All Comments on 'Katy the Virgin'

by Karenas

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  • 14 Comments
EdwardMidwestonEdwardMidwestonover 11 years ago

Great start, Karenas. I'm looking forward to more Katy stories.

Harry LegHarry Legover 11 years ago
Wonderful Story

This is an excellent piece of work. I can't wait to read more of your stories.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Ringer?

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
How is this protective?

He doesn't like the idea of guys coming on to her, even punches one slimeball out, then he deliberately exposes her tits and ass to a bunch of strangers (to her, anyway)? Mike's treating Katy like a piece of meat, whilst proclaiming how he's looking after her (no matter that she's too infatuated to hate him for him). Her father's attitude is even more bizarre: he might as well have tied his darling li'l daughter to her bed and invited Mike - a guy he admits has dated the same women he has - to fuck the living daylights out of her. Was every one on this army base exposed to some kind of weird brain-numbing chemical attack?

KarenasKarenasover 11 years agoAuthor

Anon. 1: I don't knopw what you mean by saying "ringer."

Anon 2: I'm sorry you don't like my fantasy.

ErotonautErotonautover 11 years ago
Solid debut

Well-written: both the story arc and general narrative (description, dialogue) were handled with confidence.<br>

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My reservations overlap to an extent with an earlier reviewer: I couldn't get a grip on just why Mike would treat Katy with so little respect at the party. It's one thing to spank this teen virgin in the privacy of her own bedroom, quite another to flash her bare buttocks and boobs at his mates, then make her walk to his car in that state (why not just remove her dress and expose her naked pussy to the neighbourhood for full humiliation?) Likewise, her dad's acquiescence puzzled me: is it military code to offer a comrade your teenage daughter's maidenhood?<br>

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I look forward to a follow-up chapter, one in which you hopefully resolve these issues.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Good but confused

Like the comments of the other two, I was confused on the full humiliation of having her parade almost naked to the car. This is right after his protective nature of her being pawed by the drunk. I am also confused as to why a naked picture would make her seem more adult. The father handing her away seems totally out of character. I do think that it was well written in the movement of the story and the plot. I did however feel the intercourse scene to be abrupt. However I think its better then most single stories I have read.

ErotonautErotonautover 11 years ago
We seem to be building a concensus here

Readers like the writing style, the use of decriptive passages and the pacing. Unfortunately, having established three fairly strong protagonists (itself an achievement), you have them appear - to us, at least - to be acting wildly out of character. If word of Katy's semi-nudity at the party reaches her father, as it easily could (it's likely many of Mike's friends are also in the military), there's going to be one hell of a bust-up. Why risk it? In a sense, this story's strengths expose its apparent weaknesses. Unless you have an ingenious solution to the mystery in Chapter Two.

MaryAnn678MaryAnn678over 11 years ago
Erotic story or fantasy?

You started out with a provocative, well-told, erotic story. Then wandered off into some sort of domination fantasy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Amazing

So sexy; I loved every part of it. I can't wait for the next part!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I agree..

The other comments basically said what I'm feeling but i wanted to add a little more. It just seems like the last scene was so detached from the rest of the story. It's weird that the father is so neutral about everything. I thought he was supposed to be some hardass, I guess not. I would understand if this is what the guy was like with other partners and then met katy and shes changed everything for him, made it meaningfull. But for him to have done what he did at the party doesn't line up to what you portrayed him as in the beginning, protective and fucking scared of her dad. Doesn't look like hes scared of shit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
50 shades of WTF

Seemed interesting, until it got ridiculous and repetitive. The involvement of the father? just creepy. Stopped reading after about the first half of page 1. Disappointed in this, as it seems you have talent at writing - but not at originality.

thebuffalothebuffaloover 11 years ago

Outstanding! You know how to write erotica for adults.

CoyoteMadeMeDoItCoyoteMadeMeDoItalmost 11 years ago
yes

While i agree with maryanne. I liked it anyway.

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