Jordy 01

Jordy 01

[Horrific muffled screams coming from inside of the house like someone was strangling a goat]

Hey there, hey, I'm Jordy and I have never ever asked anyone to think of me or to even refer to me as a girl. I don't need to because what I've found out over time is that eventually, after speaking to a pair of colorful cheeks, well, people always end up doing what seems natural, so, I win.

[Ding, dong, ding, dong, front door opens]

"Ugh! What the hell do you want, oh, Jordy, um, well..."

"Roy, Mrs. Matthews from next door is worried that you're strangling a goat!"

"(Don't you dare tell anyone that I texted you!) Ah, come on inside. I may be having a few issues."

"Ahem!"

"Oh, your hair is new, it's pepper woven blonde, um, bottom to top and swept under to the right and curled back over to the left, so?"

And I don't try to train people, but sometimes certain people need a kick start. And sometimes I like to hear things, but I pay back. Oh, LOL, Roy's description of my latest hair style leaves a little to be desired, but he's a work in progress. Roy is my friend, Jack, roomie and he is still a little rough around the edges.

And if I didn't mention it, I pay back.

"So, trouble in paradise then, Roy, hmm? And is the goat, okay?"

"Ha! Ha! Funny, Jordy. The goat is fine, it's this new TV and game console that the roomie bought just before he left town that's about to get strangled! Tee he, not that either of us needs to repeat that to Jack when he gets back home, tee he."

"Oh, and what page of the manual did you get stuck on then, Roy? Page 1? The warnings on the inside cover, hmm?"

"Are you wearing a little less tonight, Jordy?"

"Mm, I am, Roy, but you know, a little less here and a little more there since I'm not going out in public tonight. Um, complaint, Roy?"

[Jordy receives the new manual in his hand that has never been opened since it's printing]

"Nope, just an observation, Jordy, um, I mean, all these cords, right, tee he?"

And about seven minutes later, I had all of the cords laid out, pretty much in sequence, because these days, all an owner is left with is cable and cord connections!

I was also dressed in the outfit that I laid out earlier in the day. I do well in Denim, I do well with pullovers, covered with an unbuttoned 3/4 sleeve shirt and one of these days, I'm going to show everyone just how well I do in a pair of pricey sweat pants that I found in the store. And then, tee he, I may say "ahem" at you and wait for your positive or neutral response on how well I do in those sweat pants. I mean, it's possible that your response might be negative, no further comment.

"Power cables A, B & C!"

[Extends hand after pointing finger at the appropriate power cables A, B & C]

"Check, power cables A, B & C! So, since you yourself don't consider this as in public then, Jordy, so?"

[Routes and preps, but does not complete the power cord connections]

"USB cables D, C & E! Is there something you want to see, Roy? Or something that you want? We can talk about anything, so? It's how people get to know each other."

"Check, USB cables, D, C & E! Are you hanging out with me tonight, Jordy? And some of the guys are expected in a little while, so?"

[Routes and makes USB cable cord connections]

"Audio-Video cord! The one with three colored ends! Um, I might stick around for a few minutes, but not too long. LOL, I'm just here to save the goat and the new gaming system."

"Check, one Audio-Visual triple color coded cable! Now that's how all cables should be routed and connected, Jordy!"

[Has fun plugging in the three colored terminals while kneeling over that far! Yep, that far!]

"Console cable, USB-A with Mini-B! Did you like that, Roy? Did you enjoy gawking at my boy butt as I bent over, Roy?"

"Check, Console cable, USB-A with Mini-B! Have you ever looked up the word "tease" then, Jordy?"

[Just lays down on the floor to route and makes that cable connection]

"Accessory Cube power adapter kit! I have looked up that word and maybe my picture was there in the past, but not anymore. You might be surprised at a few things, Roy!"

"Check, Accessory Cube power adapter kit! Um, that sounds in my favor then, Jordy, so?"

[Damn, the accessory cube was almost confusing!]

"Mm, maybe, but don't go getting all "aha, aha, aha" on me just yet, Roy. Your buds are expected, remember?"

"Mm, but I can unzip my shorts, right, Jordy?"

"Yep!"

Oh, don't read too much into that, but details to follow. I mean, as I said above, I've never asked anyone to think of me as their girlfriend, but I've put myself into a position before so that might seem natural. And after you've done something once, twice, three times, four times and maybe a few more times, I mean, well, I have Roy trained enough to comment on my hair, so, you know.

[Shorts are being fiddled with at lightning speed, which shows that haste makes waste a true saying!]

"Wait, Jordy, do I have to kiss you?"

"Not this time, Roy."

Another thing that I have learned is that guys like their dicks fondled. Which isn't rocket science, but what I've manage to figure out is that when a guy. Maybe like you, sits on a couch or in a chair, maybe like the furniture in your place, and spreads his legs into a big manspread "V", maybe like you do, it makes for a perfect spot to kneel between and when a guy, like you, has his legs bent as he sits, just like your legs do when you sit down, then his thighs provide perfect spots to prop my forearms on as a pivot point, which makes fondling, right up the middle, easy as pie and natural. That standing up together position is awkward for the angle, but, right up the middle works for both of us! Care for a slice of pie?

[Fumble, fiddle, struggle, see? Haste makes waste, but Roy finally manages]

"Knee hobble walk to me, Jordy! We have to make this count, aha, aha, aha!"

Ugh! Hard wood floors, right? But guys, right? Hobble knee walking right up the middle is important to them.

"Now pinch me so I know I'm awake, Jordy."

Well, I knew how to slide my hand up and down a hard cock, so, that was the same as a pinch. And by the way, um, since everyone is different, I'm experienced enough to handle whatever shape you are. I have the pivot point movement down pat!

And I encourage you to validate my methods with someone that you know. Or ask for a demo from someone you just met. Hi, I'm Jordy.

"OMG, are you kidding me right now, is this happening, I mean..."

[Leans forward and pinches it that way. And a pucker kiss is the same as a pinch]

"OMG, OMG, oh, finally! Slurp, Jordy, make sex sounds!"

LOL, guys, right? Sloppy slurpy sex sounds are important to them.

[Bang, bang, bang! Door flings open! Oops, Jordy jumps up and runs for it, leaving Roy going all "boing" in midair]

"Game day! Game day on the new system! Roy? Roy? Where are you, Roy?"

Well, the guys were Roy's problem since I scrambled up from, you know, my position right up the middle and high tailed into my friend's bedroom. Now, I had been in Jack's bedroom before, but not that way and I've even napped in his bed a couple of times, but I napped alone. I think.

Anyways, the most I've ever done with Jack was to fulfill his "goth" look and makeup theme like three times and suck, er, um, clean birthday cake icing off of his finger at my 18th birthday party. Behind the garage.

[Muffled voices from the living room. Questionable muffled voices from the living room for how Roy seemed so distracted]

And since I've been inside of Jack's bedroom before and knew the layout of his house, I knew how to slip out quietly with a zig, a zag and a zip. I mean, I'm not a trouble maker and to suddenly appear out of nowhere would cause the other guys a moment of pause, right? LOL, and none of them are fags, right?

[Muffled high fives because the gaming system powered up!]

But since my zig, zag, zip escape plan needed a few minutes to evolve, I mean, selfie time, right? On Jack's bed. Not too risqué, but I do well without a shirt, posing with my back to mirror while sitting and standing. I mean, I have a nice and smooth back and just like everyone else, mine transitions right down to the waistband of my undies.

[Muffled high fives because the gaming system powered up!]

And then I thought I might have a little fun with Jack.

[Whoop, outgoing photo text]

"LOL, I'm making a meme from this photo, Jack!"

[Weep, incoming response text]

"U little bitch boy tease! If I was home!"

[Whoop, outgoing response text]

"If U were home, Jack, I'd be naked!"

LOL, it's all fun between friends, right? What wasn't fun was the second "goth" look evening when a simple wrestling match ended up with Jack working his dick up under my costume shorts and going at it like I was his girlfriend. Also, that was so totally fun, so, well, maybe I've done a couple of other things with my friend Jack. But he started it! And OMG, he finished it! Guys, right? They all make a mess!

I did not try to reposition myself for a couple of "pokes" at the target.

[Rap, rap, rap on the roomie's bedroom door]

"(Psst, Jordy, are you inside of Jack's bedroom?)"

"(Shush and go away, Roy! I'm waiting for an escape distraction! I'm protecting you.)"

You see, folks, the math is simple. Having myself all of a sudden pop out of the hallway when the guys didn't know that I was there, added to the mad scramble that Roy must have gone through to fix his shorts, all minus the few moments to get his facial expression out of "aha, aha, aha" mode equals, oops, something funny must have been going on, right? And as I just said, I'm not a trouble maker, so.

Also, I mean, just how long could Roy seemingly "disappear" from the living room, right? Bro buds worked in my favor that time because getting caught talking through his roomie's bedroom wasn't going to help the weird factor.

And Jack should have approached things from a different angle that night of the "under shorts" sex.

Anyways, since an escape plan wasn't just knocking on Jack's bedroom door, well, more selfies are a good way to pass the time and you know, a little peeking around Jack's bedroom, tee he. And since I committed to making a meme, I had time for that.

[Whoop, outgoing meme photo text]

"OMG, he took pictures!"

It was a nice meme. And the most naked I had ever taken a selfie with. Not totally naked, but my meme date caught me half nude on his bed and secretly snapped a few sneaky photos of me. And just half naked because if you know a Tranny Trap like me, then you know it's not about peeling layers of clothing off, it's about getting them back up and in place that creates the issue. And I had to get back to my devious escape plan so I would be ready to slip out with the first distraction.

[Weep, incoming photo response text]

"Make a meme out of this photo, Jordy!"

Huh, that SOB pulled the covers back once while I was napping in his bed! [Saved and filed.] Also, that's not a meme photo, that's a "better than your girlfriend's ass" photo! Well, the fetal position helped, so.

[A muffled voice becomes less muffled as that voice enters the hallway]

"And no cheating while I'm using the bathroom this time guys!"

"Tee he, then try taking less than an hour in the bathroom, Chet! That guy, right, Roy?"

That was not the sound of an escape plan distraction. But it was a great way to crack the door open and peep out into the hallway when I heard all of the commotion.

"(Psst.)"

"What? Is someone there?"

"(Psst.)"

"Who is that inside of..."

[Door flings open, Chet is arm hooked inside of the bedroom]

"Damn! Jordy, you're practically naked and you're..."

"[Mwah, mwah, smooch, smack, mwah] I'm working on an escape plan, Chet!"

"Oh, [mwah, smooch, mwah] and I'm working on bedding you, Jordy!"

"[Mwah, mwah, smooch, smack, mwah] not in Jack's bedroom, you're not, Chet, but here's my escape plan. You're going to help me zig into the bathroom and then check on the guys to see if I can zag to the kitchen, where I'll zip out of the backdoor, got it, Chet?"

"[Mwah, mwah, smooch, smack, mwah] all I heard was that I get to zig, zag and zip with your back door, Jordy, so?"

[Chet reaches down and zip, zag and zigs his zipper down]

"[Mwah, mwah, smooch, smack, mwah] don't call me out for not going that far, Chet."

[Reaches down and it's already there, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke]

"Aha, aha, aha, Jordy, if you make me blow on Jack's bedroom floor, aha, aha, aha, we'll both be dead, aha, aha, aha!"

[Fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke, fap, stroke]

Oh, those words were true, for sure. Besides, I just went through how awkward things are when standing up, so, I slid down to my knees and took care of what I started that way. Oh, first I pushed Chet down on Jack's bed, I mean, I explained my knack for crawling right up the middle already, right?

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"OMG, OMG, Jordy, all this time!"

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"[Inhales] you can let go, Chet, no judgement on your blow speed."

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh!"

[Spurt, splash, sploosh, squirt, release, spew, spew, spew, sploosh, squirt, ooze, ooze, ahh!]

Well, as I said, I've done that a few times before, just not with this crew of my guys.

"(OMG, what are you doing now, Jordy?"

[A funny way to stuff it back inside of his shorts]

"Tee he, milking your drizzle to leave a small wet spot in your boxer briefs, Chet, what else?"

I mean, I said "what else", but that wasn't my normal. It just seemed natural. And nope, Chet didn't care in the end. I mean, guys, right? Milk it all out babe!

And as I said, I pay back and I'm not ashamed of that, so, there was no spillage. Zero, zip.

"Make some coughing noises when you leave the bathroom, Chet and circle around to the far side of the living room so Roy and Harvey turn their heads towards you and that will give me my distraction chance to zip into the bathroom, pause like a secret spy and then zig into the kitchen when you start raising cane for how they reset your score, got it, ready, set, go!"

Well, I thought zip and zig would move along a little quicker. But then again, I suppose I have heard of people referring to a movie as being "slow" with its action, so. But I managed my zip diagonal across the hallway to the bathroom, made the door bang as I smacked against it with my invisible stance and then zigged into the kitchen and took a breath!

"Oh, what's this then, huh, Jordy? Sneaking around your boyfriend's..."

"Shush, Harvey and don't you dare call Jack my boyfriend! And that's for his benefit and for the benefit of your left eye, so?"

"Well, it's just a phrase, Jordy, but I'm glad to hear that there is absolutely nothing between the two or you, so, what cha doing then, hmm?"

"Fine, Roy was struggling with the new TV and new gaming system, so I came over to help him a little while ago and then you two barged in and I'm not a trouble maker, so I didn't want you two thinking any weird happened between Roy and myself, so, well, I hid out, the end, so?"

"Proof that you were just hiding out?"

[Ping, shares meme of "OMG, he took pictures" photo]

"You can line up my current outfit, hair and Jack's bed for my time stamp, so?"

"OMG! Jordy, this is your butt? In a thong! That's hot! Oh, I mean, well, butts are universal and you have a nice one. Also, aha, aha, aha!"

[Oops, shared the wrong meme photo! Ping, got it right this time]

"Fine, Harvey, everything I just said about my time stamp proof still lines up and so what if someone creeped a photo of me napping in Jack's bed, hmm? Also, tee he, Harvey, can you repeat that on Chang somewhere, tee he?"

"Hmm, what's your motto then, Jordy? You always pay back, right?"

"[Gulp] easy, Harvey. Everything has an upper limit, so?"

Disclaimer, I never posted in a public forum that my motto was that I always pay back. I just say it ut loud too literally everyone, so.

Guys, right? They always say not to worry, it will be easy!

[Convo, convo, convo, convo, gulp, convo]

"See, Jordy, you're worried over something that will be as easy as pie."

Oh, I had no idea what was instore for me the following evening, other than I shouldn't worry for how easy it would be. But Harvey was quite specific on how I should dress, I mean, huh, Harvey has been paying attention to me to be so specific and right out of my closet, which made that part really easy.

But, huh, Harvey has been paying attention to me, so, huh.

Anyways, I was worried that his request was a little risqué for an evening on the Strip, especially just before dusk, but he did post my creep booty photo on a "Guess Who" thread on Chang, so.

But really, Harvey didn't go to far or anything, but, ooh la, la, that would be my first time out with zero leg coverings! Zero, zip! But again, huh, how did he know that I had such short shorts then?

[Beep, beep, a car, er, a rig pulls up along the side of the Strip]

"Well, OMG! I've heard of you tricking people to your house for a night on the sofa, Freddy, but seriously, now you're loading a sofa up on an ATV trailer and towing it around for instant snuggling up? Sheesh! Also, I didn't mean to say "tricking" as much as I meant to say seducing. You do have a pretty smooth rep, so."

"Ha! Ha! You're funny, Jordy! It's just a sofa for my grand momma and I'm delivering it to her place, so, do you care to go for a ride along, hmm? You can round out our numbers, so?"

"That depends, where does your grand momma live then, hmm? Crossing the state line with me in your car can be considered a crime, so?"

"Um, you're 19 and you're going to open the passenger door yourself, so, stop watching so much TV and my grand momma lives up Snake Bend Trail, so?"

"OMG, your grand momma is a Moonshiner, Freddy?"

"Tee he, well, she used to be the "sweet old grandma" front lady before it became legal and now, well, that's just where she likes to live, so, are you going to even out our numbers or not then, Jordy?"

Hmm, so, one sedan, one trailer, one sofa, one driver, one front passenger and Harvey all alone in the back seat? That doesn't exactly add up to a gang bang since it was Freddy and Hank up front, but it does make sense why my middle and legs shouldn't be all covered up, which is the same as accessible for Harvey in the back seat, right?

Oh, I thought about it! And I even quickly ran the movie scene through my head as I stood on the sidewalk trying to buy a little time and I saw myself plopping into the back seat and landing across Harvey's lap and fidgeting and fiddling around during the ride up Snake Bend Trail and I even saw myself being sneaky and pushing my shorts down and off and then sitting on Harvey's lap as we bounced up and down over the dipsy doodles on the road! Hell, I even came up with an excuse for when Freddy peered into his rearview mirror and noticed that I was sitting on Harvey's lap!

Oh, I would claim that I couldn't see over the headrest, so I was using Harvey as a booster seat. And then he would grin back and me and I either smirked back into his mirror eyes or cried. I never said that my sex life is much more than my hands, my feet, my closed buns and my mouth, so.

But then it flashed in my head that snap, that could actually happen and then it flashed through my mind that, er, a Moonshining camp, right? Nope!

And then what flashed across my eyes was my savings grace! Well, it was the flashing of the raspberries and blueberries on top of the cop car and the "whoop, whoop, whoop" of their siren because dumb ass Freddy doesn't understand parking on the Strip with a trailer in tow.