All Comments on 'Lake Tennyson Pt. 01: New Love'

Waiting for next chapter. Thanks

I can't help but wonder if the other sister will want some too.

I live in New Zealand, and I love that this takes place here. I'm looking forward to reading more. Have you actually visited or did you just do a lot of research? Either way I think its a wonderful story. I do have just a small criticism, it seems just a little bit rushed. Take your time and add a bit of detail to the sexual parts.

Try not to do the cliché thing and have the whole family join in, maybe just the sister for a 3sm once or twice, but I think keeping it a romance between Matt and Fern should be the best story line.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit but I do hope it doesn't turn into a giant fuckfest, at least let the couple enjoy the newly found relationship. Maybe do spend some time and thought on how it all came to be, like Fern explaining it to the family, and take your time with the scene setting.

4* for now and looking forward to more real soon!

Sounds like you really experience this, there was too much detail for it not to have happened. Thank you for sharing it with us

This is awfully rushed and needs some polish. The sex was very machine like. Keep writing though, as practice makes perfect.

I understand that parents have also practiced incest (maybe they are siblings?) And do not oppose this relationship. What will happen in the next chapter?

Personally, I do not know New Zealand, but my son has, has been working there, even jumped from the telecommunications tower at Auckland, with a video clip of his jump, and a large collection of photographs of his journey (in his times Free, has always made tourism tours).

5 * for you.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to say, that I give full permission to anyone wanting to edit this story and change some things to their liking. if you wish to publish your version, please run it by me first, and if I approve of it (I most likely will) you may publish it on literotica, as long as I get original story credit and there is a link in your posted version to the original version by me.

Thanks!

A lousy start with all this "technical" body measurements and body descriptions.

The storytelling felt somewhat stilted, and honestly the siblings appears fairly stupid, being grown-ups and not knowing where New Zeeland is and not discovering until they arrive there that it is on the southern hemisphere with opposite seasons. With so little background knowledge between them it is difficult to understand why they have such an enthusiasm for a the forthcoming week long visit to Lake Tennyson as they really don't know what kind of place it is.

And then for the sex: Well, they have been looking at each other bodies for their whole lives, and now they suddenly start to fuck, as if that is the most natural thing to do between siblings ...

There really is to little in this story to explain what's going on in their minds. The characters seem as lifelike as being made of plastic, so I dropped off somewhere halfway down the first page. A quick reading of the last lines of the second page, (when the three others return) while getting to the comments page, confirms my first impression of plastic was true.

Loved the first Episode.

Can't wait for the next chapter

3* for the Bare crotched kids. Add 1* for the furry parents. Total 4*