Jym E 01

Jym E 01

So, I'm Jym E (Jimmy James) and I'm probably quite of a different type of a guy than you are or at least what you might expect from another guy, unless you like your other guys in Capri pants, which, then I might just be right up your alley.

Oh, but don't try to convince me that the alley behind the Middleton Strip is a great place for us to first meet. I've been there a couple of times, but I first met my alley dates at a place where my story starts today, which is the twice monthly Dunn's at Dusk clambake event on the Middleton River.

Anyways, last summer, while I was attending a graduation party for my old school mate Blake, I struck up a convo with one of the parents in attendance, Mrs. Palmer, who was wise about me and threw out a solution to one of my problems at the time. A job. A twice monthly part time, but a job just the same.

"Well, let me ask you this, little Jimmy James, does your momma buy you the type of undies that you really want to wear or would a few extra dollars in your back pocket come in handy then, hmm?"

Well, Mrs. Palmer made a good point.

"And don't be too worried about if my faggot hubby offered you the same job a few minutes ago just over there behind the Punch Bowl table by stuffing your back pocket with a "signing" bonus. He likes your graduation picture, but he's limper than the noodles in Mrs. Conner's spaghetti salad, so."

Well, my graduation picture was a little questionable, but my smaller and softer face was never meant to be in group football photo. Also, hmm, Mr. Palmer may not be as limp as Mrs. Palmer thinks he is or cares about, but that's none of my business. Or he had one of Mrs. Kendal's party egg rolls in his pants. Either way, something pressed against me that day.

Anyways, I took the job, but don't get too excited about my working at the very popular clambake at Dunn's at Dusk along the Middleton River. My first season assignment was actually the next Sunday morning as a pebbly beach area cleanup crew member. Which was yucky, ewe, stinky and all the way back around to yucky, but I liked the latex gloves that we wore and the rake and the spikey poker stick, so it wasn't the end of the world.

And it was where I officially became an honorary member of Blake's nerd crew because Mrs. Palmer was his auntie and Blake was the guy who, for lack of knowing his actual job title, Blake refilled in the sand pit steaming pits, which were more of a long trench and then reshaped the sandy steam cooking area up to the sandy and pebbly mounds and since he was a super nerd and needed friends as bad as I did, well, we became friends.

Oh, and I think I earned the honorary nerd crew member status when about the fifth cleanup Sunday, with Mrs. Palmer's permission, of course, I showed up for work fully dressed. And since it was a Sunday morning and it's so hot anyways where we live, fully dressed actually meant the other way. I don't wear short shorts a lot over my beloved Capri style pants, but I worked on a pebbly sandy beach area, so that became my work uniform for the rest of the clambake season. Not the work uniform that I'm going to describe for this season of work, but I don't want to jump ahead.

Anyways, I knew that dressing outside of my closet was working for me as soon as Blake's lieutenant nerd, Josh, started to show up early on those Sunday mornings to you know, make sure his nerd boss was weathering the morning heat alright from all that sand pit shoveling, even though he spent more time keeping his eye on me! And it didn't hurt when he finally mumbled, well, he blurted out that their nerd crew was open to having, erm, some eye candy around, so I got that job too. I think.

Which, no, no, no, that's not how things went down. I mean, I worked on a pebbly sandy beach, so it was right there to draw a line in the sand, but the attention was nice. LOL, their thoughts probably weren't very nice, but we managed. I mean, one of my cleanup tools was one of the spiked poker sticks, so, you know, day dream if you want, but keep your distance because if you try to poke me, well, I can and will poke back! Wait, well, I mean with my spiked poker stick, so.

Besides, Blake and Josh were both so challenged in the relationship department that there was little for me to worry about (crossing fingers). Also, erm, Blake, probably never, but I like how confused he gets sometimes and for how he keeps after it and Josh, well, maybe two shy people could find a moment off the side, but since other things have worked out so well for me, I have many, many other options now. Also, also, sheesh, Josh could put in a little more effort and create a moment!

So, that was last summer's clambake season.

Now, let's get up to the present and if you're curious about me, as I previously mentioned, I have more than my share of softer features, I part my longer hair in the middle and pretty much have it styled like a certain Aussie actress from her TV show, including the two loose bunches that hook under my jawbone when I pull it into a ponytail, which I actually added on my own and the Aussie actress will also come up a little later, I'm not too tall, I love my Capri style pants in Denim, light cotton or any Lycra blended material, my upper lip formation even catches my eye, I go with the flow, to date anyways, I do go out more now since dressing on the job worked out so well for me, I do wear the undies that I always wanted to wear on a daily basis no matter what and as I quietly mentioned above, I have hung out on the Strip a few times and I have been in the alley a couple of times, but my experiences are still pretty low level, I've mastered curling one leg under when I sit on a couch and thanks to a blonde Tranny named Jane on Chang, I've also mastered that slightly over the shoulder gaze, you know, while sitting on a couch with one leg curled underneath me.

So, what do I do at Dunn's at Dusk then, you wonder? Well, the steaming area, the grilling area and the boiling water area basically forms the three sides of a rectangle and the service table completes the square box and I dart back and forth moving the serving pans of steamed, grilled and boiled seafood, melted butter and the veggie food pans flowing from empty to full. Or vice versa, I don't know. We can debate it if and when you come to see me, I guess.

Anyways, I'm not a server as much as I am a runner, but it pays, I almost have enough time to meet new people, I get along with Mrs. Palmer from the steamy sand pits, Pauline on the veggie grill and Sandi on the water boiling stove, I was able to put together my own work uniform, which I really like and I think you would like and I have on occasion managed to plate clambake a platter basket for a couple of guys who pay back attention.

And fortunately for me, LOL, and for everyone else, there is very little science behind plating a magazine picture perfect seafood combo platter. It's a free for all and even the worse scoops and plops seem to balance out on the platter. Well, the small pieces of corn on the cob and the grilled asparagus either need to top off the platter basket or at least line the sides, but all of the cams, mussels, crab legs, escargot, yucky river snails and such can just go "splat" on the platter and sploosh, you end up with a decent distribution and mix of quahog grey shells, mussels black shells, orange legs, crispy brown things, red potatoes, corn, asparagus, all on a basket platter and ready to eat!

Well, the oysters on the half cannot be splooshed and splatted, but people seem to have figured that out on their own.

Also, ugh, the woven baskets are plastic, but they look like wood. Oh, also, also, tee he, the large serving utensils look more like miniature beach shovels and rakes than your normal large serving spoons and forks and they are changed out with every refill pan, by me, of course, under Mrs. Palmer's frowning eyes because she likes it clean.

And to finish up with the popular Dunn's at Dusk clambake background, unlike the free for all plating of the mixed seafood items, your attendance requires a reservation or to be invited and it tops out at about 35 heads and your wallet had better be fat!

So, since this story is about me, let me move into the work uniform that I pulled together, which, and these are not my words, looks very pulled together. But I cheated on the matching of the orange crab legs because I couldn't find an undershirt orange fishnet shirt to wear, so it's maroon red. Also, I do not look good in orange, so.

Anyways, assuming that you are not attending the Dunn's at dusk clambake dinner service tonight, here is how you would have found me in my uniform.

Since the hard shells of the quahog clams and the mussels and the snails are themed in silvery grey to black, that was the same color themes that I embraced, light to medium grey, mixed with a little bit of black.

Since my comfort zone is in almost any style of Capri pants, I found a pair of beach capri pants in a silvery grey Lycra blended material and everyone knows how those fit, so I bottom finished those with a pair of flat grey deck shoes, accented trimmed in white, of course, a charcoal grey fishnet style choker, the maroon fishnet undershirt, a light grey beach logo 3/4 sleeve collared shirt because I don't care for the fingerless glove sleeves, double undies, a CK grey thong style under a pair of black boyfriend shorts because I really like the shape and fit of boyfriend shorts, a small dark grey bandage for the bridge of my nose, LOL, three spare band aids in case my face gets into the steam of the pebbly sand cooking pits as I'm working the serving table, my best Aussie Aimee hair, in a ponytail for food prepping purposes, of course, sparse, but pretty standard facial makeup and black serving latex gloves.

Oh, and in my truck, I kept a backup medium grey pullover college logo hoodie for later in the evening because that's how they always do it at clambakes in the movies!

Anyways, I agree with those who have said that I looked well put together and you're just going to have to attend and eat at Dunn's at Dusk for yourself to give me your own personal opinion of my uniform. And since Dunn's at Dusk is only twice monthly, don't put it off if you want to figure out the rest of me and by the way, your opinion matters to me, so, get with it then!

So, my story today begins earlier in the day last Saturday during my dressing prep time at my apartment, which was somewhat interrupted by Blake, my new friend and best of all, my now ex co-worker, since my promotion from cleanup crew to food pan slinger was said and done.

"Blake, I'm happy that you and Josh are actually attending the clambake dinner tonight as paying guests, but my job is not of that as a server! You and Josh will have stand in the service line just the same as everyone else. Besides, there will be a few people in attendance that I know from hanging out on the Strip and I don't need these people seeing me as server! There are too many card games out there and some of those faggots, I mean, guys, have already asked me to take care of their card gaming needs and that's not going to happen!"

[Text photo sent. Sent from like two steps away. Photo opened and viewed]

I think I mentioned above that the Aussie actress (Aimee) would come back around, right?

"OMG, screw you, Blake! Where did you get this? Hey, wait a minute, this is just a thumbnail photo, butthead! What am I supposed to do with a thumbnail photo, Blake? I need and want a poster quality and screen saver size!"

"And the full-size high-quality photo is lined up next in the photo folder on my phone, so, Jym E, so do Josh and myself get special treatment tonight or not then, hmm? And since you're basically afraid to walk from the parking area to the pebbly beach area alone, I mean, can I arrive early and escort you safely then, hmm? And why don't you dress like this when we play video, hmm, Jym E?"

"Blake, get a grip and as for that other thing you asked of me earlier, even though I want that screen saver photo bad, I'm your second best-friend behind your lieutenant nerd, Josh, so scrubbing my back in the shower is out of the question too! And not only because that's dangerous! Also, I've showered already, which leads me to I need to finish getting ready for tonight, so, bye, bye then, Blake, okay?"

"Sheesh! Offer to help out and that's the thanks I get then, sheesh. Well, at least try to hook me up with Peacock Penny tonight then, okay, Jym E?"

"OMG, if someone would have told me that this is day the earth explodes, I wouldn't have bothered to wear two pairs of undies!"

"Fine, play hard ball with me then, Jym E. Oops, wait, did we cover you playing with my balls?"

"OMFG, covered and also out of the question, Blake! However, since..."

"Aha, aha, aha..."

"Ahem, since you keep after it without a lot of pressure, if there is a moment, maybe I'll serve, I mean, deliver a couple of combo platter baskets to Josh and yourself, but no promises, Blake!"

Best friends, right?

"And since Peacock Penny has swindled me out of my truck tonight, I may..."

"Aha, aha, aha..."

"Ahem, I may ask her or Mia Maya if they know of a geeky outcast, I mean, a desperate, I mean, down on her luck, I mean, a suitable clambake date for you to wander down the couple's trail after the dinner service later tonight, so, bye, Blake."

I mean, nope, never with me, but Blake has some promises for someone else. I think. Oh, and I will get that screen saver photo one way or other, only not by means of that other.

Oh, and the screen saver photo that I was actually desperate for, which I will get, was a screen shot poster from the opening credits of Aussie Aimee's TV series, which I really liked because it was an artist's drawn rendition of a scene with Aimee in a hoodie looking spooky and that's what I liked, even though her hoodie was black.

So, back to how Peacock Penny swindled me out of my truck for the night since, you know, why do you need your truck sitting in the parking area if you're working, right? But it was Penny Peacock, so.

[Beep, beep, beep]

And there was never any question at all that I rode in the rear seat when I picked up Peacock Penny and Mia Maya.

"Ta da!"

"Holy shredded green shirt, Peacock Penny! Your shirt of shredded frilly fringes and tassels is hot! OMG, and it goes all the way around and is your perfect bright blue color!"

[Peacock Penny twirls and helicopters the tassels]

"Tee he and it perfectly matches my peacock green bra [a teasing lift of the fringes as a bra flash] underneath."

"Holy hell, there is no shirt! That's hot! Also, oops!"

"Oh, well, I mean, well, Tori from Hillsdale shredded this shirt for me and insisted that, well, I'm wearing a Peek A Boo bra tonight, so what, Jym E, hmm?"

[Another flash of the matching green peacock Peek-A-Boo clambake bra]

"Aha, aha, aha, it's perfect! They are perfect! I mean, it's all perfect! Helicopters absolutely rule! Also, hey, Mia Maya, um, you talk now, so?"

[Oh, a close quarters hello greeting, a very close quarters greeting with a squish and a smash]

"Hi, Jym E."

"Oh, hi, Mia Maya, so?"

[Smash, squish, press]

"Well, Peacock Penny told me that you listen better, Jym E, when there is a pair of boobs smashing into your body, so?"

[Smash, smash, squish, squeeze, squish]

"I mean, Peacock Penny never tells me anything, but you should keep talking, Mia Maya!"

[Smash, press, squish, smash]

"[Smash, grind.] We have to pay the boat girl for the extra beverages, so?"

[Smash, press, squish, smash]

"Oh, ooh, oh, wait, Riley, the screaming boat pilot?"

[Super smash, super squish]

Well, I have used the Pay Me Now App from my phone for a couple of years, so, that's easy and safe enough to avoid getting yelled at. Which Riley thinks it's all at normal talking levels.

[Weep]

"FUNDS RECEIVED!"

[Weep]

"Say "hey" 2 me later, Jym E."

[Smash, press, squish, smash]

"I mean, tee he, there is more for us to talk about then, Mia Maya, tee he?"

"Well, Peacock Penny has two large expandable tackle-tool boxes loaded with her extra, extra, extra hair extensions for tonight, so, be a dear and load both of them into the back seat of your truck then, Jym E, okay?"

[Smash, press, squish, smash]

Well.

"Hmph! That's a hefty three pressing into me, Jym E!"

Well.

"Alright you two, break it up! And I only need to expandable tackle-tool boxes of colorful hair bunches tonight because it's Strip Night at Dunn's at Dusk clambake, tee he, which is really funny to say, but let's get with this!"

And getting with it, we did.

"Okay, Jym E, we'll walk you down the trail to the pebbly beach area since it scares the bejesus out of you to walk alone and because we want our wrist bands early.

Great! Of the three trails available to take, the date gang bang trail, the couples trail and the beaten down trail, we took the beaten down trail, sometimes known as the bird hunting trail and we were with Peacock Penny!

"Oh, we're earlier than I thought we would be. Two, oh, we're early enough, Jym E, that you can chit chat with Kenny before you get after it behind the serving table! Three, oh, hey there, Kenny, you remember Jym E, right?"

Hmm, nothing about that said set up, right?

"Tootles!"

Also, peacock's look even better when they are dashing away!

"Hey."

"Oh, Kenneth, erm, so, that was a crazy encounter that you had with that shark while you were out in the Atlantic deep-sea fishing! Was that shark lady able to free it from your deep-sea fishing gear then? The video on Chang cut off, which, OMG, the shark didn't bite off the video guys arm, did it?"

"Whew, no, but talk about a surprise catch, right Jym E? And the shark lady tour guide got that shark on its back and went all "grab, wrestle, twist, pull, twist, yank and boom" and that was that and the shark split! It wasn't a huge shark and I think Andrea the fishing guide has done that before, but that was crazy as hell! And I still count my fingers every night since! And the video guy only passed out from how frightening it all was, so."

"Oh, well, as long as your younger brother and his camera are okay then, so..."

"Oh, look, quaint little small talk! Listen, Kenny, I left three additional colorful hair extensions bunches in Jym E's truck and I could really them so the rear of my hair points three more directions, so, be a dear and retrieve them for, hmm? And Jym E can show you where we parked his truck, so?"

"Oh, sure, Peacock Penny, I mean, my momma would never forgive me if I let you walk down the bird hunting trail alone, so."

"Okay, well, get with it then!"

Well, nothing about that said set up again, right?

"Kenneth..."

"Ah-ahh, ah-ahh, ah-ahh, Jym E! Kenny. My grandfather is Kenneth and my dad is Ken, so, it's Kenny. And obviously, my younger brother, the video guy, is Kensington."

"Well, Kenny..."

"And might I say that you look very nice tonight, Jym E. Like really put together, so?"

"Oh, thanks, I shopped on the "We Have it in Grey" website, but listen, Kenny..."

"Jym E, there is no harm with us taking the couples trail to your truck, so?"

"No, no, Kenny, I'm okay with that, just like I'm okay with you, but seriously, are those pieces of wood nailed to the trees so the guy can climb the tree with his back to it and then have something to stand on to put him at the perfect height so his girlfriend doesn't have to kneel down on the ground then, hmm?"

"Oh, tee he, so you noticed that then, hmm? Well, Jym E, I promise that my initials are not carved into any of the blow job tree steps, tee he and lots of people have the initials KXZ, so?"

"Hmph! Well, my fantasy is more of a laying down and leg hugging type of thing anyways, so?"

"Oh, so, like behind the pebbly sand mounds then, huh?"