Joint Venture

"You laid out a spread just for us?" she mused, walking over to the table and inspecting the flower. She reached out and ran a clawed finger over its blue petals, smiling to herself. "Just like the orchids from Haros, where I grew up. It's sweet of you to remember, Simon."

She turned to face him, rubbing her upper arm as she waited by the table.

"Why does this feel so awkward?" Simon finally asked, his laughter cutting through the tension like a knife. Val began to chuckle too, relaxing somewhat as she put a hand to her mouth.

"Right? This isn't us, all this formality. Who cares about protocol? Let's just...hang out like we always do."

Simon strode over to her and set the champagne bottle on the table, resting his hands about her narrow waist. He reached up to kiss her, feeling Val's fingers delve into his hair, the two sharing a brief embrace.

"I'm really happy you came," Simon said, "but I wouldn't have held it against you if you hadn't."

"I don't want this to be weird," she replied, releasing her hold on him. "I know that we've both done a ton of research, and we've already decided that we're going to...y'know. But let's try to be spontaneous, okay? Treat it like a normal date, and let's make-believe that we're going to see where the night takes us."

"Agreed," he replied, relieved that she was still on board with their plan. He reached over and picked up the bottle again, Val smirking at him. "You know what goes well with champagne? Popcorn and party mix. Come one, I'll show you what I picked up."

Simon made his way over to the fridge with the curious Turian in tow, opening the door and rummaging around inside.

"I got dextro sodas, dextro beers, dextro snacks. I'm trying my hand at cooking a three-course dextro meal, too, so apologies in advance if I poison you to death."

"I think you'll do alright," she said, leaning over to peer inside. "Oh damn, you got dex chocolate too? Gimme!"

He handed her the bar over his shoulder, and she began to unwrap it, taking a generous bite and chewing contentedly.

"This date is already a success," she mumbled, talking with her mouth full. "Do you know how hard it is for them to make this stuff?"

"At least I have some idea of what to get your for Valentine's Day," he added. "What do you want? A soda? Something with a bit more of a kick? I can't drink this stuff, literally, so don't be polite. What you don't eat is going straight into the matter recycler."

"I'll take a beer," she replied over another mouthful of chocolate, "might as well get a buzz going."

They grabbed a few snacks, Simon making sure to use separate bowls so as not to risk mixing levo and dextro food. He set them down on the coffee table in front of the couch, Val flopping down beside him and cracking open her beer with a hiss. She quickly raised it to her mouth to catch the escaping foam, Simon chuckling as she struggled to drink it.

"What do you want to watch?" he asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn. "I couldn't find anything that promoted inter-species harmony between Humans and Turians, only ones where they were shooting at each other."

"Ah, that's not bad!" she gasped as she set down her beer. "Where did you get this? I think the lettering is Quarian."

"Yeah, some Quarian dude down in the Ward sold it to me," he replied. "I guess he wasn't trying to scam me after all."

"Let's see...what to watch," she muttered, lifting the remote and scrolling through the menu.

"How about a romantic comedy or something like that?" Simon asked hesitantly.

"What, are you trying to set the mood?" Val chuckled as she gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. "I'm already here, you nerd, the wooing phase is long over. Besides, if you wanted to woo me, you'd show me an exciting action movie."

"That does seem more your style," he said, snatching the remote. "Alright then, how about some Human action movies? Knowing you, you've probably devoured all of the Turian content already."

"How about this?" she suggested, grabbing his wrist. She squeezed it until he relinquished the remote, catching it in her hand and giving him a mischievous smirk. As if he needed to be reminded that she was a trained C-Sec officer. "First, we watch a Turian movie, then we watch a Human movie. A double feature, call it a cultural exchange."

"Why do I get the feeling that this is becoming a competition?" Simon asked skeptically, Val giving him a wry smile.

"We Turians are a competitive people."

"Alright then," he said, picking up the champagne bottle. "You're on. By the way, don't be alarmed. This is going to sound like a gunshot, but I promise there are no Batarian gangsters sneaking up on you."

"What do you-"

Her question was cut off as he popped the cork on the champagne bottle, a loud bang echoing through the apartment as it bounced off the far wall, foam erupting forth. He moved it away from the couch, laughing and cursing as it poured onto the carpet, Val quickly overcoming her alarm as she joined him.

"Do drinks from Earth usually do that?" she chuckled. "I should book you for detonating an explosive device on the Citadel, you know."

"I don't know if we're ready for cops and robbers roleplay yet," he replied, Val snorting into her beer.

"I didn't bring any handcuffs, so you're safe," she giggled as she wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "Okay, this one," she added with a gesture to the monitor.

"Spirit of the Unit?" Simon asked skeptically, "I'm assuming that's a translation that didn't quite hit the mark?"

"Just give it a chance," she said, nudging him with her pointy elbow. "It's about a team of Turian Saboteurs who get trapped behind enemy lines during the Rachni wars, and have to make it out on their own."

"Is it a true story?" Simon asked.

"Eh, it's a little embellished," she replied with a shrug. "Good movie, though."

"Alright, let's do it. The night's still young."

***

The movie was winding down, the intense action scenes of Turians and Krogans killing swathes of the insectoid Rachni giving way to drama. One of the soldiers was returning to his home on Palaven, his wife greeting him at the door with their child bundled up in her arms.

The two aliens touched foreheads, the shot lingering on them as though something profound was happening. In a Human movie, this scene would probably have been punctuated by a passionate kiss, but they were just pressing their faceplates together.

"What are they doing?" Simon asked, shoveling another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"That's one of the ways that Turians show affection," Val explained, clearly more moved by the scene that he was. "We don't do that much kissing," she added, tapping a claw against her beak-like mouthparts. "Come here, I'll show you."

She shuffled closer to him on the couch as the credits began to roll, Simon swallowing his popcorn as he peered up into her eyes. She reached out and took his cheeks in her hands, squeezing them, a grin splitting her face.

"Humans are so squishy," she snickered. "Okay, seriously now..."

As she drew in close, she pressed the leathery plate that made up her forehead against Simon's, cradling his face in her palms. Her scales were cool against his rapidly warming skin, her slightly metallic scent reaching his nose. He could see how this was more natural to a Turian, it was more comfortable than bumping their mandibles together, like a kind of Eskimo kiss. The longer she lingered, the more intimate it seemed to become, their close proximity giving him little choice but to meet her gaze.

"Uh...how long do we do this for?" he asked, but she pressed a finger to his lips to silence him.

"Shhhh," Val whispered, "just enjoy it..."

She shuffled a little closer, Simon letting his hands rest around her hips.

"Your face is so warm," she added with a chuckle, "it feels nice."

Val leaned against the backrest of the couch, bringing him along with her, the two of them reclining as she kept their foreheads connected. Simon was starting to see how relaxing this could be now, the rapid thudding of his heart beginning to slow.

"Some couples might go to sleep like this," she murmured, batting her lashes at him. "Perhaps I could show you later tonight?"

The reminder that they were going to be sharing a bed in only a few hours set his heart racing again, Val chuckling to herself as she felt his cheeks flush.

"I'd like that," he replied.

"I can tell," she snickered, turning up his chin with a clawed finger. "You're a lot easier to kiss than a Turian," she whispered, Simon meeting her embrace as she pressed closer. Her tapered, blue tongue slipped past his lips, entwining with his own. Their pace was more passionate this time, less restrained now that they were out of public view, Val's doting flurries and gentle pecks sending pleasant shivers crawling down his spine. For someone who apparently didn't do much kissing, she was taking to it like a duck to water.

He leaned into her as he matched her pace, the texture of her smooth, damp muscle like wet satin as it explored him. She drew shapes on the roof of his mouth, her light touch tickling him, her breathing growing heavier as he responded in kind.

They were mismatched, neither one of them really knowing what to do, making their encounter rather clumsy. One of Val's mandibles scraped against his cheek, and she felt him flinch, the Turian breaking off to apologize.

"S-sorry," she stammered, "I'm still trying to figure this out."

"Don't apologize," Simon said, taking a moment to catch his breath. "Just keep kissing me."

Their lips joined again, Val's tongue roving covetously. She was growing more confident and less restrained as they went. Simon felt her fingers stroke his cheek as she let more of her weight rest on him, her digits sliding up into his hair. She always seemed to enjoy its texture, stroking him like one might pet a cat, her sharp claws pricking his scalp in a way that he found oddly pleasant.

He returned the gesture, raising a hand to run his fingers across her painted cheek, feeling the armored plating shift as the muscle beneath it flexed at his touch. What he had read on the extranet had been true, the plates on their faces were sensitive.

His fingers traced the unfamiliar contours of her alien face, exploring her strange anatomy. It really did feel more like leather than bone, more flexible, with a slight give to it. Its subtly pocked surface reminded him of dry stone, but it was warmer, tangibly alive. It moved with him, her every expression making the plates shift, dispelling the notion that it was an immovable mask.

She broke off their kiss, pushing her face into his palm and nuzzling contentedly.

"That feels nice," she murmured, "you've never touched me like this before."

"I've been doing my homework."

"You're a model student," Val chuckled, leaning in to give him another teasing kiss. "We shouldn't get ahead of ourselves, though. Are you hungry yet? Do you want to eat?"

"Sure," he replied, taking the hint. "I could go for some food."

They pulled away from each other, taking a minute to cool off as the tail-end of the credits scrolled down the screen, the pair exchanging lingering glances. They both knew where the night was taking them, but like Val had said, they should act as though this was a date like any other. It was just more romantic that way.

When the movie was finished, they moved to the dining table, as small as it was. Simon brought his champagne with him and fetched another beer for Val. The alcohol was already doing a good job of mellowing them out. Getting drunk would be a bad idea, but some responsible drinking could help loosen the tongue.

Val's eyes lit up as he emerged from the adjoining kitchen area with the plates of food balanced precariously in his hands, placing the first of three courses before her. He wasn't quite sure what they were called, but they were somewhat equivalent to shrimp, a kind of crustacean native to Palaven that had blue-tinted flesh in lieu of the usual white. He had removed the limbs and heads, leaving just the fleshy tails. She dipped one of them into the small cup of white sauce around which they had been decoratively arranged, popping it into her mouth and chewing contentedly.

"Simon," she began, scarcely pausing between bites. "When you said that you'd be cooking for me, I wasn't expecting you to go this far. I feel kind of guilty, I must be eating through most of your paycheck for this month."

"I wanted to make something authentic," he replied, taking a seat opposite her. "You can buy stuff from the Turian aisle at the supermarket any day, there's nothing special about that."

"What are you having?" she asked, gesturing to his plate with her fork.

"This is called salmon," he explained, lifting a slice of pink flesh. "It's a kind of fish from Earth, I figured I'd go with a seafood theme for the entree. I'm eating it with blinis, they're like little pancakes, and some sour cream for extra flavor."

"I'm a fan of seafood," Val said as she popped another of the crustaceans into her mouth. "Was that a guess, or am I going to have to arrest you for espionage, too?"

"Pretty sure you've mentioned it before," he chuckled, taking another sip of his champagne.

"Is the drink good?" Val asked, nodding to the glass of bubbling liquid.

"Too much for my own good," he replied, setting it down on the table. "Better pace myself."

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you drunk," she began with a smirk. She speared another piece of alien shrimp, marinating it in the viscous sauce. "I've seen you drink, yeah, but I've never seen you go off the rails."

"Don't Turians look down on that kind of thing?" he asked. "I thought you guys were all about civic duty?"

"Not necessarily," Val said with a shrug. "In fact, the Turian Hierarchy is a lot more lenient when it comes to things like the recreational use of alcohol and drugs. As long as you show up to do your job unimpaired, nobody really cares what you do in your spare time. The Systems Alliance is much more strict about controlled substances, the Citadel too. There's gotta be a couple of major drug busts a week, mostly Blue Suns gang members trying to get stuff through the docks."

"Huh," Simon mused, genuinely surprised by her reply. "I guess you Turians work hard, and you play hard. For your information, I handle my drink pretty well. I'm not in the habit of getting plastered, just...tastefully inebriated."

***

They chatted about work and other personal matters as they made their way to the main course, making small-talk and sharing gossip about the goings-on at their respective workplaces. The second dish was just as much of a hit as the first, Val digging into some kind of meat platter that had been rather difficult to prepare. Turians didn't seem to eat many fruits or vegetables, their diet was primarily carnivorous. Simon had gone out of his way to find as many authentic Turian ingredients as possible, and his guest seemed about as impressed as he had hoped. It might have been a very long time since she had eaten a home-cooked meal in the traditional style of her home planet.

Well, Val had grown up on the colony world of Quadim, but it was enough of a struggle to find ingredients from the homeworld, let alone any of the colonies.

When he brought out the dessert, she was even more pleased. There was a Turian dish that could only be described as a kind of custard served with what resembled a slice of gelatin, likely some other type of animal byproduct. He had grated another bar of dextro chocolate over the top as a final touch, giving it a little Human flair.

She dug into it happily, bringing the spoon to her mouth and savoring the taste.

"You're gonna ruin my waistline," she said, "this stuff is great."

"I just put a new spin on an old recipe," Simon replied, watching her with a grin. "It's a traditional dessert from Palaven, so it said on the extranet."

"I've never had it, but I think it's a tradition I want to adopt," she said as she scooped up the last of the custard. She leaned back in her chair, eyeing the array of empty plates with a satisfied expression on her face. "You're a pretty good cook, Simon, and I'm not just humoring you. If you asked me to prepare a Human meal, I wouldn't have a clue where to start. I don't even know what you guys like to eat."

"I can't take too much credit," he replied, finishing off his slice of pumpkin pie. "I mostly just read instructions on a few extranet sites I found. The hard part was actually finding the ingredients without getting swindled by a Quarian or ripped off by a Volus. I swear those guys can just smell when you don't know what you're doing."

"We might have to do this more often," she added, wiping up a drop of custard with her finger and sucking it clean. "Assuming I won't be bankrupting you."

"I think I can deal," he said, rising from his seat. "Want to watch the next movie while we digest?"

"It's your turn to pick," she replied as she set her spoon down. "I guess you've had enough Turian patriotism for one day?"

"I have something I think you'll like," he said cryptically, extending a hand to her. She took it, smiling at him as he led her back over to the couch.

"So what's this one about?" Val asked as they returned to their seats, half-empty bowls of snacks and discarded soda cans strewn atop the coffee table.

"Well, we've already sat through a couple of hours of space battles and mass accelerators, I thought we could watch something a little different. This one takes place on Earth, before we discovered mass effect fields, back in the era of wind-powered sailing ships."

"Wind-powered?" Val asked skeptically, raising one of the painted plates that acted as her eyebrows.

"Don't scoff, it'll be exciting, you'll see. It's all sword fights, muskets, and broadsides."

"If you say so," she said, leaning forward to grab another drink and popping the cap with a hiss of escaping gas.

CHAPTER 3: CULTURAL EXCHANGE

The two characters fenced on the deck of the sinking ship, the ocean spray raining down on them as their blades flashed, their steel clashing. In the background, the other boarders fired muskets, sending billowing smoke into the air as flashes of lightning illuminating the scene.

"They really did this with such primitive technology?" Val marveled, on the edge of her seat as one of the enemy ships fired a full broadside. The cannons thundered, shattering masts and splintering wood, shrapnel sending the actors flying.

"This is how Humans conquered their planet before spreading out into space," Simon replied, taking a sip of his drink. "They called it the age of exploration," he added with a dramatic wave of his hand. "They fought pirates, too, they colonized new continents. Didn't you have sailing ships in Palaven's early history?"

"Nothing like this," she replied, "the oceans on Palaven are a fraction the size of those of Earth. Most of our conflicts took the form of marching across deserts and scrubland to assault enemy fortresses."

"You want another drink, something else to eat?" Simon asked. Val shook her head, then wrapped her arm around his, leaning her head on his shoulder as she watched the climax of the movie.

"It's getting late," she murmured, "movie's nearly over. I've had a good time tonight."

"Yeah?" he asked, smiling down at her as she began to nuzzle his neck. "I wanted everything to go perfectly, I wanted tonight to feel special."

"It already does," she said. Her hand moved to his cheek, turning his face so that she could kiss him again. Her pace was more aggressive now, greedy, all of her prior restraint forgotten. She gripped the collar of his shirt, guiding him on top of her, encouraging him to press her into the padded backrest of the couch as they made out.