All Comments on 'Justice'

This is a well written, very enjoyable story.

A. VERY good story.

My only complaint is that you need an editor. There were a few instances of duplicate text within the story, (sometimes within a sentence).

Just as an example : I looked at looked at Lilac ...)

Even with the mistakes that interrupt the reading this is a GREAT story !!!!!

I really enjoyed it...I can't believe though that Mike was brought up to be such dweep! No compassion and understanding of the women that he "Loves" at all. He seems more like a 12 or 13 year old kid with his thinking. Until papa comes along and more or less tells him how to think about his situation Mike really doesn't have a clue!

Good yarn. Can't believe that anyone would find something to complain about.

They don't come any better! The ending always sell a story if you want?

Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us! ★★★★★Woof

Oh no. Trite and silly.

Well-written and certainly worth reading!

Sometimes reconciliation makes all the sense in the world.

The people castigating Mike and saying his wife should dump him for reacting so negatively to the news that his wife was a stripper are cracking me up. Who wouldn't have a negative reaction to learning that about someone they loved deeply, right AFTER marrying them?

It doesn't mean she's a bad person or that he should divorce her, it was just a misunderstanding (and possibly a deliberate one in her case, I mean, saying she worked at Fitzgerald's doesn't necessarily mean she's a stripper, even if he knew which place she was talking about. She could have just been a waitress.) Mike was perfectly justified in being upset, just as he was ultimately right to get over it fairly quickly and go back to his wife.

But sure, she should dump the dude immediately. She can go after the long line of decent husband material out there who are in a big hurry to marry a stripper.

Anyway, thanks for all of your wonderful stories, oshaw. You're definitely one of the best.

Cog

I hope you bless us with more stories. You came back to give us a good story and hope you will return yet again.

To me, this is one of oshaw's strongest writing efforts to date. This story had a flow which remained consistent throughout. Some of his earlier efforts seemed to get rushed as it neared the ending as though there was a word limit.

Neither Mike nor Lila are bad persons as some tried to make one or the other out to be. They are two young persons doing their best to figure out life, making decisions and reactions that may not always be the best. but learning from them along the way. Mike had his world view rocked and didn't know what to do. He listened to his father and learned to see Lila and his mother as women he very much loves. And, hey, Mike owned up to Lila that he was being a jerk, asked for forgiveness, and received forgiveness from Lila. That folks, is what a relationship is all about.

"Grief" is still my favorite of his stories as it touched personal events in my own life, but this was very enjoyable. Keep up the good work!

Absolutely great story.

Bravo well done!

Better than most of the movies I've watched on Netflicks...well done!

just read the last of your stories. this one is your best. the odd typo, no problem. no more awkward commas either. thank you!

Well Jim Bob, this is the first story I have read of yours. Yes, a few typos and I got confused briefly now and then on who was talking - but - well done. You kept me interested from beginning to your end. I only wished for another chapter with him being released from prison and connection with his family. Your story so I will go with your ending. Thanks! I will check for your other stories.

This is one of the most enthralling stories that I have read. Really moving and emotional. It would stand up as a novel. JS

Extremely unlikely story

Extremely wonderful story

Can't figure how it goes in loving wives, though.

Paul in Oklahoma

is a prig. An arrogant, insufferable, judgmental asshole. Lila should have slapped him silly and walked away. He knew about the "Gentlemen's Club" but assumed that she was talking about the tavern of the same name? As stupid as he is obnoxious.

You're a good story teller and writer, thanks for sharing, all your stories.........bill

5ssssss

And don't worry about your naysayers, you got their dander up. That is what a good story does

...writing oshaw.

I've felt that in the past over some of your other stories.

You have a delivery which intrigues and delights.

You are a master storyteller.

Thank you,

5 *

The BAR used a box magazine I believe. This is not the same as a clip such as the M-1 used. I think there one other small error in there, but the story was great.. For my money you are the best author on here.

I'm betting that everyone who read your comment knows who the arrogant, insufferable, judgmental asshole is. Go wash the Liberal bullshit streaks off your mirror, Mikey, and then take a hard look at what a stupid jerk looks like. (I coulda' said dumb fuck but I'm feeling charitable.)

This is a very well thought out and presented story. Worthy of all five stars.

Your storytelling keeps getting better and better with some real complexity to situations.

I sometimes wish for less "lit" and more "erotica" but these aren't wank stories by any stretch.

Keep up the good work.

PS - I think Mike shoulda been swatted across the head a coupla times in addition to hearing the family story from his dad. He got off too easy.

I kept thinking because Lila didn’t cheat, and didn’t lie, this maybe shouldn’t a been in LW category. Then it finally dawned on me the LW was more about Dawn (no pun intended). Sneaky how you snuck that in.

Bravo all around.

5-stars.

@BigK10 03/19/17 Re: Centerfold - Great comment! I'm a Boston boy, saw J. Geils many times when they were still playing small clubs, still a fav. J. Geils, RIP.

@boatbumm 03/19/17 Re: She told him? - I believe she told him that she worked at "Fitzgerald's," a not uncommon bar name, NOT that she was a stripper.

Meh...i hate story that has a statement from a girl friend/ hoe/sluts/Gold digger...saying " I'm pregnant". My answer will ALWAYS BE

#1. LETS WAIT FOR DNA TEST THEN GET MARTIED IF ITS MINE.

#2. ALWAYS SIGN An AIRTIGHT PRENUP.

This is what ill always enforce ON MY SONS. Oh and always dna test for all your kids.

Actually Oshaw, you about out-did yourself on this story! I really liked the whole thing, from plot and structure, to the great writing and ending, (the only way it should have!)

I'd of given you ten stars for this effort, if I could've! Hope my five stars vote...helps!

Thank you for the great story, great writing and such enjoyable reading!

This kept me interested from beginning to the end. It wasn't based on cheating or wimp husband but on people that had hard decisions. In the end we see several people who.made choices good and bad ones. But each forgave the other and built relationships for a lifetime .

I Am Amazed At Some Of The Anonymous Comments? They Obviously Had A Shocking Childhood!...To The Anonymous Commenters. .. Please:- I Don't Want To Know You Or You Know Me--So Take Your Pissy Sarcastic Annonymous Comments And Just Fuck OOffffffffffffff Copesh! (Can't Spell )

Anyway I loved the story -The Ending made the story Mother and Daughter In Law The Same Type Of Beautiful Women "Fan-Bloody-Tastic" ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Sorry, no stars Oshaw. Your stories are excellent, but this one fell flat due to:

* Unexciting and terrible protagonist. The main character mustn't be so self-centredly pathetic to such a degree that readers cannot empathise with them. Unless you are specifically going the cuck/wimp route (which aren't my cups of tea anyways).

* Deviant emotional immaturity: after the revelation of miscommunication of the past, everything for motives and actions hung on that, with a lot of filler flash back. But essentially, again, readers cannot easily get in touch with someone who has no EQ or is unreasonable to child-like levels right off the bat. The low EQ was a massive turn off. I was hoping the family would beat some sense into him, and truly warn the story's title.

* More fleshing out, less white noise: the back story was ok-ish, but served more as a page filler after the major turning point reached early in the story. It actually didn't contribute as a catalyst or springboard for future actions or real consideration. Also try flesh characters out more emotionally. Life tends to be more gritty and less whiny.

I like your writing overall. You, SS06, qhml1, and a few other authors strike generally good tones. Write better than I ever could. I really hope these comments help for furthering your writing chops, as I look forward your stories, especially under loving wives as my primary genre focus.

Best of luck!

I seriously doubt that. I kinda sympathized with Mike. I mean, a young man, newly married, finds out his new wife was a stripper? Yeah, that’s gotta be a little bit shocking. But then finding out later that his mother was also a stripper, and, addicted to heroin? Who’s head Wouldn’t that screw up. No, ‘Anon’, this was a very good story, you just couldn’t see the forest for the trees. And the twist at the end, when Mike found out that his mother was Dawn, that was great. All in all, a very good story.

Redemption, and being rescued from a really bad situation. To put it in stark terms Dawn was rescued from a form of slavery AKA human trafficking.

It constantly befuddles me that people miss the point of the story. They only see the human flaws then jump to judgement. Quit throwing stones when you live in glass houses people.

Read this multiple times and it gets a 5 star every time !

While I liked your primary story idea I would have enjoyed it more if the son wasn’t such an entitled wimpy guy. He jumped to conclusions even interrupting his fathers story. He needed a tour in the military to give him some real life perspective.

Never judge a book by its cover.

Original plot ! and great twist when revealing Dawn is really his mother!

I can comply thought that the story teller's point of view is a little wimpy... I don't know how to word it but being shaken by news untils the rugs appears to be pulled from under you is one thing... Going out to think and recenter yourself is more than alright, but complain that much ? Hum... Fearing what is entourage think or will do to him ? Hisch... Not so mature and well enough in his own skin. Make it fear to disapoint your mother because you respect and love her so much... Not cringe a the thought of a swat behind the head from his pop.

And even if a lot of the flashbacks added up solid foundation to better accede the story, it is a lot of fillings not so relevant some times, if at all... the one about Vietnam doesn't do very much here? Again about the whole recap about Dawn telling where she worked. And I think there must be a better way to tell how he got under her defenses. The dad could have cut is story in two resuming just the first half before he met Dawn to 2 small paragraphs... Would have helped keeping rythm steady in the main story.

Hey but i'm done with the suggestion points. I gave 5 stars and I would give that again. It's too easy being a critic without having experienced critic on the receiving end. The reading was still worth those 5 stars. And it is bookmaked!

Keep the good work !

Really enjoyed it, especially the revelation in the end! - But PLEASE,Oshaw, don't use words you do not know the meaning of. You have used :-- Reprehensible instead of Repulsive -- Acclimated instead of Proclaimed -- Restrain instead of Refrain and lots of others in your other stories( emasculated child instead of emaciated child etc.)

Get an editor.

Many of us have had "other lives" and they are part of what makes us who we are.

... except Mike. From the start with the rich douche who tried to buy their place I thought Mike was an asshole. He improved a little bit when he first met Lila and helped her out with her car and the class she was trying to pass but went back to his asshole roots later. By the end of the story I hadn't really changed my impression of him.

Every other person in his family was great. The story of his parents was very touching and it was nice that they followed their hearts and found love together. Honestly, Lila deserved much better than the behavior she got from Mike. While I understood his hesitation to marry someone who used to be an exotic dancer, the way he reacted when he found out was cowardly and selfish. Such a shame he couldn't be the man his father was.

She told him and then quit

Not her fault he misunderstood

He threw hissy fit

Leave him alone with his tantrums

Family great sorry they had such a son

I enjoyed this quite a bit. Mike was a turd of the highest order, but the rest of the family was great. Nice seeing both of the gang guys get taken down. And the twist at the end with the father was well done.

Five stars

The MARINES did NOT have a weapon called a bar in Vietnam. We had automatic weapons in the squad that were M-14's converted to automatic. Also there was a weapons platoon consisting of three squads, consisting of 18 men- 13- M-60s and 5 rocket launchers. At least it was this way in 65 and 66 when I was there in the MARINES!!!

His head out of his ass, it happened before they got together and stopped immediately after the first date. It isn't a bar, it's BAR as in Browning Automatic Rifle, problems being heavy with a slow rate of fire in modern (?) warfare, but it didn't jam. Bob Seger is from Detroit, Michigan, concert tickets there seem to sellout in 0 time. My all time favorite has always been "Old Time Rock and Roll", but that wouldn't have worked nearly as well as "...Main Street" in this gem. Signed: BTW

assssnomunus comment, you seem to get peoples names cornfused. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

His family are the real hero's in this story. He is disgusting !!!

Eom

Thanks for the read.

that i stopped reading half way through the first page. He is a real dumbass fuckhead.

You are one of the very best authors I've ever read.Your storiesare original and some made an old man get dust in his eyes.Really really magnificent

What a fantastic piece of quality literature! Brilliantly written story that wasn't predictable and the plot twist was totally believable. It's a captivating and romantic read that teaches you that people can recover their lives despite past mistakes! True Love can overcome bad decisions and terrible acts if the two parties have good hearts and strong back bones!!!

The basic story was good, but all the parental back stories left me uninterested and disbelieving.

Mike was too self-righteous an asshole. He knew Lila's background, and here was a person with no family and no money trying to survive and advance, while Mile benefited from family that paid for everything. Who is the hero here? If I was Lila, I would have dropped Mike, because he was not deserving of her.

Not all strippers are prostitutes, but would you believe Lila? How did she get pregnant if she was abstaining before marriage???

A good story, though far too long in the telling.

She was a stripper, was honest about it and told him.

What was his problem with that???

I would have had more trouble with her bitch attitude.

All well and good.

Basic message was that loose morals are good for everyone.

Mike annoyed the crap out of me. I kinda wanted to reach into the screen and slap the shit outta him more than once..

Enough said. Bravos. Wish there were more from this writer.

Amazing story. The husband is an idiot however.

Almost like a Rod Serling ending. What a great unexpected story!!

That was a really great story with a twist that I worked. Nothing too over the top, just great characters that you could really pull for. Amazing work.

What an arsehole Mike is.Pity Lila was pregnant otherwise she should have thrown him out.

Excellent tale. Loved the reference to "The Solution to Hodge's Conjecture". Links your stories together. Hope you are still writing?

It was tough getting past the first page.

Mike is completely justified in his reaction. Any man worth his salt wouldn't marry a woman from the sex entertainmeny industry. Only betas, cucks and no confidence losers would marry a Lila without seriously second guessing them.

Thought you had a good premise, but the story was too predicable.

Worked with guy that talked about his wife and how much he respected her.

He also talked about the woman/girls he screwed before he married he. He explained you keep nice girls nice without mentioning the girls he had sex with. Bit of a double standard wouldn't you say! Men want sex, woman want sex, but men want a pure woman, give a break. I married a 19 year old with a 2 year old, she had more experience with sex than I had at 24. Like I said give me a break men want a virgin, but they want sex any time?...................................

Long intricate story but the right ending.fsr as I am concerend.

Love is a life sentence. Sex is an accepted pass time among consenting adults. Exotic dancing is a legal profession that pays well. Men, (and some woman), enjoy or get titilated watching young beautiful woman dance, so? Would a gal watching male hunks dance have the same attitude? As some have voiced in their remarks. People are people some of us have questionable morals and others condemn them or any on they deem that don't 'measure' up to their standards. Did you here the one about this guy was looking for the perfect girl? After years he finally found her, problem was she was looking for the perfect guy! Good story

AWESOME!!!! This was a tear jerker to beat all tearjerkers. I loved it. My wife thought I was crazy. Then she read it. She still thinks I'm crazy, but the Empress of Manticore approves. 10 stars, before it deserves it. Change the rating system. The Bear heartily approves. Viet Nam Vets make great heroes. A man's got to do what a man's got to do.-John Wayne

The BEAR

Mike was a shit. Really hard to empathize with him. Also, really immature reaction as she did tell him gar before hand.

Another good story from you, I hope at some point you return to writing here

Great story, but Mike is an idiot and a piece of shit.

Lovely story, Oshaw! Enjoyed it immensely !

I think you are becoming one of my favorite authors. I never saw that coming. Great Story. I read Grief and enjoyed it, then Interest and liked that one, but this one was awesome. Thank You. I think I will read all of them now.

The cliche about girls putting themselves through collage by stripping but being good and faithful girls at heart always makes me chuckle a bit.

The willingness to bare your tits to strangers instead of buckling down and spending a 10 hour shift on your Saturday and Sunday behind the counter of your nearest fast food restaurant speaks volumes to character and morals of said girls. Besides, anybody really worth receiving a collage education should be able to get good grades while holding down at least a part time job. If you can't then you simply aren't college material. Full stop.

You see, son, your mother was a whore, and I’m a cuck. Didn’t you realize that we raised you to expect the same thing for yourself?

ZK

Man this guy can spin a yarn...the usual with Oshaw...tears and joy....5 stars

Awesome!

5+++.... Stars!

Mike is clearly an outstanding candidate for the sanctimonious, hypocritical dick of the year. Great little story, though.

LA

Brilliant and moving.

5 stars

another tear jerker I plan on looking for alot more of your stories 5 star

He's an idiot, bonafide card carrying idiot. She stopped as soon as she started dating him, she was a stripper/dancer, he's an uptight a-hole. 3/5

better than excellent. awesome story

Brilliant story

Really liked it

A real story.Really good

I almost didn't finish reading this story. The "dickhead," Mike, needed his bride to take him by the balls and march him to a judge and have the marriage annulled. The weasel dickhead couldn't and can't be trusted to be a father. She is better off raising her kid by herself.

Great story, one of the best.

One of the best!!

The twist saved this story; otherwise the whole thing would have hinged on Mike who's a holier-than-thou hypocrite. Thank god for the dad's backstory, which was quite gripping. 5

What a Bard. Frustrating forward, then a harrowing thriller. A romantic conclusion (don't judge a book by its cover?) Cool.

Wow what a twist. The flashback got so interesting that I forgot about the actual present story. Lol. Great story. Thanks for writing.

Now that is how you tell a story. The backstory inside the rest of the story just made it so real and so interesting. Loved it.

For Christ's sake she was a stripper, who cares. The dude has issues

If you are not convinced by reading oshaw's stories that he is a hell of a writer, the comment section should make you a believer. People, it is fiction!

One of the best writers on Lit, no doubt

I couldn't finish this story. Why is your main character so hung up on the fact that his wife was a stripper for the literal first week of their relationship. The dude is a cu

The skill of this writer made it a 5. Even though I, too, wondered why, given what he already knew of her sad background, why having been a stripper would be such a big deal. Still, QuickMagazine suspended disbelief, as is the QM wont, and was suitably moved. Interesting also to note that in the intro, oshaw noted a hiatus (it HAD been almost two years between "I" and "J"). There's been a 4-year hiatus since "Kept" (which I'll read next). Is it too much to hope for that these 4 years are another hiatus, and not a retirement? (or worse)

If she was a stripper without him knowing it while they were dating, I could see his issue. However, shaming her for being a stripper BEFORE they were boyfriend/girlfriend is ridiculous. What a tool and what a dumb premise to base a story on.

Poor Mike missed the grow-up pill, got his degree, and was still a sophomore. Weak dick.

That was a great story! Thank-you! So enjoyable!

You've done it again. A truly touching story that brought tes