by sinfulinthemind
For a first entry that was amazingly well done and hot as hell. I have a good feeling that you will do amazing things with your writing.
Very well done for a first story. The anticipation of the next chapter is running high with me, can wait to read about the conversation they have and the outcome. My opinion to where it goes is most likely dad jealous because he wants her for himself. That's where I think you are heading. Excellent job
The story is off to a good start, but it seems as though "doing Daddy" is the best (only) way to get him on board! I'll enjoy seeing where you wind up going with this story, In the interim, thank you for the entertainment!
Really enjoyed your story, like your writing style, and looking forward to more of your work.
I have been informed via e-mail to start a series without explicitly identifying the first part as "Chapter 1" is a violation of etiquette results in an automatic "1" score from him or her. As s/he did not include their email address in the message, I will simply reply here to him/her and the rest of you all at once.
I apologize for the violation. I was unaware of the informal rule and will make sure to include "Chapter ____" in all future stories.
Whoever sent you that email must have a broomstick up their rear! I'm giving 5 stars for your effort and looking forward to more chapters and stories!
There's no rule, written or otherwise, that states you have to number your first story as 'Chapter 1', because you may decide down the line to not revisit that storyline, and then you'll be inundated forever by demands to finish it; demands from pedantic dicks just like the ass-picking little basement-dweller who made up that rule because it suits his preferences.
There is nothing here, written or otherwise, that says you have to do as he says, and if he can't work out that chapter 2 follows on from chapter one, as long as chapter two has the same title prefix, then he has bigger problems than demanding you follow non-existent rules of his own making.
Go ahead and do what you want, as long as your readers know which chapters are next in order, nothing more need be said. And ignore the 1* that monkey-twat gave you; next sweep it will probably be treated as malicious and dumped, so you shouldn't give the fuzzy crack of a rat's ass what he scored you, it will likely be deleted in due course.
Please continue. This was hot. If I could give more than 5 stars, I would.
I was jamming along listening to music while I read. "Outside" by Staind started playing while Kelly started bartering. I laughed a good couple of minutes while the song played. I have to say I don't really like this sort of BDSM, well BD anyway, but I got stirred up some. Kelly is still a bitch in training and totally dishonorable; unless she will be teaching her sister a lesson! I have no real idea about BDSM, not my thing. I did like the story and I see maybe a bit of humor down the line. Keep at it.
RS
Wow! Kelly's a real asshole! Let's have the next chapter.
Your grammar's fine.
In conversations with one of my brothers-in-law, he reluctantly admitted he oftentimes had sexual thoughts about him and me. I told him not to worry, that I myself had indulged in quite a few about us, as well. When we are around each other it is as if we share a secret that no one else knows. I see a lot of me in Kelly.