All Comments on 'Journey through Desolation'

This 'writer' clearly knows NOTHING about Australia!

5 stars.

Without even the fucking respect to face her hubby and tell him it is over. At least if she comes back he can give her 50% of nothing, since the place will probably fail while she has her fucky sucky trip

I mean, I get it. She was fed up. But be a woman and have the common courtesy to at least tell Liam she is done.

. . . Unhappy life.

might need a prof reader was hard to read not really my type of story so wont comment or vote

That’s time wasted on a poorly written and definitely not a loving wife story.

Forget the naysayers. Idiot husband deserves 'her lust for life' because of his selfishness and stupidity.

Get a new random word generator. This was awful.

I would suggest you pass a freshman high school English course before you attempt to write your next insipid story.

And this is the asshole who can give her what she "needs"? Will you include the next chapter, where Shaka has moved on to his next conquest, leaving this bimbo penniless, pregnant, and with a variety of venereal diseases she contracted fucking Shaka's friends (customers?)? She will discover that while she was enjoying the sex and the drugs and the exciting life of a musician's slut she has been divorced in absentia. At least she doesn't have to contend with sharing any of Liam's dirty grubby sweat-soaked money.

The journey through desolation is behind her now. Now she will be living in desolation. Write that chapter.

One phrase define this story as being a racist one: "He loved fucking needy married women. They all craved black cock."...So the wife was a secondary character, with no face, no soul, put in this bad story to make this racist phrase seem to be really true...1*

first and under abandonment. she's a useless attention whore living in the now. her scum bag seducer wont want to marry her, that's for sure. he'll use her for a year or two...with other dumb side thots. she'll lose valuable baby making years, and lose sexual market value....and the ex she neglected could always tell her future spouses what she did in the past. her future is fucked.

she'll have to work more and more the older she gets. no family to support her too. very funny.but that's what women want right? to work as hard as a man?

1*

Stick to the kind of story U usually submit, LW not your forte'

but not your story. The comments turned me off. If what you claim the only thing I can come up with is that flying almost to space cost you your manhood. I get the association with Black Bird and Black Man but would your fellow pilots see it the same way? Because I didn't read this I will be nice and not rate it either.

You might not want to believe his bio. He says that he’s bi, but SR71 was retired in 1999. That means he was at the very least in officer’s training and flight school before don’t ask, don’t tell. SR71 pilots had to undergo very rigorous background checks, and no homosexual would have ever made it into the program.

This is what earned your single star.

This is becoming a LW staple. The white wife falling prey to the mythical bbc. Marriage instantly gone. No explanation, no regrets. Total bullshit.

So interesting to see the negative feedback. Mine is very positive. Great story. Great writer.

A bar car in never added to the Melbourne -Sydney XPT, there are none in the fleet. The buffet (not cafe) car does sell beer and wine, but no spirits. There is no place to stand or sit in the buffet car, all drinks (and food) are taken back to your seat.

This was not about being married, this was just more bash the white man horse shit.

Dragon never said that he was gay, but bi; or do you consider them to be equivalent.

While I DO think he was being sarcastic, if you take him literally he's not claiming that he WAS gay, but that flying that close to space change him!

Sorry, but this is exactly how I imagined a gay man would write about a heterosexual encounter. Two self-absorbed narcissists whose fascination with each other will last about ten minutes and an anonymous husband whose lack of sensitivity is the excuse for their narcissism.

. . . if I considered bi and homosexual to be equivalent. I’ll just quote a trucking superintendent I once knew: “You can drive a truck for twenty years and still not be a truck driver, but suck just one dick and you’re a cocksucker for life.” 😀

Firstly, the whole of Australia is not one big desolate desert. The coastal regions have wonderful beaches, rich farm lands and in the north lush rainforests.

Secondly, the Hunter Valley is also not some dry dust bowl. It's a large beautiful valley surrounded by mountains with several rivers flowing through it. Some of the best red wines in the world are made there.

Thirdly, do your research on things such as the XPT, you clearly know nothing about how its run. It's not hard. A quick google search would have provided adequate info to make your story have a basis in reality.

Lastly, put your story in the most appropriate category/genre. This one belonged in IR rather than LW.

PS: Sorry, but by your descriptions and the way you word sentences you sound like a gay man who wishes he was a woman. Perhaps better to keep to the male POV. Why not write a gay story?

Nothing to like here. If this is a FreeBird story to you, your Lynyrd needs Skynning.

Good for the author for trying to stretch the repertoire, but epic fail. we

It matters this is a very bad story, racist and all, and should be in the trash not here.

So, you also believe that a wife who invites another woman into their bed, and eats her pussy, is a lesbian?

As for "cocksucker for life," we've all heard "once a cheater, always a cheater," but there ARE people who cheat once and never cheat again, so yeah, a guy who sucks one cock may be a cocksucker for life, it still doesn't make him gay!

I like to think of myself as a kind of Devil's Advocate. I read a story and it either sits well with me or it doesn't. If I choose to make a comment on a story I don't read I still do a little research first.

About sr71plt

1002 submissions

plenty of red H's and some green E's (I don't know what they are but he has them)

149 submissions in other than Gay male or Trans (I put those the same category)

8 of those in L/W

7 of those were 4 or better

And then this 249 at time of my comment

No I didn't read his other L/W submissions (maybe some day) so to answer your comment 'Why not write a gay story?' he has 853 times.

Reed he just said he was a pilot of the sr71 not his age, it might have only take one flight to change him.

For the record, yes, I've been to Australia. I've been to Melbourne and Sydney (and around New Zealand on a cruise from Sydney)--and loved the country and cities, and I've ridden the train from Melbourne to Sydney both during the day (the landscape from the train is desolate outside the cities) and at night (and I've been to most everywhere else in the world too, and can compare). No, there's no bar car on that train, but I needed it for the story, tried to make it sound like it was unusual, and if you don't know about literary license, you probably shouldn't be so anal retentive as to be reading fiction. And, yes, I've been to Newcastle and to the Hunter Valley--and out to the end of the Hunter Valley where the lushness of the valley peters out and where the vineyards become hard scrabble work in desolate surroundings. For the literary challenged, "desolation" was being played on the two levels of the landscape (taking the day train from Melbourne to Sydney in January was, indeed, one of the most boring twelve hours of my life) and the protagonist's life. The man on the train was there as an extreme change of pace for the protagonist, not as a "happy ever after" ideal man to please the juvenile reader on some elementary school level or some man who has been jilted in life and is out to take it out on anyone posting a story to Loving Wives. As for the category, look again at what the Web site says this category is. This story meets that criterium, and if you personally don't think so, you can stuff it. The Green Es on my list refer to Editor's Choices--stories that Laurel, the editor, have identified as especially good reading. I have 11 of them, including one for a previous Loving Wife story, so if you don't think I can write to the Loving Wives category as defined by Laurel, the site editor, feel free to show me YOUR list of Loving Wife stories. I wrote this to contribute to a special Australia category exercise, not to try to please those who love to criticize and fight in the Loving Wives category, because pleasing those who obsess over this category ain't gonna happen.

Seemed a bit choppy and could have flowed better. The characters were well drawn and the set up worked. The bar car, scenery and the valley are pretty lame nit picks. The story had a lot more depth than most and was enjoyable. 4 🌟 easily.

I suppose the fact that this is an LW story attracted the absurd/ignorant comments. I have done the train journey myself and know the Upper Hunter very well (And the guy that said the Hunter was a red wine region! oh dear - it's best wine is Semillon, but you do get a variety of decent stuff in the upper Hunter - better than around Cessnock in the Lower Hunter.

Anyway back to the story - well written by a highly competent artisan (Big compliment)

Three characters, including Liam, all well drawn. The most important point to get perhaps, is that it is a journey through psychological desolation for the heroine as much as a physical journey. A tight write, no superfluous verbiage. Easy 5.