All Comments on 'Keeping a Kitsune Ch. 03'

I'm enjoying this story. Thank you.

Really liking the way this story is unfolding. Liking the passionate, messy emotion, and the fact that they are very different 'people'. Also liking that Chiyo is (however inadvertently) making Jason question himself - just by acting honestly. He is really having to face upto his past, his selfishness and his quite awful behaviour, and he is realising that he can't just breeze through and instantly fix everything. The scenes with the photographs were particularly powerful - the fact that he took trophy pictures of his abuses and his cruelty, and didn't regret his actions, until now. Great stuff.

Great chapter, keep them cumming!

In all honesty, i love the way the characters are a developing.

I am loving this story. Keep it up

Always glad to get responses. Happy readers are fuel for writing. :)

the main characters personality has gotten better as the story goes on,he realized what a shithead he was being and s actively working to improve himself,this story is hot enough for stroke material and interesting enough to read when theres no need for a stroke,good work

I get that internal conflict is a catalyst for character development but Jasons character is so hard to read. He needs a swift kick in the stomach so his balls pop back into his scrotum. A boy complains, a man acts I wish Jason would be less vocal and more physical in his reform.

I'm enjoying this story well so far, and I think you've done a good job of portraying both main characters in a way that feels natural and human. The non-human aspects of Chiyo come across very well, and you do a good job of showing it without just blatantly spelling it out. I look forward to reading more.

That said, I sincerely hope that while the character development and growth of both Jason and Chiyo continues, that at the end of the story they do not get together. It would feel shallow and hollow after how the story started, and I feel you could reach a more interesting and unique conclusion that would not be so bitter.

Because as much as Jason acts regretful and apologetic now, the fact of that matter is that he is a rapist. The only reason he is now upset, is because his views widened enough that he now feels the weight of morality that society and his upbringing puts upon him, on his shoulders. When he lacked that weight, that moralistic barrier on his actions, he happily raped Chiyo and felt no personal guilt over it, even though evidence of her true nature was visible. He lacks any personal morals that would keep him from doing that, and if they do grow it is too late. He's no different to rapists who ignore the law to hurt others, he just had a convenient excuse to use at the time.

Having him 'get the girl' would just feel like a sour ending, tainted by his actions. A lot of things may be forgiven, but that's one you can't really forgive for.

I hope you continue this story line, I have really enjoyed it.

Great story, I hope you plan to keep it going!

I am working on Chapter 4, for those who were worried. It's going slowly, and the holidays didn't help, but I am still working on it. No plans to give up on this story. :)

I actually just came down to the comments to make sure it wasn't abandoned. I would have been so upset if it was 😂 Great story you got going man!!! I'm loving it 👌👌👌

I just commented down there v And I have to say that I really disagree with the guy saying that Jason and Chiyo being together in the end would be a bad ending. That's stupid. Like, this story can't be compared to how things would be if she was human, at least not like that. So please don't take his advice? I'm not going to try and tell you how to write the story and all, because as a writer myself I get how irritating and stressful that can be. But please don't take some big phylosophical shit like that? Write the story how you feel, not how anyone else feels it should go. It's your story, not theirs. That being said, I um, um, ummmmm.... Theyshouldtotallybetogetherintheendinmyopinionbutthatdoesn'tmatterbye

Alrigth...i just binge read the entire thing start to finish(not rly finish, I hope for more =P) and it is real late and i need to get up in a few hours so im gonna keep this short:

Amazing story. I usually prefer stories without the "Oh my god what I am doing to her is wrong." stuff, atleast for non consent stories, but this one really grabbed me.

Good Job :D

I hope you write more slave stories with monster girls.

I guess Chiyo is kinda' broken now, now that she knows sex and rape & consent are a thing, I'll miss the relationship they had in the 1st chapter & the prequel.

Hope Jason & Chiyo can outsmart Kylie & retrieve the pearl before she gets a chance to take away Chiyo for her personal use(she's still the real mistress)

Hopefully she gets a taste of what it feels being Jason's slave & comes to love it like Chiyo does.

Can chiyo turn kylie into a kitsune? Or some other kind of sexual demihuman.

Corrupting & mutating Kylie would be hot.

Anon - thanks for the comments on all of the chapters! I think this particular story will probably not quite go the way you're hoping, though if you're looking for more explicit sex slave stuff, please check out Shadow Doctor.

Everyone else, just wanted to break my silence with an update on the delay. Basically, I've been having a really tough time over the last few weeks dealing with depression and haven't gotten more than a couple of pages of progress. I'm hoping to get back on track at some point in the near future, but no guarantees at the moment. Thanks for your patience.

Do you personally keep an update schedule or do you post as ypu get the chance?

@Gajeel1019 -

I don't have anything official. The original goal was to publish one chapter of Kitsune and one chapter of Shadow Doctor each month, but as I said in the above comment, I haven't been able to get much writing done lately. I'll update my bio when I submit the next chapter, which will give you ~3 days heads up if you're following me.

Fingers crossed that I can get back to work writing again soon. :)

This is a first for me on literotica. I'm *actually* reading this because I like the characters and stuff. Sure, I'm also quite a fan of the smut, but I kept reading after the smut. That's the unique bit. No really this is actually really good. I'm really into the characters, and I'm actually looking forward to chapter 4!

Please finish I read all chapters in one sitting

I am really enjoying the character twists i like how he goes from predator to human.

I thought I made this comment an hour ago, but it looks like it didn't post?

Anyway, I submitted the next chapter. Assuming everything goes normal with the Lit process, it should go live midweek.

I also have a Patreon account now (link in my bio) if you'd like to check it out. Chapter 4 is live there for Patrons.

that one of the core ideas of this story is totally unthinkable, unfortunately (or fortunately, really).

Although, in a way, I like the story, especially the parts, where both main characters come to regard their differences, and I totally like your writing style in general, the core idea of Kitsunes having a lower legal status than pets kills a lot of my reading fun.

The way you portrait the Kitsune, there can be no doubt that she's a sentient being. Sentient non-human beings like Kitsunes, real AIs, or sentient Robots/Androids can't be slaves or just property under any 'normal' democratic political development in any 'normal' country of the world. That is simply not possible, because it would undermine human dignity, human rights, and freedom in general, too. One can't just neglect the existence of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights or their regional instruments, i.e. national constitutions and other laws. So, as every fantasy must have at least a certain degree of inherent plausibility, you need to come up with a very, very strong explanation for your Kitsune Rights issues. Having your characters getting agitated about those issues doesn't fix the implausibility - on the contrary, it makes the implausibility stand out even more. I'm sorry, but you seem to have written yourself rather deeply into this trap already.

Hey Anon -

Depending on how the story goes, there may be a scene where someone argues the case for denying human rights to Kitsune. Since that scene may end up on the cutting floor, and since I don't want to make you wait months, here's a few quick thoughts on your objection that the world is unrealistic. *ed. - apparently it's more like an essay than just a few quick thoughts. It kind of got away from me while I was writing.*

First, I want to make a short disclaimer - I'm not trying to pretend that I'm writing anything that's going to be studied in future classes. This is a kinky sex story about sex with a girl with tails, that also involves scenes all over the consent/nonconsent/rape spectrum. I know I'm not Shakespeare.

That said, I have done a fair bit of world building that doesn't show up because I don't want Jason to go into exposition land. There are multiple non-human races in Jason and Chiyo's version of Earth, and several of them are legitimately scary. Vampires existed, and they were pure evil monsters that humans hunted to extinction for self-preservation. Werewolves have rights in several countries in Europe, but only after a long fight to prove they could control themselves (most of them live in semi-monastic communities and spend a lot of time meditating to help control their bestial side). Faeries have mostly withdrawn into an alternate dimension, but kidnapping human children and leaving changelings behind was one of their tamer pranks when they were regularly interacting with humanity. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were destroyed, not by atomic bombs, but by a demi-god level entity called the Thunderbird. The Thunderbird also destroyed several regiments of US Cavalry in the 1800s, resulting in the treaty that established The Seven Nations as an independent country in the area we know as southern Arizona/New Mexico (https://www.patreon.com/posts/keeping-kitsune-10675696). So there's a legitimate reason human governments (and their citizens) are worried about the threat of non-humans.

If you don't want to get into authorial intent, go ahead and stop reading here, because I'm going to go ahead and make the subtext into text for a bit here. Fair warning!

I have a pessimistic view of human nature. I think it's very easy for us to ignore and rationalize horrible treatment of people we don't know who seem different from us. Less than 200 years ago, half of the US went to bloody war to protect their right to own other humans. In 1899, a crowd of people coming home from church in Georgia tortured a black man to death and took pieces of his body home as souvenirs (do not read this article if you have a weak stomach: http://danielsilliman.blogspot.com/2014/07/sam-hoses-christian-america.html). In 1966, there were laws on the books in many states prohibiting interracial marriage. On June 25th, 2015, it was illegal in many states for a same sex couple to get married. A few weeks ago, a neo-nazi drove a car into a crowd, killing one person and injuring many more. Two days ago, the President pardoned one of the most corrupt, racist, and abusive law enforcement officers in the country. We are not as enlightened of a population as we like to think we are.

And even when we fight against injustice, we often don't apply it equally. You can be a woman in the military but strongly oppose GLBT members of the military. You can be black and homophobic. You can be a lesbian but transphobic. I know a lot of these stances from friends and family, and from my own past. When I was 16, I thought gay people were disgusting. When I was in my late 20s, I thought racist jokes were hilarious. We define ourselves by drawing a line between "us" and "them", and coming up with reasons why "us" is better. Often, that means painting "them" as worse, and justifying bad treatment of them. Oftentimes, we only change those viewpoints when someone in the "them" group becomes part of our social circle, and even then it can take a long time for the change to fully happen.

So, Keeping a Kitsune is mainly a kinky sex story, but if it does have a bigger message, that message is that it's really easy for us to be shitty to people that we think of as different, and that sometimes we are shocked into a realization of what we've done, and we try to adapt and grow and make amends for our past. And then we have more kinky sex. :)

it's entirely your story and yours alone. I don't normally go into an argument with an author about the inner logic of their story. In fact, I was inspired by your own thorough considerations of ethics in your '4 Types of Mind Control' essay.

Thank you for answering with another short essay. While I easily agree with most of what you say there, that's exactly why we have all of those international declarations and national constitutions concerning Human Rights, and all of those laws and democratic procedures in general. We wouldn't need most of those if we were all purely good souls. Concerning optimism/pessimism about human nature I will say that I don't lean this or that way. At least we haven't killed all of humanity so far, though we certainly don't lack the capacity in atomic weaponry to do so.

Back to 'Keeping a Kitsune'. There are some things that still don't end up well from my point of view.

OK, so you have done extensive world building for your alternate earth. There are several races of really dangerous, perhaps outright murderous creatures, you reveal now. How would the reader know that? I remember wondering about a short reference to werewolves once, and of course you mentioned the alternate nature of your world right away, albeit in very general terms.

But shouldn't Jason know the world he's living in better? Why then does he suddenly have this moral epiphany about the way he had captured and raped Chiyo? His going over the top with feelings of guilt in ch. 3 was what led me into making a comment on Kitsune Rights in the first place.

Then again - in a world, where sentient, but really deadly RACES exist, and where societies have to deal with this fact throughout their educational and legal systems, would he really change his attitude that fast and in such a radical fashion, when he meets an INDIVIDUAL that doesn't comfortably fit in with altogether legitimate (in the context of this alternate world) racial fears? Or is this an ethical question you want to consider in future chapters: Are RACIAL fears in this alternate world of yours truly LEGITIMATE? That could be interesting.

(Mind you, it's only, say, philosophical consequences I'm interested in. Ethics just so happens to be one of the favorite subjects in my old days. It's also a really pressing subject with regard to Artificial Intelligence and Autonomous Weapons Systems.)

Well, you'll say again that your story is just a kinky erotic story. Thank you for 'kinky erotic', btw, you are really good at that! But 'kinky erotic' alone, as good as it may be, doesn't make a really good story - a fact, you are very well aware of. I wouldn't even consider to comment on a story I don't find really good. And perhaps you shouldn't belittle your story (and Jason's extensive, even self-accusatory reasoning ), I think.

Now I will go on reading and see what you'll have for us.

Hey Anon, thanks for the reply.

I am working on improving as a writer, so your feedback is really helpful. Thank you for taking the time to let me know how it strikes you. A couple of last thoughts:

1) The timing of how and when to do exposition on an alternate world is one of the trickier things to get right with a sci-fi/fantasy story. It's one of the reasons so many sf/f stories have a protagonist who's largely ignorant of the world, whether that be because they're an ignorant farm boy, or because they got transported to the world from Earth via a magic wardrobe equivalent. I personally like the slower approach to exposition, where part of the fun as a reader is picking up hints on how the world is different. I freely admit that I may have gone a little too far in that direction with this story, especially with the long wait time between chapters from my slow writing pace. Something to work on in the future.

2) Jason's moral epiphany and progression is absolutely the trickiest part of writing this, and I've mentioned before that I'm pretty sure I'm messing it up at points. As a narrator, he's not a particularly deep thinker. He's kind of a good-hearted bro; he thinks of himself as a good person, like most of us do, but he's horny, irresponsible, hedonistic, and a little bit spoiled. At one point in the story he mentions that he's never forced himself on anyone before Chiyo, but he's probably had a few drunken sexual experiences in college that could be considered in the grey area in terms of consent. I had a scene in mind where Amy (the vet, his college ex) called him out on that, but the way the story is trending, Amy probably won't show up again, so that's unlikely to show up. Anyway, Jason's image of himself is that he is absolutely not the type of person who would ever rape anyone. When Kylie accuses him, he's forced into a corner. He can either double down on the fact that Chiyo isn't a person and defend his self-image, or he can have a crisis of conscience. Luckily for him, he had a crisis of conscience. Now he's locked into a guilt-fueled crusade, and making his decisions based on that. At no point in the narrative (at least through ch 5) has he really sat down and done a measured consideration of non-human rights as a political issue.

3) I'm also writing this episodically over the course of months, since I'm a really slow writer. Looking back, there are things in the first few chapters that I absolutely wish I'd written differently. The biggest one is Chiyo's leg breaking - every sex scene has involved her with a broken leg and it strains my own suspension of disbelief at this point. If I was re-writing it from the start, I'd just go with a sprained ankle or something like that. Improving the way Jason's morals are portrayed/evolve would be another thing I'd love to work on if I decided to re-write this whole things once I finish it.

Anyway, thanks again for the feedback! It helps a lot. :)

Really liked the story until Jason became a bipolar idiot. His whining is seriously annoying and turning me off your otherwise great story. The 'mopey' Jason just doesn't fit his initial personality at all and the change was just too extreme to be believable. That's too bad!