John Becomes Jen

Warning - this includes an incident of non-con sex.

This includes cross dressing and gender change along with non-con sex and sex between a trans woman and a cis woman.

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I'm John, 18 years old with a twin sister, Jen. At least that used to be the case until my sister was killed in a car accident. I was devastated because Jen and I were so close. Not only were we twins, but we even looked a lot alike. I know, fraternal twins can look at dissimilar as any two other siblings, but in our case, we were quite alike. People looked at us and immediately knew we were related. Not only were our faces similar, but we were about the same height and weight with similar bone structure.

We had gone away to college and were sharing a place off campus. We had a trust fund from our grandparents that let us afford that little luxury. When Jen died, I went home for a very few days for the funeral, then went back to school. My parents wanted to come and get all Jen's things from the apartment, but I told them I wasn't ready to let go of all that yet.

"Son, I know you loved your sister, but she's gone and you have to accept that and let go of her."

"Dad, I know she's dead, but having her stuff here makes me feel comfortable."

"It isn't good for you to try to hold on like that."

"I still feel close to her and I even though she's gone, it gives me some small connection to what I lost."

"We all lost her and your mother and I loved her dearly."

"We all have to grieve in our own ways, and I need this."

"I think you're making a huge mistake by trying to hold onto this."

"Just give me time. Please."

"Why don't you drop out of school for a while and come back home."

"I don't want to leave this apartment. Not now. Not like this."

"Please call us and stay in touch."

"I promise."

The semester was almost over and I just sleep walked through the rest of that term. We were coming up on summer break and I decided to just stay there for the summer instead of going home. I got a summer job as a barista in a coffee shop and worked that. It gave me a little cash, not that I needed the money, but more importantly, it gave me an excuse to stay in the place that I'd shared with Jen.

I had Jen's computer and her passwords and checked her emails and as the semester ended, there were messages from her professors saying they understood she had an accident. They indicated she could complete her work remotely, but that if she didn't complete it, they'd have to fail her. I didn't want her memory tarnished that way, so I went and completed her work and took her tests. Since we were in the same classes, I got passing grades for her.

After a few days of missing my sister, when it was time to go to bed, instead of going to my room, I went to her room and slept in her bed. I had refused to wash the sheets in there, so the bed still had her aroma and I found that very relaxing, and for the first time since her accident, I had a good night's sleep. After that, I began sleeping in her bed every night.

Obviously after a while, those sheets had to be washed and her aroma dissipated somewhat. I washed those sheets, but when I put them back on her bed, I gave it a light shot of her favorite perfume. That made it smell like her again and helped me relax and I felt ever closer to her. Was it some kind of weird obsession? I don't know, I just knew it made me feel better.

For a while, it felt good just sleeping in her bed, but then I felt the need to get even closer to her and to her memory. I put on one of her nightgowns when I went to bed and that made me feel better. Besides, it wasn't like anyone but me would ever know. It felt so good, I began to wear her nightgowns to bed every night. I guess it seems strange, and yes I knew she was gone, but somehow these things made me feel that I still held onto a piece of my sister.

I should let go, that's what my parents and people I knew kept telling me. As a twin, I'd been so close to her my whole life that I couldn't bring myself to let go. It was like I was letting go of a part of myself. We were two separate people, but our lives had been so intertwined that Jen was a part of me and I couldn't bear to ever lose that part.

It wasn't any sort of overnight thing, it all seemed to take place in slow motion. After sleeping in her nightgowns for a few weeks, I took another step by wearing a pair of her panties to bed under the nightgown. Again, it seemed innocent and there was no way anyone would ever know. It seemed to bring me one step closer to my sister.

When you start down the rabbit hole, it can be hard to stop, and indeed it seemed to be for me. After a while, I began wearing Jen's panties even during the day. I figured that no one would ever know and no harm was done. Every time I went to the bathroom, I was reminded of my sister and that made me feel good. At home in the evenings I slowly began to wear even more of her clothes.

It was just at home and I started with her jeans and tops. I mean I wore jeans and tees much of the time anyhow and her clothes fit me pretty well. I felt free and felt at one with my sister. She might be gone, but it felt like she was still living through what I did. I had to keep some part of her alive, anyway I could and this seemed to be the best way I could find.

The fall semester started and I let my part time job go. I had to register for classes for the fall term and I can't even explain why, but when I did, I registered for classes for Jen and not for myself. I knew I could not do the work for two students but by registering as Jen, it kept her alive just a little longer. Most of the work was remote and online, so it was easy enough to do the work as her.

I had classes that were remote but with zoom sessions. I avoided having live video of me on those, and limiting it to audio. I had a pic of Jen set as the user profile, so the others just saw a still photo. It seemed to go well and I was doing great in the classes, or I guess Jen was. Overall I was pleased and things seemed fine until I got a request from one of the professors for a meeting in person.

I was afraid that the in person meeting would be the end of the line for Jen, and that a piece of her would die if it was exposed that I was taking classes under her name. The only way I could keep it going and keep that piece of her alive was to show up for that meeting as Jen and convince the professor that I really was her.

I'd been wearing her jeans and tops around the apartment, but that was pretty much the extent of it. I had about a week before the meeting and spent time each day with online makeup tutorials and then practicing putting makeup on. The first time or two, I looked more like the Joker than like Jen, but after a week, could do a credible job.

On the day of the meeting, I shaved my face clean and then shaved underarms, legs, and any other hair that might give me away. I painted toenails and fingernails, and put on a nice skirt and top. Of course I had to put on a bra and pad it out so I seemed to have boobs. I got a nice pair of shoes with low wide heels and open toes to show the toenail polish, then put on makeup.

My hair had been somewhat longish before and I hadn't gotten it cut in months, but it didn't look that feminine. I brushed it to look as female as possible, then went to a salon and had them cut and style it. I had a pic of Jen and told them I wanted my hair to look 'as much like I used to' as possible. I'd put on a couple of Jen's bangle bracelets and a nice chain, then went and had my ears pierced.

By the time I was done with those things, I looked as much like Jen as I possibly could, and it was almost time for my meeting. I had a purse, with Jen's driver's license and student ID and drove to campus. I tried to walk in a feminine manner without being overly exaggerated. I'd seen some cross dressers and transvestites who overdid it, but I wanted to look natural.

I guess I did okay, since I saw heads turning to look at me and had more than a few men smile at me as I went to the professor's office. Still, as I got to the door to his office, I was nervous as hell. I knocked on the door and he told me to come in and I did. He was looking at some papers as I walked in, then he looked up, saw me and had a huge smile.

"It is so nice to actually see you in person, Miss Cooper."

"Please, Dr. Roberts, just call me Jen."

"Please, Jen, have a seat, and you can call me Rob. All my friends do."

I sat down carefully. I had a day or two to practice with the skirt, but still wasn't completely comfortable and didn't want to flash my teacher. I crossed my ankles and kept my knees close together and tucked the skirt so nothing would show. As a guy, I'd never had to worry about what would show in a skirt, so I had to be careful never to let my knees separate.

"I know this class is largely online, but you're done so well, I wanted to meet with you."

"Everything is okay then?"

"Your work has been exceptional but sometimes it's hard to get the most out of an online class."

"I've been very pleased with the class so far."

"I've gotten permission from the university to have an in person seminar next semester for my very best students, and I'd like you to be a part of that."

"I'm flattered that you'd ask."

"Please say yes. You are brilliant, in addition to being such a beautiful young woman. It would be a joy to have you as part of that class."

Shit. An online class was easy to do as Jen. I seemed to have managed to pull off this meeting with the professor, but was concerned about trying to do a whole semester in person as Jen. I sat there, torn and uncertain about what to do, when Dr. Roberts got up, came around his desk, sat down in a chair next to me and took my hand, then looked in my eyes.

"I think you have a lot of talent and potential and it would be a feather in my cap to be able to mentor you."

"I'm flattered that you would even ask me."

"Honestly, my dear, if I weren't your instructor, I wouldn't be asking you to join my class, I'd be asking you for a date."

"I could never..."

"Nor could I, but I'm very taken with you in many ways."

"I've been doing exclusively online classes."

"I really would like you in this seminar. I'll be working closely with each student in the class, and I'd love the chance to work with you as well."

"I'll have to make sure I can fit it into my schedule."

"Please. It could be a big boost to you academically."

"I appreciate the invitation and I'll try to make it work."

He still had my hand in his and he was petting it, which was both disconcerting and comforting. I got up and gently pulled my hand from his. He leaned forward and for just a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. I didn't think I wanted a guy to kiss me. I had no sexual interest in other males, but at the same time, there was almost a magnetic attraction to it that frightened me.

I left Dr. Roberts' office and walked to my car. I sat down in it and frankly shook for a few minutes before I regained any sense of aplomb. My attempt to keep Jen alive and as part of my life was taking me places that I never expected. I wasn't sure I wanted to go where it was taking me, but I wasn't sure I had a choice, short of letting her go.

I drove back to the apartment, went in and simply sat down. I didn't change so I sat there in a skirt, top, bra, and panties, with makeup, and jewelry. Was keeping Jen alive going to mean living her life for her? Was I up to that? What kind of emotional cost would there be to that? Just how far was I going to have to take it?

I sat there a while, then got up and went in her bedroom and her bathroom and looked in the mirror. I no longer even saw John. I saw Jen in the mirror. I took off the jewelry, except the earrings. I guessed that until the ears healed up properly, I'd need to keep wearing earrings. I kicked off the low heels but left the makeup, skirt, and bra on.

I had a zoom class starting shortly, or at least Jen did, so I got on the computer and joined. I don't know that I really thought about it, but turned on the video for this class. My instructor and classmates noticed immediately and commented on it.

"Damn, it looks like we have a star joining our class today."

"Jen, you need to have your video on all the time."

"Leave the girl alone, you turds."

"I suppose now you'll spend the whole class session ogling her instead of learning anything."

"Now I wish this class was in person instead of online."

"You clowns need to grow up, otherwise Jen will turn her video off and never turn it on again."

"We're sorry, Jen, it's just that you look so cute we got carried away."

"Please don't turn your video off. We'll behave."

I sat there shocked through the entire exchange. After a few minutes, things settled down, and the guys quit making comments. I did notice a few times that the instructor asked a guy a question, and he had to repeat the question. The guy couldn't answer the question, even though the instructor had covered that exact thing only a minute before. The instructor asked me to stay on after the class, and we waited until everyone else had left.

"Miss Cooper, I do prefer all my students have their video feed on."

"I just -"

"- Didn't want the kind of nonsense we had today. I understand completely."

"I don't know if I should..."

"Keep your video on. Those idiots will either grow up, or their grades will suffer."

"I will."

"You do look cute as hell though."

"I, ... uh..."

"Most of us can keep a lid on it though."

"Okay."

"I'll see you next class. Have a good day."

I was kind of stuck now. I had two professors who had seen me as Jen and now expected me to appear that way. I was keeping my twin alive in my mind and in the eyes of others, but felt like I was starting to lose myself in the process. I had classes as Jen for the rest of the semester and also had a professor who wanted me in an in person class next semester.

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My parents wanted to come visit me to make sure I was doing fine. Since I had a two bedroom place, they had every expectation of being able to stay in my second bedroom. I couldn't dress as Jen when they came, and also couldn't let them see me doing online classes as her. I moved my male clothes into Jen's bedroom and tried to hide the fact that I still had all of Jen's stuff.

"You changed bedrooms, son?"

"I moved to the larger bedroom with the attached bath."

"And did you finally get rid of Jen's stuff?"

"Did you get rid of everything related to Jen?"

"Of course not. We kept pictures and a few mementos."

"I kept some things as mementos too."

"It felt before like you didn't want to let go of her."

"We were twins -- that made us very close. I don't want to pretend I never had a sister."

"Just don't get too attached."

"I have some online classes, and need to be able to focus when I'm in them, so I'll do those in my room with the door shut."

"If that's what you need to do."

"I don't want to be distracted by you and mom."

"That's fine. By the way, your hair is getting long. You might want to get it cut."

"Seriously, dad -- I've seen pictures. You had long hair when you were my age. You're hardly the person to criticize me for hair length."

"Style seems a little odd. That's all."

I'd had my hair cut in a more feminine style for my meeting with the professor, and left it that way. I tried to brush it to look more masculine around my parents. I wanted it to look more feminine when I had my classes in zoom. I wore none of Jen's clothes around them, except her panties, which were covered by my jeans.

I hung out with my parents as much as possible and tried to assure them that I was fine. We went out to eat and mom cooked at the apartment also. They arrived on a Friday evening and on the weekend, everything went pretty easily. I encouraged them to go out and enjoy the town when I had classes. Given how much was locked down, there were limits to what they could do.

When it came time for class, I brushed my hair in a feminine style, put on some makeup, along with a bra and one of Jen's tops. Needles to say, I locked my bedroom door and stayed in the bedroom for class. When I speak in class as Jen, I use a higher, softer voice, and since my parents were in the next room, talked less and even more quietly.

As soon as class was over, I took off the bra and that top and put on one of my tees, then washed off the makeup and brushed my hair differently. I made sure not to ever leave either of them in the place alone, in case they decided to snoop. I didn't want them to find Jen's clothes or things. I did have one touchy moment when dad was hogging the second bathroom.

"John, dear, your dad seems to have moved into the bathroom. Do you mind if I use yours?"

"Mom, my bathroom is very messy and disgusting."

"I'm used to cleaning messy bathrooms. Your dad often leaves quite a mess."

"Please, just give me two minutes to clean it first."

"Your mess won't bother me."

I darted in my bathroom which had all Jen's cosmetics and such still out. I quickly gathered and stashed them and came out to find mom standing in my bedroom. Mercifully, I had hidden everything in the bedroom which might tip someone off. She used the bathroom and came out before too long. I stayed in the bedroom to make sure she didn't snoop there after using my bathroom.

"There was almost no mess in that bathroom. I don't know why you worried."

"I tried to clean it up quickly."

"It couldn't have been too bad if you got it that clean that quickly."

"I try not to be a slob."

Mother gave me some funny looks after that, and I suspect she may have found some of the stuff I tried to hide. My folks stayed less than a week, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they left. They both hugged me goodbye and dad loaded the car and got in. Mom stayed out a touch longer and it was clear she wanted to talk to me.

"You're a better actor than I'd have given you credit for."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you miss your twin, but please try to let her go."

"Haven't I -- "

"You and I both know you haven't. I'm just not sure how deep it goes."

They both left and I felt a great peace, even if my mother seemed to have figured out that not everything was copacetic.

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I felt freer now and began to wear Jen's clothes all the time around the apartment. I always wore bra and panties, sometimes a skirt or dress, other times her jeans or slacks. I felt we were becoming one, that I might have John's body, but was both John and Jen. I sometimes had food or takeout delivered and always was dressed as Jen when I got the delivery.

I spent most of my time in the apartment, but went out on occasion. I had gone to see the professor as Jen, so now when I went out, I did that as Jen, as well. No one seemed to be bothered by that. In fact, I had guys flirting with me and wanting to take me out on a date. Obviously, I didn't think that was such a great idea, but still enjoyed the attention.

I didn't know that Jen was particularly sexually active, but I found she had birth control pills. They seemed to hold some magnetism to me and I felt as Jen, I should take them also. No, there was no chance of me becoming pregnant, and frankly I didn't want to have sex with guys but began to take those pills and even refilled the prescription when I ran out.

I felt even more like Jen as I took her pills, and the changes were so slow and subtle that I hardly even noticed until they were well under way. I had less facial hair, not that I ever had a lot to begin with, and didn't seem to get any extra. My hips got rounder and my ass filled out her jeans even better than before. What caught my attention was when I started to develop boobs. They were small and I still needed padding in my bras, but I had breasts of my own.