every night. I mean, maybe that's not something to boast about, but that's the way it is.

And I don't know why I've never been kissed! I mean, I'm small and small is adorable, right?

But enough about all that. I had to get up to the Deli for BLT sandwich stuff and then make a few calls to my old power lines crew so my roomie could solve the mystery of where that bleach blonde husband stealing bimbo Barbie Bangs might be found.

"All I know, Jerri Jaye, is that your roomie must be running out of fingers to wrap you around. There you go, your body weight in bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese and mayo, so."

"Thanks Beatrice. I mean, I called your daughter, Gina, earlier today, so?"

"Oh, I know, Gina called me and said that you asked her to be ready for some secret project. I mean, you could switch back and make an honest woman out of her as a secret project, Jerri Jaye!"

Huh! Gina and the word honest in the same sentence then? Huh! I mean, Gina and woman definitely belong in the same sentence, but by adding honest, well, not just yet anyways.

"Well, I'll tell you what, Beatrice, I promise that the day I switch back that Gina will be there to cut the yellow ribbon with her boot blade, but for now, I just need her to be my Gina Carolina Jones, Adventurer at large."

See? That's how you leave them with a confused look on their face without me being what they are confused about! Also, LOL, right after that, I updated my contact list to identify clearly identify Gina as Gina Carolina Jones and claimed any movie rights online, so.

Anyways, the Deli usually has everything thing that one needs for a dual Friday night dinner, so it was a one stop shopping event before the roomie's boyfriend, Trevor showed up.

[Knock, knock]

"Jerri Jaye, will you get the door while I just finish up with my hair? And don't go all "Jerri Jaye" on me later either."

I mean, what? Me? Go all me? What?

"Hey Trevor, oh, OMG, um, hello Mickey, I mean, come on in and SOB, I would have picked up more Raspberry Vodka if someone had told me that you were joining us for dinner, I mean, Trevor, um, your girlfriend is fooling with her hair in her bedroom and all and geez, I mean, if someone would have said something, I mean."

[Up pops a brown bag with a bottle of Raspberry Vodka in it]

"Oh, well then, so, um, Andi! I mean, Andi!"

"Handle things, Jerri Jaye!"

"I mean, I have some tomatoes to slice and lettuce to spread, Mickey, so."

[Up pops a pocket blade. Wait, what?]

See? I told you that I would grab the arm of the right guy and sometimes guy's need directions to the kitchen to help with the slicing of tomatoes, so.

"OK, I mean, whew, um, here, um, you're mincing the tomatoes, Mickey, so let me do that and you take over with the washing of the lettuce and I don't know why you were so hesitant with me three weeks ago and SOB, it's hot in the kitchen and all that's on the stove is the bacon and um."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ag, uhm, woo, mwah]

"And I haven't even started to toast the sliced bread and."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ga, uhm, woo, mwah]

"And I think Trevor likes his BLT bread lightly toasted and."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ga, uhm, woo, mwah]

"And, I would have worn something different if I had known that you were coming, Mickey and."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ga, uhm, woo, mwah]

"And I still have time to change if you will flip the bacon."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ga, uhm, woo, mwah]

"And you know that I've never been flipped before and."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, ummah, ag, ga, uhm, woo, mwah]

Well, that "never been kissed" thing was off of the bucket list then. And so was my lip gloss.

"Alright you two, that was (not) fun to watch, but that's enough!"

"I mean, roomie, I'm just flipping the bacon, flipping the bacon, flipping the bacon."

I mean, do guys just grab a beer and walk out of the kitchen like that? Smiling? Or maybe grinning?

"I mean, a few others are popping over too, so go fix your lip gloss, which means go put some more gloss on because it's all gone (and I laid out your other shorts for you earlier, dumbass). Ooh, bacon grease splatter, so, I mean, hurry it up, Jerri Jaye."

Alright, that was my bad that I didn't see that a few others were coming over given that Andi's friends are always hungry. I mean, my clue should have been when Beatrice mentioned that my Deli order was the same as my body weight, but I thought she was just being nice.

But it wasn't that bad either. I mean, Vicki is over all the time anyways and her boyfriend Ron is always hungry and Janet and her boyfriend Denny showed up and I'm happy to feed the hungry. Plus, I mean, I was serious about having my body weight in bacon.

Also, in case I didn't mention earlier, I have been kissed, so. And I had a plan to change into my softer leisure shorts.

"Alright, I mean, I did my part, so Andi and Vicki are in charge of putting the BLTs together and um, Mickey, Janet may need your help with the diagonal cutting the sandwiches and I mean, um, still sleep diagonal in my bed, so."

I mean, pause the story for the eating, right? I mean, go mix yourself a cocktail folks and then come on back.

[Munch, munch, crunch, crunch, gulp, gulp, munch, crunch, oops, crunch, munch, gulp]

Also, huh, people really do like their bacon, right?

[Munch, munch, crunch, crunch, gulp, gulp, munch, crunch, oops, crunch, munch, gulp]

And no one ever said that the dinner event would last all night, so.

"I mean, yummy as usual, Jerri Jaye, so can I use my boobs to get you to make Denny and I care package of BLT stuff "to go" then?"

"Janet, I mean, yeah, of course, I mean, your boobs have a habit of entering the house about 30 seconds before the rest of you does, so."

"I mean, I just want you to know that Mickey wasn't play "handsy" with me earlier when he was slicing the sandwiches with me, so. But I mean, I should probably send Mickey into the kitchen behind me, right Jerri Jaye?"

"Well, I can't sort out the bacon, the tomato slices, the lettuce, the sliced bread and close the all of the individual baggies too, so."

[Cheek kiss]

"LOL, I really need to get me a funny little queer like you (mwah). Andi is so lucky to have you."

I mean, you just read how many "to go" baggies there would be, right? Like four and that's per couple, so.

"Huh, my "to go" bag feels heavier, Jerri Jaye, so?"

"(You wanted a plug and now you have a medium plug. Bejeweled in red)."

[Cheek kiss]

"LOL, I really need to get me a funny little queer like you (mwah). Andi is so lucky to have you."

Well, it was shiny and glistening in red in the clothing store counter, so.

"Ooh, after dinner tea too! I mean, LOL, I really need to get me a funny little queer like you (mwah). Oh wait, I do have you, LOL, so snuggle up, Jerri Jaye."

Smartass roomie!

But here's how that went. We had a couch built for a shoulder touching four people for sure, but with the way Andi snuggled up to Trevor, um, there was plenty of room for Andi and I to snuggle up to Trevor and Mickey and um, well, I guess I had witnessed Andi "snuggling up" to Trevor many times, so I just copied that. Yeah, it was weird for sure, but it seemed to be, um, either "OK" or expected?????

So, I checked off "snuggling up" from my bucket list too!

Well, here's how that went just as soon as the weirdness wore off. Fricking Andi and Trevor just stood up and started to head to her bedroom!

"(Run the dishwasher when it's safe for Trevor to get his late-night drink in his boxers while scratching his ass, [mwah], nightie, night roomie.)"

I mean, having a secret roomie code was next on the bucket list, so.

Oh, so what happens when you're the last two snuggling up on the couch then?

"I mean, did you change your clothes earlier, Jerri Jaye?"

"Oh, well Mickey, while everyone was munching and crunching, I mean, these leisure shorts are just so much softer and all, so."

"I mean, am I spending the night with you tonight, Jerri Jaye?"

"Oh, um, I mean, is that code for fifteen minutes or one full hour then, Mickey?"

"Well, I mean, your undies can stay on for tonight, so?"

"So, fifteen minutes then, Mickey?"

I mean, listen, the community on Chang has gone to great lengths over the years to time this out carefully and they update the matrix on a regular basis, so, ooh, it seemed that a blow job was being removed from my bucket list, I guess (I mean, yeah, it came off of the list, but I have to say "I guess" anyways, right?). But I still sleep diagonal in my bed!

End Jerri Jaye 01