by crxbxtl
Lots of mistakes in grammar - no real character development - dull plot - no explanation for the violence - just generally a poor job. However, it had some good features, so I gave it two stars. I think with some editing it could be much better.
It was too much. Talking about cleaninh her asshole and all. Didnt seem necessary. Definitely edit your next one though
This was all over the place and sounded like some really bad BET version of literotica. Everyone had huge dicks and the female rapist was fucking the guy who owed them 12gs?! Huh? Then ate creampie from some slut? What?
IDK... try to keep it more realistic and work the details a little more before you get into cock sucking, creampie eating and various other stuff that doesn't make sense. lol