All Comments on 'Kidnapped Ch. 04'

Damien is my all time favorite male name and your Damien is so hot! I'm really enjoying your story! Keep up the bomb ass work!!

Yep. I like your Damien. I like your Christine. I am enjoying your story thoroughly now and am anxious to see what develops.

;)

I love this story, I only have one complaint... Not Long Enough. Even if it's just an extra page would be Great.

...you have potential. On top of the fact that you know how to use quotation marks correctly in dialogue, (there aren't enough of you on this site, seriously), you have a lovely vocabulary and know how to set a scene.

This story could be really, really great if you focused a little more on the main character. Sometimes it's very easy to focus almost entirely on the development of the mysterious love interest, and the main character turns into a uncomplicated being to whom things simply happen. Christine is in danger of becoming one of those characters. She needs more complexities, and we need a wider window into her brain. Otherwise, she is no different than the Mary-Sue characters in fanfictions; an insubstantial projection of the author forcing herself into a world she wants to be in, devoid of any personality that the readers could relate to.

Seriously, what happens next? I am thinking she get out and finds out there is another locked door, or having sex with her made him be able to trace her better when she goes back to her family or something, but I am Seriously going slightly crazy wanting to know what happens next.