All Comments on 'Johnny Diamond is a Solitary Man'

It seemed like you spent too much time trying to be clever and forgot to write a coherent story that all could enjoy.

Weak. Story is all over the place. Even factually. No public lottery near $69 million in the 60's or early 70's.

Good but depressing

I'm not one for sad, introspective stories, I come to lit for happy endings, in multiple aspects of the term. However, this was well written, and the message was clear, learning had not occurred.

As i heard once before, sounding like coulda, woulda, shoulda...

Great one you sure have talent!

This is his first foray into LW, and he's entering the charts at #1. Truly excellent, a QuickMagazine 5, for sure. Did a little research through his Lit pages, and found that this is a re-working and expansion of "Red-Thong Girl In The Elevator," which dmallord posted elsewhere on the site earlier this year. Sort of a dress rehearsal, I suppose. This story traced the song's first verse well, and, like that song, offered no resolution for the narrator. Other than wisdom learned too late. Or is it? Maybe THIS Donald will come back, to LW, with a sequel.

Decent enough

Good story!

4

Thank you for taking the time to read my first submission in LW. I'm an old-timer new to writing stories. Statistically, only about 2% of Lit viewers ever vote or make comments. So I appreciate the time you have taken to do so.

My story is tagged allegorical, a story within a story meant as a teaching point. It also fits the Lit guidelines in the LW category and other categories. I made the conscious decision to post it here rather than in another category. It was one of my writing goals in the time I have left in life.

I know that with millions of readers, I would not write a story that all could enjoy, but at least a number greater than one hundred might find palatable and worthy of their time spent reading it. I take writing seriously and write to make it enjoyable as best as I can. Along the way, I also make a few errors, e.g., the 'blog' mentioned wasn't possible in those times, but it served its purpose. I'll correct that. As to the lottery, New York in 1967 started its state lottery and collected $59 million in the first year alone. So by '69, stretching one's mind a bit, it could have been $69 million; but that didn't matter. Johnny didn't buy a ticket; that's what counted. It's just all fiction, you know. It just takes a bit of believability to see beyond and into the story behind the story of Johnny Diamond's miss opportunity in life when he lost Belinda.

The comment about entering the charts at #1 isn't clear to me, or the reference to QuickMagazine. I'll look those up. I do appreciate the encouragement offered in the comment, however. Time permitting, I write another, aiming to get better.

I enjoyed the writing exercise as the commenter noted it was an extended body of work from a previous iteration on a theme. Hopefully, it resonates with more readers in the Loving Wives venue.

As Steven Tyler once said , “love in an elevator love me up while I’m going down” ! It seems to me that you didn’t get off on your floor often enough and got stuck in the shaft while someone else pushed the buttons to her floor and by the time you reached the lobby your doors wouldn’t open but hers would and she took on an elevator attendant to raise and lower her inhibitions from then on ! So while she was a smooth operator sliding up and down his elevator shaft you just got shafted !

Although your stories are okay, they could be much better. Do you remember the episode of Mash when Radar was taking the writing course? Well Radar, you could learn from it. No offense, just my opinion.

He really messed up with Belinda, and now he’s spending a life time of regret. It’s sad she couldn’t get through to him, but she did try. Oh well, c’est la vie.

Many young men today have seen first hand how their parents who grew up from broken familes were left hollow,

Running from one extreme to the other, hence many men now focus on finding happiness within first.

Its not most men or majority, as many men still are fooled by desires of the now, you hear about them every day.