All Comments on 'Lament Ch. 01'

More of a story of a drunken rape than loving wife. Why is this here?

If people would only talk! Saves for a lot of missery.

she deserves to lose

she lied about it to him everyday

If this turns into a reconcillation story, i will be very disappointed. That "stupid one time mistake" story has been used by cheaters as long as the term unfaithful has been around.

WOW. Perfect grammar, word perfect execution, gripping plotline. I was amazed and delighted to see this from a first time writer. I was poised to give it 5* rating, which I very rarely do. Then, we are cut off at the knees with this tragic non-ending. WHY did you do that? Cruelty.

Realistically, you don't leave a wife without asking for an explanation.

Great first story, I hope the next chapter follows soon.

Well written

Great start! Not sure where you are going with it, but I was hoping you were going to reveal they received the wrong baby at the hospital. That happened in the US a few times, usually discovered when there were medical issues and tests revealed neither were the child's parents. The "mistake" would be less creative, but we'll see where you lead us. 5*

Unless...Olive was switched at birth and isn't Nikki's daughter either.

What if the baby was switched at birth. DId he check the mother DNA against the daughters?

I was thinking this was a "switched at birth" scenario but having the wife forget she was raped just before discovering she was pregnant is a bit too much to believe.

Wow, lots of potential here. Very well written, good emotional context. Hope the second chapter is as strong.

Pretty well written piece, and your main character, Nikki, is well developed. James less so, but we’ll enough to question his silence in your storyline — see that as a flaw in both storyline and in his character. True, would not have a story to this point without his callous behavior but not realistic at all.

no score until you prove you are going to finish this

I read a Reddit thread like this recently where the father wasn’t the baby and there was a blow up, eventually some dr had the thought. To test the mom and apparently child switched in the hospital somehow. Will see how this one plays out. If she would have told him of the event but she hid it. But talked to the friends about it. Trust killer. Waiting to see the follow on. 4⭐️. Good first story I enjoyed it.

@Anonymous, at the time she didn't even HAVE an explanation.

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Even if he didn't come, there's sperm in pre-cum.

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@EZ8lt, yes, she spoke to Brendan and Amy about it, but not him.

Great first story! Keep 'em coming!

Hate to see this stop here, but we are promised a Chapter 2. Gripping story, and well written.

If odiouser thought it was great you know it sucks.

Was pretty sure about it being a 'switched at hospital' story. Still believe it to be, but after that one sentence: 'Amy, Brendan and I had laughed about it days later, after Brendan felt guilty and confessed to her.' Atleast the other guy was as decent as possible in that situation but her laughing about cheating on her husband, even by mistake? Yeah, thats a no go.

A good start to an interesting story. Will be interesting to see if this can be overcome

Good first chapter looking forward to the next one. Reconciliation actually might be a good thing especially for the daughter.

I do like the story but there are two things that I think would have made it better. First, when she confide in her daughter about thinking the dad was cheating she takes a slap from her daughter without question. I think in real life there would be some words spoken but that was all left out. Later, when revealed that the daughter knew about the DNA testing I get it. The daughters reaction was more of a "how can you be pissed at dad when you yourself cheated and had me" move. But it just didn't read well to have a kid slap a mother and no more said.

Second big issue is the drunken mistake. Where was James or Amy? They went back to Brendan and Amy's place and somehow Brendan mounts her and they "disengage"? So she doesn't say anything at all out loud where anyone hears her? She doesn't somehow panic and scream as she shoves him off? He doesn't apologies out loud again for anyone to hear? I can guess Amy was upstairs in bed and not on a couch but how does one who is drunk get so drunk that he thinks a couch is his bed with his wife but not so drunk that he can perform sex? Was her husband beside her on that couch? How big is that damn couch that James, Brendan, and she all fit and no ones feels the sex taking place even for a brief moment? They laughed about it days later?

A third thing to comment on is how you have James say he will not contact Olive again. If he found out when she was an infant, OK. I buy it. Leave before h kid even knows who you are. But he found out when she was late in her teens like 15 years old, right? He was "man enough" to wait until she was 18 to leave. So in my mind he could think of her as an adoptive daughter. He raised her since birth and the kid has always treated him like a dad and he treated her like a daughter. I don't see why or how he would just abandon her now.

I do like the story enough to get by this and wait for the next chapter.

I quote my fellow Anonymus:

"Unless...Olive was switched at birth and isn't Nikki's daughter either."

It was my first guess and I will stick to it till proven otherwise

Nice start for your first story. 👍

I feel like this is basically the same as another story on here where the baby was switched at birth, but now it’s just a confused drunken moment instead. Everyone turns against the wife except a couple work friends. They find out the truth and everyone squabbles to make amends.

Once a cuck, always a cuck. Same as once a filthy, disgusting gutter slut and town bicycle, always a....

It must be lazy writing trick to make the husband a pussy whipped, spineless wimp, because they all run off, shut off phones, make contact impossible. Wouldn't you think it important to go over the evidence, talk things over, then decide things with everyone, including the adult daughter in the same room?

She should have a maternity test done.

This would make for an interesting “baby’s switched at birth” story, where the Mother AND Father are not the biological parents.

I know... a baby is switched at birth, but that baby was actually fathered by the man married to the woman whose kid was switched away at birth. So, now... the right dad is matched up to the baby, but the mothers are all wrong. In a fit of irony that's right up there with the same number of planets in the galaxy, the baby switched away from mum-A was actually fathered by the guy married to mum-B, who received A's baby. Now, we have two couples with the correct fathers but the wrong mums. Sort that out, ANON!

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This story is off to a decent start, too! Now, find Brendan and drag him before the bar of ultimate justice!

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5/5!!

Interesting better still she is not the mother and wound up raising another baby from a hospital switch. So why no other kids from James or is he sterile. Could she get pregnant from pre cum rare but possible. She is a fertile that why I question no other children born. Needs another dna match to her.

Once we find out what the gist of the story is, the few minutes of drunken sex with Brendan...it's kind of interesting. Lots of filler and fluff that adds nothing to the story to get to that point

Whether she finds James or not, this story could already be over, no need for another chapter.

I would say this story goes to an extreme to show how important honesty is in a marriage. Her, Amy & Brendan discussed it and laughed about it a few days later but, she never discussed it with her husband. If she had, he would already know what happened, would have either accepted it or left her years ago. Brendan might have got punched in the face for fucking the wrong woman while he was drunk but, she wouldn't be looking at a broken marriage now.

How do you insist that you never cheated and then suddenly realize that you did once, but it wasn't cheating because he never came... oh wait a minute, maybe he did... but we were young... and we were drunk... and we thought it was our spouse... it was the only time... "Lament" is the wrong name for this story... "She has more excuses than Bill Clinton" would be more appropriate. And you paint the dad as one who will never speak to the daughter again? Not hardly! And daughter isn't going to try to talk to dad? She's just going to take care of mom? Way too disjointed and unrealistic.

terrible ending, leaves us hanging

The problem with these kinds of stories, is that the "innocent" wife needs to be incredibly stupid to not realise there might be a paternity problem when she got pregnant.

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In this one, Nikki "accidentally" got fucked by another guy, then discovered she was knocked up shortly afterwards. How could she not even consider the possibility that her husband wasn't the father?

When you go for an ultrasound, the doctor pretty accurately calculates the conception date. So was she told the date of conception and think: "Oh yeah, that was the weekend some random dude stuck his cock in me. Maybe he's the father? Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine."

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If it turns out Brendan is the father, and this isn't a hospital baby switch, then Nikki absolutely deserves to be dumped by her husband. Hell, she deserves to be dumped for keeping the husband in the dark about the accidental fucking anyway.

I hope this ends with James hooking up with a much younger woman and having multiple kids of his own. Whatever Nikki says about him "being the father" to Olive, it doesn't change the fact that poor James has no biological kids of his own. Any ending that doesn't allow James to continue his line is basically a cuck story and an automatic 1*.

Sorry you did no better using this name than you did the last one skippy.

She had sex with a guy, while both are naked, and she doesn't think it was a big enough deal to tell her husband? That is not a plausible story that years later a husband would believe ... or anyone else.

unfinished and disappointing. You get no credit for a 'story' that isn't a story, get it finished for your sake as much a the readers. No stars just question marks...

Good start - husband seems like a pathetic dick though (was this intended) - ostracising his daughter and sneaking away like a coward …..without the courage to at least have a face to face confrontation -

Only person in this whole story to like so far is Mattias. They derided him, cast aspersions at home, but the man is dead on in his realizations

Big plot hole: why would he stick around if the plan was to never see the daughter again? What a jerk would never see her again btw.

Switched at birth. My take

Incredible first story , but it’s going to take the equivalent of you pulling a rabbit out of your hat to bring the second story into a fathomable context . The accidental sexual encounter that was never brought to his attention is a deep act of betrayal and a complete lack of respect for her husband , that’s going to be tricky to bring to a reasonable conclusion , especially if they reconcile . Secondly how could a man live with the knowledge of paternity and not confront her and demand the truth ? It seems hypocritical , or more like cowardly , of him to only slightly distance himself in the beginning then slowly increase the distance as d-day approaches and never say a word , yet explain to the child his stoic determination to wait until she comes of age respectfully , but then abandon her with no hope of any future relations ! This is going to take seigfield and Roy , without the tigers , to make palpable! Other than that it’s really well written and impressive !

Hmmmm. Interesting start

Give me one good reason for the husband to Not confront his wife about his daughter's DNA test. What The Fuck, the child might have been mixed up at birth at the hospital! But you squelch the obvious normal human behaviors and turn the husband into some self pitying ghost? He isn't even going to acknowledge and keep in touch with the daughter he helped raise?

Glad this is in Australia, the wimpy immature cuck profile fits. At least we don't have to worry about the cuck shooting himself. Overall a weak and dithering story line. Good luck making it better. And thanks for the effort.

Well that’s a different story

weak ending

Readers, don't you think that for so long she denied to her friends, and to herself, that she had ever cheated on her husband, then after Brendan also turns out not to be a father, half-forgotten fucks and fleeting romances will stretch from the corners of her memory like marked cards from a cardsharp's sleeve?

So, Fertile Myrtle here gets knocked up by a couple drops of pre-cum and hubby has had 18+ years of direct injection (not counting the 2 years when he wouldn’t touch her after the DNA tests) and couldn’t get the job done. I suppose they could be one of those ‘one and done’ couples that seem to abound on this site (which I’ll never understand). He should be eternally grateful for the early years of child rearing before his suspicions. She should be ecstatic she has a child at all!

Okay!

4

need a second part

so many unanswered questions

Interesting. Im looking foward to pt2.

melodramatic but well done

If it was a "mistake" why didn't she confess? How do you mistakenly end up with a dick pumping into you a "few times" though?🤭🤣.. if alcohol makes you forget your husband just that quick, you shouldn't be going anywhere where alcohol will be... again, if this was an alleged drunken mistake, why didn't she tell him? Something stopped her. He might've been able to forgive her. It's the keeping of the secret for 20 yrs that gave him pause. Just because the guy didn't cum doesn't mean it wasn't cheating... is she stupid?.. what explanation does she have for keeping this a secret? The guy felt guilty and told his fiance.. she obviously didn't feel any such thing. Makes me wonder how many secrets she kept... I have no sympathy for her.. her tears didn't move me.. you can not have secrets in a marriage. The marriage would be doomed to fail. they were only married a year or less and she was already lying and keeping secrets.. that is SCARY..

Stop writing! Do you really enjoy telling junk thoughts of wit? Australia has to many gifted writers for you to begin to think that you should join them.

Well written...some of the best on this site...but the plot?

Good story!

He told fiance. Why didn't she tell?

Otherwise good!

Alcohol bites people in ass all the time but most never learn. I was one. Now limit myself the few times I drink.

Early in the story I thought it would be a switched baby in the hospital

BS but it had me going. I was entirely convinced that it would turn out that Olive was switched at birth and that Cheryl was not her mother either. That would have been a lot better twist to the story than another drunk error that this author seems to be a fan of.

Drop it dud, it becomes boring.

2nd read, and Jame's is still a bastard. Not for dumping her but dumping and cutting off Olive, a child he raised and loved. Are all the down-under men that callous and prideful to lash out at an innocent child for their ego?

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Hell did one of the DNA's confirm Olive as Nikki's mother - could it be a gross hospital FUBAR?

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3***, hooyah

Too much emotional minutia. There is no flow to the story. I couldn't get through the first page.

After FOUR paternity or DNA tests, he leaves? He need that many to believe the results? And the justification about the daughter and just leaving both hanging so abruptly seems rather odd. Maybe even out of a seemingly stolid character. In a real world such a husband would have confronted after 20 years of marriage. Nevertheless, an interesting story to follow.

Ok, so mistaken identity. Do the dates line up? He did paternity tests. What about maternity? Maybe babies switched at birth?

But cutting off Olive was just cruel.

I figured it'd go that way or the baby was switched at birth! It happens but not to often. 5 Stars!

The never seeing the daughter you raised, says a lot about the man. ..... Small ego.

Sean

Nicely done.

This has nothing to do with the husbands ego or anything like that. this has to do with 3 people in so deep of a relationship that when 2 of them have sex, that they laugh about it with the third party. Tellingly, they never mention it to the husband. Outright Disrespect is all that this is,

The husband of cheating wife goes on the run, never happens in reality. Yet there's 10,000 stories following that format? What is the original litertica story that started this trope?

um intentional or not that is cheating and every time ya didn't tell him about it is still cheating unless the child got switched somehow i don't see any way he would ever buy it. Damn you frustrate me they great well written stories about these tremendously flawed people.

Cheating wife deserved it, but don’t cut off the daughter . Good set up for chapter 2.

We were drunk/high, and I thought he was you doesn’t cut it. ESPECIALLY when you don’t immediately tell your husband. Maybe he would have left you then, and maybe he would have stayed. You denied him agency. Because you didn’t tell him what you did, he didn’t have the opportunity to choose his response. That was evil on your part!

ZK

Mistaken identity? Oh, it doesn’t count? Is that a real thing or more Femdom agitprop?

The fact she didn’t tell him immediately after it happened means she knew it “counted” and it mattered. Also, she should’ve gone and taken a Plan B. She definitely should have told him immediately.

Never understand why the guy waits years to leave. Just leave as soon as you find out. I mean divorce, not leave.

@ironman1017 Here's the thing. Plan B wasn't available in every 'civilized' country at the same time. I know it didn't come out here in Canada until 2005, 6 years after it was released in the US. So that means both my kids were born before it was allowed for sale here. As this seems to be set in Australia, I can also assume they didn't get it then either. Depending on Olivia's age, she too may have been born before it was available there.

And of course the wise, all knowing women found it perfectly acceptable to lie to the weak simpy little man. Facing things together? Saying help me? That's not how things work in worlds created, maybe inhabited by, these slutty authors.