Kat, Full Novel

Kat laid back down and stared blankly at nothing. She was quiet for a moment, breathing deeply. "I..."

Smiling down at her, Alexa said, "It's not something you have to choose right away. But... I've been thinking. About you. Your wants and desires. And I think that this may be in your best interest."

Alexa felt a sadness fill her heart like water filling a sinking ship. Just feeling Kat's hair in her hands felt right. The silky softness of her short hair, the smoothness of her face, her little features that made her look so gentle and small. To lose her would puncture Alexa like a hole-puncher, but... if it was best for Kat, it was best for her.

"May... may I think about it, Mistress?" Kat asked, a worried look falling on her face.

Alexa nodded. "Of course. Take your time. Just think about it, alright?"

"Yes, Mistress," Kat said, quietly shifting in her bed. She looked uncomfortable, and Alexa understood why. This was a big option. Most likely a shock, too.

Alexa stood and said, "Ah, and you don't have to worry about your old Master anymore. He's been taken care of. Got Cobb's special treatment." She chuckled and turned for the door. "I doubt he'll be back anytime soon."

But just before she left, she heard Kat whisper," Thank you, Mistress."

Kat, Final

She could be free. If she really wanted it, freedom was hers. She didn't suspect her Mistress of lying, not now. Not anymore. Kat sat in the garden, enjoying the breeze, and thinking. The wind rolled over her like a sigh, rustling her hair and cooling her off. It was freeing. It was freedom. She could taste freedom.

Only, it wasn't really, was it? A strange thing was happening to her. She wanted to serve Mistress Alexa more and more. Not just by doing her chores, but by bringing her Mistress coffee, or massaging her, or other small things. For some reason, Mistress Alexa's smile soothed Kat now, more than ever now. She wanted to see more of it. To please her, in a way. And after the night of intimacy they'd shared, she wasn't sure she wanted to let that go.

It was funny, life. The way things changed in the ways you least expected them to. It had blindsided Kat, hit her like a truck, but it was there. The change. The growth. It was real. And for a moment, she thought she could feel content somewhere deep down, deep in the hurt that'd been inflicted upon her by the beast known as life. And she smiled. She was happy.

What if she stayed with her Mistress, after she was freed? Would her Mistress even let her? Maybe they would get married someday, or something ridiculous like that. The thought of it brought a blush to her face. How embarrassing, she thought, to be thinking like that towards her Mistress. And there it was again. The want to serve.

But there was still one lingering question at the back of her mind. She stood and stretched, yawning under the pleasant warmth of the sun, before heading around the house and back inside. There, she started searching the rooms for her Mistress, starting in the kitchen, and then finally, checking the study.

Her Mistress sat there, door open, reading something. It was a thick tome, but fresh and new. Kat knocked on the door, and then knelt. Mistress Alexa jumped, but seeing Kat, chuckled and sighed, saying, "Come in."

Kat crawled into the study and knelt before her. She closed the book, and only then did Kat see that it was called On the Legal Binding of Slaves. Kat stared at it for a moment, before realizing that her Mistress was watching her expectantly.

Shaking her head, she said, "Mistress, if I may, I have a bold question."

Mistress Alexa nodded and hummed. "How bold?"

"Very," Kat whispered, looking down. It was a question that'd run through her head nearly every day since she'd been offered freedom, and it was something she needed to know. "Mistress, am... am I a replacement for Sarah?"

Mistress Alexa leaned back and crossed her legs. "Ah, I see."

Kat flinched, but knelt still. "I-I'm sorry if it is too bold of me Mistress. I just... I just worry that..."

"No, no, that is a fair concern," Mistress Alexa said, nodding. "I've asked myself that question too, you know. I've wondered if that's what you were to me. Just another Sarah."

Kat winced at that, but her Mistress continued, "But do you remember our conversation? About what it means to be a slave?"

"Yes, Mistress," Kat said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I see you as human, Kat. Just like I saw Sarah. And... no matter how hard we try, we can't replace people. We can only replace things. No, you're not a replacement for Sarah, and you never could be. But you're Kat, and I'm happy with that," she said, smiling wistfully.

Kat thought on that, chewed on it, before nodding. "I... see. Thank You Mistress. I think I understand."

Mistress Alexa smiled. "Anytime sweetie. Now then, have you thought on what I asked you to? About your freedom?"

Kat opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. Of course she'd thought about it. It'd been the only thing running through her head for most of these past few days. But she still didn't know what to do. What her Mistress wanted her to do. What she wanted to do. Kat sighed and hung her head.

"Yes Mistress. And..."

And what? Some part of her niggled at her mind, shouting of the joys of freedom. The release from her bonds, the freedom. The freedom. The freedom. But what exactly did that mean? Burdening Aria again? Theft, again? Hunger, no warm bed? And most importantly, losing her Mistress? What kind of freedom was that?

But then, what kind of freedom was it to serve? To give joy to someone? To protect them, make them happy, be rewarded by them and punished and to grow and learn from them and...

She shook her head. Freedom. That was what she wanted right? Freedom? She'd take it, then.

"And I want freedom, Mistress," she said, a pang of... something, stinging her heart. Was it grief? Sorrow? Remorse? She wasn't sure. It felt like a disgusting combination of all three. As if she'd just swallowed some hard-to-take pill without water. She'd be free, though! She needed to hold onto that, to look forward to that. Right? That was something to look forward to, right? So then...

Why did she want to cry?

Alexa, Final

Some hours ago, she'd picked them up. Hell, yesterday by this point. They were in a neat little packet, as thick as her pinkie finger, with tons of signature blocks and fine print. Here they were. The court documents that would free Kat from her bondage. She studied the papers, flipping through them, burning oil late into the night in her study, with the fire crackling and the stars and moon outside watching in, silent observers. She signed here and there, reading this and that, it was all exhausting, and by the time the morning had come, she'd not even noticed. And in the end, all it really amounted to was, "I hereby say this slave is free."

As the morning sun rose, she looked out her window to the garden below. An early morning breeze rustled the growing trees and bushes, and it brought her some solace to know that some piece of Kat would remain with her, even if it was just her garden. She didn't want to lose Kat. She didn't want to lose Sarah either. But look at how it panned out both times, she thought.

Though, she had to admit, this was a much happier end to a story than Sarah's. If Kat never became a repeat of Sarah, Alexa had done well and could sleep at night. Just knowing Kat was out there, surviving, hopefully thriving, would be enough. Alexa planned to give her a large sum of money for college and a home, so hopefully Kat would use it wisely and get on her feet again after all this awfulness was over. And maybe they could even stay in touch, she thought wistfully.

Kat would be free. Free like she'd never been before, and she'd be able to one day look back on the past five years and maybe even have a laugh. Hopefully. Hopefully there were fond memories made here, with her. Hopefully she recovered from Antwon's abuse. Hopefully she reconnected with her family. Hopefully. There was a lot of hope going into every signature she blotted onto the papers. A lot of hope, and a lot of fear. And sadness. So much sadness.

All the ink that was spilled just signing her name felt like blood straight from her heart. Her hand felt heavy, signing these documents, her mind, numb. She wanted to cry, but couldn't. It was such a happy occasion. But it wasn't. Her heart felt like it was sucked into a vortex, being thrown between this emotion and that, and it hurt. It physically hurt. She winced and clutched it.

The tears would come later, she knew. Later, when Kat was gone. Later, when she was all alone again. That's when the real tears came. When she was alone, truly alone, the tears wouldn't stop, she knew. There was a coming darkness that she feared. At least, she thought, she'd always have Cobb. But losing Sarah, and now Kat... she vowed to never own a slave again.

She shuddered, and started to sign the documents faster. She felt weary, exhausted, but confident in her decision. Still, her eyes were heavy, and she found herself wanting to take a nap. When Cobb brought her coffee, she'd nearly jumped out of her own skin. He looked down at her, then at the documents as he poured her a cup of steaming, fresh black coffee.

"Cobb, you nearly killed me," she said, clutching her chest.

He smiled at her. "Wouldn't be the first time, Madam. May I ask, do you really plan on going through with this? There is still time to stop, you know."

She frowned. "Yes, I do. But... I won't stop. Not for me. This is for Kat, Cobb. Only for Kat."

"Madam," he said, standing straight up. "I can see it in your face. The hurt and the fear. I believe you may regret this once you do it. And what kind of butler would I be - nay, what kind of friend - if I were not to warn you about this?"

"A shitty one," Alexa said, offering a grin. He grinned back.

"Fair, fair. So you plan to continue ahead, then." It was more a statement than a question. She knew that Cobb already had the answer. He just wanted her to say it.

"Yes," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Yeah, I do."

"If you insist."

She scowled. "This isn't for me, Cobb. This is for her."

A silence passed between them, Cobb staring down at her, she with her head in her hands. Then, Cobb said, "You've changed. How interesting."

"Changed?" she asked, looking up at him with tired, burning eyes.

He nodded. "Quite noble of you, actually. Sarah would be proud."

She shot him a questioning look, but he simply shrugged it off and asked, "So, then, will you be getting another slave after this?"

"You just want help around the house," Alexa said, rolling her eyes.

Cobb chuckled. "True. But I'm more concerned for you. Sometimes, silence can be deafening."

Alexa paused and thought for a moment. "No. No, I won't. I think perhaps owning slaves isn't quite for me. Not anymore."

Cobb raised an eyebrow. "I don't quite believe that. But I do commend you on finally focusing on yourself, Madam. It has been much needed."

She wanted to ask him what he meant, but she didn't have the energy or the will, so she simply laid her head down on her desk and huffed. "Thanks."

"My pleasure. More coffee?"

"Yes. Yes please."

He poured her another cup, and stood back up, smiling down at her. "For what it's worth, Madam, I am proud of you too."

Alexa looked up at him. "I tried Cobb. I'm trying."

"I know you are. Do you recall the day we met? You were a child and I was a teen," he said, sitting in her chair. It was unlike him, to help himself like that, but he looked tired too. They all seemed tired. The bruise on his face was starting to heal, though, which was good. He sat back and folded his arms.

"I told you something that day, do you remember what?"

Alexa gave him a weary look, and sighed. "You said something along the lines of, 'I'll take care of you.'"

"I said," he said, grinning, "That I was at your service, and that I would always take care of you. Our families had it planned from the beginning. I was to be your butler, and so they introduced me to you, and right away, I loved you. Truth be told, Madam, you were like a daughter to me. You are like a daughter to me. I care about you.

"And that girl? You care about her. I know you intend to do as I intend to do. You wish to take care of her. Because you care about her. And Madam, I support your decision to do this. But I want you to know something that I've learned over the years of trying to get you out of situations that you get yourself into."

He smiled innocently.

"If you really love someone, you'll let them choose. I love you means I care about you more than I care about myself. True, passionate, unbridled love, I mean. So let Kat choose. If she's chosen freedom, let her go. But don't neglect yourself and your needs either. You are not alone in this world. You don't need to act like you are."

Alexa felt a tear in her eye, trickling out and sneaking its way down her cheek. "Thank you Cobb. For everything."

He stood and bowed. Then, going to stand beside her, he set his hand on her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. "Of course, Alexa."

The Courthouse stood before them like a monolith. Tall, frightening, familiar, its marble pillars stretched all the way up to the roof, its two storey windows letting light flood the insides, it was a huge, old building. The trip there was quiet. Kat said nothing, seemingly lost in thought. Alexa was also lost in her own mind, like someone in a labyrinth, running from something, trying to find a way out. Alexa would glance over at Kat every so often wanting to speak, but the words sat at the tip of her tongue. A 'congratulations' or a 'this is your big day' sat like a lump in her throat, thick and heavy, unable to come out.

Now, standing before the massive building, neither spoke for a moment. People came and went around them, the parking lot was full, and they might be here a while, but... after today, she was free, Alexa thought. Kat was free. So it was a good thing, right?

She put a hand on Kat's shoulder, making her flinch. "Well, here we are. Big day, right?"

Kat nodded, but said nothing, staring up at the building, still lost in her haze. Alexa tried to smile. "Well, you don't have to say anything. As of today, you're free! Exciting, right?"

Kat's gaze fell but her face was unreadable. A small zephyr rolled through the area, playing with her hair, and Alexa found herself struck by how beautiful Kat was. Short black hair, stunning blue eyes, light freckles across her cheeks, the girl was gorgeous. Alexa looked around, and then cleared her throat and said, "Well then, shall we?"

Clutching the papers in her hands, she took a step up the Courthouse staircase. Kat followed wordlessly. They walked into the Courthouse together, for the last time, Alexa thought. This was it, Kat. Your second lease on life. She stood up straight, stiff, holding back any hint of emotion that made its way to her mind. Quietly, the pair passed through security, and made their way to the clerk's office down the hall.

The door to the clerk's office was red, with gold glass inset into it. It was the final obstacle before she lost Kat forever. Well, maybe it wasn't true. She really wanted to stay in contact with her, to check in on her and see how she was fairing. So maybe they could talk, get together sometime. But for some reason, this felt like it was it.

She reached out and held open the door for Kat, who quietly stepped in. The clerk's office had a small waiting room off to the side and a row of three glass-faced counters, behind which three ladies sat chatting. One of them turned to watch them enter, and said, "Come on down."

Alexa stepped over to her window, and Kat came and stood behind her. "Hi," she said, offering a smile that she hoped looked real. "I'm here to free a slave."

As if it was nothing, the clerk nodded and held out her hand. "May I see your papers?"

Alexa handed over the thick stack of papers and the clerk flipped through them, one by agonizing one. Alexa thought she might cry now, but knew she wouldn't. The tears were there, the fear was there, but neither would show now. Not until Kat was gone. The clerk nodded to herself, and handed back the papers.

"Right. All I need to do is watch you both sign, and I'll stamp it, and you're both free to go."

Alexa nodded and tried a small smile on her face, but it just didn't fit anymore. Letting it fall, she sighed and signed the paper, her soul bleeding like the ink. She finished her signature, and then slid the paper over to Kat, and handed her the pen.

"Go ahead sweetie. You're just a bit of ink away from being free," Alexa said softly. "Not too bad, right?"

But Kat simply stood there, the pen in her hand, staring at the paper. She stared at it for some time, and Alexa was unsure if she was even looking at the paper, or if she was just so lost in her mind that she wasn't really aware of it at all. But before Alexa could reach over and rest a hand on her shoulder, Kat turned to her, and looked up at her with tears in her eyes. They were gentle things, falling like diamonds down her cheeks, quietly, softly.

"I... I don't want to," Kat whispered.

Alexa blinked, and opened her mouth as if to say something, but didn't for a moment.

"Kat, sweetie, sign the paper."

Kat stared down at it, another tear trickling down her face. The clerk looked at them for a moment, and then quietly walked away from the desk, giving them some privacy. Kat stared for a moment, more tears falling on the paper, staining it. But she still didn't sign.

"I can't," she said.

"Kat, sign it," Alexa commanded, placing her hand on Kat's shoulder. "Kat, you want to be free, right? I'll set you up with college, a home."

Kat shook her head.

"Kat, my final order for you is to sign this paper."

Kat shook her head again, sniffling. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and said, "I don't want to."

"Why not?" Alexa asked, tilting Kat's chin up to look into her eyes. "Don't you want to be free?"

It seemed to catch Kat off guard. She blinked and sniffled, before breaking eye contact and looking away. "I want to stay with you, Mistress."

"You don't have to call me that-"

"I want to," Kat said, staring defiantly up at her. "You... you treat me well. You love me. You feed me, and you care about me. And I want to care about you," Kat said. "I want to love you too."

Alexa's eyes widened, and she knew the tears were coming now. She stood straight and turned to the clerk, who gave her an inquisitive look. "Will you excuse us for just one moment?" Alexa asked, ushering Kat out the door with her.

She and Kat stepped out into the foyer of the Courthouse, and Alexa took Kat by the shoulder gently and stepped aside. "Kat, are you sure?" she asked.

Kat nodded, holding the papers in her hands. "I don't wanna leave you."

"You won't be. We can still talk, and meet up, and-"

Kat shook her head vigorously and stared up at Alexa. "I don't wanna leave you."

Alexa took a breath in, and let it out slowly, shakily. "Are you sure, Kat?"

Kat nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry Mistress. I... yes. I'm sure."

Alexa felt a wave of relief wash over her as she let out another deep, shaking breath. She felt weak in her knees, and a little lightheaded. Smiling broadly, she looked at Kat and said, "Well, if you're sure. But the offer is there for you."

She leaned in and pressed her lips to Kat's, and just for a moment, everything was alright. They held each other in the Courthouse for a brief second, kissing, just long enough to feel that passionate spark ignite. When she pulled away, she saw through blurry eyes that Kat's cheeks were a bright scarlet. She laughed.