Kissing Cousins Ch. 03

Make no attempt to bar my entry, Elizabeth. If you do, you will certainly regret your decision to do so.

Sarah

Panicked, I threw the letter into the fire and dashed for the door, shutting it violently enough to bring Diana to my aid.

"Is everything alright, m'Lady?" She had a look of concern on her face, but I doubt it was anything to match my own. "Surely you are unwell. Shall I send for a physician?"

"Thank you, no, I am quite well, Diana. Please run below stairs and fetch a glass and some brandy." I never kept the spirit in my room as it reminded me too keenly of Sarah and her fondness for sipping it while I lapped at her sex. Tuesday next, surely the letter was delayed, for it was already Monday. My mind raced as I tried to imagine anything I could do to prevent her. The only thing I could think of would be to leave, myself. Surely this would only be delaying the inevitable. Where would I go, in any event?

Diana returned with the bottle, and was kind enough to pour me a generous amount. She asked if there was anything else, but I simply shook my head, allowing her to take her leave. I took larger sips than I should have, the semi sweet liquid burning my nose and throat as I drank. No, there was nothing to be done. Sarah would arrive tomorrow, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. What ever unknown leverage she had over me, was enough to leave me defenseless against her.

I suddenly felt too warm, and removed my jacket and then afterward my frock. As I began to undress, I experienced an uncontrollable urge to finish the job. In short order I stood at the foot of my bed, naked. All the emotions and fears that had been so engrained by my cousin came rushing to the fore and I felt immediately powerless against them. I stood in the mirror and the image that presented itself was one of beauty and grace. She would never put up with this. Would I be forced to degrade myself all over again? Unconsciously, I ran my hand over my boyish locks and shuddered. She wouldn't.

I made a pact with myself to resist her at all costs. I had come too far since that day, when I escaped, to allow her so much sway over me. I simply could not allow her to gain the upper hand. It was all well and good to make such pacts, but it was then that I noticed my hand furiously at work between my legs. The sight fascinated me, as I observed the act. It was almost as though I was watching someone else, for surely this desperate creature in the mirror could never be me. But, it most certainly was.