Just Once: A Sequel Pt. 01

Rick grimaced. "I can understand that. I can tell you I cursed those in charge at times and the circumstances that made it necessary, like when I was stationed in Korea during that long stretch. Still, I was doing a job and I thought Marcy understood that."

Angela sighed. "I am sure she does, Rick, this isn't about understanding, this is emotions. I don't face a tenth of what Marcy faced as a wife and mother, we don't have kids, but I still at times resent it when Pam is away and we need to make a decision or I have had a bad day and need someone there to hold me and make me feel better or make love to me. "

Rick tensed up a bit. "So are you saying she is right?"

Angela responded back, fast, knowing Rick had been triggered. "No, you dumbass, that isn't what I am saying. I am saying simply that she has strong emotions, especially resentment, and that I think they are driving all this. She really is angry that you were away all those years but she can't blame the military or the circumstances so I think she allowed it to come out sideways at you since you are available, if that makes sense. It isn't right, I am not defending her, I am just trying to make you understand the depth of the emotion here."

He calmed down a bit. "I am sorry, Angela, but it is hard to hear this. I guess I assumed when she married me that she knew what it was like being married to someone in the military and accepted it."

She smiled at him. "I think she did, Rick, but I don't think she fully understood the total ramifications of it. I am not defending her, though, because she obviously let this simmer inside her and she didn't talk to anyone, a counselor, another spouse, or more importantly you, and that is on her. But there is more than that. "

He groaned. "More?"

She nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. First of all, the fact that she kept coming up with how she trusted you all those years, in the face of you expressing concern at her and her doctor pal flirting, says a lot. If I told Pam I was uncomfortable in how someone was looking at her or flirting with her, she would take it seriously. She wouldn't try to write it off as blowing off steam or telling me I was silly, the way Marcy did with you. She certainly wouldn't say "You have to trust me, because I trusted you. " She would acknowledge my feelings and she would tell me I have nothing to worry about and make sure I felt that all times.

His eyes dropped. "So basically, what you are saying is that she likely thinks/feels my whole time in the service I was screwing around and that her saying she trusted me all those years is in effect saying, I know you screwed around, so you have to let me do it."

Her eyes looked on him sympathetically. "In not so many words, but yes, I think that is what she feels. I think emotionally she was upset about you being away so often, felt abandoned and in her head twisted that into you were away because you wanted to be away so you could have fun."

He shook his head. "And I was so clueless...do you think she felt this the whole time I have been away?"

Angela shook her head. "No, that is one of the things I am not sure of. I think she did resent you being away, like I said all spouses go through that, but I think there was a change someplace along the away and something happened."

He nodded. "Yes, I think it was that damn assignment to Korea, I wish I could have said no to that. Back then my sense of duty and career mattered to me, maybe too much, but I didn't have a choice. Like I told you, during that time it was tense, instead of enjoying R and R in Hawaii we fought, there wasn't much intimacy and I seriously thought of divorcing her when she decided to leave early. "

Angela looked at him, thoughtfully. "Though I can't prove it, I agree that was a strong possibilty given what you have told me."

He looked puzzled. "The thing is I thought we had patched it up after Korea, especially once I left the military. What happened? "

She shrugged. "It is mostly a guess at this point. One of the things in the letter was she stressed needing the validation in her field that you got by being deployed, I think that is a clue."

Rick looked at her. "I wouldn't of thought of that. Marcy's career was taking off at that point, at the hospital back home she became a member of the surgical team and she was getting steady promotions, was working with the top surgical teams. Before I came home and we moved here, Marcy was basically subordinate only to the chief of nursing."

Angela nodded. "And then when she came back here, she ended up being the chief nurse on the team, correct?"

"Yep, that is how it played out. So basically what you are saying is as her career advanced, she basically started looking down on what I was doing. I don't understand why, she always seemed supportive of my career and I never felt demeaned by her." Rick looked both puzzled and lost.

His friend looked at him. "I think it was more like her career taking off and something else was going on tied to that, she tied you finding validation professionally with the notion you were screwing around. Maybe it was she was doing better professionally and found some other kind of validation too, likely involving another person. I obviously can't tell you that with any certainty but there is an obvious conclusion there, given what she in fact did."

Rick looked determinedly at her. "This is such a mess! The one thing that I keep coming back to is that our marriage is over, that the woman I thought loved me created some kind of fucked up idea of me in her head and now is doing everything she can to hurt me."

Angela looked at him sympathetically. "This is always messy. For what it's worth, as screwed up as this all is, I think Marcy deep down does love you. The problem is I don't know if she is in love with you or if that she can even figure that out right now."

Rick nodded. "That is the hard part we keep coming back to. And with each layer, more and more, I can't honestly say I think she does. There is something else that is bothering me, Angela, the ultimatum at the end."

His friend looked at him, indicating she was expecting that. "I knew we needed to talk about that. To be honest, that may be the worst of all, Rick, it is probably the biggest knife through your relationship, to be blunt."

Rick felt his stomach knot up, he sensed the tension and yes, anger, in his friend. "I wondered how the hell given what she was doing that could she give me an ultimatum like that? She is off screwing another man for 6 weeks and then acts like she is on the higher ground, that she can dictate how her fling will end?"

He continued "and what is that shit at the end, where she tells me if I don't show up, she will mourn the end of our relationship, but she will move on, and after that I don't have any right to comment on what she does, or some such shit...." He gulped; he was close to tears once again.

Angela looked at him somberly, and grabbed his hand. "That is exactly the right question and that is what troubles me as well. Reading between the lines this gives her total control, you don't even know if she will show up, what does she have to lose, a hotel room reservation?"

Rick blanched. "So basically, you think that in her mind she might already have seen the end of our marriage?"

She nodded. "Obviously, I can't be totally sure but it is the only thing that makes sense. Remember when she said in her letter 'we need this if our marriage is to survive?' What person in love with their spouse could write that? Add that to her final statement that you won't have anything to say about what she does with the doctor if you walk away, it paints a grim picture."

Rick looked almost sick, but he knew she was right. "But why did she put in there that she loved me, that I broke her heart, but she loved me, would always?"

His friend took a drink, and then spoke. "Again, I am working with limited information and in the end without more I can't be certain, but I suspect that her relationship with this doctor is not just sex. I think Marcy at least thinks she has fallen in love with him. When she told you she needed to do this if the marriage was going to survive, it wasn't about a fling. I think Marcy was looking at her time with Dr. Trey as a trial marriage, she left her rings at home, she said 'I am not married'. Which is true, she deliberately is putting herself into a position where you don't exist, total blackout. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if someone looked at Marcy right now she is wearing a ring on her left ring finger."

Rick sighed. "But why all the bullshit? Why not just ask me for a divorce and separate?"

Angela shook her head. "People aren't rational, Rick, and Marcy in a lot of ways is not acting rationally. I think her misplaced anger at you has blinded her, I think it has pushed her into some kind of emotional affair with Dr. Trey. However, there is still a part of her that still loves you, a lot, and she is kind of hedging her bets. If it doesn't work out with Dr. Trey she fully expects you to be there, waiting with open arms and a part of her wants that. " Rick looked surprised and was going to speak, but she held up her hand.

"For what it is worth, I think there is a part of Marcy that loves you very much and I think deep down what she thinks is loving the good doctor is really her feeding off getting revenge on you, not to mention the ego boost of having illicit monkey sex with a younger guy. She is a mess of emotions and they are tangled to say the least. In one way, it is a sign that she still does have strong feelings for you in that there is conflict there, but honestly it is so tangled it is probably impossible to untangle it at this point.

Rick eyes were moist. "But why would she go to the bother with the hotel room? If she came home from there and figured Dr. Trey was the future, what was the point?"

She responded softly. "A hotel is a neutral place, Rick, it doesn't have memories in it. If she came home and went to the house and told you it was over, she would have to face your anger in a place with so many good memories and might be afraid she would waffle. Telling you that at a hotel would be easier. On the other hand if she decided Dr. Trey wasn't going to work out the hotel room would be a neutral place to try and win you back. She counted on your love that you would show up there. "

He shook his head as he felt defeated. "And let me guess, had she come back and decided Trey wasn't marriage material that she would still be seeing him."

Angela shrugged. "I can't know for sure, but someone who could do something like this is someone who quite easily could justify cheating on you to herself, which translates to continuing to get revenge on you."

Rick deflated and Angela handed him some tissues. "So basically, Angela, what you are recommending is I go ahead and divorce her. "

Angela shook her head. "I can't recommend that, Rick, in the end you are going to have to decide. Remember, I am only guessing here. I am trying to read into what you told me and from her actions and the letter. I could also be wrong and this was some sort of crazy mid life fling but I don't think so."

Rick nodded. "I respect that, it is like working on partial intelligence."

She smiled. "Exactly! It is much worse when it comes to emotional issues and not having all the facts then it is with one based in some kind situation based in logic. You still have some time so you don't have to decide right this moment. I recommend you do a lot of thinking about this and also let your feelings guide you since this is about the heart as much or more than the mind. You analytical skills are going to help you but your gut has to be involved, too. I am here more for that side, I am just a phone call away."

Rick gave a wry smile. "Maybe I should have let my gut lead all along, it seems like my reasoning and analytical mind was very good at rationalizing things it shouldn't of. Maybe if I had confronted her with what happened in Korea or told her about Deirdre, which my gut told me I should do, I wouldn't be in this position today. "

Angela grabbed his head with her hands. "Rick Weston, know one thing, whatever mistakes you made, you are not responsible for this. Some of this is the strain of a military marriage but a lot of this is on Marcy. She didn't talk to you and while you may feel like you could have done more to support her you in fact did what you could to show her you loved her. You supported her in her career and you didn't object when she wanted to go on this trip down to South America, despite your reservations, you trusted her. She in turn stomped on that, coldly and deliberately. Whatever her reasons and whatever mistakes you made, it didn't justify all this."

Rick smiled weakly. "I try to tell myself that, but it still hurts"

His friend let go of his head and patted his arm. "It will, Rick, but wounds hurt while they heal. It is getting late and I need to work in the morning otherwise I would talk all night if it meant helping you feel better. You also have a lot on your plate and need rest to be able to work out what you need to do both emotionally and on a practical plane. Again, I am available to you anytime you need it. "

Rick nodded. "Angela, you don't know how grateful I am and when your better half is home I would love to meet her and take you both out to a fancy dinner someplace. I don't think I can express how grateful I am that you are helping me, I realize it stretches some boundaries for you, but I don't think I could work this out with someone else. A nice dinner would be just a small token of appreciation. Besides, it would be nice to have dinner with a pair of beautiful women. Would bolster my ego while having none of the pressure since they are taken." This was said with a wink.

Angela punched his arm and said, "You are such a typical man, you know that," and laughed.

Rick got up and after saying good night he drove back to the house. It already looked a lot less than home to him now, which was telling how he was feeling. He was somewhat daunted by the list of things he had to do but even more so wondering if he could process everything and come up with the right decision in the end.

The next couple of days were busy for him as he continued to plan for post married life. He found an apartment he could lease on a month to month basis that if by some providence he and Marcy were able to stay together he would only lose a month or two of rent.

The lawyer called as he had the papers all drawn up. When Rick collected them he took them back to the house all the while treating them gingerly, as if they could burn him if he touched them the wrong way. He noticed that while he continued to hope that Marcy would reach out to him and maybe try to avert disaster he made no effort to contact her. He thought that was a sign that he finally was accepting that the only person who could save the threads left of their marriage was Marcy and that her continuing silence said she didn't want to.

The hard part was the kids, and he tried to figure out how to broach what was going on with Marcy without hurting their relationship to her. He decided to call them up and see if they had heard from their mom as a starting point.

He called both of them and they both had the same story, they hadn't heard from Marcy at all. This bothered Rick a lot as Marcy was a good mom and though they were grown she made it a point to keep up with them via email, text or phone calls and the radio silence with them was not good news .

Rick told both of them the outline of what happened and told them it didn't look good but that he still held out hope that he could somehow find a way to save the marriage.

Kyle took it the hardest. He kept telling Rick that Marcy loved him and that to please try and save the marriage. Rick realized that while Kyle was grown up he still in some ways was the boy worried about his parents breaking up and how that would affect him. Rick told him he would try but that no matter what happened he was still his father and Marcy his mother, and nothing would change that.

Phoebe was a lot less shocked but she also was furious. She told Rick that she had suspected something was going on with her mom, specifically back in the Korea days, and the last time she talked to her all (Marcy) could talk about was the trip and yes, the brilliant doctor she worked for.

She said she outright asked Marcy if she was having an affair with the doctor because she sounded like someone with a case of puppy love, but backed off when Marcy became furious at her for even suggesting that and ended the call right there. She said it was only several days later that mom called back and apologized, said she blew up because some other people at work had been teasing her about her and the doctor. She also said that Marcy asked her not to tell Rick about it because 'your father for some reason doesn't like or trust Trey and he doesn't need to hear that, I can tell you'. She also apologized to Rick for not telling him about this.

He told her she did the right thing, that she was just respecting the wishes of her mom and she had no way of knowing what was going on.

Phoebe also told him that at this point she hated Marcy and didn't want anything to do with her, that it was obvious not only didn't she want her marriage, it applied to the kids as well, given she hadn't bothered to talk to either of them since being off with Dr. Dreamboat so she could go fuck herself.

Rick did what he could to calm her down. He didn't go into the details but told Phoebe that this was between Marcy and himself, it had nothing to do with the love either of them had for her or her brother. He said they were collateral damage and that whatever happened her mom was going to need her kids as he would and not to forget that she had been a good mom to them, especially all those times when he had to be away.

Both kids promised him that if Marcy contacted them, they would let him know, but wouldn't tell her about their conversation.

Rick kept himself busy over the next several days as he checked more items off the list including the credit cards and joint accounts. He had power of attorney for Marcy so he was able to open new accounts for himself and transfer half the funds in their original account to this new one and put it under the care of the same financial advisor they had been using to manage the accounts.

The final pieces fell into place several days later when his friend the investigator called him to tell him what he had found out. It turns out that the hospital Marcy worked at when he was in Korea had a hot-shot young surgeon on their neurosurgery team, one Dr. Trey Cardozo. Several people remembered that he seemed very much attracted to Marcy and that they seemed very close. The people interviewed said that they would go out to lunch together and would during the day be found in in odd places talking or sitting together. They also said it seemed pretty familiar, if not bordering on the intimate, and some of them suspected by the way they acted when caught that they may have been engaged in something less than sex but still intimate.

The one thing they all agreed on was as far as they know they were not having sex together and that given the nature of hospital gossip if they had likely people would know about it.

One nurse who worked there remembered overhearing something between Marcy and Dr. Trey where Marcy told Trey that as much as she liked him and appreciated his friendship and him finding her attractive, she couldn't risk breaking up her marriage. She also said she got the impression that as time went on that Marcy's resolve might have been weakening, she was one of those who caught them together and they behaved somewhat guiltily when found by her.