Just Once: A Sequel Pt. 01

You were right about one thing. I did have a small slip, something unlike yourself I regretted having the moment it occurred. It happened after a woman I was working with and I just missed getting blown up by an IED. We were two scared, lonely people who had a moment of intimacy we shouldn't have had. It almost amounted to less time than it took to write about it, involved oral sex, and we both knew afterwards we shouldn't have done it. I should have admitted it when you asked but I was so ashamed. The other reason was I figured like what had happened with you when I was in Korea, it was better to let bygones be bygones and concentrate on our marriage.

That was the only time in our marriage that I ever strayed and it was but a brief instant. I would ask you if it was worth destroying a marriage of over 20 years over but I realize it wouldn't matter. In your mind you created this fantasy I had cheated every time was deployed and I doubt you would believe anything different.

I am sure in your mind you will compare what I did and what you are doing and call it a draw. Your little jaunt with Dr. Trey was planned out with his help and I am sure that the hotel room at the end was his idea. To you it was a 'romantic way to reconnect', but that bastard knew that it would stick in my craw and would humiliate me in the way you gave me that ultimatum, something I never, ever did with you.

I also think you planned it that way rather than at the airport because you had the notion that by the time you left wherever the hell you were you would be totally committed to Dr. Trey. Your claim it meant nothing rings false, if he was a boytoy you wouldn't have gone to the lengths you did.

You guys could have screwed your brains out for 6 weeks and I would have been blissfully unaware. You could have called me and said hi every once in a while, could have sent me emails or texts about what was up and I would have been none the wiser. The reality is you wanted that space and to not be reminded you had a husband and family back home. You wanted to focus on the person you were besotted with, Dr. Dick; it would have been highly inconvenient to be reminded about 'that other world.'

This isn't just guesswork on my part, I have pretty conclusive proof along with the things I figured out by inference. You left your wedding rings at home, which was horrible in of itself. However, I called in a favor and an old friend of mine who operates down where you were caught you and Dr. Trey, all cozy and cuddled up, at an outdoor restaurant. In the picture you had a ring on your ring finger that was clearly an engagement band and it wasn't the one I gave you.

Did he give that to you, or was that your "promise" ring to him? I could find out, but it doesn't matter any more.

So the hotel room was better than the airport because if you decided that Dr. Trey was your next husband, you simply wouldn't show up. You can deny you wanted to hurt me, if you left me a note at all you would likely tell me you would always love me in some way but you had fallen in love with another man and it just happened, but that is bullshit; whatever happened you were looking to hurt me.

On the other hand if you did actually show up, I doubt very much it would be the end of you and Trey as you claimed. You are too tied to him and though he likely would want you to try and keep the marriage going he would want to continue on fucking you behind my back. You would do it, too, because unlike what you told me you had been tied up with him stretching as far back as when I was in Korea and you would go to his bed every time with the hope you could be with him full time.

As far as your 'Hall Pass" for me, I didn't take you up on it. First of all, I am not wired that way; I am a one-woman man. Secondly, I am no fool and one of the first rules of intelligence is you never let yourself be compromised. After reading your letter I realized this was not your feeling guilty but rather this was part of your plan. If your thing with Dr. Trey didn't work out you could have thrown what I did with Leslie in my face, saying "well, I did no worse than you did."

The last reason I would never take you up on it is that it wasn't consensual, as I had no part in this agreement. I was never asked if the tit for tat of my fucking Leslie would make it okay for you to take on Dr. Dickhead. You can tell me all you want how you were a coward and couldn't face me but I think you were quite happy to dump it on me because it was a win win for you, and you knew I would be unlikely to take the offer.

When I told Leslie that the first time I knew of the plan was when I talked to you that night at the hotel i.e. when I ambushed you, she was shocked. Her relationship with Vincent is not what you think as it is not hateful or demeaning. Vincent gets a kick out of her dating other men and having sex with them but he is no wimpy cuckold as you probably thought. What they do is truly consensual, Vincent has to agree to it always; what you did was not. In many ways it wasn't consensual with Leslie and Vincent since you lied to them, too, you made them think like I was onboard with this. In doing so you put Leslie into the awkward position of having to tell me that you were busy doing the horizontal mambo with Trey and facing my reaction. If I hadn't of know what you and Dr. Trey were doing from having talked to you on the phone it could have been much worse a reaction and she didn't deserve that.

It is funny, I learned a lot from Leslie from talking to her when she delivered your letter (which she thought was a piece of shit, too, she got really mad when she read it). She saw right through your intentions. She said with Vincent she loved him and would do anything in the world not to hurt him, everything they did was consensual and there is love and respect there. Your letter on the other hand was loaded with disrespect towards me and to a large part it was meant to inflict emotional pain on me and humiliate me.

"Giving me" Leslie was no gift in other words, among other things you basically said that there was no way in hell Leslie would ever want me other than as a plaything. You were taunting me, since you of course got to choose who you were fucking and it is pretty clear to me that unlike with Leslie and me you saw a future with him. You know I am not stupid and I think that was one of your digs at me.

The sad part is, Marcy, I think in some ways deep down you do still love me and that part of you really believes we would come out of this married until the end and maybe better off, which shows how conflicted you are.

The problem is you are one angry, twisted person and you can't even see the person you have become. Dr. Wonderful played you like a 2 dollar violin, you fell for his bullshit that I didn't respect you or your career. You believed him when he told you that I of course had cheated on you during my career. Emotionally it fit the narrative you had created for yourself as the long suffering military wife putting up with her husbands disappearing act, so he didn't have a hard time reeling you in at all.

Meanwhile all the years we were married I constantly told you how proud I was of you, both in what you did for our family and career wise. You ask anyone I worked with and they would tell you they often thought they would die of diabetes from all the sweet things I said about you; could your colleagues say the same thing about me? I highly doubt it, at some of the hospital events we were at when I talked to your colleagues many of them didn't even know I had gotten out of the military and some didn't even know you were married, and these were people you worked with every day.

When you told me that you weren't happy with the way your body looked, that you wanted to get your breasts enhanced and some other plastic surgery to make yourself feel better I was supportive, even though I couldn't see the need for it myself. The point was I wanted you to feel good about yourself, when was the last time you can say you went out of your way to do that for me?

One blunt truth for you, your doctor in shining armor suddenly is going to want to move on once I have filed for divorce, I guarantee it. In his mind you guys would come home and you would screw my brains out in the hotel and we would patch it up. You and he would then keep screwing while cuckolding me, which I am sure is part of his thrill in bedding married women.

Married women are a drug for guys like him, not only does it inflate their ego, but married women are generally not interested in long term commitments which they don't want. Your Dr. Trey is nearing 40 and if he is looking for a mate it won't be a married woman nearing 50 with two grown kids, no matter what your fantasy of this trip told you, it won't happen. If he goes looking for a mate it will be a young trophy wife with firm tits and a rounded ass that can produce trophy kids, not a woman that gravity and time has done its work on.

A good friend of mine, who also served in the military, said you would end up like a Coney Island Whitefish, something that once served a useful purpose towards having fun but is now is a used up item full of scummy stuff, and that is apt, only in your case you are an old broad with a cunt full of semen that no longer is so appealing.

Once again, I am not saying I was the perfect husband but I always tried to do my best. While you were rising to the top of your career (and likely to the top of Dr. Trey's dick), I sacrificed my career because I realized there was more to life than that.

I never lost sight of my family; I wish I could say the same about you. Maybe if you had talked about the resentment earlier and that you were tired of being a single parent, I would have realized the cost long before it blew up on us and gotten out. To be honest I think that you enjoyed being the martyr in our relationship and that allowed you to feed into this narrative of being the heroic wife sacrificing herself for her family. In the end ironically you ended up sacrificing your family for your desires and eventually I am sure you will face a reckoning with that.

You said you would mourn the end of our relationship if I was not at the hotel. I doubt it, I think you will only mourn it when you realize what you threw away and it will be too late then. Know I loved you with all my heart and that I am sorry it came down to this, this is not what I ever envisioned happening. Please don't drag this out, sign the divorce papers when you get them. It is an equitable split and you can move on and hopefully find peace and I will try to do the same. Maybe someday we can be in the same room together, I hope so, but for now, goodbye.

Rick

The words came easily but so did the pain. Rick truly felt like this was the end of this part of his life. He knew deep down he would always love Marcy, love the person she had been and was sorry it ended like this. As he had on many nights since finding out about Marcy's betrayal, he went to bed with tears in his eyes.

End of part 1