All Comments on 'Kathleen's Big '4' '0' Saga'

The story lacked any real emotion and read more like a corporate report. It was also kind of pointless and a couple of states over from anything close to erotic.

However, the biggest failing was the absolutely awful dialogue. I hate to break it to you but people don't talk like you seem to think they do.

It read as another person has mentioned like a Fortune 500 1/4 ly report.Can't fault grammar or spelling, but as lifeless as a corpse.

not where i.m from we call them idiots.

And it's absolutely nothing like this, I'm afraid. Your jargon is - well, no one calls any one a "code pusher", for a start. You do need to talk to someone who does this stuff if you are going to use it as a basis for a story. No one just "has ideas" and then pushes it off to other people. Ideas are ten a penny, what matters is execution, much like in writing a story. You can't just work from home and send out "ideas" to remote coders and hope to get back a tight playable game. It just doesn't work like that.

Still, story is not so bad, even if the husband is made to look like an idiot.

Terrible writing. 3*.

Open the pod bay doors Hal...

Could it be an alternate world, a different species, or an alternate point of view?

Anyway, I find your work interesting and worth our time.

Creepy, but I have met women like this one. Their worlds revolves around them as they slowly disintegrate. The results, messed up kids, no real friends, and no family that wants to be around them. The actually have a slimy feel about them.

Are everywhere, unfortunately. This is believable, if not fun to read. Depressing really. Like listening to people in group therapy.

OK story. Kathleen was selfish and all about herself. I thought it was funny when she saw Ralph at the hotel with two other women and she almost had a panic attack. She pimped out the Gossip Queen so there was no need for her to get upset.

I guess she thought she came first with Ralph.

I was glad that R.D. finally left her.

She is a worthless skank, nobody but a fag would stay with her, this belongs in gay male.

You and your character need to grow a set!!

'NUFF SAID!!!!!

This was a badly written story. Couldn't even make it through the first page. It has nothing to do with ploy, but with the way the "characters" spoke and the use of [ ] to indicate either thought or speech.

Kathleen came to terms with her part in a bad marriage and poor motherhood. She wanted to change but it really was too late, though they tried to make it.

How brave to write a story whose subject matter turns of many readers. I appreciate the effort. A very sad story. At least it ended with R,D. happy. Thank you.

Since when does a couple talk like they're reading a dictionary? No thanks.

He started out on the right track then wimped out. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. She as much admitted she was back because her lover was done with her and threw her out. He must have developed a new app for trash collecting.

Asia Carrera, a former porn actress told is a no-no anything over 8inches and Kat takes in her mouth and ass?And most actresses who like big ones, prefer eight inches.She is in the wrong job...

Kathleen barely. Had any emotion. RD seemed dispassionate and emotionless. Story was not erotic. Plot very simplistic and there was a paucity of dialogue. For example, instead of telling the end result by a few narrative sentences, some details and conversations would have been far more interesting. Suggest the author keep trying and perhaps let an editor help.

and could have been a great story if the ending was not such a downer. Also, you did not end the story because you never mentioned what happened to the children. You have imagination and a good style. I just don't like downers although the ironic of the ending was interesting.

Anonymous 1.

Not yuck because of the author, though he's much better of late, but yuck to anyone who would stay with a woman like Kathleen, whether they had children or not. I could no more stick my dick back into my wife, if she had been unfaithful, than I could a meat grinder. I find the idea absolutely repugnant.

Instead, I would not divorce her. I would keep her around, in a loveless marriage, one that I never touched her nor allowed her to touch me. Her sentence would be to live without anything but her extra-cocks and no love.

Second 'story' I have read by you, both have been horribly written and bored me to tears, learn how to TELL a story without it reading like a news reel or text book!

They all want there CAKE AND EAT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lets compute your average feedback: no feedback divided by no stories = negative infinity? Yet you have the gall to tell someone else to quit writing? I write non-fiction for a living so I do not write here for enjoyment, yet I would never tell a writer to stop writing. Why don't you write as many stories as c1992w has, and post them out for us to read. Demonstrate your obvious mastery of the art that you have never exhibited!

Better yet, make a few USEFUL comments about the STORY to help the author improve.

up your ass i'll fell better

prostitution almost always destroys any family relationship they have

English is not your forte! (wish I knew how to make those accent marks) The people talk and think (according to you) like robots. As someone else said people just don't talk like that!

"a session in our huge water jet bath tub" would maybe read "let's crawl into the Jacuzzi and have some fun" nobody would call it a huge water jet bath tub (really spelled bathtub) and what woman would inform her husband she has 6 slinky nighties he's never seen (and obviously her lover HAS). That would kill any chance of sex or intimacy.

You don't say in your profile where you live. You could get by visiting an english country but writing a story is a whole other ball of wax and you are really missing the mark!

I'm glad R.D. has another chance with another woman. Maybe this marriage will work for him. The current wife had serious mental issues that she did not address. It was odd that they could discuss her infidelity, but not deal with its roots. Guess they just ended up not being right for each other. Hope she enjoys being just one more classic business slut. As she ages the pain and loneliness will get worse. I suspect she will degenerate into drugs or alcohol. Their kids hopefully will be OK, as will her ex and his Asian wife. She will end up very say and lonely. Or maybe not. Maybe she too will find another relationship, and use her hard earned lessons to be a better wife the second time around.

crazy slut and extremely wimpy cuck.

2*

I'm sorry but I have enjoyed some others of your stories, but this one doesn't hold any logic at all. First of all: He had know for 12 years that he was being cheated and did nothing? I don't buy it even as a fiction writing. Then he takes her offer with no conditions? Another piece of BS. In third place, she goes to cheat again after all the promises she made and he simply accepts it? Every story even a fictional one must have inner coherence in the psychology of the characters. You didn't presented a weak cuckold, so it doesnt fit. Sorry a very very story for me.

Not a red H in the bunch. It's because you can't write. Also, you're an asshole. The big one star.

Your stories sound like they are written by a foreigner who is still using English. Your words are weird a you phrases are kind of awkward. Your characters don't seem to mimic real life at all. No emotional content. Most people simply don't act that way. Oh they do the same things but their reasons are vastly more emotional and complex. You seem not to be able to bring that out in your characters.

What amazes me is the number of negatives given by those who don't write. It may not be a best seller, but I admirer anyone who takes the time and effort to put out a story.

On a constructive note, I did get lost in your wording a few times. Consider a better command of your phrasing and enlist the help of other writers on this site.

Really didn't need the epilogue. All that effort, for ultimately nothing.

Abrupt ending kinda ruined it. Felt like someone else wrote a shitty summary for a decent story.

Just get a divorce. UGH!

Dialog so stilted that I don't understand it. Probably a good thing.

He not paying attention to the spouse or children.

Who cares what happens to either one?

!!!!

Story sucked still gave it a5 star☆☆☆☆☆

The premise was just ridiculous ⭐️⭐️

That made no sense at all.

Kathleen was simply a whore, white trailer park trash!! JD was too good for her.....too much of a weak wimp to stay married that long to a cheat!!

The epilogue was absolute bullshit....why fucking bother with the story if that's the end

One of the worst stories on Literotica. Hard to follow and boring.

She is pathetic.

What a load of nothing

Can anyone say "confusing as fuck". Shit junior, take another class on writing structure. I think you missed the idea or hell anything in this story. Sad, it had a few moments.

I for one enjoyed it.