All Comments on 'Kyle and Will'

I like this story. It has grammatical errors that should be fixed, but it's (in my opinion) a good story. I'd like to see it continue. I want to know why Kyle ran away and what happens later.

more plz

I would definitely like to read more of your stories. I really liked this one and want to know where Will & Kyle will end up.

Please write some more! This story definitely needs a next instalment!

I would like to know what happens next :)

Great start. Well pit together. I can't wait to read more

Good start. Can't wait for more.

Well written and completely engrossing. Cannot wait to read more!

A great beginning to what looks like a great story. Can't wait to read more, I'm already counting the days till chapter 2 comes. Please update soon! :)

Very hot. Wife is away for a few days allowing me to enjoy some of this hot literotica. Loved this one. Dream come true for me.

Excellent throw it out there story. Very interested in reading the follow up.

Especially for a first go at it! I'm eager to read more so please continue this story!

Will may be in love with Kyle, but Kyle is struggling. It will be interesting to read further how you will develop this story. I'm glad Kyle has bits iof hair swirling 'round his nipples. Can WIll have a bit of chest hair too?

Hope it works out for them ... looking forward to their further adventures.

That was wonderful. What now?

Leaving us with an end like that?! Ugh. Lol. But it was wonderful. More please (;

Really great, but you need to tell us how things go from here. I can see this relationship really taking off, once Kyle comes to terms with it.

That was realy good! Hit the right enotional tone. Nothing too over the top. Characters need some more developing but considering this was a short chapter, there was ample introduction and stylistically speaking, I think it's a good thing to let information come to light over the course of a story instead of dumping it all on a reader to absorb in the first chapter, which can be a bit heavy. The pacing of the story (how fast or slow things pass in relation to the story and to real time) was spot on—not too fast, not too slow. Readers want to be taken on an emotional journey, whether that journey is through thrills and fear or love and sex. It's up to the author to set the mood, to present characters, environments and events in such a way that the reader will think a certain way about them, painting a picture with words. There are always many sides to every story, casting characters and events in contrasting views. As a writer, those choices are entirely up to you—great power, but also great responsibility. Writers with natural ability seem to make instinctive choices that are right without knowing why they are right. The greatest authors in the world are those who took their natural ability and combined it with learning and experience. They exposed themselves to the full range of possibilities available to an author, allowing them to make even more intuitive choices for greater effect. If this is your first piece, then I would say you have that natural ability to make instinctive choices that are the right ones. I would encourage you to a) finish this story, b) work on and present the rest of your stories and c) start to learn about the art and the craft of writing, because it can only make you better and one day, if you want it badly enough, you will be one of those greats. Natural talent only takes you so far. You have to have the passion/obsession that drives you to excel, to pick yourself up from failures and use them as learning to leap to the next success. To me, the art of writing is as thrilling and interesting as actually writing, but I freely admit I'm a huge nerd in that department. Being a writer is like being the conductor of an orchestra, so many instruments and tools at one's disposal. The more I learn, the closer I get to being Beethoven, rather than the conductor of a school orchestra. To carry this analogy even further, plot and character development are your heavyweights in the pit—the piano and violin. Pacing is your percussion section. Dialogue is your opera singer. Etc. Then there are the fundamentals like spelling and grammar—your sheet music—which seems like the most insignificant part but are actually the notes the rest of your orchestra is playing to. The creative aspects of writing need the technical aspects too. New writers, experienced writers, all writers should make it a point to keep up with spelling and vocabulary and grammar. I still struggle with it and I try to learn all the time :P but it makes reading your work effortless for a reader, for while we might not know our grammar inside and out, we're all conditioned to read it and we notice it when there's an error. Punctuation and grammar tells the reader when to pause in a sentence for dramatic effect, tells who is talking and how. (I am such a nerd, I'll stop now before the rant continues to asshole proportions). In any case, I loved the piece and if you ever want someone to kick ideas around with, I'll happily step up :) good job! Can't wait for more!

great first story! In the beginning there were one or two mistakes that having it edited would fix. The story itself was an old one, but I liked the twist of him leaving for a year away. The last part was really intriguing when Kyle said it would have made a difference if he said it a while ago. What difference? I really want to know and hope you continue it.

Uh oh I have the feeling Will just made Kyle realize he was gay too and in love with his best friend. And now he has to face this discovery alone instead of having te support of his best friend and love. I guess this is what he means about things being different if only...

Hope this doesn't mean Kyle's parents will go ballistic when he tells them. Please hurry up and post the next chapter.

Hi all,

Thank you so much for all your kind comments. This is much more than I expected, and I know the storyline is a bit recycled, but I appreciate all your thoughts about it. The rest is ready, just waiting approval and I will count on you all to continue to let me know what you think.

@akshunlove, thank you doesn't seem enough but thank you..

And now that I have read the other two stories in this series I'm sure that you are going to be one of my favorite writers.

Keep the stories coiming!!

Very well written and added that little feeling of uncomfort in will anf Kyle at the end

You must write more - very good

Really enjoying this, although I'm a bit late. Judging from this I highly encourage you to keep writing; however, you aren't good at placing commas where they need to and it gets pretty sloppy in that area. If you ever did write more it would be my pleasure to help you there. Otherwise, perfect! Great job.

Not bad...not bad at all. While not 'gay' myself, decent writing, a plausible story line, defined characters and descriptive emotions make for a good, erotic submission. If you (the writer) are whom you say you are, then you know guys -- not only 'gays' -- pretty well and our physical reactions, if not also our torments. Trust is huge in sex for it to be satisfying on the emotional plane, too. Women know best how to make love to women and men know best for other men. However, all are interchangeable if only we remember to do for others what we absolutely know we love to have done to us! So, good job. I will go on to explore your other submissions now.

Hey, there’s nothing to worry about. Your first attempt is better than many other “seasoned” writers on here.

Looking forward to the next chapter. My only complaint is the chapter was way too short.

A beautiful start to the story...leaving me wanting more. Just love these two guys!