All Comments on 'Katie the Whore Ch. 01'

just horrible

Stupid - hard to call it a story

This is my first writing and I am only 18 years and few days old. So, I will try my best to improve. And this is just beginning of the life of Katie, so what she was before becoming a whore for the gang is out of context and useless details, that it is. This is an introduction to her life. Anyway, before criticizing some work, try to do something on your own will you ? :D :D

It's not too bad. I'm a writer on here and it is not easy to satisfy everyone on here Just do your best that is all you can do.

Perhaps Katie should not have so much humiliation and maybe try bondage and other thing next time.

As this is your first writing, not too bad. There were some grammatical errors, but many writers have that problem.

The major thing is, seeing as to how she's a virgin, and this is her first time being humiliated on such a grand scale, it's hard to believe that her first offering of a reward would be anal on her own free will. Or that she will later propose the idea of someone pissing in her mouth. Things of that nature would have to be built up.

But beyond that, I'm a big fan of public humiliation, so I definitely did enjoy the foundation of which this story was built on.

dont let harsh judges discourage u from writing , it really isnt bad for a first time story.

The speeches are shakespearian, "Since, you were happy for that 1 grand only, it is quite obvious that you can't pay us 25 grand back. OK, can you?" is supposed to be Gangsta talk, get real, make it sound like real folks.

11 girls, would you bother to count them, around a dozen girls would be a more realistic estimate, its ok for a first attempt but the concept need spreading over at least eight pages not ywo

Have you considered writing in your first language? Literotica has a section for non-English stories.

Yeah, I know that. But I want to improve myself in English. The next part will be a short one, already posted. Waiting for it to get approved. Actually, writing it from a third person view is kinda confusing from time to time.... The story will get interesting... At least, I will try

Next Part is coming soon. Sorry, but the next part is a short one. I was busy writing a sissy story. Don't worry the 3rd part will be longer

Okay