All Comments on 'Just One Last Dance'

This is a beautifully written love story, with intriguing characters and a romantic plot that tugs at the heart. The conclusion is a real tear-jerker. A truly wonderful if ultimately sad story.

brilliant

Well written, absorbing and emotional.

A beginning and an end. My God, Chloe, what a tour-de-force of a story. You had me gripped from the start and didn't let go until the very end. You certainly are Literotica's mistress of multiple genres. In my opinion this story is worthy of professional publication. I can't think of much more to say except... just brilliant!

I have read all the entries in “The End of the Affair” writing event - some were pretty good, others not so good, and most rather predictable - but this contribution was far and away the finest: Painful, poignant, highly erotic, mesmerizing - so well written. You captured and shared real feelings for your readers.

You made this whole account come alive. Thank you for a sad but moving story.

This was a brilliant piece - the best of the entries in "The End of the Affair" - how much longer are we going to get this author's work for free?

Your story gave me what I want from every story I read - to find myself somewhere other than myself and my place. You put me, a man, into a woman's emotional life. I lived that through your story. I've read good stories here on Literotica by both men and women which take me into the world of a woman's external actions. It is much more rare to find a story told entirely from the internal, emotional life of a woman. I think this is one of the best I've read. Thank you.

Good story!

5

Absolutely a brilliant story. So good that I didn't even mind it being written in present tense, with the reader's perspective as second person. In this case, it actually made the story more powerful. I truly felt the sadness and loss of the MC at the end. One of your best works.

Almost autobiographical by a self absorbed writer who lets an awful cheating man just walk out the door.

Maybe because this is written by a woman and is written from the viewpoint of the other woman,one who didn't know BF was married. The writing is superb, it is written in the kind of short,emotion packed stream of consciousness that works so powerfully, it rings true with the emotions. Of course I am jealous you write this well:)

Well done and shows what one finds out when there is another life your love leads. To bad there was no revenge.

Thank you for the story, Chloe. Well done, and I hope to see another from you soon. A five, of course. Randi.

Thank you for this beautiful effort. So real, so sad. I was even amazed when I saw a few typos realizing that you are creating this as fast as you can type without even rereading it. You have a beautiful mind.

Wow, amazing emotion, wonderful. 5 stars and then some.

...hence only a three...

But its not really a story, is it. Its a remembrance, an homage, a eulogy. Its an incredibly crafted and gifted monotone dirge recounting a common fatal accident, a necessary loss, the death of innocence.

He broke her hymen and her heart, and she will be a better woman for it. Like the sculptor who chips away the stone and reveals the angel, or the jeweler who cleaves the rock and exposes the diamond. And like the sculptor and the jeweler, the asshole loved this flower he plucked and cultivated, but he cannot keep her. He thought he was using her, but from a Darwinian perspective he was simply a catalyst of her growth, a small but critical component of the formula that will make her stronger, intelligent, resilient, perceptive, and discerning, oh so discerning. She won't be fooled again.

I wish I could feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for him, God, what he had, what he lost, what he will never know or understand. Darwin has other plans for him.

Very complex, yet it couldn't have been more simple, more raw, more real.

Thank you for your effort, and your talent.

Ms Tzang, Good evening Chloe, again you suck me into the story, I feel for the characters, yearn for the feelings and my emotions soar. Thank you, five stars isn't enough. cheers Terry

Interesting, but I still have trouble with your constant repetitiveness. It’s never enough for you to write/say something once, your style is to beat it to death. Sorry, but that detracts from your otherwise great stories.

I'm sorry, I simply don't like 2nd person stories.

Since I am mostly an LW guy, this was a completely different angle for a story for me, and I kind of got the feeling that I was looking over the protagonist's shoulder, kind of perving and very intimate. A five-star effort.

Hooked

Your stories are always a good read. The images always seem so clear!

Keep doing phenomenal work

Very hot and emotional story :)

Maybe next one with a impregnation angle?

I generally don not bother to read stories that are largely 2nd person, however, I usually find your stories inventive and interesting. This story does contain all of the elements I least like about your writing. It is repetitive as if it were written to maximize the number of words used. It also has a number of grammatical and spelling errors as if you did not bother to have anyone proofread it before posting. Also, you may have overdone the cutesy use of descending line lengths. That appears to almost be a trademark of yours (split infinitive). In a few cases you changed voice unexpectedly. Please have someone proofread you stories before publishing them.. To paraphrase Susan Sontag, use of proper spelling and grammar should make themselves unnoticeable. Failure to use such renders the written work annoying, at least momentarily.

What a mixed bag.

It deserves 5*s for the creative ability of ChloeTzang. Her word-Smith is unsurpassed 💯.

Unfortunate it deserves 1* for the obvious manipulation of the reader. The repeated hits on the head of the angst, suffering. ChloeTzang is making sure that the reader feels like crying😪.

It is a credit to her talent and ability that for so many pages, the story never gets boring.

Thanks for read.

I am also not a fan of 2nd person stories so I skipped through the sex scene. It became more interesting after that. The 2nd person perspective gave more weight to the emotional monologue which I wasn't really expecting but enjoyed none the less. So this is the first 2nd person story I not only finished but enjoyed

Very sad, touching and well written. Just well done.

I hate him. He is a user, using his wife and his duped lover.

An excellent story of how his perfidy was discovered. 5* story.

This is anthology-worthy - something you might read in the Best American Short Stories collections. Perfect cadence, perfect word choices. I now have to go through the rest of your canon. This is a talent that pretty much puts me to shame.

Too deep for some.

I have been following you for years, Enjoy all you write.

The fact that your style leans toward lyrics or poetry throws some. If repetition is bad, then the majority of song and prose is a failure,

Since you did not continue the story to satisfy those who don't have enough imagination to think what a hell his life will be when his wife lowers the boom - they believe you let him off the hook.

I know you too well for that.

In today's world his job and family are over. You don't get forgiveness after living such a lie for a year.

Affairs all end. Most very badly..

Wow.

This story was excellent. One of the best Living Wives stories that I’ve read in this site.

I don’t usually like the stories written as if to the lover. “You said this” and “You did that”. But this one I liked. A lot.

No no and no. Quit reading. Lust not Love. No character worth my time. 18 can forgive a little for lack of judgement. But only a little. How brought up to take a stranger back to home after just meeting?! No! jtwheels

I really wanted to like this story. I really did. Parts of it I really enjoyed, the way she discovers his deceitfulness is excellent. Her interactions with the wife and the final scene with the dance and the wife being there. Really good.

My main problem with the story is that I knew from the very beginning what the ending was going to be that he was cheating on his wife with her. Which means he was deceiving her from the beginning. There wasn't going to be a happily every after for them. So for me this made the love scenes (which made up about 2/3s of the story) irrelevant. I couldn't get into them because there was no way anything would come of it, it was meaningless. Which I'm sure most people don't care, but for me it made it very difficult to take.

I'm sorry, I normally enter a rating, but didn't this time, I just didn't feel I could accurately rate this story.

Thanks you for your submissions. Keep them coming. Sorry to be so negative, you submissions are what make this site possible.

but sad. Very sad to share through the words of the writer, how a young, beautiful love is suddenly dying from treachery, and how cruel and painful the end always is. This is a very passionate story, very poetic, very intimate and personal. It's well-written by a great writer. It's a scene of the life of a girl who became a woman, and fell in love with a mirage. The carnal passion from her lover was most likely real for she was an attractive woman, the spiritual love however, was a tainted love. Her loving feelings distorted by his lies. Nevertheless, the story transported me to my first love. The feelings were so strong, so impetuous, so vibrant, so passionate, so naïve, so pure, so marvelous...To love that way is a gift of life no matter the end. Thanks for the story, the efforts and the time to write it. Again, great story from a great writer.

Excellent, very powerful account of the emotions of an innocent young woman being duped by a player. One matter, by removing the condom he was committing rape, as by producing the pack she was consenting to sex, but only with a condom. (At least where I live the law makes it rape to do that, I know in parts of the USA rape laws are very weak.) In any event she should have realised what he was like when he did that. But she was young and naive. I found it believable.

Absolutely superb story and incredibly excellent writing.

Amazing. 10 stars, if I could give them. And my heartfelt thanks for writing and sharing this...

WOW!!!

Wonderfully written, tear jerker. I felt what Estelle felt. Thanks for writing that.

Thank you.

What an amazing piece of literature. This was so powerful and emotional. You can feel every bit of the love and pain the coward has wrought on this poor woman. So well written.

I couldn't get over the authors writing style. His style not my style. I found it annoying. Not just a little annoying but extremely annoying. I couldn't fathom reading past the first page. What was it I couldn't fathom about it, what is my reasoning for using the word fathom? I can't imagine no, wait. I meant I couldn't fathom continuing with this unfathomable annoying writing style, like I previously stated. It would have a lot more likes if more people thought I was wrong.

Awesome. What alan_dee couldn't find in the style, I did. Captivating, gripping, forceful like flowing silk. Wondeful story.

"second chance". ?????? WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK 🤔🤔🤔

Another one of her fabulous stories.

I think that Alan Dee is on a different Planet that the rest of us. i thought that it had every emotion written superbly. The first page sex was so hot I orgasmed before Estelle, All the sex was so erotically written, the raw emotions of him cheating her, brought tears to my eyes. This author is amongst the very best on this site.. There should be away of differentiating the worthy 5* from the very best stories on the site who are worthy of more, Shame i hope she puts it down to experience and realises that it wasn't a wasted 12 months, she learnt lots, that will stand her in great stead for the remainder of her life.