Just Once, Well I Do Mind

"He didn't chase me. After I left him alone for fifteen minutes, I discovered things about myself I didn't like on a date to a hospital function. I asked a patron of the hospital, an older gentleman I had once met who always stood by the main exit if he had seen Rick in his uniform. He told me he had talked to him as he was leaving two hours earlier. Then he smiled, said excuse me, and walked away."

"I was spitting fire; I was so angry. The next day I went to the house he shares with his parents. He was gracious, invited me in, and offered me some tea. Then I unloaded on him, telling him nobody left me like that and don't expect me to say yes when he asked me out again.

He smiled and asked, who said I was going to ask you out again? I stuttered and turned red, stood up and headed out the front door, then turned around and sat back down. I was crying when I acknowledged that I was wrong, that I'm a spoiled brat, and then I apologized and told him if he asked me out again, the answer is yes, and I would be a different person."

I was interrupted by a voice coming over the intercom, "Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. We are thirty minutes from landing, so please put away all loose personal items and raise up your tray table. Flight attendants, please stow all carts and secure all drawers and cabinet doors. In fifteen minutes, the fasten seat belt sign will come on. Thank you from the Captain and First Officer."

"So what happened?"

"Short answer, I left, he caught me before I drove off, recommended I speak to someone about anger management and that it had worked for him. I saw someone for ten sessions, two a week, and when I stopped, he showed up at my parents' house with two bouquets of roses for my mother and me. Ten months later, we married."

"I won't blame anyone else, I fell for Trey's bullshit, and now I face the consequences."

I turned away and stared at the gray clouds, alone in my thoughts.

The plane landed, and as we walked through the gates, The Hospital Board Vice-Chairperson and someone I didn't know handed each of us an envelope with our name typed on it. Before I could say anything, they were gone.

At the luggage carousel stood a tall man in a suit holding a sign with my name over his head. I went up to him and said, "I'm Marcy Weston."

He opened a soft shoulder brief and handed me a letter. He put his sign inside the bag but didn't leave. I guess I was supposed to read it now. I opened it and read a cover sheet.

"Marcy,

I have canceled all utilities effective fifty days from the tenth. They are in my name. The joint gas card, VISA, AMEX, and MASTERCARD have been paid off and canceled. I have taken everything I want from the house. I have quit my job. My lawyer, Terry Marshal, who used to be an Army JAG attorney, is handling the divorce. There will be no meeting to explain that you didn't mean to give me an ultimatum; you just wanted to be fair.

My answers to your letter are on the following two pages.

Good Luck with the head nurse job; somehow, I don't think you'll get it now. Tell senior Doctor Little Dick Cardosa to keep watch behind him. Just when you stop expecting it, expect it.

Former Colonel Richard Weston"

Well, that wasn't too bad. I expected someone to bump into me and then having all my clothes fall off.

* * * * *

Dear Rick,

I'm a coward. I think that's an understatement, Bitch.

And by the time you read this, you will know that I am also breaking our vows with Trey.

Again and again and again. And how many others?

But before you pass judgment on me, think about you and Diedre in Iraq. I have no proof, but I am almost positive that you and she had sex in Iraq.

One time Marcy, after a roadside attack wounded everyone in the APC except for Diedre and me. She gave me a blow job, and I returned the favor. After that night, I locked my door whenI slept.

How do I know? Well, you have yourself and the Army to blame for that. Remember how I helped you study for your classes when you switched to Army Intelligence Branch from flying? Part of that was the interrogation and interview class. If you remember, people who lie look away when questioned and if they are guilty.

And you, my dear husband, did just that not once, but three times when I brought her up. You are a terrible liar, Rick. But then I am no better. When Trey first put his hands on me, I never told you. Maybe I should have.

Was that when you parked at the Red Roof Inn and arrived at work two hours early?

And perhaps I should have had an affair or affairs during all those years that I was home alone and lonely while you were off playing soldier.

Playing soldier, are you fucking insane? So, what are you doing now, playing nurse, so when yougo to hospital functions, everyone will crowd around and hang on to your every word, as you describe how you saved the world?

Lord knows I got hit on enough. Often by your own "friends" when you were out in the field or deployed. I was even tempted once when you were in fuckin Korea for so long. It was the only time I questioned being married to you.

We always discussed things before they festered and caused an argument.

When I met you in Hawaii at the six-month mark, you were smug and dismissed my home issues.

And you weren't even there as my wife. You went to bed early, woke up late, and were on your cell phone the entire time. As for home issues, I believe the conversation went like this;

"You are a sight for tired eyes, Marcy. What's happening back home?"

"Bills, the kids, work, same old shit. What do you care?"

"Let's talk, Marcy. I lost four men from nighttime mortar..."

"I'm tired, long flight, I'm going to take a nap."

Our kids needed two parents Rick. I tried to be both Mom and dad, but I am not you. Only you are you. And I needed my husband's touch, dammit! But I resisted being hit on and stayed true to you. Lord knows it was not easy.

Why didn't you tell me?

Then you went off to Iraq, and your darling Diedre Kline came home before you did. The bitch came to visit me, and with a smug look, she told me that she "took care" of you over there and then walked off before I could ask what she meant. But when you came back, I knew precisely what she meant. Any doubts I had you confirmed for me when you looked away in shame, Rick.

It didn't occur to you to talk to me? You believe the woman you hate and disbelieve the man you love?

I know two wrongs don't make a right, Rick. I also know that there is a chance you and her did nothing. In which case, I am the first cheater here with Trey. But I don't think I am. I think you did it. Maybe you did before or not. Perhaps it was the first time or not. But I am done being the dutiful wife waiting at home and being chaste for her war hero.

Wow, you are done, waiting at home for me, and being the wife.When Leslie told me she had the hots for you, I talked to both her and Vincent about it. He admitted he lets her have men. They have an open marriage. It would appear that I won't have breaking up their marriage on my conscience, just that I cheated on you.

So now you are pimping me out to ease your conscience. You talk to Vincent and Leslie but won't speak to me. You have more concern for their marriage than ours.

So, here is the gist of this situation we are in. I go on this trip, and during my absence, I am not your wife, and you are not my husband.

That has been true for a while, except I am a blind trusting fool. But don't worry, soon, none of your family members will have me to worry about; you, your children, and our parents.

You have a six-week hall pass, and I am giving myself one as well.

Except you choose your toy and mine too, and my toy wants to get me drunk.

The way I see it, if you and I still love one another, we will get past this when I see you on my return.

This isn't love; it's contempt for me.

If we don't, it will hurt, and I will mourn what you and I had and lost. But I can't see us being married and not doing this.

You'll mourn me for an hour, maybe two, and then you'll move in with another doctor.

Know this. I was not seduced by Trey or forced into it. I am doing this by my own choice and free will. I don't love him, but I do find him attractive. He will be nothing but a memory when I return if you will still have me. What I do with him after you divorce me... well, that won't matter then, will it?

Know this Bitch; his days as a hotshot brain surgeon are over around here.

Know this, Rick Weston. You have been and still are the love of my life. Even after you broke my heart, I still love you. It has been a privilege being your wife and mother of your children. But after all these years, I need a vacation from "us."

Know this Bitch. You used to be the love of my life. My heart is shattered and I hate you. It will bemy privilege to get you removed from being a hotshot surgical nurse. And you will get a verylong vacation from "us" for the rest of our lives.

Leslie is more than willing to fuck your brains out until I return. Vincent would pay you to let him watch. But that is your choice and decision to make. I would suggest you fuck her until she is cross-eyed and babbling. I know she will not leave Vincent for you. He lets her fuck many men. I doubt she wants to give that up.

Not interested; I only fuck a woman I'm in love with. I guess I'll never fuck again because I'llnever let another woman get close to me.

I'll leave you with one thought, Rick;

If you love someone, set them free. And then let them come back to you.

You're free, and you're not coming back because you won't find me.

I'll be back in six weeks.

Not if I have any say in the matter, maybe two weeks at the most.

Love you always and forever

In your dreams and my nightmares!

Marcy

Wrong, it's Bitch

PS. Leslie was supposed to get tested for STDs before she came over for her first time. Make sure she shows you that. Trey and I were both tested before we left. I will get tested for you before my return and not touch him or anyone else until you and I meet. Then I will show you my STD test. Please have one done a week before I return and abstain as well. If you and I are to make a go of it after my return, this will be our first sign of trust.

Did you get tested before you left? You said you and the great doctor had bumped uglies before.Trust? I am fucking LMAO

I have reserved a room for us at the Ambassador Hotel near the airport. If you still want me meet me there two hours after my flight is due back. I plan on going there alone after my arrival. Please don't come to the airport when my flight lands. Please don't make a scene. Either take me back or walk away.

You don't want me to see you kiss him goodbye.

I plan on seeing you at the hotel. I'll be waiting for you in the lobby.

If you wait, you'd better pack lunch.

* * * * ** * * * *

My turn, Bitch. If you had talked to me before we married and asked me to resign my commission, I might have. If you had talked to me after the kids were born and asked me to resign, I would have. At any moment between then and now, if you had asked the question, the answer would have been yes.

You never asked. You never gave me a chance to fight for you. How is this love?

24 wasted years.

Know this, Marcy Weston; keep blaming me for everything bad that happens to you from now on because I probably am responsible. And that goes for everyone on your team.

Fuck you and that horse's ass you're screwing.

AMF

* * * * *

As I folded the letter, the tall man handed me a packet and said the words a wife hopes she never hears, "You've been served."

I looked up, and all of the hospital team were gone, and the tall man was walking away. I turned to get my suitcases, and they were sitting on the floor, next to Kyle.

"Come on, Mom, I'll take you home."

Somehow he got me home in his Explorer, home, and into bed upstairs in my bedroom. The house felt empty. Kyle gave me a sleeping pill and told me to undress and go to bed. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

I slept, restless with bits and pieces of dreams flashing through my head.

When I awoke, I smelled breakfast floating through the air. I got up and went to the kitchen, and Kyle was making breakfast. He saw me and brought two plates to the table where a pot of coffee was waiting. After eating two helpings because I hadn't been eating the last four days, I opened the letter from the hospital. They requested I present myself at 9 AM Monday to the Hospital Board of Directors at the Hospital meeting room.

The packet held divorce papers, and I'll take them to our family attorney.

"Mom, what's in the letter from Dad?"

His answers to my letter."

"Can I read it?"

"Only if you understand that this is all my fault."

After reading all three pages, he asked, "This is all true?"

"Yes, so if you want to slap me, hit both sides."

My son hugged me.

Monday morning, I was sitting outside the meeting room dressed in my nurse's uniform. I wore no makeup, and my hair was tied up into a bun. Soon all three doctors and the other four nurses had arrived; the nurses were alone, but each doctor had a man with them, their lawyer? Before anyone could speak, the door was opened by a secretary, and we were summoned. There were eight chairs side by side and no extras, so the strangers stood behind their client.

The nine-member board was seated around an oval table from 9:00 to 3:00. There were only eight members present. Mrs. Chambers seemed to be in charge.

She spoke first, "Mr. Green, the Hospital Administrator, received a tip last week that our Doctor's Without Borders team was living it up in Bogota, not doing the number of operations expected of them. We received documents and pictures clearly showing that our doctors and some of the nurses were sleeping together. When we called for a board meeting Saturday, we questioned Dr. Brunner since he was the driving force for the trip and the location."

The secretary flipped a display board to show pictures attached to the board by thumbtacks. They were pictures of nurses coming out of doctors' rooms, pool shenanigans, and romantic holding hands photos.

"A bonus photo was sent to us." She held up a picture of a man wearing sunglasses and holding two very young girls in his arms. "I believe the board recognized the former Chairman of the Board."

"The question is, what do we do with you? The three doctors have lawyers, and the nurses do not. So I'll start with you, Mrs. Weston. Do you dispute the boards' version of events?"

"No."

"Do you wish to stay employed by the Hospital?"

"Yes, very much."

"Will you accept whatever discipline we mete out to you?"

"Yes."

"Please take a seat outside the room."

The other nurses came out and sat down in intervals of a minute. The two doctors that weren't Trey came out, and their lawyers left. Five minutes later, Trey and his lawyer stalked out and left. I later learned he was fired and not given a reference.

We were called back in and told that our punishment was thirty days off without pay and a job change in the hospital that we would be notified about. When we were dismissed, I left the room, raced to my car, and drove home. I spent my time off talking with both sets of parents, spending Kyle's 19^th birthday with him, and making phone and zoom calls to Rhonda, my daughter.

I didn't get the head nurse job, and I was transferred to pediatric surgery. After observing several operations, I was added to a surgical team. Assisting operations on babies was my new vocation at the hospital, and I threw myself into doing the best I could do.

I eventually sold the house and bought a two-bedroom condo near the hospital. At night I'd stare at the stars and wonder if Rick was looking at the stars with me.

Epilogue

It was a cool fall day, and a bearded man was splitting log segments into quarters and stacking them under a wide eave that would keep them dry while two dogs frolicked around his cabin. It had been a challenge getting started living off the grid in northern Montana. He added the two dogs to his life for his sanity; he had someone to talk to who agreed with everything he said. The cabin he bought was sturdy with all the basics, and he was working feverishly to get ready for winter. That night he went out and looked at the stars, wondering what she was doing and if he would ever go back to that other life.

The End