Johnnie Jaye 01

Johnnie Jaye 01

Hello there. I'm Johnny although I'm writing to you today as my favorite persona, Johnnie Jaye. And according to my roomie, LOL, I live in Narnia, LOL, otherwise known as on the north side of the river in Middleton in a nice A-Frame cottage house in the hills area.

I'm pretty happy and very confused at the same time, but I manage (I think). I like to think of myself as someone who has a few appealing and delightful features, but I do hold my thoughts and comments and wait for someone like any of you to validate my claims for me. I mean, yeah, I create posts on Chang from time to time that almost seem to beg for a validation comment back, but I'm not a social media junkie (LOL, I'm a liar!).

Anyways, I found myself in a little trouble a few months ago when I thought it was perfectly safe to dress and venture out to meet new people. Um, that wasn't exactly the case, unless you're alright with me spelling "meet" with its similar word "meat" and add the "fresh" into the mix.

I mean, like I just said and like you just validated for me on Chang (thanks), I have a few nice features and certain female clothing only further highlight a few of those features and certain guys like features like mine and that's how I came about having a roommate (or a protector). Say what you want about Sadie and her new living arrangements, but I haven't been raped and beaten, so everything is good in my (non-blacken) eyes. I mean, she brought balance and safety in my weird life, so.

Anyways, nowadays, I have what I consider to be new friends around town and I feel very safe when I attend any social event or any park. Now beyond that, um, the previous loss of a few of my old friends is on me, I guess. Sadie barely knows them, so fixing those relationships has been up to me since the guys abandoned me for wearing tights under my Demin shorts.

And that actually hasn't been going to badly. My best friend, Charlie and I have been talking and it felt like we were making progress, so you know, there was hope of things working themselves out. Now, do I mention much about how most of the attention I draw is from guys? Ah, no, but I think Charlie is smart enough to figure a few things out himself. Not that I'm on the prowl for a boyfriend or anything, but when you dress like a girl, well, that attracts guys, right? And Sadie let's me engage, oops, talk to a few guys and she doesn't, well, Kent is still alive and almost ten fingers, so.

Anyways, like I said, my main friend Charlie have been working on things, so we started to make plans to hang out again soon. Which I suggested could be a Friday evening trip to the Ice Cream Parlor for about an hour or so. As two old friends and not as a date, although it's hard to describe an outing as anything other than a date, which is why I didn't keep Sadie completely informed that our plans had been solidified.

Oh, and by the way, if you've never been in a cottage style A-Frame house, well, they are pretty wide open with barely a wall in the place other than the bathrooms and Sadie's bedroom, so sitting up in my loft area is a lot like listening to an echo chamber.

"Oh, shoot, um, hello Charlie, um, wow, um, the roomie is, um, snap, he's Johnnie Jaye this evening and I mean he's very Johnnie Jaye tonight, so???"

"It's alright Sadie, we've been talking again and I've viewed his (OMG) Chang page and, well, it's alright. So, Sadie, can I come in (please, please tell me that he's dressed from head to toe)?"

"Ah, yeah, sure, ah, I was just about to take a shower anyways, so, um, you better not mess with him Charlie because it's taken me weeks to get him calmed down and all."

"No, no, I'm actually, ugh, caving in and we've decided to be supportive as best as we can, so I'm not here to mess with him. However, I on the other hand still wear 505's and I'm really excited about you taking a shower and all, so am I slowly breaking you down yet, Sadie?"

"Well, LOL, not yet Charlie, but this is only second time that we've met, but you know Charlie, you keep at it champ. Anyways, I'll just whisper for Johnnie Jaye because you know, A-Frames houses weren't designed for silence and you just sit here and think about how I look in shower, alright, LOL? Oh, Johnnie Jaye, your nerd friend Charlie is here to visit with you."

I mean, it's not like I was kneeling down near the glass railing in my loft and listen or anything.

"So, Charlie, what's the plan so I make sure he's properly dressed. I mean, are the two of you staying in tonight or going out? Mm-mmm? He's currently in a "stay in" manner of dress at the moment, so??"

"Ugh, ooh, ugh, I thought we would go to the Ice Cream Parlor for an hour or so (and then find you), so, wow, maybe you are worth your weight in gold. Um, seriously? He has a "stay in" manner of dress?"

"LOL, he's happy Charlie. Oh Johnnie Jaye, maybe you should change from your house shorts or at least slip on a pair tights sweetie. Your maroon tights will do. I'll entertain your friend for a few extra moments before I take my shower."

LOL, she should have said that Charlie was happy! And my maroon tights are pre distressed, so I can do things without looking like I did things to ruin my tights, which I have never done.

"Alright Sadie, just how the hell does this work around here? I mean, you've only been living a couple of months, yet you seem to be in total control. Also, please tell me that Johnnie Jaye doesn't have a boyfriend. Also plus, um, are you shower ready under your robe? Also plus, plus, I should maybe come around more often now."

"Wow, I didn't expect all that from a nerd, but alright. I'm just his protector, which is something that you need to become as well. And get that look out of your eyes right now mister. I admit that moving in with Johnnie Jaye here in Narnia has been a great thing in my life, but I did not trick him nor was I his rescue project. We just found each other and I will protect him, that's all."

"Um, Narnia? And the shower ready thing?"

"Well, we are on the north side of the river, right? I mean, maybe the meaning of the north side of the river is lost on those who never lived on the south side of the river. And don't get too excited about me being shower ready under my robe. As you can see, I am quite petite as compared to literally any of those curvy and busty babes who seem to be in literally every single video game that you guys enjoy so much (pervs). But yes, Charlie, you caught me off guard and yes, I am ooh, la, la, shower ready under my fine ass and expensive cotton robe. Anyways, as his old friend, you had better protect him as well, Charlie!"

"Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want the best for Johnnie Jaye. And for you, Sadie. And for Narnia. And for the shower, I guess."

"Alright then, stepping out f the gutter then, right?????"

"Fine (it's just that I've been this close to a non-silicone girl who is shower ready), the guys and I were thinking that we could have a reunion mixer here soon to bury the hatchet and all. I mean, it would be in honor of making mends with, ugh, Johnnie Jaye and it would be Todd, Chet, me and you know, you, of course (and please, please tell that Johnnie Jaye won't have a partner). I mean, you will be here, right Sadie?"

"Oh, and miss the opportunity to witness a nerd reunion mixer, LOL, I wouldn't miss that for anything. But I will protect him (and he has the attention of a few others, so deal with it perv)."

See folks? She always has my best interest in mind. She also has Charlie's mind in a bender, which I don't care about because it sounds like I'm having a social thrown in my honor, right?

And I'm going to spare all of you a description of our "old friends" secret hand shake when I bounced down the loft steps. I mean, well, I think our hands managed to touch each other at least once (out of eleven hand and wrist flips).

Also, LOL, Sadie should have warned Charlie that I was rave party colorful ready, even with my maroon tights on. I mean, his eyes, right? LOL, they were dangling from their sockets. Oh, yeah, that's why our secret nerd hand shake was so bad, yeah, that's it, his eyes were all goofy from seeing me dressed for the first time.

"Um, Johnnie Jaye, I should use the bathroom (that Sadie is taking a shower in) before we head out (I mean, I should judge for myself how she stacks up to literally any anime girl graphic)."

Hah, what an idiot, right? Sadie always showers upstairs in my loft bathroom. My shower with the glass doors in an A-Frame house that barely has any privacy walls.

"Idiot. She uses my private bathroom up in loft to shower in. But go so we can go."

Yup, there were the sad puppy dog eyes of an idiot and then snap, replace his sad puppy dog eyes with eyes as wide as Texas as she came down the stairs in just a towel. I large towel mind you, but just a towel all the same.

"Johnnie Jaye, I'm glad you're going out and all, but I'm going to the old stumping grounds myself tonight after I shower, so text me if anything goes sideways tonight."

"Well, I thought we might swing by the park afterwards too, I mean, if Charlie wants to and all."

"Hmmm!!!!"

"He can meet some of your friends and all."

"Hmmm!!!"

Ahh, the sight of a petite woman in just a towel with her arms crossed tightly, right? LOL, Charlie probably wished it went the other way because LOL, her towel wasn't going to fall as I was letting her know that I knew Kent would be at the park that night.

"Fine, have Charlie flash his headlights from the parking area and bring a few wine coolers (and a 40 for your stupid boyfriend)."

As she pushed us out of the door. As she purposely placed her hands on Charlie as she purposely pushed us out of the front door.

"Just keep me updated on your nerd reunion mixer Charlie and maybe, just maybe, I'll bring a few others around for your friends. I mean, I should do a little "Anime Girlfriend" research, LOL, right Charlie?"

Stupid girls in a towel who know how to steal the moment!

"OMG, Johnnie Jaye, wow, respect and OMG, did you ever pick a bad time to go fem and stuff!"

"Drive, Charlie."

"Fine, so, um, just between us, um, you are kind of hot, I guess."

"Eyes forward and drive, Charlie."

"Fine, but we're having a video tournament reunion mixer soon to bury the hatchet and all."

"I love that, but both hands on the wheel and drive, Charlie."

"Well, scoot closer or something while I drive."

"This is not a date, Charlie, so drive."

"Well, it looks like a date, so reach over or something, Johnnie Jaye."

"LOL, I will not be reaching "over" or something, so LOL, drive solo handed or something, Charlie."

"Fine (tease), but are you, um, you know, smooth everywhere???"

"Ooh, yes, I am and it's amazing. I mean, my naked reflection in the mirror is so smooth and so bald and so smooth. I may not be qualified to judge myself, but it's very appealing and all."

"Oh, so you like that, huh?"

"LOL and so would you, trust me. so would you, Charlie."

"Huh, wait, did you just offer me something? Like a peek, Johnnie Jaye?"

Oh, he found a sweet spot for me alright. I mean, keeping so smooth and hairless can be a lot of work and all, but wow, even I like to, well, feel myself up, if that's not to freaky to say.

"Hush Charlie and you can park towards the rear of the Ice Cream Parlor. I really don't get out much, so we can walk as much as possible and if you want to, well, we can stroll as close to each other as you want. And while we're waiting in line, Charlie, um, if you want to show them that you're my bull, um, you can gently fag on my butt cheeks if you're comfortable with that."

Ah, what? What the hell words just came out of my mouth?!?!?

Anyways, I'm not saying that the Ice Cream Parlor is a club or anything, but is has a rep around town for drawing certain people who may be on the prowl. I mean, not that's why I suggested a trip to the parlor or anything, LOL, right?

"Well, that was different, Johnnie Jaye. I mean, fun, but wow, different, right? I mean, I guess I didn't realize that there was such a market and all."

"Oh, and good job letting everyone know that you were my stud, Charlie!"

"Well, you said I could feel you up and all."

"I said you could gently pat me on the ass and all. You washed your hands, right?"

"Let me fuck you, Johnnie Jaye!"

"Drive to the "Stop & Rob, Charlie."

"At least unbutton your shorts for me."

"Fine, but the tights extend well above my belly button (my perfectly shaped belly button)."

"Oh, and I found anther thing that you like, huh?"

"Drive Charlie and don't forget the 40 when you grab some wine coolers."

"Johnnie Jaye, do you even know what a 40 is?"

"No, but I know you're thinking about what my belly button looks like now, LOL. Ah, finger it if you want to, Charlie. I mean, it might be the ice cream getting to my head right now, but all of a sudden, I feel like "scooting" closer to you (back here behind the Ice Cream Parlor)."

"Oh, well, from now on we will get you extra, extra Bourbon flavored caramel topping then. I mean, if the ice cream and fake syrup is getting to your head and all."

"Hmmm, did you just ask me for head, Charlie? I mean, I'm feeling all woozy and stuff, so my hearing might be impaired. And for the record, I am not reaching over right now because we are not on a date."

"Well, wow, um, you just keep not reaching over as I kick back and think about buying the large size bottle of Bourbon flavored caramel syrup from the "Stop & Rob" convenience store (and we never speak of this to anyone, but I really like a woozy Johnnie Jaye)."

Oh, well, I don't know. I mean, he has been making the effort to makes amends and there was all that Bourbon flavored caramel syrup and all, so, well, sue me, I guess. I mean, we used to have sleep overs anyways back in the day, so, well, sue me, I guess.

"Oh, wow, I guess you are pumped up then, Johnnie Jaye?"

"Just make sure that the 40 is in a small brown paper bag like they use on skid row."

"Johnnie Jaye, do you even know what skid row is? I mean, you've always lived in Narnia and all."

"Oh, do you want to go back and forth with me or do you want to be hero who delivers wine coolers to the roomie and her friends, Charlie?"

"Ugh, Johnnie Jaye, am I going to have to watch you and Mr. 40?"

"No, not all, Charlie. And throw nasty napkins away on your way into the store. Sex is gross afterwards, right? And hand stuff is all I've ever done, so stop thinking about stuff (but you can ask me about seeing my belly button another day)."

LOL, I could see threw the store windows that, LOL, the SOB actually bought a bottle of syrup! I mean, it's just Bourbon flavored, right?

"Flash your lights twice, Charlie and stick the wine coolers out of the window as soon as the roomie approaches your SUV. So, how do I look?"

"Like batteries were included."

"(Cheek kiss) good luck and try to not pass out. I won't be long. Sadie only allows me 10 minutes."

"And just which of her amazing and dainty fingers are you wrapped around, Johnnie Jaye?"

Hah, cute come back, right? But Sadie and her friends took care of that back-and-forth convo. I mean, Sadie, right? My savior, my roomie, my protector and LOL, my boss (dominatrix).

"First of all, roomie because it's my thing now (with arms crossed), hmmm!!!! However, your boyfriend Kent filled out a permission slip, so set the timer on your phone for 15 minutes and I'm checking you later for dirt and grass stains!"

Wow, 15 minutes! I mean, I was setting a timer and opening the SUV door.

"Charlie, these are my serial killer goth friends, Franny and Sandi. Now listen, thanks for the wine coolers and thanks for keeping Johnnie Jaye safe up to this point in the evening. Anyways, the girls and I have been talking and if you can promise that your nerd reunion mixer will deliver shower fresh with neatly combed hair nerds, well, the three of us may and I say "may" be willing to conduct a small and private goth lingerie show at the same time (on Johnnie Jaye's credit card, of course). So????"

"OMG, he died!"

"LOL, no Franny, he passed out."

"But he's foaming from the, ah, from the pants!"

"Well, I still want some new lingerie."

"Wait, that foam stain looks, ah, old."

Hey, I warned him and wished him good luck and all. Also, hey, I had 15 minutes on the clock and a suiter named Kent to find, so Charlie was on his own

"Hey, I brought you a 40, Kent."

"Crinkle the bag just a little more with your hands, Johnnie Jaye, just a little more (because hand stuff is all that you do, damn it)."

"Alright, so, um, I'm hosting a small mixer soon, maybe. I mean, you can come over and all."

"Oh, well, I'm sure Sadie will distribute permission slips soon then. Let's go for a stroll."

I mean, the tree line just off of the river banks, right? I mean, the stupid bugs and all, but a nice piece of privacy.

"How many minutes do we have, Johnnie Jaye?"

"Thirteen. I'm going to pull it out this time, alright Kent (that's at least something different, right)?"

Wow, I mean, the lingering effects of the fake Bourbon flavored caramel topping, right?

"Johnnie Jaye, are you drunk or something? I mean, get the flesh of your hands on me for sure, but, whoa, oh, oh, yeah, Johnnie Jaye, ooh, ah, that's the stuff baby, that's the stuff."

"Come to my nerd reunion party Kent and I promise to try to sneak upstairs to my loft (stroke, stroke, flip, flap, stroke)."

"No tease this time? Or permission slips?"

"Well, just one long form if you want me to kiss it, but, LOL, I have a stash of signed blanks in my undie's drawer, so??? Come to my party, Kent?"

"Oh, I'm coming alright, Johnnie Jaye (who finally figured out how to cheat the Sadie system). Hmmm, hm, hmm, hmm, oh, oh, hmm. Hmmm. Ugh, rub it off Johnnie Jaye, rub it off like Sadie doesn't actually own you."

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

"Times up, Kent. And LOL, apparently, so is yours, so."

Text, text, text, text, text, text.

"Remember Kent, I promise to do more next time."

"Oh, we won't be forgetting that anytime soon, Johnnie Jaye (because the next one goes deep inside of you)."

Text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text.

Yeah, six incoming texts that are followed by eleven incoming texts is a sure sign to put it in gear and get a move on. Which I did

"OMG, what did you girls do to my friend? Is he breathing?"

"LOL, he's fine. And apparently, your nerd reunion mixer is a guarantee now. Anyways Johnnie Jaye, ah, hmmm!!!! And notice how tightly my arms are crossed too (hand slut)."

"Snap, move over Charlie, I'm driving and I'm putting it in gear right now before the sun fully sets below the horizon!"

"I died, right Johnnie Jaye? I mean, those girls were real, right?"

"LOL, oh, you're in heaven right now alright, but trust me, you didn't die (yet, LOL, wait to Franny shows her true colors and empties your balls from a different way). Hold on tight because your SUV is at risk of turning into a pumpkin at any moment."

Not a bad night out for me, right folks? I mean, except for all the red lights I ran with the traffic cameras and all, but you know, Charlie is in such a daze that he'll probably just assume that it was himself behind the wheel.

End Johnnie Jaye 01