Just a Story Ch. 06

Kevin Randolph:
"Now EMTs are Paratroopers, too
My own colors were white and blue
When we were called, we jumped out that door..."

Ellen Brooks joined him in shouting the next line:
"'Cause we were Eighteenth Airborne Corps!
Now I'm not here to start no trouble
I'm just here to do the Airborne shuffle."

Kerri Ambrose:
"I did my tour, in Kan-da-har
No football games, and no cash bar
You got one jump? Well I got thirty,
So you Legs and Cherries are still nasty and dirty!
But I'm not here to start no trouble,
I'm just here to do the Airborne shuffle."

Chief Cordell:
"Yeah, I got one jump, in Viet Namm
Got combat Wings and a can of Spam
Then the Iron Crowbar came up to me
And said 'You may be old, but you're jumpin' with me!
I said "Sure! if Commander Croyle comes too.
Now she's got one... and I got two!
But I'm not here to cause no trouble
I'm just here to do the Airborne shuffle."

Your Iron Crowbar, pointing at the Green Crowbar as I sang:
"We-ell, I was trying to jump, out of a flying plane,
When Com-man-der Ross said 'You're insane!'
She said 'You ain't jumpin'! I will stop you!'
I said 'That's why you! are gonna jump too!'
And yes, she jumped, right out the door,
And now she wants, to jump some more!
But I'm not here to start no trouble,
I'm just here to do the Airborne shuffle!"

Cindy began shaking her head vigorously in disagreement at that last part.

Chief Moynahan:
"Now I'm your Airborne Cav-al-ry
I jump from planes with the In-fan-try
But if I'm allowed, to have my way,
I'll fly helicopters, ev-er-y day!
But I'm not here to start no trouble,
I'm just here to do the Airborne Shuffle."

Terry Halston:
"Now Airborne Rangers lead the way
We're the very best, that's what they say
Only the best are good enough for me,
WHICH IS WHY I NOW WORK WITH THE T-C-P-D!"

That brought the House down as we all finished:
"Now we're not here to start no trouble
We're just here to do the Airborne shuffle. Airborne! Airborne!"

Everyone applauded us as Chief Cordell ordered us to "Fall out!" and we returned to our seats. "How was it?" I asked Laura when I got back to my seat."

"I need more wine." Laura replied. "A lot... more... wine..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Teresa, Cindy, Paulina, and Tanya toodled up to in front of the head table and began singing the Hee Haw song with voices much better than mine:

"Now, we're not ones to go 'round, spread'n' rumors,
Why, really, we're just not the gossipy kind,
Oh, you'll never hear one of us repeating gossip,
So you better be sure and listen close the first time!"

Cindy: "Now we've learned that someone here is ex-pect-ing!"
Teresa: "Someone's lovely wife is in full bloom."
Paulina: "This secret, we are very bad at keep-ing,"
Tanya: "Micah Rud-i-stan will be a daddy soon!"

Everyone burst out in applause for Rudistan and his wife, who stood to acknowledge the applause as the 'Gossipy Angels' sang the chorus again. After the applause quieted down, my Angels+1 continued:

Cindy: "Now someone else here also is ex-pect-ing."
Teresa: "Another cop will be-come a dad-dy."
Paulina: "And all the County Council is re-flect-ing,"
Tanya: "Ian McGhillie will soon be a grand-daddy!"

The Rudistans and Roy and Becca McGhillie knew the Gossipy Angels were going to make the announcements. But Ian McGhillie did not know his daughter-in-law was pregnant! His reaction was one of shock, but happy shock.

"Really?" he exclaimed as everyone applauded Roy and Becca. He hugged Becca warmly, then hugged his son Roy and that hug lasted a good long moment... and tears were running down Ian McGhillie's face. Everyone just applauded a lot harder...

Part 13 - Edumacational Opportunities

"This is Bettina Wurtzburg, KXTC Channel Two News!" shouted the redheaded MILF reporterette at 7:00am, Wednesday, December 8th, from the anchor desk of KXTC studios. "More announcements of candidacies for political offices expected today!"

After the hard-charging intro music, Bettina began: "Channel Two News has learned that several persons are throwing their hats into the ring for Town & County offices! A Press Conference has been called for twelve noon to announce a Democrat candidate, which Channel Two News will bring you live as part of our complete coverage. Sources tell Channel Two News that the most surprising part of the announcement will be the endorsements for the candidate for office!"

Bettina: "On the Republican side, District Attorney Miriam Walters filed her papers to run for re-election. Her primary opponent, current Solicitor Ted Mason, issued a statement blasting Walters, which read, quote, 'Miriam Walters has utterly failed our Town & County as District Attorney. From letting Police Commander Donald Troy run all over her with unilateral plea deals, to not providing immunity for witnesses that ended up getting at least one of them killed, Miriam Walters is just wrong for our Town & County', close quote."

Bettina: "And Eastern State captured its first Conference title since joining the Conference several years ago, with a 33-18 win over the Tigers. Let's go to Sports reporter Jeff Hull for more. Jeff!..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Why are you guys in civilian clothes?" asked Chief Deputy Cindy Ross as she, Lt. Commander Teresa Croyle, Sheriff Griswold, Myself, ADA Paulina Patterson, Chief Sean Moynahan, and Deputy Chief Tanya P. Muscone drank coffee in the Chief's Conference Room and watched the propaganda-cast. Sheriff Griswold and I were in civilian clothes today, wearing suits and ties.

I said "We're going to be at that Press Conference today. I can't mix politics and my Police uniform, especially for endorsements, though I could wear my MOV with civilian clothes. The Sheriff can wear his uniform, but as we're observing, he had chosen not to." The Sheriff nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Who are you endorsing? Katina Jones?" Cindy asked, a wee bit sharply.

I said "I will endorse her, if and when she declares her candidacy."

Tanya said "Didn't Bettina say it was a Democrat announcing a candidacy? What Democrat in the world would Don Troy endorse?"

"Savannah Fineman." the Sheriff said, his voice nonchalant but his mustaches quivering with amusement.

"Even Klingon warriors cannot withstand a Crowbar beatdown, Sheriff." I 'warned' as said red crowbar was waved in his very specific direction.

"Noted." replied Griswold. "And I'll be endorsing the same person today, so just watch the broadcast at noon."

Chief Moynahan said "It's obvious to meeeee that Bettina's Bunch want Ted Mason to defeat Miriam Walters for the Republican nomination. What I can't figure out is whyyyy? Any idea, Mizzz Patterson?"

"No sir." Paulina replied. "Unless they think Ted Mason would be easier for Savannah to beat in the General Election."

"What's your answer to that, Crowbar?" the Sheriff asked.

"On its face, I agree with the Chief that it doesn't make a lot of sense." I said. "Miriam does have baggage, especially with the Black Community over the Breonna Bryant case, and supporting our crackdowns on the 'woke' anarchists."

Me: "But I am having suspicions that KXTC is pushing this 'team ticket' concept that Ryan Paulson, Louis Bailey, and Ted Mason are doing. We'll see KXTC push their candidacies against the Sheriff, the Mayor, and the D.A. through the primaries, then turn on them and fully support the Democrats in the General Election."

"Changing the subject," said Tanya, to change the subject, "how did the skits go over at the Policeman's Ball?"

I said "Now I know how you were able to serenade me with that 'Gossipy Angels' song so quickly and so simultaneously. You'd been practicing."

"The 'Gossipy Angels' were awesome." growled Griswold. "Especially when you were using it to announce the pregnancies."

I said. "I'm not sure about the 'Airborne Shuffle' one, though. A lot of people don't remember the 1985 Chicago Bears Shuffle Crew, a lot of them don't know what the real Airborne shuffle is on the planes, and a good many people there, especially the spouses, have no military connections."

Teresa said "Yeah. We understood it, and a lot of people there went to Airborne Day, and might have understood." (Author's note: 'Jump!') "But those that didn't may have been confused."

Cindy said "I think they liked the repartee with Don making me jump, and Chief Cordell having Teresa jump, but the rest of it was probably coming across as self-serving aggrandizement---"

"Ooooh, mighty big word for a Bulldog graduate to be using, there." I said. A green crowbar was waved in my most very specific direction.

Cindy said "I was going to say that Halston brought the House down with the T-C-P-D compliment."

"Well, we gave and we gave and we gave." I said. "But not everything works out perfectly..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

12:00 high noon, Wednesday, December 8th. There was a lectern with a bank of Press microphones on the portico in front of the entrance to City Hall. The west end of Courthouse Square was populated with a couple hundred people. One group had normal clothes on, and the other group had a large amount of people in blue shirts saying 'RE-fund the Police' or 'God Bless America' over an American Flag. There were plenty of TCPD Officers and Deputies keeping the groups generally separated, but there were no issues cropping up between the groups.

Out of City Hall came Me, Sheriff Griswold, Dr. Joseph E. Williams, Edward R. Steele... and the legendary rapper T-Square. And then Mrs. Edna Carter, schoolteacher at Thomas E. Williams Elementary School and Charter Commission member, came out and up to the bank of microphones, and said "Today I am announcing my candidacy for the Democratic nomination for Chairman of the School Board..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Flashback...

The afternoon before, Edward R. Steele and I met with Edna Carter and Dr. Joseph E. Williams in Edward's office at City Hall, a couple of hours before the Council Meeting. After initial greetings and small talk, Dr. Williams started off the conversation.

"I'm sure you both know that if Bill Redmond becomes School Board Chairman, it will be a disaster for our children."

"Especially Children of Color." I replied, saying what they were hesitating to say.

"Well, all of the children in poor districts." said Edna Carter. "The rich people in the northern suburbs, the County High system, have hated the distribution of revenue on a per-student basis, and Bill Redmond will do everything he can, above the table and beneath the table, to change that."

"Not to mention that Bill Redmond is a virulent racist." said Dr. Williams. "And I'm not just throwing the race card, there."

"No, you're not." I replied. "I've had firsthand experience with his racism." (Author's note: 'Black and Blue', Ch. 01.)

Edna Carter said "So that's why I am going to run for School Board Chairman against him. And I would like for you, Commander Troy, and you too, Mr. Steele, to endorse me."

I grinned, then said teasingly. "So being on the Charter Commission gave you the bug to get into politics, eh?"

"Not really." Edna said. "I probably wouldn't think of it, if it weren't for the threat that man brings to everything we worked for when we re-wrote the Charter. And I won't let that good work go down without a fight."

"That bug didn't bite you, Commander Troy." said Dr. Williams, and I couldn't tell if he was needling me or was serious.

"His day is coming. His day is coming" said Edward Steele. When my neck popped as i whirled to look at him, he said "That's what Carole told Marie. I'm just the messenger."

"Those girls bear watching." I said. "Yes, Mrs. Carter, I would be happy to endorse you, but I have to ask one thing, and I'm not going to sugarcoat it."

I said "As you know, as many as 85% of black children in eighth grade public schools are reading at or below a level the Government classifies as 'functionally illiterate'. Numbers vary, and are better in some places and worse in others. However, the 'woke' far-Left crowd, and especially the powerful Teacher's Union, think it's more important for our elementary school children, especially in the first four grades, not only be taught CRT themes, but be subjected to drag shows and be taught gender fluidity and given options of gender reassignment without their parents being told."

Me: "This is not a black thing, but a Totalitarian Leftwing thing, strongly endorsed and supported by the Teacher's Unions. And parents who complain to School Boards, especially when they complain that their daughters were raped by boys pretending to be trans girls, are threatened with arrest as (air quotes) 'domestic terrorists', and US Attorney General Derrick B. Harland has Homeland Security and the FBI investigate those parents as criminals, has the IRS audit and harass them, and so on and so forth."

Me: "Mrs. Carter, if you are the School Board Chairman, especially if you will be so as a Democrat, you will be subjected to pressure, tremendous pressure, by the Democrats, the Radical Left, and especially the rabid Teacher's Union, to fall in line and help them implement their radical doctrines upon our schoolchildren. Before I endorse you... how do you stand on those issues?"

Edna Carter said "You should know me well enough by now that you know I don't play those games. And we butted heads with the Teacher's Union while we were re-writing the Charter, and you beat them back... literally." (Author's note: 'Balance of Power', Ch. 01-02.)

I said "Forgive me for saying this, and for the way I am going to say it... but I can't risk endorsing you only to have you come out and support those radical policies and supporting the Teacher's Union. I need to hear it from your lips to my ears that you're not going to go there."

Dr. Williams looked offended, but he could not meet my peering stare at him. Edna said "I don't support that fringe radical stuff. Most of it is the Press trying to gin up race hatred. And besides, Commander... I need the Power of the Crowbar behind me if I'm going to do this, and fight both Bill Redmond and the Teacher's Union. I won't stab you in the back, Don."

I nodded, sensing the sincerity in her voice... and the skepticism in Dr. Joseph E. Williams. "What about you, Dr. Williams? Are you in? Or do you support the Radical Left, and thugs like the Teacher's Union, and election-stealers like Eldrick X. Weaver?"

"You know where I stand on that, Iron Crowbar." he said. "I am not a dirty election-stealer like Eldrick X. Weaver."

"Okay, then." I said. "I'm in. How about you, Edward? Or are you able to, since you're running for the Council as a Republican?"

"I'm in." said Edward...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Now in live time, I listened as Edna made her speech that she was running to prevent Bill Redmond from destroying her and the Charter Commission's good work. Then T-Square spoke, and said that Black children needed two things to have a chance to succeed in life... fathers that stay at home and raise their children, and a quality education of the basic skills of reading and math.

Sheriff Griswold came up and said that All God's Children, red and yellow, black and white, needed good basic education, and that Edna Carter would give those children that educational chance. And then it was Your Iron Crowbar's turn.

I said "I had the privilege of working with Edna Carter on the Charter Commission. I asked her to be on the Commission because of her passion for education and the desire to give all of our children an equal opportunity to have a good basic education."

Me: "I have seen studies showing that a majority of black children in the eighth grade can't read at a first grade level. Like Mrs. Carter, and hopefully like all of you, I want all our children, of every ethnicity, to be reading at the first grade level in first grade!"

There was some good applause for that, and the blue-shirted people joined it. Then I said "But it's not about race, though the biased Media will say it is. It's about children of all ethnicities having a shot at getting a quality public education. And I believe Edna Carter will lead the Town & County School Board very well as they fulfill their duties to give our children those opportunities..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The biased, dishonest, and corrupt Media did typical biased, dishonest, and corrupt Media things. They shouted questions at me instead of Edna Carter. I just shook my head and pointed at her, and said "Ask her questions. I'm not the one running, here." Sooo, the Media turned to Sheriff Griswold and T-Square. The Sheriff had Edna answer the questions directed at him, and Edna said whatever she damn well pleased.

After the Press Conference was done, KXTC and the SNN Networks immediately began packing up to go. I yelled "Where are y'all going? There's another announcement!" The blue-shirted people cheered.

"Drop dead, Troy!" yelled Amber Harris as she gave me that universal sign of her bird finger extended and the rest not.

"Oh my! Language, Amber!" I retorted.

"Go fuck yourself, Troy!" Amber said as several other KXTC employees dropped what they were doing and in unison gave me the bird, obviously trying to goad me.

KFXU got all of that on tape, and they stayed for the announcement. The Sheriff, Edward, and I stayed where we were, while T-Square went and signed autographs in the crowd, protected by his Regiment. A moment later, Katina Jones came out, wearing a white dress with black side panels, and bright white high-heel pumps. The blue-shirted people cheered loudly. The few others that remained didn't boo, but just watched silently.

Katina: "I am announcing my candidacy for the Republican nomination for the Town & County Council Seat 3 position, to succeed Edward R. Steele..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hello and welcome!" said Catrina Pierce at 4:00pm sharp. "I'm Catrina Pierce, and with me are Greg Wallace, Lisa Fillmore, and Dana McMahon. It's four o'clock, and we are The Four."

After the cheap cheesy music intro, Catrina said "Earlier today, two people announced their candidacies for two Town & County posts. Edna Carter, schoolteacher and Charter Commission member, announced that she was running for the Democratic nomination for School Board Chairman, which is a County-wide post. And Katina Jones, who is black, announced she is running for the Republican nomination for the Council seat being vacated by Edward R. Steele, who is running for Ian McGhillie's seat after Mr. McGhillie retired and Mr. Steele began building a new house to move into."

Catrina: "But after Mrs. Carter made her announcement, our competitor KXTC began packing up to leave immediately, while KFXU Fox Eight News remained and has brought both announcements to our viewers. Commander Donald Troy, who was present to endorse both candidates, called out KXTC for leaving early, and got this vulgar reaction. Roll tape."

Tape rolled, showing Amber Harris yelling "Drop dead" and the (blurred-out) bird gesture. It then showed my 'Rudistan-ish' response, then the other KXTC employees giving me a mass gesture of their hatred.

Catrina said "Dana, what does this say about our competitor? And about where discourse is heading, these days?"

Dana: "That was just an incredibly... unbelievably unprofessional and rude action on Amber Harris's part, and it obviously is the standard for KXTC, as their employees did the same thing. We know they hate Commander Troy, and KXTC is being sued by him, and they've been at war for years now. But for Amber to do that while other cameras were recording her is just... shocking. Maybe I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. It really hurts all of us as journalists."