All Comments on 'Joe B. Trade'

No innocent people except for the little girl!

4

Just trying to read this dumb story lowers a persons IQ by 50 point

Incoherent

When "neuroparenthetical" understands the difference between arrangement and arraignment, then hiw editing will be superb... Other that this, your usual conservative and xenophobic stuff....

My apologies to the reader. For some reason, the moderator reviewing this story for publication, seemed to feel the need to remove all the hard breaks at the scene changes. As a reader, that irritates me, so you can imagine how I feel about it happening to my own piece. It forces all of you to try and figure out when the scene changes and where we are in the damned story. I'll attempt to contact the admin and get this re-edited. thank you for reading!

Decent story, but the abrupt transitions make it very difficult to read. You also stated that Becky and Sophia have to pay off a family debt, but you don't make any mention of it elsewhere. Please get a proofreader, or an editor.

Delete the Supreme Court reference.

A not guilty verdict isn't generally appealable.

The thing is thing is in all the "socialist progressive countries in Europe abortion abortion on demand is cap that somewhere between 16 to 20 weeks. After that in most cases His abortion on demand is illegal. This surprises a lot of liberals and conservatives.

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You see About a decade ago the liberals and the conservatives conservatives in Europe and the different nations made AA deal.. The liberals would get would get comprehensive complete to complete prenatal and post natal healthcare for the woman for the fetus and when the baby was born.It costs nothing. The conservatives got a restriction on Abortion on demand capping it at somewhere between 16 to 20 weeks.

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In other words in Europe there is no abortion controversy. The liberals got what they wanted and the conservatives got what they wanted.

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The difference is that in Europe They have complete and free comprehensive prenatal and After birth healthcare for all women. If a woman walks into a clinic because she feels that she has an upset stomach she doesn't have to wait weeks and weeks to get an appointment or to get approval from the insurance companies Or worry about the money .

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Even in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan they allow abortions In the case of rape incest or the life of the mother being in jeopardy. But they don't allow this in Mississippi Oklahoma Texas and several other States.

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How fucked in the head do you have to be to have abortion laws that are more severe than those in Saudi Arabia?

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In Oklahoma The mandatory sentence for rape is 5 years. But if a doctor performs a abortion on a 13 year old girl who was raped by a neighbor that doctor faces 10 years in jail..

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The federal government or any state government cannot pass a law constitutionally that's constitutionally that says it is illegal illegal for someone to put cream in their coffee as opposed in milk.. The reason why this is illegal and unconstitutional is because of the 9th amendment. That's where the right to privacy comes from.

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The Ninth Amendment of the United States Constitution states that the federal government doesn't own the rights that are not listed in the Constitution, instead, they belong to the people. The 9th Amendment states that the rights not specified in the Constitution belong to the people, not the federal government.

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For some reason I found this difficult to read.

I think it had the makings of a good story so 3 stars from me.

Whining about the comments section is tacky and off-putting. Write what you want or don’t.

Reported

I guess we need a follow on chapter because somewhat there’s no conclusion…

The only part I didn’t like is that Joe kept Annabelle. He will always have a living reminder of his ex-wife’s cheating.

Interesting but incomplete.

Needs a sequel where all loose ends da are tied up

Didn't even take a a minute to read your story. Once you decided to get all shitty about people who hate your cuck bullshit, the decision was easy. Might want to eliminate the need to chastise your readers.

Oh.

Did the story have an ending?

But I think I got the gist of the story. It was quite alright altho jumping from one scene with a different timeline confused me in the end.

???? Stories like this are as stupid and useless as grossly overpaid athletes refusing to stand for the Star Spangled Banner. If you don't like it, leave. If you want abortion on demand, move to Europe, or better yet, Saidi Arabia.

Sort of needs a ending.

Story has Hugh holes.

Abortion without husband consent would never fly.

The guys didn't even wear masks?

Etc

Tajfa has said it all

This story brought to mind the image of a 15 minute video synopsis of Gone With The Wind. I suppose it could be done, but a lot would be left out…and the story would be far less compelling. The writing remains strong, but the plot line was weak…with far too much going on for it to hang coherently.

Was going to comment on the lack of 'hard breaks at the scene changes', but you took care of that with your early comment. The story itself: seemed like it went too fast, or maybe I'm too slow. It was hard to follow, with too much missing. Maybe it all seemed self-explanatory to the author, but I think most here got lost. And the ending? there's a reason for epilogues......

Please finish this. Don't leave Joe in jail and don't make him an evolutionary dead end. Let him find a better woman and start over.

well done.

Good story, especially Ricardo’s operation, but it seemed to run together too much. I saw your comment about the breaks, and having those would have made a big difference. I enjoyed it.

Russian mob against OC thugs. "My criminals are tougher than your criminals." Loved it

There was an interesting story in there somewhere….but it failed to launch.

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Firstly, the 3 Stooges plan was insane. Yes…stop the abortion. But to go after the cousin at same time was incredibly dumb. Secondly….the whole Ivan scenario was just incoherent. And finally…tne ending was so rushed and incomplete as to make a reader want to scream.

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This author’s previous offerings have been promising. But this effort was a regression. Sadly.

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2 **

I'll accept your excuse for the scene/time breaks not being indicated, but jumping back and forth in time sucks anyway. But what is your excuse for the chopped off ending?

Very intense story. I like the past/present tense telling of it. Builds the suspense. Definitely needs a chapter 2 to finish. I look foward to reading it.

This isnt a BTB: it’s a sociopathic assault.

I dont care about politics, i care about people. People dont change, ever.

If he is able to break laws without remorse or inflict great damage on a person and not care, then he is a sociopath and always has been. Becky would have recognized it, sub consciously and becomes clear why she cheated on him: he is evil pretending to be a nice. He wore the mask well; but it has slipped off and it shows the truth of why she didnt want to pass on his defective genes.

Narrative was fairly well written but the scene jumps left my head spinning at times. We are left open ended on the conclusion, although I guess we know what happens. Did I mention I hate left guessing? 4*

Brutal. The writing was meandering unreadable garbage. The plot was worse. Please stop writing.

Some comments, not because I care about abortion but because facts matter.

"In Europe they have complete and free comprehensive prenatal care"

Err, no, they don't. They have TAXPAYER-FUNDED care. Only a kids thinks it's "free" when they, themselves are not paying for it. I'm not arguing for or against the taxpayer-funding, that's a different issue. Like taxpayer-funded crack pipes in the USA.

But "free" begins as an attempt to make it sound universally wonderful, as though there is no possible downside, and only a heartless bastard would oppose it.

Sadly, that's how far too much political discourse exists today. One side distorts the truth to make the other side the "baddies." Unless you enslave medical providers, SOMEONE is paying them.

And since the government does not actually MAKE money, that "someone" are other citizens or subjects, presumably those who are not the immediate beneficiaries of the treatment.

Pedantically, the perceived "right to privacy" in the USA comes not from the 9th Amendment, but from the umbrella of the 1st, 4th, and 5th Amendment. See for example, Justice Brandeis expanding on Judge Thomas Cooley's so-called "right to be left alone."

But as much as I'd LIKE it to be, that's not at all written into the US Constitution as such. It is, rather, as perceived by robed dudes as somehow being in there.

Lastly, it's the 10th Amendment to the US Consitution that grants to its national government only those powers explicitly within the document. Which sadly has been ignored for nearly a century if not more. Never more blatantly than in the USA's Roe v. Wade decision. Overturning that simply returns the decisions to the residents of the individual states.

And in truth, in all of the USA's 50 states, abortion is legal in the case of the health of the mother.

And if someone is raped, abortion is legal when performed as a D&C soon after.

Had the hack doctor in Ohio performed her duty as a mandated reporter, the fetal heartbeat (beginning around 6 weeks) might not have been present, and the abortion would have been legal.

I had a hard time following this story at times. And I agree that there really isn't a proper end to it.

Presumably, this couple lives in a future Idaho (WA only borders Idaho and Oregon), where abortion is illegal or a married woman can't get one without her husband's consent. But if abortion is legal in WA, there won't be any such thing as "after hours and off the books," because doctors are professionals who make their own hours and in this presumed future where Idaho has passed new restrictions on abortions, the bordering democratic-majority WA and OR would both respond with "abortion sanctuary" laws, making it illegal to report someone's abortion to anyone - including/especially the governments of anti-abortion states - without patient approval. And all the clinics would have 24/7 security to protect against violence. In her home state, Dr. Helen would be considered a hero, and there'd be video evidence and arrest warrants on everyone who tried to interfere with Becky's abortion (assuming the police didn't come crashing into the clinic and arrest them all in the act).

It would have better served the author's intent to have Dr. Helen performing abortions illegally in Idaho. Then the MC's revenge could have had her going to prison.

Pretty much what Harryin VA said

Breeding with a genius guarantees nothing. So what was supposed to be so special about Ricardo? The whole story was nonsense. A great plot idea, but executed by a juvenile mentality. Maybe try again with a more mature and believable approach? Still, thanks for the effort.

Poor ending. Too man things happening with a wink and a nod. Too many details left unfinished.

Definitely the worst story you've posted. It would have been difficult to follow with the breaks. There was so many things going on where we just had a small tidbit of information to go on. Then we get bounced in another direction with the same outcome. It would have taken 4 or 5 more pages to even begin to clean this mess up. Hopefully you'll get back on track with your next story.

Very difficult story to follow. No idea what happened or what the conclusion was. The wife walked somehow but was going to Vegas to be a hooker with her MOM???? Where did that come from. Story really did not make much sense.

Finished

Your story was easy to read, but didn't have any positive effect for me. Murder and mutilation are, for me, no means of revenge! And undermining the legal system through the use of pure violence may be real, but it doesn't appeal to me either. The only good thing was that the ex wife and her mother had to work as whores for the Russians!

3. Over the top and at times not in a good way, the revenge was pretty messy, the aftermath asked a lot for the reader to accept and the ending was pretty bad. What Joe's wife did was disgusting and she deserved revenge as did the MIL but Joe took things too far. Went to straight up murder (not to say the guy didn't deserve it), threatening some woman who seemed innocent and getting her blacklisted in her field to the point if felt like she got more put upon her then the wife and MIL who was happily cucking him, killing the presumably his unborn child even while demeaning the doctor for doing the same, and nearly getting his friends put into jail if not for the timely invention of the friendly Russian mob who helped in exchange for a favor. The wife and MIL didn't have a happy ending but certainly got off fairly light compared to their actions and compared to the consequences felt by others. Good ideas in the story and the author isn't a bad writer I just think this story really missed the mark in many ways.

I think you lost control of the story - maybe your thoughts about the conclusion should have been solidified earlier in the story! Definitely not your best work!

You're clearly outraged by abortion but cool with mutilation and murder.

Republican?

@cookingwithgas

Sure, blame the moderator for your incoherant, boring, long winded drivel that wasn't made more readable by whoever your editor is.

Missing pages between, plus ending sucked be time, been generous giving it a 3 star as shows promise for next time

It would have been nice to delineate the different parts of the story somehow. One paragraph says one thing, and suddenly the next paragraph is off on a tangent.

I'm not sure if you're actually a cheating whore posing as a man in order to give false validity to your utterly contemptible behavior or if you're actually one of the men who shouldn't be allowed to call themselves that and should be castrated to prevent the passing along of such defective genes. Either way, I appreciate that you admitted at the start that you were deliberately going to butcher this story as you think that men having the strength to expect respect and commitment from their spouse are evil. It's encouraging to see a worthless piece of shit recognize their own stench.

WTF ? Confusing story with practically no character development. Two stars ⭐️ for this one.

What a mishmash of words purporting to be a coherent story. Author, you need to rewrite this shocker, fix it up. You had the gem of a decent story, but you fucked it up, completely.

Scores 2/5

fucks sake this is a mess. jumping around the timeline just leaves the reader confused. I see in the comments where you blame the mod and that may be so but you do it so much even with the breaks its hard to follow because theres no substance between the jumps and its hard to tell where you're jumping to, and you jump to avoid having to tell an actual story. This is like a cliff notes version

Well if you aimed for dumber than shit, shit thanks you for making it stink less by compare.

Absolutely horrible story. Trying to gain some political cred in a shit story is laughably pathetic.

i understand it less after reading it than i did before i read it

Is he going to get the pipe wrench from the child next time?????

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Never under estimate a curious husband

Please proof read so that the story makes sense to you. Jumping around is ok at times. but it can be confusing. So the mafiosa doesn't inter-breed like someone hints? Anything is possible in this world. Ask any Social Worker about the nightmare families that they encounter.

but hell no.

Difficult to read and the ending was abrupt with no clear telling. Too much detail where it wasn't needed and too little where it was needed, in the end.

No true ending..

This is one for the BTB's. No, I didn't feel obligated to throw you a bone. I don't usually write this shit.

Keep your bone......... everything you write is shit.

@Anonymous Re: Free health care - You're being pedantic. You know very well that "free" healthcare means that it is free to the consumer. Obviously nothing is free. You don't pay directly for the firefighters who respond to your house fire, so although we don't think of it that way, it's "free," in the sense that you don't reach for your checkbook or credit card, even though your tax dollars pay for it.

The jumps from past to present were sometimes hard to follow. I read the comment explaining the lack of indicators, so ok.

The plot line was ok and you’ve proven you’re quite capable of writing a good story, but I think this one fell short of your past efforts. It just seemed a bit underdeveloped.

sometimes justice doesn't come from the law, this tory certainly shows that to some extreme. I do support a woman's right choose in some instances. Since a man who impregnates a woman with child is made responsible for the support of that child, why shouldn't he have a say if the woman wanted an abortion? Just sayin'.

I also say the morals of this country have been in a steady decline since Roe v Wade was made into law. The problem with that decision was it was just a decision not law but our courts seem tie to every previous court decision to the one before that was similar, thus setting a precedence but nobody seems to consider what if that previous ruling was wrong?

Thank you for the up front warning. I did not read the story because of it. I have so far read everything else of yours except Ides of March Review, and will keep my eye out for your name in the new releases.

Looking forward to your next story.

TayJK

tayjk42 at gmail

I gave up halfway through page 2 before bailing.

Story really had a chance at being acceptable, right up until the abrupt end.

All the woke bullshit bashing was very staged and unbelievable. I for one believe that they are all free to screw up their own lives.....As long as they have to foot the bill themselves to do it. As soon as you try and make it into a tax paid for item. Well, then you can all go fuck yourselves. You idiots that feel society owes you something for nothing and feel entitled to do what ever you want and not take responsibility for it. Well you are delusional and reality is going to fuck you up.

As for the story here, well I guess opposites don't really work together. These old world entitled wanna be gangsters that think they are above the rest. They just got a lesson in how much their shit floats in an area that doesn't tolerate this bullshit. Shocking that they are even surprised that everyone does not just capitulate to their whims. Hope that they enjoy their new stay in vegas. Rico got just what he deserved, only difference was what happened at the clinic. He could have been taken to the woods and castrated with out involving the "feminist" that seem to populate the employment roles of these places. It is best when there are no witnesses. His punishment would have been the same in my world regardless of their family tradition. My family tradition is if you go after my home and family and try to pass off your seed as mine. You forfeit the right to breathe. If my wife voluntarily participates in the deception and fraud. Well, Two is as easy as one. Country people don't live in cities because they don't want to, not because they can't. City people ( not everyone, but the ones who use the population to hide in and ply their parasitic trades) live there for convenience and anonymity and lack of repercussions. They don't live in the country because they know their actions will become known and will be dealt with accordingly. The legal system and law enforcement are for normal day to day issues and disputes. Justice is for these morons that think they are above the law. In the country these are dealt with directly and swiftly. No need to bring the watered down legal system into something that it has no intention of providing justice for. Just billable hours for trial lawyers and wastes of American tax dollars. No need to involve them in something that they are woefully inadequate to handle.

This story was nicely written and could be more acceptable as piece of work if doesn't just stop in the middle of the trail. It almost appears and is backed up by the writers initial comments. That this type of story holds no passion or belief of the actions taken. So why write it. Just stay in your lane and continue with your RAAC stories. At least they will be honest and more believable. I can see why you want to enter into the divorce/BTB stories in this category. They are all the highest rated stories in loving wives stories. Well you missed the mark on this one for many reasons. But mostly due to authenticity and completion. You can't fake passion and this area is not yours. But you are a really talented story teller and writer. So, if you have any that break the 4 rating I will check them out. RAAC are only acceptable in one time slips or rape. Any that involve premeditated action would never be acceptable. Friends or civil interaction because of kids involved is common. Staying married to a person who cheats is stupid and just a waste of future years that will end poorly in 95% of the reconciliations. The marriage will never be the same "ever". If decorate a turd, all you have is decorated piece of shit.

May have been OK if ìt is ever finished

There should have been no anesthetic used during Ricardo's procedure but outside that, nearly perfect. Only question is who'd want to fuck Sophia? Did I miss the description of her as the hot granny?

The quick end to the story is disappointing. It left too much dangling, flapping in the wind.

Completely Repulsive

This is a vile and repulsive "story". Abuse of the doctor for no reason.

The "story" is also ignorant. The word for an attorney is "counsel", not "council". Write what you know. If you don't know anything, shut the fuck up.

This is truly terrible.

@Fossil he did warn you about that, didn't he?

It's fiction. No doctor was harmed in the making of this story, I think.

The ultimate right wing fantasy: fundamentally weak man with no hope of procreating gets a gun (American made, obviously) then uses it to force a woman to have his baby. But why not just have the MC rape someone else, and force her to have his unwanted child? Seems cheaper.

Very good set-up, nice idea about how to get revenge to the responsible party, with the twist of the child beeing lost anyway.

The ending seems not fully worked out, though, kind of simply cut off. 4*

dumb

where is part 2?

I loved it! It was a good 'Story'! Some people just don't get it.

next chapter please

LOL, "Dickless" story

Council=a group of responsible persons=the city council

Counsel=attorney=counselor at law

Write what you know.

"Arraignment" not "arrangement"

No need to waste time reading it after your condemnation of the normals who would BTB.

not happy w/ making deals w/ russian mafia which are worse than sicilian mafia and maybe worse than MS13. They need to be put down permanently w/o any legal inhibitions. they dont play by legal rules, neither should those trying to exterminate them. Other wise pretty good story. rk

This is a poorly conceived effort which taxes the clearly limited skill set of the author. It is regrettable this submission was accepted for publication.

A completely different story, made me laugh, nicely done.

Another variation on the femdom agitprop theme. Sure are a lot of them.

“ like pulling a piece of chicken off a skewer.” A new classic!

This one I feel compelled to give this a 5-star rating, heck it's evil enough for at least 6. I like stories that are a bit different and yup, this one is sure different. I was hoping for ole Rico's survival, he would have an excellent reason to go for the whole sex change surgery. I wonder what the Sicilian female form of Rico/Ricardo is?

Over the top and not very realistic but very entertaining!

Loved it.

Idk I think it’s hilarious that suddenly the Russian mafia becomes the good guys hahaha

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Sophia and Becky’s fate working off their debt on their backs in a mafia brothel made me laugh. Poor proud Sophia and clueless Becky reduced to being mob prostitutes. The irony was delicious.

5/5

OTT story that made me smile at the underlying humour which runs throughout. A good parody of the extreme BTB. BardnotBard

Where is the rest?

Phrasing at the beginning made it seem like Becky was missing. I'd actually hoped that they'd kidnap her, keep her captive until she gave birth, and then her get a baby by blood from her.

Ricardo is one of those people who just seem to misunderstand the connection between closed mouth and continued life.

I'm guessing Helen was promised immunity for the planned abortion off the books, as it were. Otherwise, she would have kept her mouth shut.