Jinx

"No problem," I told him. "I'll watch you until Andy gets back and is ready to take over. You're really enjoying getting to hang out with Andy, aren't you?"

"He's the best big brother."

"Yeah, yeah he is, isn't he?" I said, my thoughts wandering. Andy came out into the world a whole five minutes before I did, which technically made him MY big brother, too. And what I'd been seeing and feeling, under his spandex shorts the last day or so had me looking at the term, 'big brother' in a whole new light.

I'd been keeping an eye on Jason for about a half-hour, when Andy came out to join us. I'd guessed maybe he was avoiding me, again, but he stayed close to me and we chatted lazily as we took turns being spotters for Jason. The waves were not nearly so rough as the previous afternoon, so our lookout duty was much less tense. Mom and Dad came out, after a while, to give Andy and me a break. We swam out to deeper water, continuing our chat and generally taking it easy.

Eventually, Jason caught a wave big enough to carry him all the way to the beach. Mom and Dad, no doubt a bit tired from bobbing up and down in the surf, followed him in and conned him into building a sand castle. Andy and I stayed out in the water.

"Were you avoiding talking to me, Andy?"

"No way!" he shook his head. "Whatever gave you that idea, Annie? I'm enjoying being with you. I've really missed it over the past few years!"

"Me too," I said, unable to resist giving him another hug. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him in the water and my arms around his neck. "Happy Birthday," I whispered to him.

"You already told me that," he smiled.

"Yeah, just not with a proper, full body hug, like this, though," I said, as I squeezed him tight.

I was about to give him a big sloppy kiss on the mouth when he said, "Mom and Dad are waving us in."

My disappointment might have been clear, but I was trying to conceal it. "Okay, must be party time!" I exclaimed.

"Climb on my back, Sis!" he suggested.

"Why? What are we doing?" I asked.

"Gotta take that one last ride..." he sang - I think the line came from an old surf tune - and we stood there, me clinging to his back, while he turned sideways to check out the next set of incoming waves. He passed up two, but the third one was really building up to a high crest.

"This is it," he told me. "Hands on my shoulders, and leave my legs free. Just stretch out along my back."

I did as he said, and suddenly he turned toward the beach and pushed off with his feet. The wave caught us just right, and Andy held his body completely rigid (I still haven't figured out how he ever managed that!) and I rode him like a boogie board all the way to the shallows.

"Wow!" I exclaimed, as we tumbled in the knee-deep mix-up of incoming and outgoing water. "That was cool!"

"I'm glad to hear that," Andy chuckled. "For a moment, I thought I'd scared you."

"No way, Andy!" I laughed. "I trust you to never put me in a position where I could get hurt."

"So, if I invite you to try it again, from farther out, tomorrow?"

"You're on, big brother!" I nodded. "I'll go for a ride on you, anytime!"

He looked at me, his mouth moving wordlessly for a moment, blushed lightly, and smiled, his eyes expressing volumes. I didn't care whether he took that the right way or the naughty way. It didn't matter. I'd chosen my words so that, either way, he'd be correct.

We jogged across the beach to the cabana, helped pick up and pack up all our things, and then headed back to the hotel. I took the first shower, again at Andy's insistence. I guess that we'd both worked out our 'tension' that morning, because we both took much shorter showers, this time around. I dressed while Andy was in the shower, slipping into a pair of my nicest tan shorts and a pale blue blouse. As it turned out, Andy had also packed a pair of smart tan cargo shorts and a pale blue short-sleeved shirt, so we wound up actually dressed like twins for the first time since our high school graduation had us in the same color caps and gowns.

We met up with Mom, Dad, and Jason down in the lobby. They were all dressed as nicely as Andy and I were. Taking the elevator one more floor down, we piled into the minivan (with all the luggage now in Mom and Dad's room, there was plenty of room for the five of us) and headed for the restaurant.

It's a shame for me to say it, but my twenty-first birthday dinner was a blur, to me. I don't even remember what I ate. Oh, it was good; I do remember thinking that it was good, but it was like I wasn't completely there. All I could think about was Andy. I was in an Andy obsession spiral, trying to work through these feelings that I simply couldn't shake.

Towards the end of the meal Mom took notice. She felt my head like when I'd been small and asked me, "Are you okay sweetie?"

"I'm fine. I guess I'm feeling a little anticlimactic. Sorry, I know that sounded bad."

"I remember the feeling, dear," she chuckled, trying to lighten my mood. "Some birthdays are like that. I hope you're enjoying this beach vacation, though."

"Oh, I really am, and I really appreciate you and Dad doing this for us." I told her enthusiastically, coming out of my stupor. I'd love to do this every year. I love the beach. In fact, I'd like to live near a beach like this, someday."

I don't know where the conversation would have led, next, because - at that moment - the entire wait staff assembled at our table. Our server was carrying a small chocolate cake with 'Ann and Andy' written on it in white frosting. It also held two of those 'numeral' candles, a 2 and a 1. Placing it midway between Andy and me, on the table, he stepped back into line and the whole group launched into one of those clapping-type 'happy birthday' songs typical at many chain restaurants. When they'd finished their little performance, Andy and I blew out the candles together. The group cheered, offered us another 'happy birthday' wish in a cacophony of individual voices, and then returned to their regular duties.

The cake - I think it was called 'Death by Chocolate', or some such silly name - was a specialty menu item at the restaurant, and it really was divine. Mom swore she was gaining another pound with each and every forkful of her slice. Dad and Jason were simply happy to be eating such a rich chocolate cake, since chocolate was their favorite flavor, too. All in all, it hadn't been a bad birthday, even with my odd mood.

We finally loaded ourselves back into the minivan around 7:45. I hadn't realized, until then, that we'd been at the restaurant that long! Mom, Dad, and Jason chattered on and on about the restaurant and the meal, the entire drive back to our hotel. Of course, ten minutes wasn't really that long a time. We were lucky, and found a close-in parking spot at the hotel, and only had a short walk to the elevator. Even though I couldn't remember what I ate, I felt as stuffed as Mom and Dad complained they were feeling.

"Are you ready to pack it in, for the night, Andy?" I asked him, "or do you want to make a later night of it? I still owe you that beer, now that we're twenty-one."

"That sounds like a nice idea," he nodded. "I don't want to get drunk, but I'd like to have a couple beers, as a legitimate adult.

For the last three years, Andy had complained about being a second-class adult. At eighteen, we'd been old enough to get married and have kids without a permission slip from our parents, vote in an election, get a credit card, go off and fight in a war - any number of things - but we couldn't buy a simple beer! I pretty much agreed with him, but I really didn't want to hear the rant, at the moment.

"Is that okay with y'all," I asked Mom and Dad.

"I don't want y'all driving," Mom said, naturally concerned.

"We're planning on walking, Mom," I smiled. "After that meal, I think Andy and I could both use the exercise to work some of it off. There are several bars along the beach, within walking distance of the hotel. I don't think we will, but - if we get too far - we'll call a cab."

"They're adults, now, hon," Dad said, touching Mom lightly on her shoulder. "Gotta let 'em go, sometime, you know."

"Okay; you two be safe," Mom relented, more easily than I thought she would.

I'd hoped to get lucky and head off any argument, but I'd been prepared to play the, 'We're adults' card, if it had come down to that. Luckily, they had both loosened up over the years, and Dad had played the card for me. We waited until the elevator doors had closed on them, and then Andy and I were on our way.

We walked along the beach, since it would be safer and it was a beautiful night out. Andy took my hand, which kind of caught me by surprise. I'd felt like he'd been kind of avoiding me since the incident in the bathroom, and this sudden change in him felt really nice. His hand was strong but gentle, and its touch sent a tingle through me.

"This is a pretty nice night for our birthday," Andy said as we walked along. "This has been a great trip, so far. I'm really glad we came."

"Yeah, me too," I said, stopping to look at the nearly full moon coming up over the ocean. "It's so nice here. I wish we could live here," I said absently. Andy didn't reply, but stood beside me looking out at the waves crashing under the moonlight. He squeezed my hand and gave me a light kiss on my forehead.

"Let's see if we can find a quiet bar to buy that beer," he suggested, pulling me down the beach with him.

We passed up a few of the rowdier bars, and eventually found a cute little beachfront bistro where the atmosphere was a good bit more laid back. Andy pointed to a quiet table for two, off to one side of the room, and actually held my chair while I sat down. When I ordered Andy his first beer, the waitress double-checked our IDs.

"It's our birthday," I told her, giggling. "We're here for our first legal drink."

"Twins?" she asked, looking back and forth between Andy and me, and our driver's licenses, and I nodded a brief 'Yes'. "Well, Happy Birthday! You picked a nice place to come, for your first drink! I'll see if the bartender will let you have this first one on the house. Do you know what you'd like?"

I looked over at Andy. "Got any suggestions?" I asked.

"My college roomie suggested that I give Full Sail pale ale a try," he said.

I nodded to him in agreement, and turned to the waitress. "Do you carry that?"

"Yes, we do! That's an excellent choice, especially for a 'first drink'."

"Two, please, then," I told her.

"I'll be right back with your drinks," she nodded.

She walked away, stopping briefly at another table to take an order. Andy looked as though he wanted to say something but, even in this laid-back place, there was still just a little too much noise, and it was a little too crowded for us to have a private conversation. So we spent the next couple minutes looking around the bistro, seeing what we'd been missing for the last few years. Before long, our waitress returned with two tall frosted mugs filled with a light amber liquid.

"Two 'Full Sail' pale ales, on the house with the bartender's compliments," she smiled. "Once again, Happy Birthday. Where're y'all from?"

"Atlanta," Andy told her.

"Y'all down here for spring break?"

"Sort of," I answered. "Actually, it's a family vacation trip, along with celebrating our big birthday."

"Well, y'all have fun - and don't overdo things, just because y'all are legal, now, hear?"

She walked away, but came back a minute later with a basket of warm tortilla chips and a tray with a couple shallow bowls of salsa and one of guacamole.

"Yellow is mild, red is muy caliente," she smiled.

"Excuse me," I said. "I saw the chips and salsa listed on your menu as an appetizer, for five dollars. We didn't order that."

"Listen, hon," the waitress smiled. "You two just turned twenty-one, and you're here for your first drink. I don't know how many you plan on having, but I'm not letting you do your first drinking without a little 'blotting paper' to soak it up and keep you from getting drunk or sick. This one's on me. Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks," we both said, in unison.

I thought about it for an intolerable fraction of a second but, when Andy didn't say anything, I said, "Jinx!"

He stared at me and, even in the bistro's dim lighting, I could see theAre you serious? look he was giving me. He remained silent, but took a big swig of his ale. Then he mimed how yummy it was by rubbing his tummy. He followed up by silently begging me, with folded hands, to relent. He was so adorable.

"Oh, all right. Hmm; what should your ransom be?" I wondered aloud. After a moment, I smiled. "I know, how about you give me a back rub tonight?"

His face lit up with this huge smile, and he vigorously nodded his submission.

I sealed the deal with our customary release, "Deal, Andy."

Andy began to say something over the din of the chatter. Then he stopped and motioned that he wanted us to move outside on the deck, where it might be quieter. I followed him out into the cool March night air.

He led the way to a table at the corner of the deck, and held out a chair for me. I felt another pang of guilt, then. Even though I'd pulled a jinx on him when he'd least expected it, he was still being the ultimate gentleman. I let him seat me, and then he took a chair himself. It was his turn to say something, and I waited. We wound up sitting there for several minutes, munching chips and salsa and sipping at our ales, while Andy figured out what he wanted to say and how to say it. Finally, he looked up at me and spoke.

"Jeez, Annie! I haven't pulled a single jinx on you, today, because it's our birthday. I only picked on the folks, and on Jason. I didn't realize that I needed to be on guard against you, tonight," he said - and though I knew he was serious, there was still a playful tone in his voice. "Can we call a truce, at least for the rest of our birthday?"

I was feeling more than a little guilty, by that time. It was our birthday. The 'special dispensation' of a truce in the 'jinx war' should have been a given, not something to be debated or asked for.

"Maybe I should relinquish my ransom?" I offered.

"Oh, I'm happy to pay, Annie," he laughed. "You could have just asked me, though; I'd give you a back rub, anytime. I just wanted to have some twin-time. Seeing you these past few days has made me realize how much I miss being around you."

I'd wanted that twin-time, too. In fact, I'd craved that, and more. I thought about it as I took a big gulp of my ale.

"You were right," I told him, holding up my mug. "This isn't bad. So, what'd you want to talk about?"

He looked at the tabletop for a long time. It was weird; he'd clearly wanted to talk about something, but now he'd clammed up. I could see, from the play of expressions on his face, that some type of internal battle was going on within him. The silence grew uncomfortably long.

"Andy, is everything okay?"

"I um - I haven't. I mean, I'm still -"

At that moment there was one of those lulls that happens from time to time. Everyone was talking and making noise one minute, the next it was almost dead silent. I guess the silence had put him off of whatever he was trying to say. He stopped talking, turned, and looked out at the ocean.

"Hey, we can talk back at the hotel room," I offered.

"That's an idea," he nodded. Then he lifted his mug to his lips and downed the remainder of its contents in one long series of gulps. Our waitress conveniently stepped out onto the deck at that moment and looked at us with a typical You folks need anything? expression on her face.

"We'll take two more of these," he instructed, holding up his mug.

She nodded, and disappeared back inside the bistro.

"Slow down, dude," I suggested to Andy in a quiet voice. "I didn't think you wanted to get drunk."

"I don't," he shook his head, chuckling. "But it's only our birthday for another five minutes. Our first drink was on the house. I can't let you get out of your offer to buy the first round on our birthday that easily!"

"Brat!" I chided him, laughing loudly. Wondering where the time had gone, I downed the rest of my ale, as well. When the waitress returned with two more full mugs, I handed her a ten.

"Keep the change, if there is any," I instructed her. Then I turned to my brother. "The next round is on you, Andy - whether it's tonight or tomorrow!"

"Deal, Annie," he grinned.

I spent the next few moments studying my brother. I was a little worried, about him. His steely blue eyes were slightly glazed over, as he gazed out over the ocean. The moon had risen somewhat, now, and was casting more light into his eyes. His long hair was hanging forward, hiding some of his face, and I had a sudden urge to push it back so that I could see him better. He took a swallow from his new mug. He wasn't slamming this one back, so I started to relax about him tying one on tonight.

"Hey, you can talk to me. We've always been able to talk about anything." Unable to resist the urge, I finally leaned across the table and pushed his hair back behind his ear to see his face better.

He turned to look at me and there were tears forming in his eyes. "I'm twenty-one, Annie. I'm still a -"

"Virgin," we said in unison.

I could see the shock in his face. What he didn't know was that we both were. I took his hand, looking him directly in the eye.

"Andy - I am too," I admitted, blushing furiously. "Jinx, by the way," I added. I was almost regretting it the moment I'd heard it coming out of my mouth.

I'd expected Andy to be upset, but he smiled at me. "Thanks," he said.

"Oh - no - that's double jinx!" I laughed. I knew he'd been thanking me for my honesty; I just couldn't resist playing the game. Then I heard myself telling him, "You're going to have a pretty high ransom."

"I thought we had a truce," he said sadly.

"Um - Andy - our birthday ended five minutes ago. Triple jinx. How are you ever going to pay this ransom?" I couldn't believe I was pushing this so far, especially with the delicate nature of our conversation, and of our mutual admissions.

He stared at me silently. There was something there in his eyes, and I read it as a silent plea. I was pretty sure I knew what it was. Suddenly, I found myself slightly confused. I hoped I wasn't projecting my own previous obsessive thoughts onto him. Time lost meaning as we stared into one another's eyes. I knew that my love for him was visible, unmasked, on my face. The love I saw being returned made me tingle to my core. I hoped he was seeing my silent answer to his ache.

Convinced that we were in wordless agreement, I stood and took his hand. I tugged at him enticingly, encouraging him to leave the bar. He stood, shakily, to follow me down the short set of steps from the deck, and we stepped onto the beach, leaving our unfinished mugs of ale on the table. We walked hand in hand, silently, on the beach. Only the sound of softly crashing waves touched our ears. I wasn't rushing him along, but I was methodically heading us back toward our hotel.

As we walked along, I paused, periodically, to take both of his hands, urgently searching his facial expression to ensure that our wordless agreement was still in place. During each of these interludes, I could feel Andy's eyes roaming over me, devouring every detail of my figure as it was revealed by the moonlight. I wondered if - hoped that - he was feeling what I felt, as I slowly led him along. The sneer intensity of what I was feeling in those moments belied the utter silence of our trek. If he was at all uncertain in his agreement, there was no indication of as he held my hand tenderly throughout our walk.

Inside the hotel, though, he seemed a little hesitant, a little less sure. I gently tugged him along, turning to let him see my soft, loving smile every few seconds. At the door to our room, I slid the key-card into the lock and pulled out quickly, my other hand on the lever that worked the latch. The door unlocked, and I slipped inside. He was still holding my hand, but was standing on the hall side of the threshold. I winked at him, and whispered the words to him as I pulled him gently to me.