All Comments on 'Karl's Revenge'

I did remove a negative comment. "Poor Effort". I'd like that comment writer to leave more information if possible. I am actually writing Erotica to improve my writing skills so if you can give me some detailed information on why you didn't like my story such as content, writing style, punctuation and grammar, with enough information that I can come back and use that to improve and develop something you really do enjoy reading. Turn your poor experience into a growth experience for me. Thanks for taking the time to have an opinion though.

Well, ask and ye shall receive. In point of fact, you had issues with most of the deficiencies that you'd mentioned: style, grammar, spelling, punctuation and narrative were all lacking finesse and skill. A story is not just the nuts and bolts of a string of events. It's depth-of-character, it's sensory description (odors, tastes, colors, sensations), it's thoughts, it's challenge and growth... developing a character's motives for something doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be!) so black-and-white. I didn't get the chance to really identify with ANY of these characters and they all came across as feeling a bit one-dimensional to me, from start to finish. It might have been a little more engaging if you'd gone with a first-person perspective rather than third-person.

On the technical side of things, I saw grammatical and typographical errors throughout the story. EDIT, EDIT, EDIT! Go through your work THREE times at the end of EVERY writing session. Doing so will not only ensure that you can correct writing errors, it will help you to maintain continuity and possibly even give you MORE writing material. When going back and editing a story, don't be afraid to add more to it if a good and juicy idea pops into your head- better to play it out and see how it works than to be left wondering if you'd really done the best job possible on it much later, after it's already been published.

Don't be afraid to criticize your own work. Don't beat yourself up, of course, but learn how to become your own best and worst editor/critic. Push yourself to put out the BEST possible work that you can, even if it means taking more time and effort.

Thank you for coming back with that much detail. I appreciate that. I'll see if I can't go back and work on this some more.

that was awesome. Darker than i usually enjoy but you were very descriptive and pulled the story through a great ending.

I dont normally go for the non-consensual stuff but this one really it did it for me

thanks!

kenderkn

I found this after seeing your pics over in the forums, and... WOW... this is very perverted story. Just what I like! I thought the image of him using a strap-on to fuck her in two holes at the same time was one of the hotter things I've seen in a long time.

Keep up the good work!

Loved the story. The sister/sister was great.

Fucking wonderful, acted this out with some girl friends of mine, got drunk on cunt nectar and drenched the girls in spunk as well as filling all their holes. More please more and soon. Sex maniac cunt lapper Lancashire England

Perverted storylines is the reason everyone cums here. You definitely have a vivid imagination. I would like to read more works you have done

And I'm not sure you expected that reaction. It was way over the top to be believable.

And that was crazy revenge. Don't see how he could bear to hurt the kids he supposedly loved considering that it was their mother that cheated. Should have taken his revenge on Nicole.

Yeah, both the girls are going to go from horrified to accepting and then want to play with their Mother too. Couldn't have been worse if you had tried to make it bad. When are they going to allow negative scores on Lit? Cuz this deserves a - 100.

writer is fucking sick.

The story might have turned out kind of hot in some ways, but I just couldn't finish reading it. I knew the dad (if not mom) was mentally retarded and fucked up right away when they wouldn't let the girls date till they were over eighteen. Talk about making them turn into walking tragedies because they never had the chance to get real world social experience before they were turned loose on the deviant fucked up men in the world, not knowing what to look out for, lol. Oh wait, guys like him make the list! Lol.

I love a great, hot twins story, probably more than most, but any guy happy and willing to rape his 'daughters' to spite his wife, (who he obviously wasn't paying enough attention to) needs to have his dick cut off after he's had boiling water poured on it and red hot needles shoved through it.

Hell, you knew he wanted to fuck them as soon as he got hostile seeing other guys looking at them! Typical 'daddy wants nobody but himself to be fucking his girls' syndrome, no incest title needed! Hehe.

Anywho, not leaving a rating since I didn't finish it, not complaining about the author writing it, it was obviously well done after seeing the ratings, just venting a bit about the type of story, and probably real world nutjob guys just like that!