All Comments on 'Know Thyself Ch. 02'

Raises all sorts of questions. Here's hoping it gets figured out before its too late, whatever that means.

Was enjoying the story till middle-aged predator creep showed up. I mean, seriously?! And why was she so willing to please this fuck? Tell him to shove his texts and his lame lines up his ass.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you let me know. I was worried about this chapter because I wasn't sure how that aspect would play out. I'd love to chat with you about your feelings on it as I have some questions. It's an aspect of the character (mainly her aversion to men like that and the experience) that will play out in subsequent chapters but I wasn't sure if we needed more of a basis for the character before this aspect was introduced. Maybe it was too early for this. I'd love to pick your brain about it if you're willing.

I recommend an easy fix for ashleys character. You should have her slowly rember herself and forget ben. I also believe that she shouldnt be a huge slut or screw the old guy. Just some opinions, goodluck!

Thank you for the feedback. I revisited this chapter and discovered a few things about the story. I'll be posting a revised version of this chapter in the next day or two. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the revision and hope you continue with the story. Thanks for your help!

Any chance we'll be getting a third installment any time soon??

The third chapter should be posting soon. I submitted it on Sunday and it looks like it should go up tomorrow.

Looking back, there was quite a bit of spontaneous character development in the original one that would have taken this story down a darker path. Admittedly, we don't know if similar things are still part of the character, but it is nicer to not have it rushed there.

I have a general reasoning for stories on this site: If its a short one, it needs some of the second half of this site's name. But if you've got plenty of the first, the second can take its time showing up or being the focus.

The original submission rated a 5*; It had everything, a dark deep tale with subtle undercurrents that made one wait eagerly for the next installment just to see the next twist.

This vapid piece of pure lowbrow vanilla might satisfy the mouth breathers that usually hang around here now, but rates an One star on my part..

Thank you JPZ for the feedback! I like your rule of thumb for stories on this site. Very well said.

I appreciate the constructive criticism Anonymous. I wouldn't necessarily rule out the original story line of chapter two showing up at a much later time, but I did feel it was too soon. I understand what you're saying about something seeming too "vanilla", but I also feel if you rush into conflicts too soon, it doesn't leave you much room to go afterwards. It's not that I don't want to write a story like that, I just want to go deeper into that story.

What more can I say! Carry on!