Jordy 01

And since I was dressed a little on the worker side, I mean, I just started to back step over the sidewalk and hoped that I ended up partially hidden in one the alley access walkways. But my bare legs, right? Well, I mean, I hope Freddy didn't receive an obstructed driving ticket and all, so.

[Beep, beep]

"Jordy, is that you hiding in shadows?"

OMG, who doesn't understand hiding in the shadows vs. screaming out of a car window? Craig.

"Craig, can't you see that this is an active driving violation scene? What don't you understand about flashing cop car lights, hmm?"

Well, he yelled first, so.

"Peek out in the light a little bit, Jordy."

Ah, no! Well, a peep maybe.

"Aww yeah, Jordy! Jump in my car, Jordy."

Eenie Meenie Miny Moe, does Craig want sex or to be my pimp?

"Can't you see how I'm dressed, Craig? I can't run across the sidewalk and then into the street and then nosedive into your SUV without looking like I'm on the clock? And stop screaming! You're drawing attention to us!"

Guys, right? They always want their dates to nosedive into their SUVs in front of the police and in front of all the people!

[Beep, beep, honk]

"I'll swing around into the alley then and you can walk all alone to the alley through the access walkway that you're hiding those legs in, Jordy [beep, beep, beep], so?"

Well, I don't know who invented the automotive horn, but they clearly never went out on a Friday under dressed. However, glancing down the access walkway revealed way too many moving shadows, most of which seemed to be head bobbing back and forth, but with just enough shadow figures leaning up the building walls for me to say, nope!

Besides, I'm small enough to make a mad dash for it anyways, so, that's what I did.

"Hey, you, stop! Stop, um, funny running! Keep that stuff to the alley! Come here!"

Well, you have to listen to the police, so.

"Oh, officer, I was just..."

[Beep, beep, beep]

"Shut it, Craig! Tee he, officer, um, my boyfriend and I were just roleplaying and I promise you, it's over and I'm going to nosedive into his waiting SUV and then be gone, so?"

"Role playing, huh? What's the roleplaying situation then and stop fidgeting."

Fidgeting and shaking in my high tops was the same thing.

"Oh, um, we were roleplaying on, er, he's jealous and he doesn't trust me and now he wants to give me a breathalyzer test, so, you know, alley stuff, so?"

[Beep, beep, beep]

"Well, your roleplaying boyfriend seems to be in a hurry to administrate his breathalyzer device into your ruby red lips!"

"Tee he, thank you for that [peeks at nametag], officer Nate Tate, OMG, Mr. Tate? Junior's dad?"

"(Grump, loser kid of mine) well, Missy, um?"

"Oh, Jordy, Missy Jordy. You may remember me as Jordan. You also may remember rarely closing the bathroom door, but that was a long time ago, tee he, officer Nate Tate!"

"(Grump, whack off material) well..."

"Yep, that too!"

"(Grump, mumble more under my breath) well, Missy Jordy, um, get!"

"Thank you, officer Nate Tate and might I add, 40 something night sticks get a bad rap! Bye!"

Well, I've heard a lot of things, like with Clyde from the "Stop & Rob" convenience and his 40 something wrinkle issues, but I've saw one personally and it was all that, er, shriveled, tee he.

[Funny trotting my ass! An awkward as hell nosedive into Craig's SUV for sure, but weird ass running my ass!]

Not that Craig complained about where my face ended up from my funky nosedive across the front seat of his SUV.

"Aww, yeah, Jordy, let the breathalyzer test commence!"

Well, his breathalyzer machine was already warmed up sure enough and its impression was battling with my face planting, but he had to drive, right?

Besides, I had to sit up straight in the passenger seat and watch Freddy receive a ticket for bringing his own sex sofa to the Strip, which is clearly against the alley rules. I mean, if it had just in the back of a pickup truck, that would have been okay, but a rolling sofa on a trailer? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

"I'm pulling into the alley, Jordy, so?????"

"Oh, um, I've never been to the tunnel of trees that lead to the river's edge, so, I thought we might do that, but if you only want a..."

[Screech! Squeal! Vroom, vroom, vroom! Wheel hop, squeal, wheel hop, screech!]

Well, the other type of sex was in my future anyways and the tunnel of trees is known for first timers, so.

End Jordy 01