All Comments on 'Josh and Raeina Sibling Lovers'

good start. you should try a more relaxed style of writing along with more comfortable words. But it's a great start. keep at it.

Dialogue is the most difficult thing tlo write and even more so to sound believable in moments of passion but this needs more work on it. People just don't talk like this. People tend to simplify their speech in moments of emotion. Perhaps reducing and simplifying direct speech and using indirect speech and description to convey what they are thinking or feeling would work better.

Josh is one lucky young man, a sister like Rae who all the other guys want and he has. This makes one hell of a story . a good read THANKS

“You appear to really be ready...” Who talks like that, especially during sex?

Loved the story. I could not stop reading until it was finished. I love your work and hope to read more. Keep it up!!!!!!!!

I think that this story was written by a 15 year old girl who has been reading romantic novels. None of realistic at all

How will you handle all your joint friends knowing you.

Should have moved far away or had a better story

Use less words and repetition. Gets tedious going to the nth degree for everyday activities.

Great Story. Very hot. Loved it

I wanted to love this story. The sister’s description sounded very sexy. The editing could use some work: in the beginning of the story, the sister is the older sibling; in the middle of the story, the sister is the younger sister; at the end of the story, the sister is the older sister again. The main character boy’s name changed at one part in the middle of the story.

The dialog sounded unnatural from all characters. A girl/woman having sex does not describe sex as her character did in this story. Also, people speak using less detail, not more.

The premise was good but think of what words and phrases people actually use when they converse.

Good luck on future stories.

This is nice but I'm going more for an aww at the end

Dude you need work on how to wrltea realistik dialog. They are so bland and dry.

Stupid bitch sister Rae marries a waiter straighter school, he abuses her yet the dumb bitch does not open a charge tgen she is back home living off her working parents!!! What a useless stupud cunt!!

BADLY WRITTEN AGAIN LIKE YOUR OTHER STORIES

How long does it take to file divorce papers where you live since she was a freshman when it was started but she had 1yr to go before they were filed.

No matter what others have said about your story, I liked it and stroked through most of it.

Babies aren't the spitting image of ANY one!