All Comments on 'Kayla & Aaron (K&A) Ch. 01'

This story made no sense. The punctuation didn't help - question marks after statements for example. Sort out who is who, what is happening and why, then you might have the start of a story. And of course get it proof read; there are spelling errors all over the place.

Your story wasn't bad. I actually enjoyed it a lot, but just it could have been written so much better. I think it was too short, I mean you could have made it longer and added more of a build up. Good job anyways, nice story. c:

It lacked continuity (it jumped around so badly I had to constantly scroll back up to puzzle out what you were trying to say), it lacked proper punctuation (commas, periods, etc), you failed to capitalize people's names (which is distracting, if nothing else), and the list goes on (and on).

All in all, it looks like the product of someone who does pretty much all of their writing in the form of text messages. Stick with that medium. Skip storytelling.

A bit of proof reading, and editing are in order, but this storyline shows promise. Keep plugging!

Everyone starts somewhere.

My question is are you and you brother in High School or College.

I don't think anyone on Literotica edits their stories any more. The quality has definitely deteriorated over the past few years. Trying to read a story is painful. Spelling, grammar, capitalization, you name it. Anything that can be done wrong, is done wrong. Sometimes they can't even keep the names of the characters straight. It's like dealing with a bunch of illiterates. I'm going elsewhere.

stupid made no sense both at school yet "why are parent at our house "

hated it so your story is great to every human being on earth

this is a sex site with fuck stories you want edit go to News Week. God you;'re a dumb fucking asshole

Your comment was about as atrociously written as the actual story. You and the author should get together and make little, illiterate babies!

I thought it was good. For a first story you did well. This is not an english class, I never noticed anything wrong I just read the story. I look forward to seeing where your story goes from here. Please ignore all the critics who want everything perfect and just write your story, I'm sure you'll next effort will be better and the next will be even better. For your first effort job well done, keep your head up and write your story. Thank you

Keep writing. Waiting for next chapter. Thanks

Can't wait to read more.