Kathleen's Secret Life

“It was during this period that I bought our current home in Alpine. In order to raise the down payment, I told Bill that one of my firm’s financial clients made us a personal loan. Actually, it was a “loan” from one of my off-shore accounts. This was a great way for me to bring some of the money I was making back into the country tax free and get a write off for the “interest” to boot. Bill was proud of my work in finding and financing our home while he was on the road. We both loved it and still do. Between the house purchase, my private accounts which I handled in the mornings (the club didn’t open until afternoon) and afternoon’s at the Salerno’s office in the Club I was busy, very busy. Although financially, I was ahead of my plan and loved our new home, I was miserable about not being able to conceive. Now there was only one thing left for me to concentrate on. Getting pregnant.

“Then one day, I was talking to Cindy, one of the dancers who works the club’s afternoon shift. Cindy had worked a bachelor party at the club night before. I couldn’t believe the stories she was telling me about what went on in our private room. You see, even though I hired the “talent’, Vince Salerno handled the bachelor party bookings.”

SS: “But you must have known that these parties were going on?”

K: “Of course. In fact, it was my idea to begin using the private room for these parties. As you probably know, bachelor and bachelorette parties are very popular. Almost everyone has one, especially the younger people. We began getting inquiries about parties almost as soon as we re-opened the club. I realized that there was money to be made in this area - actually a part of the wedding industry, which, as you know, is a multi-billion dollar business in this country. I thought that this would be a good way to augment the business of the club with a more predictable and lucrative cash flow stream than bar and door revenues. I convinced the Salerno’s to outfit a part of the basement of the club for these parties and it was a big success from the moment we started offering this service. When it first started, Vince handled the bookings, not really a hard job. I thought that these parties were similar to what went on before we had the room. You know a group of guys would show up, start drinking and carousing, ogle the dancers and generally behave like little boys.”

SS: “What did you learn from Cindy?”

K:“Cindy told me that Vince had set up three levels of “entertainment” for these parties. The first was what I expected. One or two dancers perform on the platform in the room to sexy music, the DJ (who doubles as the bouncer) announces them and gets the crowd worked up. They usually bring the groom to be onto the stage and embarrass him, you know, they sit on his lap, rub their tits in his face, nothing too outrageous.”

“The second level was a live show. Apparently, Vince had convinced several of the girls to bring in their boy friends (in one case a husband!) and put on a live show when that was requested. This was an additional $2,000 charge. The third and raunchiest level was where the girls let the men “touch”. According to Cindy, no sex is promised for this $3,000 charge. It’s all left rather vague with talk about “tipping” and “taking care of the girls”. Apparently the Salerno’s lawyers warned them that anything more explicit than that would be considered prostitution. This way, it’s just a private party where the girls get “friendly” and are awarded with tips depending on how “friendly” they get. The girls get only about $200 for two hours work at these parties, $400 for the “special” parties. They work it into their dance schedule upstairs so it’s gravy for them. And according to Cindy, it’s not uncommon to leave with over $1,500 in tips for a two hour show! That’s not bad for a girl that would otherwise be earning $8.00 an hour waitressing.”

SS: “So Cindy had been part of the “special” entertainment the night before?”

K: “That’s right! I could hardly speak as I listened to what she told me. The party had been a big one, about 25 men, all young corporate types. After dancing for a few minutes, Cindy stripped naked and invited the groom onto the stage. The two of them, they . . . you know, they did it right there in front of everyone. Cindy said that before she knew it, there were hands on every part of her body while a line formed behind the groom. The other dancer was apparently prepping each guy as he waited his turn. It sounded unbelievable. I asked her how it felt to be raped and she laughed. She said it was some of the hottest sex she ever experienced and split $3,000 in tips with the other dancer for her experience!”

SS: “What did you think when you heard that this type of thing was going on at your club?”

K: “I was in a state of shock. I never knew this kind of thing went on, let alone at the EXstacy! I admit I was a little turned on by Cindy’s lewd description, but I thought the whole thing was disgusting and dangerous, both for Cindy and for us.”

“For the next week of so, I couldn’t get Cindy’s story out of my head. I should explain that Cindy and I had become pretty friendly and would talk once or twice a week. She is married and has a three year old son. I never imagined she would be the type of girl that would do something like that, and worse, enjoy it! But as the weeks went by I realized that Cindy was the same person I always knew, happy, carefree and supporting her family as best she could. I guess I was waiting for something terrible to happen. Then it began to dawn on me that no one really cared what Cindy did or what went on in the private room of the club, and no one ever would. It was then I began to formulate my plan.”

END OF TAPE 1

Session 2; Tape 2

SS: “It’s not working. I see the tape turning but the light isn’t on. No, there it is. OK, that looks good. This is Tape 2 of our Second Session with Kathleen, our first in depth therapy session. Before we took a break to change the tape, Kathleen was describing her reaction to learning what really went on at the bachelor parties held at the club. What did you mean when you talked about your “plan”.”

K: “It was about this time that my failure to get pregnant was really getting me down. I had already ruled out invasive and expensive medical procedures and adoption. I kept thinking about how stupid Cindy was and how she could have gotten pregnant from any one of the men she was with at that party! I actually felt a little jealous that she could get pregnant any time she wanted to but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. She didn’t have to worry about her husband’s low sperm count or whether he was traveling at the right time of the month or if he was not in the mood. Just sign up for a party and there you have it! Twenty-five young, fertile and horny men just chomping at the bit to impregnate you! You want blond hair and blue eyes, no problem. A future doctor or dentist, just pick the right father! It started as kind of a joke I made to myself to get through my depression about my constant disappointment when my period came each month.”

SS: “Kathleen, you don’t really mean to tell me that you seriously considered becoming a prostitute in order to get pregnant? That would be crazy!”

K: “At first I thought so too. As I said, it was kind of a private joke, a daydream. But after a while, I began to analyze the situation, and my “business” brain clicked in. I made a list of all of the reasons why this was a bad idea. I had no idea who would be at these parties. The men could be diseased or idiots. One of them could be an undercover cop. Then I began to think about the booking process and how I could control it. I approached Tony and Vince about two weeks after my conversation with Cindy. I told them I was concerned about what was going on at the “parties.” I asked them if they had any release forms drafted by our attorney, whether they screened who the guests were and if they had any way of knowing if any of them were undercover cops. Of course, the answer to all these questions was no. I told them they were crazy to risk their investment in the club on these parties and that someone had to monitor the bookings to make sure that everything was legal. At the end of the meeting, I was put in charge of the party bookings. As promised, I visited our attorneys and had them draw up a detailed contract that protected the club. They briefed me on how to handle the discussions about “entertainment” and how to avoid any accusations that we were soliciting or engaging in prostitution.”

“After I took over, I would meet with the person booking the party, usually the best man, and have him sign the contract which would include a certification that no guest was a member of or working with any law enforcement agency. I had the best man give me a list of the names and addresses (and occupations) of each guest. I explained that this served two purposes, to make sure that no one was a cop and to insure that if anyone made trouble, we would know were to reach them.”

“Our more educated customers were actually pleased with this new throughness. No one wants their party to turn into an emparrassing experience, particularly for wealthier men with a reputation to protect. What I didn’t tell our guests was that this list was my way of getting an insight into the type of gentlemen that would be attending the party. Were they bankers or a motorcylcle club? Now at least I had some idea. What I couldn’t learn from the paperwork, I was able to find out from a friendly discussion with the best man, who was often more than happy to tell a pretty lady almost anything she asked! After handling the bookings for several months, I realized that most of my fears about who would be at these parties could be quantified and dealt with rationally.”

SS: “But Kathleen, surely you must have been worried about your personal saftey. After all, a pretty young woman, inflaming all those men, who knows what might happen?”

K: “At first, yes. In fact I asked Cindy about this. She actually laughed! She told me that the men who frequented our club, and especially the ones at these parties, were like docile lambs. She told me that they would do ANYTHING she told them to. Sit down, stand up, touch, don’t touch. They were like little boys obeying their mother. She reminded me that there were always one or two bouncers at the party and there are others upstairs in the club. No man, she explained, wants to have his fun cut short in front of his friends by a 100 pound woman, let alone a 250 pound bouncer who could tear him limb from limb! At first I thought she was exagerating. After all, there was a lot of drinking at these parties (I know, I review the books each week) and these men are really riled up. But after a couple of weeks I confirmed her observation personally. Believe me Dr. Sharp, you are safer in Club Xstacy that you are alone in your own home with your husband!”

SS: “So, its seems as if you planned on becoming one of the party girls? It’s hard for me to believe Kathleen.”

K: “I wouldn’t say that at this time I made up my mind to become a “party girl” or to get pregnant at a bacheor party at the Club. I still had a lot of reservations. I had never cheated on Bill, in fact, I had only had sex with one other man before I married Bill, and that was rather unspectaculor. Let’s just say that I was open to the possibility and was keeping my options open.”

SS: “How did you ever think you could do such a thing?”

K: “Actually, I didn’t think I could. I mean, no matter how carefully I planned and researched this, it would be a big leap into the unknown and a terrifying experience. But I had a plan for that too. I decided to try dancing on stage at the club first to see whether I had what it took to be the confident, sexy woman that needed to take charge at a party like that. It was a small step, but an important one.”

SS: “You mean to tell me that you decided to became a stripper to “test” yourself?”

K: “I did Dr. Sharp, and I am rather proud of myself for it. It was an amazing experience!”

END OF TAPE 2

Session 2, Tape 3

SS: “I didn’t think we would go through so many tapes today. What time is it? 4:30. Ok, we have another half hour and then we will call it quits for the day. How are you doing.

K: “Fine. Actually, it is very freeing being able to share this with someone.” SS: “Good. Let’s continue. Where were we? I believe you were telling us about your decision to become a “stripper” at the Club. Do they still call it that?”

K: “Our employees are called “exotic dancers”. And yes, we were at the point where I decided to try dancing at the Club. I realized that if I couldn’t go up on stage, take off my clothes and wiggle for a bunch of men, I would never be able to go through with my plan to get pregnant. What if I got so scared I started to shake, or ran out the room crying. I would be mortified!

“One afternoon I was talking to Cindy and I we started discussing the dancers, how much money they could make, and how it felt being up on stage. I told Cindy that I really admired her for her courage, you know being able to get up on stage and dance in front of all those men. I told her that I had studied dance in college and had put on some amature performances in ballet, but I doubted that I had what it took to dance the way she did. As we talked I asked her whether she thought I would be able to do it. She looked me up and down and without blinking said “Darlin, if your body dosen’t knock a man dead, he’s dead already. Hell, someone as good looking as you don’t even need to know how to dance. Believe me honey, those men are not in here to see the ballet! If you want to dance, hell girl, then dance!” She smiled at me and leaned over speaking confidentially. “Listen Kath, I know your life must be boring, you know, with your head always in those accounting books and all. Why don’t you try it. Live a little. No one will ever know.”

“But what about my husband? Suppose someone I know sees me dancing?” Cindy laughed. “Your husband works in the city don’t he? And he’s travelling most of the time anyway. What the hell would he be doing at a strip joint in Union, New Jersey during working hours? Same thing is true for your friends in that tight ass Alpine of yours. Those folks wouldn’t be caught dead in this club. Besides, you won’t be dancing for only two or three ten minute sets every hour, for maybe two hours at most. What’s the chance the someone you know will waltz in here at that very moment? Zero. None. Girl, you got a better chance at winning the Lotto than something like that happening! Hell, I live in the next town over and I don’t ever remember meeting anyone I know in here. What, does your garden club come here for their afternoon meetings?”

“I realized that Cindy was right. My fears were real, but the probability of anyone recognizing me was next to nothing. I asked Cindy if she would give me some lessons. She was so pleased and enthusiastic, she promissed that we would both get on stage before the club opened on Thursday to practice a “routine” as she called it. I was so excited, I could barely sleep that night.”

SS: “So you decided to try it, a dry run so to speak?”

K: “Yes. I was determined to at least try it once when the club was closed. Before 1PM the Club is pretty empty, only a few girls, some bouncers, and of course Tony and Vince are around then.”

SS: “You were willing to let them see you do this – Kathleen, I can’t believe it?”

K: “You may not believe this, but they never found out. The next day was Thursday. I met Cindy in the girls’ dressing room where we tried on some outfits, actually lingerie and string bikinis. I told Cindy that I would be mortified if Tony or Vince saw me. She told me that they had seen plenty of girls dance and that I wouldn’t be the first. I don’t think Cindy understood my relationship with the Salerno’s. I did not want either Tony or Vince to know about my decision to dance at the club. Cindy assured me that, when she got done with my makeup, even my mother wouldn’t recognize me! Cindy gave me a short blond wig that hid my jet black hair. She also applied several temporary tatoos to my shoulders and above my left breast. I then chose a lime greem string bikini that really showed off my curves. When I looked in the mirror I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. It was the strangest feeling. Now was the test. I was so excited I started to shake. I could hardly walk on the 4 inch clear plastic high heel pumps Cindy lent me!”

“Cindy led me by the hand out to the bar area, a place I seldom frequented. Vince was leaning over the bar talking to one of the bartenders. Cindy turned on the juke box and almost pushed me onto the stage, then she leaned against the bar next to Vince and watched me dance. Vince asked her who the “new girl” was! Cindy told him my name was Lisa and that I just came in from Ft. Lauderdale. He didn’t even recogize me!”

“I danced for two songs and then left the stage. I felt so excited. It was if I was invisible and could do whatever I wanted. I was really flying! I was convinced that I could pull this off without either Vince or Tony realizing that I was the “new dancer”. I took the name “Lisa Walker” and listed myself on the dance roster for Wednsday afternoons. Since the dancers are not on the payroll, the file I created for Lisa didn’t need any social security number or other verifyable information. Since I did the bookings, it just had to look “official”.

“I told Vince and Tony that I would not be coming in for the next couple of weeks on Wednesdays because of commitments I had to our Parish blood drive. This insured that I could come and go in my “Lisa” costume and not raise any suspicions.”

“On Tuesday night before my debut, I was nervous. Surprisingly, I was also experiencing strong feelings that I couldn’t explain. I now realize that it was a sexual tension that I had never experienced before in my life. For the first time in years, I initiated sex with Bill. As he made love to me I kept seeing myself dressed as “Lisa” and dancing in front of all those men! I was really embarrassed at these thoughts and emotions and couldn’t understand where they were coming from. You see, I had never done anything this risque before. I think that was the hottest night the two of us ever had up to that time.”

SS: “Did you tell Bill that you were going to dance at the Club the next day?”

K: “Oh Dr. Sharp! Bill didn’t even know about Club Exstacy! He thought that the Salernos had an Italian restaurant business! I would never tell him about that!”

SS: “So all this time you never told him about your involvement in this Club?”

K: “No. I did it partially to protect him and partially because it gave me more freedom, you know, to do what I wanted without having to listen to him preach. You see, Bill is very conservative. He would never go along with the offshore account idea I came up with, or the “tax free” cash I was making. By not telling him, he was just an innocent bystander. We could both enjoy the fruits of my “creative accounting” without him feeling guilty and possibly ruining everything.”

SS: “But didn’t the two of you discuss your work? After all, you are both accountants.”

K: “We decided early on not to discuss our clients with each other. We both agreed to leave work at the office. This way, there is no possibility of either Bill or I mentioning any confidential client information that could create problems. So really, the subject of my work for the Salernos was never discussed as much from mutual agreement as from my desire not to reveal what I had gotten into. I would hope that you don’t discuss the details of your client’s problems with your husband!”

SS: “You’re right. I don’t. Kathleen, before you go on and discuss your experiences as a dancer, I would like to divert for a while and discuss your relationship with Bill. In particular your sexual relationship. During this period when you were planning to dance at the club, how would you describe your relationship with your husband?”