All Comments on 'Just a Little Magic Ch. 16'

Though I think Vannerbehn's Luck is my favorite of your works in terms of theme and The Gamers is probably my favorite that I've read so far in terms of overall content, I think that this has been your best story from a technical perspective. The pacing is good, though it feels a bit rushed (as it should) during the world tour segments, we see the protagonist grow a great deal over the story, and it had the most satisfying conclusion of all any of your stories.

Please don’t end it. There is so much good stuff to be unlocked.

If you do end it.... you should be proud of your achievement. Great work.

Great story! I’m glad you were enjoying it while you wrote it- it came through in your writing. The idea or suggestion that it was too long might hold true based on the reason the reader was reading, but It allowed the characters to have much more definition and be real. It allowed for it to be a true story. Thank you for sharing your talent!

You always find the emotional truth of your characters and your situations. That's why I enjoy your stories so much.

I loved the story, and I love magic. Will you write another story about magic? Doesn’t have to be mind control, but just that element of fantasy in...fantasy? Heh

Too long??? Rubbish!! - great story and great writing - I have always enjoyed your stories and I hope to read many more.

The twist was unexpected from my point of view but no one ever called me smart and in truth I didn't read a lot of the comments.

Love it - keep going with your writing - I give 5 stars each time

Thanks

Thank you very much for what I understand is a labour of love. It was well-written and you actually put in a lot of effort in order to consistently produce a new chapter at short intervals. I like your perspective, and your dedication to something offered free of charge. My hat off to you and hope you stay healthy, productive and strong in these challenging times!

Thank you for this very good story : I loved it all along !

The last chapter is quite a tease, it may me wonder if there’s going to be, someday a “follow thru” of Pete, Soph & Sammy’s adventures (I know it would be a bit overkill, but one’s can still hopes...).

I’ve read a lot of your stories since episode 15 of 'Just a little Magic' (sort of killing the time before reading the epilogue of this seriously wicked adventure around the world), and have been very glad I did so !

My prefered story from you thus far have been “Gaming : D&D”. Really great !

I’m not a native English speaker (French men here !) but I quiet recognize a good story when I read one...

Keep the great job going !

Absolutely awesome. When the tears came rolling down my cheek I knew I had become emotionally invested in Pete and Sophie’s relationship. Thanks so much.

So what was Janine and Lillian’s plan for nine months in, when the first victim had her baby but three weren’t yet pregnant? Were they going to wait on the kidnapping?

Excellent. Excellent....

5/5 That is limitation otherwise it is 101 of 100

In your story, every word is having special meaning, no unnecessary explanation, no side thought perfectly straight forward.

You understand that readers time is important, and wasting it is CRIME, and so many authors didn't take that in account.

You are master either it is Game, War, or history... Thanks a lot ...

Fantastic story and Thank YOU! Yes, there were times I got frustrated with some of your characters, but the overall story line kept me waiting for more and it was a good ending from my perspective. Again, Thank You!

Aunty Social

Awesome. I thought it was great, with really interesting characters. Personally, I was waiting for a big showdown with his dad, and then a "ohh, we were both fooled" type of thing.

Keep up the good work please.

Who's Emily? (page 1) I think you mean Eileen

I really liked the story, but then I am a tremendous fan of your work . The self flagellation parts dragged at the end of the storyline, but the Happily Ever After worked well. I really like how clever you are in your storylines, you are a delight to read.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this series. I was a little disappointed that it ended so abruptly. More questions unanswered :

Are all of the women his half-sister?

Do they have magic abilities?

Please keep writing

It was a great series and not too long at all. While I got suspicious a chapter or 2 before the full moon, it was still a great reveal and reversal. Keep up the writing and I look forward to reading a new story.

Well done. Personally, I'd have liked some vengeance and for Peter to have more oomph when it was all said and done. But hey, that's okay. It ended well and it was a good story with a guy that was about as much of a bonehead as most of us can be at any given time. Identifiable.

The great thing (for me) about these stories is it leaves me with lessons I learn about what I do and don't like and allows me to incorporate that into the tales I tell. So thanks for the inspiration, on top of the many hours of pleasure reading!

I loved it Thanks

I enjoyed the development of the characters and story line. The interplay of their personalities and affect on the story. Please consider writing more fantasy style stories or maybe revisit Peter and his life.

Thank you for your continued efforts to entertain us.

I loved the story. And its true that janine and lilian would ensure pete couln't figure it out

Too long ? Certainly not. Actually, the resolution felt a bit abrupt and forced, after such a long build up, so I'd actually say it's not long enough ;)

But anyway, that's a mild grief, your story is really good and it's a nice twist to the genre

How to disagree with an author I’m in awe of? Jump straight in! The story was not too long. Yes, some of us may have “guessed” possible twists and outcomes, but until confirmed, a guess is just a stab in the dark. Pete May have been slow, but it was established early on that he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, plus he was under spells. Now that said, this was a really (really) well crafted ending to an absolybrilliant, original and most importantly, entertaining story. Thanks for sharing!

This whole series was great. I have been captivated from the start and checked regularly for any new chapters. Awesome job! This is probably one of the best story lines I have read on here.

Thank you!

I agree with kvalentine. You’re one of my favorite authors here, and this was definitely one of your best. Can’t wait to see what you do next!

I loved the story. Wouldn’t mind a sequel but not sure how you would go about adding a bunch of sex to a story. Pete and Sophie seemed to end up monogamous and that puts a damper on sexually charged sequels.

I enjoyed reading this story and several other series . Therefore I would like to apologize in advance for some criticism ahead. Given that I would never be able to write the story of the same caliber I have no right to opine on this work but here it comes:

I feel that last chapter made the story weaker. The attempt to neatly provide closure to all story lines succeeded but also prevented us from creating future in our mind. It also made Sophie into perfect person with no faults. In my favourite series by you, Westrons, the most interesting part was character development where everyone had some kind of flaw. Here Sophie has none. It may be worth making Ch 16 as an "optional ending".

I'll add mine to the dozens of complimentary reviews... for all the reasons mentioned by others, this was a great story and a delight to read. Thanks so much for sharing your work!

I’d actually love to read more of Pete’s adventures. I was terribly worried the previous installment was the end. I think you wrapped this part of Pete’s story nicely.

Not too long, whole new avenue now, with pete and sophie working together, improving their magic. Please continue the series.

That was an awesome story. You should write more magic stories.

If I think about it and I was a 17 year old nerd who had a woman Megan Fox hot say, You're special and I'm going to teach you how to fuck the living daylights out of as many women as you physically can, ME included. I'm sorry I would have dove in head first. Lets establish the protagonist at the beginning.

1. A nerd and socially limited by being a nerd.

2. 17 years old... you don't know SHIT at 17 years old about the real world.

3. ZERO knowledge that magic was real.

So MS hot comes along, tells you that you're special, and you have a special mission in life involving magic... (Even as she and her hot mom friend or whatever cast spells on you to make you believe them.)

You're never taught how to detect magic. You're education is completely based on screwing women and reading minds to make money. That's it.. zero sum everything else. This is now your life.

I was probably too critical of the main character on reflection... but then again I was a nerd and am really by profession I guess... and if I think about 17 year old me... without the lifetime of experience I have in my late 40's I would be hard pressed to out think the people who did this to him.

Your story was undoubtedly better than I originally thought on reflection about 60% of the way in. I didn't properly put myself in the protagonists shoes.

But real honest here... I want more in this world and setting. I want adventures with the protagonist being a magical investigator... Maybe having to track down a magic villan... perhaps someone that IS abusing mind control...

Just a thought.

Thank you for such an amazing story!

It was perfect.

Despite losing me attention, I stuck with it, and after the 12 women bit, you pulled it together with a solid ending. Thanks!

I agree it was long, but it seemed you had a story you wanted to tell in your own way. It was well written and I enjoyed it. Well dome!

I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you.

You can't possibly have any wallspace for the smallest scrap of wallpaper any more.

Thanks for your widely varied stories!

Loved the story, you did a fantastic job with the plot and character development. Definitely not too long, honestly just thankful you didn’t end it on the cliffhanger from last chapter. Keep writing!!

I thouroughly enjoyed the complete series. The descriptive motivations and details really appealed to my preferences as reader and I congratulate you on a job well done. Loved the Esther component as I am from south africa myself and you captured the mindsets and motivations in that scenario beautifully. Thank you for your work!

Well some of us do think it is a master piece! Thanks for taking out time to write the series, loved it!

Waiting for your next inspiration....

I agree with many comments. The middle part was a bit long, but now that the story is over, I want it to go on. Maybe another story with Pete and Sophie?

Most definitely not too long. In fact, When the truth came out and I could see the beginning of the end, I felt a touch of sadness that the story was ending. You do such a great job at character development that the reader becomes connected to them and through them to the story. Don't ever stop writing, you are fantastic at what you do. I know that you've said in the past that this is a fun hobby for you but should you ever want to tackle a full on novel I'd be one of your biggest supporters. Love your writing.

It's weird sometimes found it too long. I felt the resolution was rushed a bit. I wish we'd see more of the other women in the timeskip, especially Ashley and Mirella.

I otherwise really enjoyed the story.

By the way, in Montréal, a chicken shawarma is called a shish taouk. That's probably what you were going for and it'd had a bit more regionalism to the story.

Excellent story all around. Even if Pete was incredibly slow to catch on, there are two things to consider regarding that. First of all, not knowing the extent of the spells put on him and how often they adjusted or even reinforced those spells could account for his lack of being quick on the uptake. Secondly, you all know somebody that isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and that means that some people are quicker than others at some things but not so good at other things which is probably more the factual belief when it comes to Pete. I enjoyed this tale immensely and I appreciate the fact that so much was invested to make it the best it could be. My only hope is that other stories can be just as amazing and enjoyable. The only sad part is that characters grow on you after awhile and that’s what happened with quite a few of these and I would love to read more of them but that is someone else’s decision for the future. Thanks for this incredible story and all your time and effort you put into it, it was wonderful.

Be well and stay safe.

J.D.

You show a wide diversity in your story telling and I appreciate the lengths you go to keep us entertained in different ways. Looking forward to your next story

Thanks so much! Actually, the story went just long enough, with Pete being SO clueless, that I actually started to believe I was wrong, about 1 chapter before the “no obviously you were right” moment.

Left Hand of Darkness came up during dinner tonight as a book that changed science fiction, and I told my wife about Westrons (we don’t usually talk erotica over dinner). I enjoy seeing you start with something familiar and watching where you take it. Your early stories were often about RPGs, and I feel you have greatly expanded your skills as a dungeon master to have your stories inhabit many possible worlds.

Perfect ending and a great series. It tied things up perfectly. I enjoyed the Batman and Robin callback in it.

Please tell me that this is book 1 to the whole story that Book 2 starts with a new show with the two of them. Book 3 could be about their talented kids at Hogwarts.

Wow. Easily publishable material. Thank you for sharing it!

Ridiculously good, I'd buy this book!

THIS STORY WAS LIKE READING A BOOK ON ANTI-GRAVITY...I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN. IT MADE ME LAUGH, CRY, SCRATCH MY HEAD, GET ANGRY, SAY AHHH, CRINGE...QUITE SIMPLY RUN A CONSTANT GAMUT OF EMOTIONS UNTIL THE END. IT'S A SOLID 5.

I always enjoy your stories, thank you for taking the time to entertain us. KS

Thanks for sharing this story with us; the apology at the end was entirely unnecessary!

I don’t expect good writing here so I have to say you caught be completely flat footed, I really enjoyed the story and the ride.

J

Loved the story! Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

I loved it. I loved how the story was a winding road. I loved how Pete's interaction with each woman was different. I love that you've now created a universe you can build on. I hope you keep writing.

Too long? NOPE! Loved it and just a little sad it's over. Well done

Hey Pete as a magical Detective series would be great too.

Loved this series!

Really good work here. Maybe not a masterpiece but masterful character exposition. I enjoyed it.

First of all, apologies if I don't express myself clearly, English is not my first language. I really enjoyed reading the story, and I am happy that you were enjoying writing it. Surprisingly emotional, very fun and interesting to read. Definitely not too long, if it was shorter it would be difficult to develop story and actors properly. It would be great to read about new adventures with Inquirer / PI, great potential there. Also, if you have ambition to write a book and (e)print it, you got first reader. Thanks a lot for great writing.

I really enjoyed it, although about halfway through it, I guessed Peter was being used. I was thinking, what difference would it make if Peter's father impregnated the women, or Peter did. Whomever could still start the coven.

Loved the story! It was captivating!

As always, a great story. I di think it was pretty obvious that he was being used, and that Aunt Anna had magical power. I was expecting Sophie to reveal that she did, too.

I have read all your work for a long time now and I have to say that I prefer the stories set in the here-and-now over the fantasy stories. It's just easier to identify with the characters and understand their motivations and personalities. Although - Chris as an idiot for not moving to Chicago to be with Nina -- there's nothing in Canada worth staying for anyway! :-)

I loved it. It wasn't too long for me. I was sad to see it come to a conclusion

Great story. Thanks.

Normally I just rate stories, not comment. The other day I was looking for a story on magic. I just needed a quick erotic read. I started of course with part one of this series. It was not what I thought I was looking for. I, however did not find myself wanting to skip parts to look for the sex. Your story was compelling and intriguing. I really wanted to see where it went. Your protagonist was a young man of strong moral quality that was under many spells of compulsion and the more hormonal spell of a sex goddess for lack of a better phrase. Watching him go through his journey was a delightful ride. I didn't even consider that Janine and Lillian were playing him until chapter 5 or 6. I just finished reading it today (June 13th). I now have to read all your other stories. I hope someday my stories are even half as compelling as yours. Thank you for an Amazing read.

wow. author is very talented, and could be a professional writer. fantastic stuff. A good story, well told. The fact that its erotica is secondary.

Easily the best thing I’ve read on the site so far. Would have paid for it in a book. If you haven’t ever considered working with a publisher, maybe you should?

Thanks for writing and sharing this with us here.

You have no need to apologize for the length of this story or the main character being dense. I have read a couple of your stories and this one brought me to the realization that you are on a level with a few of the authors here on this site. Lien_Geller, Tefler,Burnt Redstone, Final Stand and Spector_Dugan to name the ones I consider to be among the best. Your stories have a realism and believability thank you for your work.

As a person that is highly opinionated (even when I'm not asked) I felt like I should offer some. Nothing that I have to say is meant to be negative, just things to think about for the next (Please tell me there is going to be a next one) story you write. There were things that I liked, and some that I didn't. I did like the characters and there different personalities. It did seem like a little foretelling when suddenly Janine almost became a background character. Yes she was there, but after a point it was like hey she is still here but nowhere near as prominent. I liked the storyline, and it was enjoyable(Not too long for me at all). As I wrote on a previous post there was holes that in that was bothering me. Yes a lot of them was filled in for me. One that I never figured out. He would disobey Janine(usually by not telling her things, but also telling her no to sex.)which was a spell he was under to obey them. Another spell he was under was Not to look for his father. It was confusing to me that he could fight some of the rules, but he never once considered finding his dad. I understand with the information that it would be bad and all, but even to go 'hey I could look for my father to.....no that would be bad. I cant let him know about what's going to happen' Now that I think about it he did once think about was he doing the same thing as his Father planned. when he was about to start getting them pregnant.

also, I kind of had a hunch that Peter's dad wasn't behind this. There was too many ways for this powerful archmage to know about their plan. I mean if Lilian can see the future, then other magic users can also(in theory). So we spent years building up a reputation for Peter, time that could have alerted his father and put them all in danger. the longer it went with no interference for Father, the less I believed that he was the enemy. I kind of wished that it turned out that the Father was actually the bad guy. I know that he was suppose to be powerful and all, but just imagine an epic f*** off. Father versus son who can give the women the best time. Winner get the spoils.

Also why does Peter wait until three days before his father 'will rape' them? If they got pregnant a month or even two before hand it would still serve the purpose. Especially since Peter would have no way of knowing if they were pregnant. Even if they did get pregnant from him, it wouldn't save them from being raped by the father. They mentioned that he would know when the babies were born........That means that even if they got pregnant from Peter, they were still going to be raped? Never did Peter bring up that he wanted to keep them from being raped?

Also did I miss something? I know its a story on an erotic site, but except for peter's dad, peter, Sophie's dad, and Rodney there was not a male magic user even mentioned?

Also another big stretch of the imagination,(Yes I know it's fantasy) they did a lot of shows, in a lot of places. Never once did they accidentally bring up on stage someone he couldn't read. Yes I know that they met the one magic user after a show, but it never happened during one.

Also Peter from the start (after the first birthday present) was interested in magic. He learns magic from Janine and Lilian. He never mentions trying to learn more magic. Yes He was a strong mentalist but he didn't ask about other magics. Heck I believe he learned prestidigation magic and never to my knowledge did he use it. after being taught, outside of reading peoples minds, his weird magic handshake, and one time using the bladder spell he didn't do magic.......

Just my opinions and hopefully good things to think about,

Raven

Your story was amazing. The twists and turns were perfectly timed and the joy you had in writing it was very evident throughout. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

I truly enjoyed your story. I would read for hours and that is something I have not done since I was a kid. It felt good to get lost in a book again. Thank you!

Great series, Aspern. I don't think they drug on at all - if anything, it wrapped up a bit too quickly! I hope that you consider writing other stories in this compelling universe you have created.

I wouldn’t worry about the negative feedback. If this dragged I wouldn’t have binged the whole thing in a day. It’s great work and really brave to try a novel approach. Would love to see a series of Pete and Sammy: Private dicks. The possibilities of Sophie as a Chemist who could manipulate matter; just mind blowing even though they might fall outside of Erotica. Just keep writing, you are my new fav.

Excellent work. Liked the story, pace, characters. It made me think. I laughed and cried. It was thoughtfully edited. (I really appreciate that.) Oh, and another thing. People who thought it was too long just need to read faster. :)

Awesome. Great story, good characters, nice development. Very good ending. Thanks.

Sorry for being anonymous. The site won't let met log in and also view stories, that is really frustrating.

Go pro - you have the talent.

Loved it. Yes, it did drag a bit in the middle, but before and after the foreshadowing and suspense made it a page turner. And you made the sex scenes serve you in making the point that all women are different, and you don’t have to be a mind reader to listen to their words or their bodies. And such a sweet ending! I shed a little tear! Keep writing, and we’ll keep reading.

Yet another tour de force by a very talented author

Really liked this story and the plot. The way you portray relationships is perhaps the best part of your writing. I am mesmerised every time. My only gripe is that I wish this was slightly longer at the end. I dunno, their marriage or something.

I really liked this story. Not as much as the chronicles by far, but it's a nice cliché inversion.

Again, it is your portrayal of realistic characters and relationship and the warmhearted nature of your protagonist that I enjoy so much!

My only beef with the story is that the last 3-4 women would have to get pregnant after the birth of the first child, without the imaginary archmage father finding out. While the protagonist is under a geas, as a reader this seems like a very fishy plan from the beginning. I get the necessary symbolism of a full coven, though.

Although I read many stories on this site, I do not often comment on any stories. I thank you for entertaining me

as your story has. I really had a hard time putting my computer away once I started to read this a story.

I feel that you found the perfect balance between sex and story.

Just re read this again after reading your response to my comment on the last chapter. (My fault I never check thie email account associated with this site.)

Anyway I updated my review of this one to 5 stars because compared to the vast swath of other content on this site this one is still a cut above.

Thank you for your effort and sharing your creation with us.

Now... what about the continuing story? Hmmmmmm?

Good story that could be sharply improved by paring it down to about 7 chapters. The entire breadth of the 13 women and the world tour needs to really be reworked. The short episodic flipping from an seemingly endless chain of repetitive sexual encounters that quickly become trite. I found myself skimming through chapters 8-13 because each encounter seemed the same scene with differing props.

Absolutely loved the story. Well done!

So impressed! You made a story that is sexy AND wholesome. You braided every thread together, not just of the plot, but of the character and inside jokes, like the way the Batman and Robin thing made it through the whole thing and had different purposes in different spots. Not a thing was wasted!

The only thing I want to point out negatively (and I really just came on to say how wonderful I thought this story was) was there was a white reader, white narrator assumption that could be changed for the better. When characters showed up who were Black and I realized the assumption had been the others were white and it was pointed out for the audience that "Yes, Black people can tan" when the audience could perfectly well know that, it felt like the assumption was that your readers were white (and maybe also male from the way different types of women got compared? though that wasn't nearly as prominent as it can be in erotic stories.)

Really, though, this was just wonderful. Much more tightly crafted than a lot of fiction you'd find in a bookstore. Reading was a delight.

Must say I really enjoyed reading this. It was an entertaining story not just smut which gets repetitive and boring.

Second rereading...some further commentary: I read about 2000 wpm...and have written a lot of stuff, and served as a university writing professor. In reading a rather large number of these type of episodic short stories... I find that many, like this one, suffer from metanarrative or story-line creep as the episodes progress. This episodic partitioning of novella or novel level works was the predominant way writers and readers encountered novels from the invention of the steam printing press in the 1830's through the early 1900's Most of these works were distributed in serial episodic form in weekly magazines like A Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes series in The Strand.

Now most of these works could have really suffered similar metanarrative creep, but the works were FIRST written in complete format and were subjected to extensive review and rewriting prior to parceling the work out into serial format for weekly episodic publication. Much of the simply amazing works of Charles Dickens, A Conan Doyle, and even Mark Twain were distributed in episodic magazine format.

The real problem is see happening here repeatedly is authors writing what starts as a couple of stories on the fly...and then expanding these into rather long novella/novel length on the fly...ie writing and publishing them here episode by episode. Normally there is little if any overall organization, discipline, or overall scoping out of the longer metanarrative for the whole work..at the inception. Instead, as the author surrenders to the temptation to run off on various rabbit trails....normally to include interesting sexual episodes because, after all, this is a pornographic writing site; we find that it becomes almost impossible to keep the whole mess together in the latter chapters. Further, once a episode is written...and published...it is in essence locked in concrete and cannot be revised to correct metanarrative problems that surface in later episodes.

This story line suffers this problem big time. From what I see, the author chose to explore a REALLY HUGE series of sexual encounters....in fact 12 of them in various locations world wide. This is an REALLY ambitious scope and proved very unworkable... Each of these 12 adventures almost warrants its own story line....which obviously proved well outside the time and commitment of the author to complete. So he chose to short cut the writing process...and we see the same sexual scenario repeated in each of the 12 breeding episodes....like a xerox machine copy...with only marginal changes in location and name. Thus the last 5 chapters are an utter waste....but once the author committed to the 12 woman breeding cycle on the world scale...he was stuck with WAY to much work to make it happen. The whole metanarrative spun into utter chaos...requiring the summary chapters to try to tie it together...and frankly get the fricking author out of the whole mess with at least some sanity intact.

This brings up one of my key recommendations to my writing students over the years, First: KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid.... ruffles and flourishes work in Hail to the Chief...but not in stories and novels... Second: You MUST SPEND the upfront time clearly outlining both your episodic story line (metanarrative) targeting a clear and logical ending goal. This must be accomplished PRIOR to writing the first story. Once you have this layout...STICK TO IT.... AVOID RABBIT TRAIL DIVERSIONS from this main story line like the poison pill that they are... A couple of small diversions are doable...but each one requires that their separate threads be woven back into the overall story line metanarrative. Do this often will stick you with doing Deux ex Machina fixes... Too many of these...and you have the mess that we see in this story in the last 5 chapters,.

Still loved the first 5 or so chapters...good writing.....but next time KISS...and if you have to put in rabbit trail sexual encounters just for fun....put them in separate stand alone stories!!

I look forward to future work from such a good author.

I thought it was a great story. It did drag a small but but overall i was greatly intertained.

Yeah, I could tell that the mc was the one being puppeted from the second chapter, but it was still fun. Thanks for the story!

Loved. It. Really, loved it. What I find really, really funny is how many comments your stories get, and how lonnnnng those comments are. It's quite funny to read a page of commentary about how someone didn't like your story.

Seriously, can you imagine one of these 'english lit' professors spending more than 5 seconds on feedback for a bad piece of writing? For example, 'MrServant111' read all 16 chapters just so he could say, 'well, I knew this would suck.' What a maroon!

Were there parts that could be better? Sure, but then that would be editing...not creating. Anyone commenting on the last chapter negatively is easily three or four times the dupe that your MC was.

To sum up, I loved this story, and the naysayers on chapter 16 are idiots. Keep writing! And posting!

@servant111, if, in fact, you are a fast reader and prof, you should not read a story you dislike all the way to the end...twice. that makes you an idiot more than the MC. You're a dunce.

A wonderful story, well written. I admit that at one point I thought it should go faster, but in the end, I feel the extensive development to be worth the effort. Many thanks for the trip.

Excellent series of stories! You had me wondering about the story classification up to Ch 14! I was seriously wondering about it. But i figured that the hell-- I was looking for a story with a little magic and I had certainly found a good one.

The wonderfully written stories with great character description and personality development kept me coming back for more. I will check out some of your other stories-- please keep writing!

It was long, yes, maybe longer than it needed to be, but I enjoyed it. Towards the end I was really worried that there was no way it could end happy, and I guessed (but wasn't certain, so it doesn't count) about who was mind controlled maybe the second time Lillian hypnotized him.

I absolutely adored Sophie. And I was fascinated by Mirella. I felt for Esther, sympathized with Ashley, hurt for Irene...and almost from the beginning despised Janine. Well... after Michelle, especially. Oh, and Aunt Anna...I wish we'd had more time with her. Great story, all around.

I should add: I really *like* long stories. I just started to dread the "inevitable" sad ending I could see coming and, frankly, when the end came I wished it was longer. I wanted more time with Sophie and Peter after they reunited, after Sophie helped him heal. But there's not a lot of interesting conflict, etc, in stuff like that, so I didn't really expect it.

Nicely done, AE ;-)

Wow! It was about people and how they deal with each other and in doing the right thing. One minor note, it was poker not the lottery.

Long but gripping - good sex but the story was much more than that!