All Comments on 'Just a Little Magic Ch. 16'

As usual, great story but always, the ending a bit bland. Still, I enjoyed it.

Why tease us with how much Pete improved without going into details… I hope you have even more fun writing a sequel! :)

I think the story is great. The only thing I want to mention is: it's hard to follow the story in some parts with so many different characters. The overall story would've been better if you had sticked to 7 women...

I do like the plot, I do like that you took your time (although some parts with all different characters felt - understandably - rushed) and I especially like all the emotional parts in the story. Very well done!

Straight gives, all the way through.

A completed plot line. Very satisfying experience. Don’t ever stop. Your powers shall grow as your humanity expands.

Thank you!

Bri

Not too long. In fact, I would continue reading if there was more. Very enjoyable story.

Loved it. There ar no 5's in my world but I'll give you a solid 4. Great job!

Wonderful work! Thank you for taking the time to pay attention to such detail and rounding the story off in such a magnificent fashion. I am an avid reader on this website and I am most impressed with your writing. Flawless English and imaginative plot, worth 5 stars all day long!

Solid 5 for creating a story that held me, not just a "hello, let's fuck" story..

Great read! I just finished this story for the second time. First time was about 15-16 months ago. Thank you for the writing…….

Absolutely great story.

The denouement was handled well too

Thank you

Very good story. Kept me interested throughout even when I thought no one could miss all the signs. Thank you I enjoyed this read.

I enjoyed the story but it was too long for what we got. Janine and Lillian needed better punishment or understanding of their mischief for Janine to be setting in the pub and he ignored her that’s lazy writing.. Good plot well set up just not fully executed. Other than his work at the children hospital what good has the magic done to anyone? Hardly magical! You have these powers and you can win at poker. He provided help for his mother early getting her to dress sexier but that was the end of using his ability for good. 3 stars.

Loved it. Was hopping for more storys of their futur and possibly more and bigger [roblem in the magic world as we follow him in his new job. Would read more of there adventure.

I would have personnaly liked if he became polygame with at least 2-3 wife of the 13 and have is own mini covenant.

Great story loved it, and will check your other works soon.

Not too long in any way. Just a reasonable length novel.

It's not your fault if some of your readers have a restricted concentration span!

Loved the series. The twist was no worse for having been foreshadowed, and there's a lot of heart. Thanks for your efforts. Would love to see more in the same universe.

I am chronoloically reading everything you've written so far, and am enjoying your style and imagination immensely. Thank you for sharing your work and providing hours of very enjoyable reading. I look forward to your continued forays into so many different genres. Also I had never seen an author devote a chapter to the explanation and experience of creating a story. Thanks for a first hand look through your lens as a writer. May you enjoy continued success as a very creative author. Be Well.

Ez

Brilliant!!!!!

WOW, Total mageic , thank you for sharing such a wonderful tale, as a romantic, I thoroughly enjoyed each and every chapter.

Northpacific2017

Congrats on the win!

Well i for 1 enjoyed every bit of it and would enjoy a continuing of this story.kno ur hard work is enjoyed and appreciated. Thanks

Read this chapter again after your recent award win , its still a great story and a much deserved award, congratulations , J

Excellent. You should consider revisiting these characters in the Mickey Spillane contest. This is the first of your work I've read since the disastrous? ending of the Hvad series. The W caught my eye and I am glad it did.

I came up with the idea that the main controller was being controlled but it was still interesting thinking that maybe that was the twist coming out the other end 2/3 of the way through I was convinced that it was the case but no matter what it was a great story

I'm only disappointed if didn't turn into a harem. But great writing. Hopefully they'll be a sequel to this series when Sophie and Pete are at full strength dogging magical mysteries/crimes.

I just reread this story again and I still love it. It has all the charm and personality that it originally showed off in my first run through. I think I even enjoy it more at certain points but the ending always makes me happily tear up. Thanks again.

Great series, I loved binge reading it; really impressed with the plot twists especially the full moon. Good way to end it too.

I enjoyed it. My only real complaint would be that Lilian and Janine were such pathetic villains. Oh sure, they cast all these spells and did all this cool stuff OUTSIDE of the story wrapping up the minds and intentions of dozens and dozens of people. Masterminding this plan to take over the world (or whatever their coven of 13 was supposed to do) But everything we saw them do was lame.

Honestly when Pete finally broke free I thought we were gonna have an actual clash and Peter was going to have to confront them or hide from them or figure out some way to deal with them. But they were defeated by a group text message for help. They showed up at a strange house with absolutely no game plan and were defeated by tasers? Lilians big play being "Can't we talk about this."

Anyway, that's my only real criticism.

Awesome 👌

5/5. I just wish more content at the end with the villains after they were exposed

Nato_

Great story, I really enjoyed it. I don't think I have read a story here this long - mostly because I got bored. This one had some boring parts but for the most part was a pretty good rom/com. The about face did surprise me but I don't try to guess the plot on stories as my wife (if it's TV) always guesses correctly and she was not reading with me. Keep up the writing, it's well worth the reads. I hope you publish some books so you can get paid.

Let them think what they want--if too long they could have simply stopped reading -- I imagine most (like me) couldn't quit--Sorry it has to end--looking forward to other stories you have written--

Five stars for a unique and well written tale.

5 stars, obviously.

Well written, and people keep reading. Dickens and James Joyce are capable of the same, but they have far fewer epp’s**, which would probably drop the old guys to 3 stars.

Could he make the 13 into a League of Justice and allow J and L to maintain more firepower? Could Emma Watson play Sophie, Miley Cyrus play Janine? Maybe Meryl Streep as Lillian? Nicole Kidman as Anna? Throw in some Sophie Turners and Dakota Fannings, and you’ve got a Guardians of the Galaxy, pornography edition.

I do appreciate the critics who read the entire book to say that they found the descriptions too detailed. And the 1 critic who read it twice(!) and then in what had to be a 2nd reading repeatedly commented that the foreshadowing was too obvious—in my experience, foreshadowing is often a lot more damn obvious in a 2nd reading, but that’s just me.

One word on good behavior.

The mind control section tends to be a little light on kindness, internal conflict, and ethics. Maybe that’s because one appeal of mind control stories is the ability to commit sexual felonies without consequence. Either the protagonist gets to fuck newly-powerless people, or the aggression is “undone,” often through something like a memory wipe. One aspect of this particular story is that Mr AE actively plays with these ideas. Maybe it’s because he’s a genetic Canadian and therefore incapable of any other sort of approach, but kindness, empathy, and cunnilingus saturate the story (and all his stories). If that bothers readers, they should be warned of his deviance and probably skip all of his writing…

In my comment 2 paragraphs up, I compared this author to Joyce and Dickens, with the caveat that the old guys had fewer epp’s** Two updates: okay, perhaps that would be an overstatement, but if you spent hours reading this story and didn’t think it was a 5, then either you’re looking for Joyce or Dickens (and might want to try a different web site) or you should aim for stories that more obviously give you more epp’s (erections per page).

I enjoyed the story - the entire story - a lot. Especially that it was a story if you know what I mean. Thank you.

I really liked the story. I thought the story was excellent, and a tour de force of writing.

In terms of notes there were SO many characters. I quite often lost track of who was who. By frequently repeating the list of 12 you helped me focus - it helped that Janine and Sophie were on the list.

I did like the diversity of the 12 and you painted good characters for them. I really related to Esther, Vicky and Kavia - I've known people like that - they all felt real to me.

My biggest negative thought was the "vomiting" it was a honking klaxon. I'd have introduced it earlier, more frequently and used misdirection to explain it the first 6 times.

I enjoyed the resolution of the tension in the story.

My 2cents

I loved the story ! Thanks for your time and imagination.

Loved this story. Could not stop reading. Them who commented on it being too long, fail to realise that building characters. Interacting the participants to the story is quite an artform.

I loved how you did so skillfully AspenEssling.

Thanks for a good read.

Fun story. Thanks for sharing your talents. Just FYI… There is a direct flight from South Africa to USA. Delta Airlines flight 201, Atlanta to Johannesburg, 18 and a half hours nonstop.

This is an amazing story. Congratulations.

I got so invested in the love story, that I totally forgot to masturbate through the second half or so.

This was a fantastic story. I’ve never commented here before, and I never intended to when I started reading, but I’ve just been completely unable to stop thinking about this story lately. I absolutely loved it. If I had one complaint it would be me (selfishly) wanting to read more of it. Or to delve deeper into this world you’ve created. I feel like the foundation you laid down was the perfect “first act” of this adventure. Truthfully, it does seem like you ended it in a way to leave the potential for future endeavors.

Everyone has their opinion and suggestion on what should’ve happened. Or how the story should’ve gone. You can’t please everyone. And people here love to tell the authors how the stories should’ve ended. But in many ways I think these adventures here are a way for you, AspernEssling, and other authors to live vicariously through their work. An escape from reality into a world that’s literally, and figuratively, at their fingertips. And I don’t think people realize that. Sure, I would’ve loved to see Pete confront Janine in the bar, or maybe break down after seeing her like I would’ve thought he would have having been manipulated by her for years. Or to dive deeper into the world of witches/archmages that we only saw glimpses into at the end. Or watch how Pete and Sophie’s abilities develop with the help of a trained individual this time around. But this is your story and I appreciate the direction you’ve taken it, even if it does seem like a shame to leave such an amazing world behind.

My last note would be seeing you mention that you didn’t “see this as a masterpiece”, but I think in many ways, it was. Your relationship-moulding, character building, and raw emotion injected into this story was truly something else. I can vividly see Pete’s, Janine’s, Lillian’s, Danielle’s and Sophie face (*especially* Sophie’s) in this story more than I think ever have before. This may very well be my favorite story of all time, at least in those respects. There’s a reason why this short story caught so many peoples’ attention. There are 1000 directions you could take the story from here and I, along with many other people, would happily read along whichever you choose. It would almost feel like a missed opportunity to leave such a fantastically developed world like this behind when there’s so much more to explore. Would be very curious to hear if or when you intend to take this further, and what direction you expect to take this in. Anyways, thanks for the fantastic story and I can’t wait to see where you go from here! Cheers!

This is both creative and original, I am an avid reader of stories I loved this one so much wish there was an epilogue covering him talking to the women that still liked him literally my only complaint. You are very talented for those that said its to long I say get an attention span.

I enjoyed the story quite a lot, very well done. I found the length spot on and the pacing was very good. I was expecting a bit more for the conclusion where the protagonist would break free but I like how it was done. Very good job!

Thanks for an excellent read! I'm looking forward to the next one in your biblio.

It was absolutely perfect!!!! I started 1st chapter at 8 am and finished all of the series at 5pm. Thank you for your amazing work!!!

Dear Author,

Thank you for the story.

I am busy rereading all of your work. Such a clever premise for an erotic story, I was delighted by the way you structured a framework for erotic encounters for the serial monogamist protagonist, so well done. I wildly disagree with folks who criticized the story for its structure and pacing, masterfully done IMO. I am a tremendous fan of the way your mind tells stories, thank you for sharing them with us

Thank you for a great story! I couldn’t stop reading once I started. Looking forward to reading your other writings after this!

I usually use these stories as a good wank.. And then occasionally i get caught up in one of them and kinda forget the sex part. This story line was one of them

Great story and work, and found myself enjoying how well you write.

Thank you very much

I really enjoyed this story, I'm glad it didn't go some place with a harem. I don't think that would have fit him even though he did care about most if not all 13 of them, up to a point.

This would be a great beginning for a PI series! You have so many people already engaged with the characters.

Wow! Great story! I had tears running down my face reading the last two chapters. Nice twist on the good vs bad guy theme. I really hope to see more of same in the Mind Control genre.

And what is wrong with a "too long story"???!!! This was an effort on your part to entertain us, while exercising your writing abilities...see where you could take us...

And, take us you did!! So it was slow going, in spots; at JUST the right points, you sped it up/added twists to the plot/showed us just what you had in mind for Pete, Sophie, and the rest of the cast here. And all of the way, you threw in, for good measure, alcot of love and emotional support for each other on the part of the real characters here!!

The 'end' of the story was bittersweet; I am happy it turned out the way it did, yet yearn to know more about them...is there a sequel planned??!!

The on-going fight between Food and Evil...especially when Good wins out, as it should, is such a turn-on for me when I read a story; AND, you really had me panting to see what was next...not just the physical/sexual part, but the whole "see how this is going to work out" experience.

Thank You for a tale that kept me engrossed in the detail; and for making Pete as human as he is, yet with talent, and an underlying decency that finally came out with his Full Moon realization...a real turning point for the story.

Aunt Anna, Eileen, Rodney...well-played, and such real caring, even in the stripping away of the spells cast on the characters...again, the Good shined through!!

Five**5**Stars for a work that begs even more; only the rating restriction here limits this, and we, the readers, must step into the breach to fill you with the accolades you deserve!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠💯💯💯💯💯

Very good work, thoroughly enjoyed this story :)

Great story, well done

Great series! Really enjoyed it!

There were parts where I felt it was dragging a bit, for sure, but in hindsight it almost adds to the enormity of the whole thing somehow? I don’t know if that makes sense but wanted to share it anyway.

This is the first series I have read by you so will definitely be checking more of your work. Cheers!

I really enjoyed it it was a great read

That was a great read. I think it was the perfect length, I wouldn't have minded hearing more about their lives after the fact but it definitely wasn't too long.

Very beautiful story!

It would be nice to see a spin-off or a follow up to the story where the future of the characters is shown.

Did I miss Danielle’s resolution and the ridding of the spells which bound her? Did she deserve compensation?

Loved it, very well written 👏 keep it up 😀

Another very well written story. Thank you for all the time and energy you put into writing these.

I'm sorry that many people felt this story was too long. I devoured it and loved every moment. You can put me squarely in the camp that it wasn't too long. In fact I'm sorry it ended and appreciative that you fleshed out more of the "after story". I have read other stories you've written and they are all equally good. In fact I'm dying for the next update of your current story. You are a fantastic writer and I hope you continue, I can't express that enough. Sorry this is written as anonymous.

Anyone who thought this story was too long is simply looking for a wham bam thank you ma'am quickie. No, this was, from start to finish, a wonderfully written, well thought-out tale that I thoroughly enjoyed! In fact, after reading several of your other amazing pieces, this one was one of my absolute favourites. Congratulations, and thank you very much!

The sex at the beginning was great, the story at the end better.

Amazing story. Loved it!

Loved the story and your writing. Keep up the good work. The twist of the main character being under control was great.

Read the whole thing and didn't touch my dick once. Great writing.

Absolutely fantastic story. I loved the gradual reveal. Also thank you so much for not doing the boring blow by blow by blow sex scenes, and instead letting the brilliance of the story as a whole shine through. Very engagingly written, it would make an excellent Netflix series.

I thought the Whole Story was well written, good characterizations. No complaint on length, each chapter "Just Right". You, Sir, are a Fine Author. Thank you for posting This, and Other very readable works! Hope you continue. Steve

Fantastic story! Yeah I guessed the twist early on, but it was still fun seeing it unfold. This could definitely be a novel. I would love to see more in this world too, with the same, or different characters. Maybe the other girls, since they are magic potentials?