All Comments on 'Kevin Brown'

Awesome! Now where's the followup ?

Long read but worth it.

its not a bad story, but after 8 pages it gets somewhat tiresome to have the same basic thing happen every 4 pages...

he gets together with a female, in a relationship. he has some apprehension about her being loyal to him. She assures him she'll be faithful. He makes a mistake of some sort, 9/10 times because he did what the woman said to do. Then she gets mad and leaves him. He does something involving magic that makes him invisible, yada yada yada... or someone will come along and do something to him. and shell leave him.

and then he has to go build a new harem somewhere...

the charecters need to catch on.

One of the best I have read. Thank you.

that the ending??

I was really into the first 7 or 8 pages, then the story, for me, went downhill. I wasn't expecting witchcraft, sorcery and whatever. disappointed.

Getting confused about things that suddenly happen with no understandable explanation. I get thatvSandy did the con job to get him to fix their computer stuff. I don't understand her talking chummy with Todd while the 2 girls were there, making her late to him for lunch. Then after dobbing sandy in for her sucking todd in the office, they then left our guy to continue working with sandy. Why? You did not explain, after all they were meant to e so loving to him, but dump him easily. Were they always in cahoots with sandy, and the jobs were their payoff. Looking back would have to question whose baby, if any, was in sandy, considering you said todd had always been around.

Now he is going off with someone else to a new job, but he never actually decided to take it. Remember we are meant to be in his head, being first person pov. Or is that just sometimes? He apparently even didnt agree to the eye surgery, without actually thinking or saying anything.

How did a blind person know that mia was petite in build when all he had was her voice?

It could be a great story if you had broken into smaller chapters and wrote everything needed for the reader to follow you.

But it can't end there. We need to see if it all works out for Kevin & Lisann & not end the same as his other girlfriends!!!!!!!!!!!!

i enjoyed reading this. the ending was a bit strange though.