All Comments on 'Lady in Red Ch. 01'

This reads like fun. Remember though it has all the earmarks of Fantasy. So guys do not worry about Reality tests....

You're back and in fine form..nobody on site matches your humor, wit and cathartic

experience. Marvelous blend of beauty and values..Looking forward to sequel.

It's definitely best to approach this read with an open mind & forget this author's estimable catalog of cheeky, subversive musings on marriage. HDK is playing it straight & narrow. It's fine for what it is, with some moments to be savored. In the main, I'm just happy to see Hardaysknight's name back in the new story section. ****

One of the best stories I have read in a long time...MORE MORE MORE!

Great to see you back writing. This chapter reads easy and smoothly. But try to keep it real and not over the top ... to much. Very much love the bantering between the people. Very light and humorous. You have the making of a great story if you take if thought their lives with all their ups and downs thought life. Looking for the next chapters. :)

...and you already told us to expect a romantic fantasy dripping with teenaged angst. So far, not too bad, but it might be nice if the cardboard edges to some of the characters weren't quite so obvious.

I hope Gwen realizes that she shouldn't quickly judge a person by their looks. Just because Steve is handsome doesn't mean he is a bad person. She doesn't like to be misjudged because of her looks.

Ted can at least be thankful that there is another guy with all the females in his family. All the women pretty much has accepted Steve.

Isn't that how you judge a multi-posted serial?

You do have a great way with dialog. A little over the top sometimes but fun light reading and well written and edited.

old school and love it.your stories are the reason i read this site.old school writers that made consequences and payback part of their stories.real values .

I love your short funny stories, but the few times you write longer ones...they are special. Someone mentioned old school and I guess it is dead on, but it is more than old school, it is good school.

Thanks for writing this.

It's about time this one showed up here! Glad you got things straightened out.

Hey, this is a really fun read! The setting seems almost timeless, although I confess it does have, as another noted, the distinctive feel of some of my 23 Hardy Boy mysteries. Of course I, ahem, don't read them any more. Not often, anyway.

A wonderful beginning to a promising story. Thank you for sharing some pure Americana with the rest of us. And nice to meet you, too.

Why, when I search for "Magi" and "Nick Scipio" do their works you refer to in your intro not appear anywhere?

amazing piece of work.

i did search for those authors but there is no real author of that names you mentioned

Nick Scipio and Magi post on storiesonline.net. They are excellent writers.!

Dialogue was stilted 3*

If you have more than a few hours to spend I can highly recommend this series. Harddaysknight is a great author and he's proven it again with this story. All chapters have scored well over 4.6 with Chapter 32 achieving 4.89. This is a great feel good story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every chapter. Like most readers I can't wait for Book 2.

Every once in a while it is refreshing to see a feel good segment without a cheating wife lurking in the shadows...looking forward to the rest of the story.

I got through about six chapters and seriously, seriously lost interest.

The writing is adequate, significantly better quality than most stories on this website but the characterization is so shallow I can see the beach through both protagonists - this works okay for 2 pages in smaller stories, but after six chapters of them being perfect all the time ("Oh my god STEVE IS SUCH A GORGEOUS-ACCOMPLISHED-CONSIDERATE HUNK OF MEAT" - said at least 23 times by multiple different females in slightly different ways over the next six chapters) it really grated on me. Similar outlandish praise was heaped upon Gwen, directly to her face.

They're obviously written to be ridiculously perfect, and fit every cliche in the book. Why is a sixteen year old gorgeous, talented, high school quarterback by far and away the most mature adult in the entire series? Did I mention his parents are both gone and he lives by himself, with a trust fund and a car?

Also, I would also like to point out that nowhere in the first six chapters was there anything I would consider worse than PG-13. There wasn't even a *hint* of sexual tension between the two protagonists, just romantic bliss (which is very different from sexual tension, by the way) or teenage angst. But it wasn't *real* teenage angst, where they're socially awkward and make mistakes. It was like... really badly portrayed teenage angst, where there's a perfect completely 100% innocent misunderstanding that was neither of their faults, and they have to work through their problems together. Teenage Angst done Winnie the Pooh style. I would point the author to Twilight, where both teenage angst AND sexual tension are portrayed much more effectively.

Just be warned: if you're looking for any sort of depth to your barbie and ken, or even some hint that they have active, working reproductive systems, you'll be waiting a long, long time with the Lady in Red.

I am rereading the stories because I find them enjoyable. Hope the stories keep coming.

This will start my 2 nd reading, and I guess I too am a dreamer and a romantic. I am a 70 years old Marine Combat vet and former State Police officer for over 45 years after returning from Viet-Nam. My testimonial is this: You have brought tears to my eyes over and over as I read this wonderful story of how life should be and how it could have been...idealistically. My life story with my girls and wife could not match this one of course but I tried. I agree with your views on about everything. Thank you HDK, and don't let in end early...please. You are giving an old Vet with a terminal illness reason to go on... Thanks again if you should ever read this! OldMarineVet

Ron R Wood

nick scipio? really? dude, you are not only in a different league, but a completely different sport. get real.

"Gwen finished the call and then turned to her silent, but intent family, and smiled as she shrugged, "Wrong number"."

I really like this series through all of its (literally) incredible twists and turns; but the funniest line comes from the first episode.

Well, in the introduction it mentions "honest politicians"

You know the definition of an honest politician?

That's one that when you buy him he stays bought.

JD the DJ ha ha

For the 3rd read. I love this story

It shows much promise. I usually don't set off on a trek knowing it will be such an extended journey. Pt. 01 with 32 posted, Pt. 02 of 24, and Pt. 03 is just beginning, so I am coming late to this saga.

So far we have a super hero who appears from nowhere. We know almost nothing about him, his family, where he moved from, even his GPA, yet he is the starting quarterback. Lit requires that all major characters be a minimum age of 18 so both are slated to graduate their senior years at the mature age of 19.

And what high school senior carries that much cash?

There are many gaps to fill in, but there are also lots of opportunities for HDK to do that very thing.

""Gwen, you only went to a couple home games last year. Kate went to everyone that she could, and I attended a few with her,"

??

Gets stilted unlike most of your shorter ones...

I'll have to think on why I consider that...

Interesting beginning but not sure I'll read all of this series... Guess I'll see what I see...

I've read this story multiple times and will continue to. Pure enjoyment !!

Hey, this is a porn site! You're not writing on archival-grade vellum with 23 Carat Gold ink!! (1Carot liquid so the gold will flow.)

The Hundred Years War took less time than reading this!

Just starting my third read through this saga. It's a wonderful feel good romance about a couple I wish really existed. To anyone baulking at the length - I really wasn't sure about the writing style and stopped after page 1. The next day I read it again. After about 4 or 5 sections I was hooked. I'm so glad I found this at a late stage when chapters 1 and 2 were complete and I could enjoy it in a single read. Second time through still had me in tears in places. To anyone who gets annoyed at typos, wants hard core porn every paragraph and demands absolute accuracy in every minor background detail - Look elsewhere. This isn't for you. If you want an amazing epic story then read on you won't be disappointed.

Typical smaltzy romance.

BUT please use realistic language for their ages and period. Guess I am late to read this series, but for 18 year olds they make Shakespeare sound modern. Their speech takes away from the whole story.

This is one of the greatest positive stories I have ever read, and I have read many, that shows us true values that are needed in today's society! Never stop, and if you do, thank you, if you move it to a different site, please be sure to let us know. I have never been so pleasantly surprised by a story before, and many times I have found some but never to this degree. Thank you again.

Agreed the prose aspect of the writing detracts from the enjoyment. I may write like this, but I sure as heck don't speak like your characters. I'm dumping what might have been a great story because the writing is too stodgy and unrealistic.

Haha! This is so darn funny! It gets funnier as the series progresses. The dialogs are pretty farcical not to mention how unbelievable the storyline becomes as it goes on. If you can turn off reality in your head while reading, continue. Or else give it a skip :)

This could be a great teenager book. Until a little later then it's way out in the older teen 18+ section. But it's a great reality escape. Think about the heroics or the best you uh want bvb to see in people/movie. This is it .

Yes this is unbelievable later. There's a lot of 'jumping the shark'. However it's still good reading. A good editor would grateful benefit the story. Which HDN does get someone in later chapters.

Have some fun. Escape from reality and enjoy.

As I poked star # 5, i found myself wishing there was a star to the right of that one,

I was led to this story by the comment by Anonymous (11-25-16) on To Walk a Mile, which is the last in a great and lengthy trilogy by BurntRedstone. Anonymous proclaims that trilogy is tied with Lady in Red for "the best series I've ever read."

This story is like TV coverage of the Indianapolis 500 that starts off with the race rather than the qualifyings and pre-show. The race was on with paragraph one, and it was green flag to the last paragraph.

Paul in Oklahoma

What a moron Ted is.Plus the fact he goes to a charity do with only 250dollars.But how come a teenage jobless youth manages to have 700hundred dollars on him?

Laura should have taken Ted to one side and told him he had made a fool of himself and the situation was only saved by Steve's generous response.

New kid in town,but is made starting quarter back with no references.What school football starts before the school opens?.Why would a teenager tie eight hundred dollars to a dance.All the above is totally unlikely.

A newcomer as starting quarterback,get real.Who can respect an arsenal like Ted?.Why would Steve pay to dance with Qwen,she was his date for the evening?Why would Qwen think Steve had the money to pay to dance with Lisa having spent three hundred dollars?Finally no one refuses a four hundred dollars refund.As I said utter rubbish.

Search for the album "Lady in Red" on Amazon Music. Many versions of the song including two by Chris de Burgh at late and early stages of his career.

I think anon 03/03/20 is spot on.

I didn't realize that it started this early !!!!

You were all warned about the story. If you find it so bad, STOP READING IT. You are very embarrassing to normal people.

Thanks to all of you who read and enjoy this series. I do chuckle at a guy who makes numerous unflattering comments on each chapter as anonymous and then comes back later to agree with his comment, this time using a username. He read and commented on every chapter, often several times, claiming he disliked each and every word. His actions tell me he couldn't stop reading. His personal anguish at enjoying something he feels he should hate is fascinating. As you read this series, you will see his anonymous comments using the same words, like Qwen, crap, rubbish, unlikely and utter rubbish. He has read every chapter and I know he enjoys the story. Human nature can be pretty strange. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read, vote and comment. I appreciate it.

I, for one, really enjoyed all three Parts of Lady in Red and really look forward to Part Four. LiR is an easy over-the-top tale that I have read multiple times in the last year alone and it never gets old. I can understand rereading something when you enjoy it, but I can not fathom someone rereading it (over 60 chapters) every couple of months just to leave negative comments— that just does not compute 😼

I see that at least 4 other commenters have mentioned the stilted/unrealistic dialog, and that's the biggest criticism from me also. 16 and 18 year olds don't talk like your characters. Hell, practically no one talks like these characters. It seems to me that you're trying to mix normal conversation + stuck-up college English Major talk + trying to have your characters concisely narrate every thought that is passing through their mind at the time. It really detracts from the literary impact this story could otherwise have. I was almost expecting someone to say, "forsooth".

Still, a fun read, and I don't mind "over the top" stories, as I know this one is meant to be.

I read for entertanment and can not spell or type very well but these are enjoyable over and over.

superb.

For those that doubt a newcomer can be starting quarterback, our local high school has won two state championships ( out of 8) with transfer in QB’s

Very much looking forward to rest of this series. Thank-you

I choose this story based on the romance category as well as the MANY red ‘H’ot ratings . To be honest the sugar sweet ‘perfect’ situation outcomes seem too perfect to me. I like more realistic stories that have more human struggles and realism that I believe make the perfect outcomes even better. However, I plan to read a few more chapters before deciding that it is not for me. On the plus side I see great potential and appreciate your effort.

Some very sweet moments but just a little too good to be true at the moment. Fell sure it will settle down as I assume it opens up in the next chapters. Expecting great things from the writer.

Great start and I enjoyed the too good to be true, that what makes it fun.

A sweet story without overdoing it. You paint Steve and Gwen realistically, and I love you had her wearing a red dress that she borrowed from her sister Lisa.

You show Gwen to have the kind of insecurities we would expect, and her family supports her well. Steve isn't the typical full-of-himself jock, and is atypically well-balanced: having lived in major football towns and having seen most of those "athletes," I'll hang around to see how you develop him further, as I don't know if there's a Steve like this in real life--but he's the kind of guy I'd like to see more of IRL.

Great start. 5

What I really hated about this story was that it's effectively a cuckold story dressed up as a romance. The chick cheats on numerous occasions, is a self centred bitch on innumerable occasions. And to be honest steals Steve's valour on pretty much every occasion he does something courageous or praiseworthy. The icing on the cake was when she ran for President because of course she does so that Steve the all American Hero can be her first lady talk about pissing in a guys cornflakes.

xhristianj,

You are a bit of a dumb fuck. You stupidly stated Steve was a cuck in this novel. Your reading comprehension is dismal at best. Why would you make such an untrue statement? What do you gain from lying? I am curious.

I do thank all the readers who have read this long story and commented so positively.

First time through and I have many questions. Ah, ugly pretty girl syndrome! Maybe she goes to Stanford and cures it. I wonder if Steve has a father or is a US Army genetic experiment. Maybe I've been browsing Lit's sci-fi stories too much.

I like this story (all chapters) overall; good job author. By the title, "Lady in Red", you should realize that the #1 is a woman (Gwen). She is the superstar. The supporting star, Steve, is like a paladin, and frankly, I've never seen an 18- or 19-year-old boy that showed Steve's maturity, wisdom, or restraint. But he isn't always wise. Long distance relationships almost never work. I also suspect that long absences in military and worry about dangerous missions can be factors leading to infidelity with some pairs. But this is a romance. The gritty miserableness of real life doesn't maul these relationships. Often times Steve and Gwen seem to be partners, but sometimes, Steve is a wus when it comes to their relationship and cedes any leadership or even equality on certain aspects of the relationship. Often, the story suggests to me that Steve has put Gwen on a pedestal and worships her, willing to do most anything to please her. I re-wrote offending paragraphs in my personal copy.

Thanks for your hard work Hardaysknight. The end of the storyline seemed like more chapters were coming but did not. I hope you decide to continue the story someday.

From a technical aspect, I think there are several soliloquys that would probably have been broken up in natural dialogue (i.e. people often talk in a few sentences or even a few words before the next person speaks, especially when in groups). Again, this sort of dramatic declarations reinforces the story as a romance. (Those people on this erotica site looking for erotica [sexually explicit descriptions] can find much more in stories other than this one.)

Wonderful stuff, loving it bigtime

Scores 5/5 effortlessly

Harddaysknight my favorite comment here is your response to the "dumb fuck" who insists this is a cuckold story. There are many of us who enjoy a good cuck story, but this is certainty not one of those stories.

While I'm not completely sure what this is, I do know that I have enjoyed it and am looking forward to continue reading as it literally journeys into space! That this series doesn't fit an easily defined genre is part of its appeal. To be aroused, inspired to consider new ideas or examine old ones, or simply entertained by a well crafted story are why I read. This series checks all of those boxes for me. Thank you. I am looking forward to the fourth book.

Great start !

Thank you for sharing it!

I am still hoping for book 4! :-)

All that without any sex, that my friend is fabulous writing. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written series. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

For a story with no sex, this is captivating!

Can anyone answer if either the male lead or female lead cheat on each other? And how often? Is there some reconciliation arc? Or is there some sort of "We were on a break!"

stuff? Want to know these details before I invest time in a long story.